Christeen...
I walked with Carlos down towards the tourney field where we let Dude off his leash so he could run around. For six in the evening, it was still quite warm outside. The sun was slowly setting, and there weren't many people out at this time.
"So...hi," Carlos broke the silence awkwardly. I chuckled and looked up at him. We were walking next to each other our hands brushing against one another from time to time.
"Hey," I said back, biting back a laugh.
"It would be maybe nice to know something about each other..." Carlos started.
"What do you wanna know?" I asked, looking around. We walked into the forest where we were originally hiding from Dude.
"Don't know...something, anything about you will be interesting enough." I blushed at Carlos' attempted compliment.
"Oh um well, as you know I grew up in Wonderland. It's not sunshine and lollipops there. Mad people can be really terrifying. And everything can get easily annoying. Especially the flowers. There are either painted red roses or never shutting herbs that simply get on your nerves with their high pitchers. Not a single pure white rose in sight because that would be too ordinary." I sighed.
"You like white roses?" Carlos asked looking down at me with a smile.
"Well, yeah. They are so pretty, they smell so nice and the color is just so pure and clean. In life as crazy as mine, it brings some sense of calmness and steadiness. It's weird, I know." I turned away embarrassed by my dreamy attitude. That is also kind of new.
"No, no, no, quite the opposite actually. I find it really nice seeing this side of you," Carlos said glancing down at my hand. I looked down too to see his hand take mine. Instant heat spread through my whole body at the contact.
"What about you then?" I asked. I didn't see the rock that got in front of my foot and I tripped over it letting out a panicked yelp. I was sure I would hit the ground when I felt someone's hands around my waist steadying me. Allowing my eyes to open, I saw Carlos looking at me a bit panicked but he was trying to mask it by a soft smile.
"Don't worry I got ya," He assured me, pulling me back into a standing position. "You okay?" He asked, hands still around my waist.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for the save." He just smiled and grabbed my hand again as we started walking.
"We are almost there," He informed me, his eyes trained forward, watching Dude carry a stick in his mouth.
"You never answered my question."
"Um...life at the Isle is hard. Not the cleanest, not the healthiest. The food there is usually rotten that's why there are often fights for it. There surely isn't any chocolate," He laughed at the end of his sentence. Seems like someone likes chocolate.
"Chocolate is amazing, I can't believe that until now I didn't know what it tasted like," I said all excited.
"Right?" The happiness in both of our voices was hard to miss out. Strange how a simple mention of chocolate can make us both happy.
We were walking through the forest, the sun still hasn't set completely which was good because otherwise, I would be faceplanting a lot more often. I have no clue where Carlos is leading me but I am just blindly following. Along the way, we talked some more. I opened up to him, which is something I never did with anyone. For the first time, I felt safe and confident with someone. It was so strange. Carlos also opened up to me. Told me all about his hard childhood. Before we got towards the end of the path I think we knew more about each other than our friends ever did.
"What are we doing here?" I asked looking at Carlos who walked towards some branches. He pulled them away to reveal a nicely set up blankets on the ground with some pillows. It looked so cute and actually quite cozy. "My hats," I mumbled seeing the nice setup. Carlos must have been thinking about this beforehand.
"You like it? I thought we could come here and watch the sunset and maybe the stars later on. But if you would prefer doing something else I can think of a backup plan or..." I cut him off by hugging him tightly.
"It's amazing Carlos," I squealed happily whilst still hugging him. He hugged back and I swear I heard a sigh escape his lips.
"Let's sit down then," Carlos said letting me pull away from him as we made our way over to the blankets. We just sat there enjoying the calm atmosphere and the amazing nature's show of the setting sun.
"I never saw this in Wonderland...I never knew how beautiful it could be," I sighed dreamily watching the setting sun that colored the sky in all shades of red and orange. Even some light splashes of purple were appearing already.
"Yeah, this is my first time too," Carlos said, his hand slowly traveling around my waist and hugging me closer. I dare to say I have never been so at peace. Never did I have this kind of calm moment. The calmest I was, was when we were being homeschooled and I almost fell asleep. Those moments were, however, short-lived as the Caterpillar always threw a book at me or something.
This peaceful atmosphere was also interrupted. But this time it wasn't a cranky old man with a pipe but a cute puppy that took Carlos' jacket that he put aside when we arrived here. Once the Vk realized what happened he shrieked and stood up rapidly, running after the dog.
"Dude, get back here with my jacket," I laughed when I heard him yell as he chased after the pup back into the forest. I sighed at the warm feeling of happiness...I shouldn't be feeling like this. So much has changed within me. It's not that long since we left home and I am already changing into someone different. Not only with my clothes but also in my attitude and beliefs.
A sudden feeling that what we are doing isn't right was tightening my chest. I need to admit as much as I didn't want to go here, I grew to love the place. I think I like the emotions that are different than craziness and anger. Feeling slight happiness, the warm feeling of affection you can feel to someone...even sadness. It feels good to feel all these emotions and not be afraid of them...But is it right? Is it good for me to open up like this, to allow this place to get into my heart?
I pulled out my phone to check my reflection in it and once again I was surprised by the view. I don't recognize this girl. She is smiling...she isn't worried about disappointing anyone, she isn't hiding who she is...
Christeen:
Who is this girl I'm staring at,
Same eyes and hair but feelings form a net,
What happened to not caring 'bout a thing?
What would my father now think?
Have I gone good? Have I gone bad?
Or am I still slightly mad?
Who can lead me out of this?
I feel like flying in the mist,
Of feelings so strange and unknown,
The seed of doubt in me has grown,
Feeling the pain of Amor's bow and arrow,
How many feelings are gonna follow?
Why whenever I close my eyes
Your picture is the one that rise?
Never thought chocolate could be so sweet,
But seeing your eyes my heart skips a beat.
Have I gone good? Have I gone bad?
Or am I still slightly mad?
Who can lead me out of this?
I feel like flying in the mist,
Of feelings so strange and unknown,
The seed of doubt in me has grown,
Feeling the pain of Amor's bow and arrow,
How many feelings are gonna follow?
In Wonderland this would be so wrong,
But my feelings for you are going so strong,
Does it matter if I want to be a cat or a dog?
When I finally know what my hearts been aching for all along?
Have I gone good? Have I gone bad?
Or am I still slightly mad?
Who can lead me out of this?
I feel like flying in the mist,
Of feelings so strange and unknown,
The seed of doubt in me has grown,
I have been struck with Amor's arrow,
And I can't wait what's more to follow.
Carlos came back carrying Dude in his arms with his jacket thrown over his shoulder. I laughed a little at Dude's cute pouting face and watched as Carlos set him down. Dude immediately run over to me and laid down by my feet. Carlos took his place next to me his hand once again finding its place around my waist. We sat there in comfortable silence watching the last signs of sun disappear.
"Chris, do you trust me?"
I glanced up at Carlos at his random question. His eyes were still fixed forward watching the last glimpse of the sun fade away.
"Well, I opened up to you about the things that no one yet knows so, is that enough for answering your question?" He chuckled lightly at my answer, finally turning to look at me.
"What were you doing in that museum that night?" My eyes widened at his question. How did he know I was there? As if reading my mind Carlos continued. "We bumped into each other, and when I didn't see anyone around I just knew it was you," He clarified and it all became a tad bit more obvious. That's why he smirked back then.
"You have to promise not to hate me or tell this to anyone..." Carlos nodded. "We want to get the key to Wonderland. Our dads sent us here with this one mission to fulfill. But I am not sure I want to do it anymore." I sighed sadly letting my head fall. Using his two fingers Carlos lifted my chin up so I could look at him.
"It's not bad if you changed your mind...actually I am having second thoughts about something too. The only thing that matters is that you do what is good and comfortable for you in situations like this."
After this light discussion, Carlos and I spent the night with some light chit chat and star gazing. We then walked back to our dorms. Carlos had to carry Dude most of the way because the poor pup was exhausted. On the corridor, I said goodnight to Carlos and gave him a quick hug which he returned with one hand since the other one was holding Dude.
Closing the door behind myself I sighed thinking about the great night that I experienced. Whitley was long asleep when I came in. But from her position lying across the end of her bed I could tell that she was trying to wait for me. Letting out a laugh I got her into a normal sleeping position and threw a blanket over her sleeping form. After that, I walked to the bathroom to get ready for bed.
Carlos and his words were still occupying my thoughts causing me to feel butterflies in my stomach. It was a giddy feeling and I thought I wouldn't be able to fall asleep but as if someone put a sleeping spell on me I was out before my head even hit the pillow properly.