Hi I am Julie,yes Mattia is my big brother yeah yeah.i am 12 years old and well I have depression but no one knows not mattia,not gianluca not my mom or dad.no one but me and it feels like if I am trapped in my mind.it really fucking sucks.but oh well I can't tell anyone,it's not like they care anyways.
I am in my bed rn. Crying my eyes out because I want to be pretty and skinny like all these other girls like FUCK can't I be worth anything.u know what I can't take this anymore I have to.....I have to
Cut...TW
I got up and went to my desk to get scissors I loooked at them and questioned myself is it worth it...ofc it is wtf
I got them and opened it up and cut 4 lines on my wrist while I was crying hard tears on my face.and I dropped down on my knees crying because I am so tired of life.with the scissors in my hands covered in blood and my wrists,having lines of blood.i felt really tried,really really tried.i got up wiped my tears cleaned myself up,put on a hoodie and put on a smile and went downstairs*
TW DONE
Mattia was there with ale and kari they were like brothers to me but I can't hug them cus of what I did it would sting
So I just went in to the kitchen and grabed some water then went upstairs.
After 1 hour scrolling though TikTok I go hot so I took off my hoodie and just learned a dance so I made a tiktok and posted it.minutes after I started to get comments like "what's that on her arm" "does she cut" "are u okay"
I quickly deleted the TikTok and put on a hoodie...fuck I am dumb well it's only been 6 minutes no one will tell Mattia or anyone I am good.then I saw Mattia me post on TikTok so I liked it and went to the comments...it was full of "is ur sister ok" "ur sister cuts" "talk to ur sister she is not ok" omgggg fuck I have to leave the house before mattia or anyone comes up to my room so I told my mom I was going to the store and I left. I came back to the house 10 minutes later when I went though that door Mattia,ale and kari where waiting for me ugh why
Julie-uh hey
Mattia-Julie show me ur wrist
Julie-why
Mattia-just show me Julie!
Julie-no leave me alone
Mattia-julie! Show me
Julie-Mattia pls don't make me
Mattia-pls Julie pls I won't get mad
I showed him
Mattia-why bub
Julie-I am just so tired of life
Ale-aw Julie don't say that
Julie-it's true I hate life I don't want to be here it's like what's the point in even trying no one likes me
Kari-Julie ur like my sister! I want u to live
Mattia-Julie I wouldn't be ok if I lost u
Ale-we all care about u.we don't want to see u like that
Julie-I am just so tried
Mattia comes up to me and wraps me into a hug I hug him back and start to cry
Julie-i am sorry Mattia
Mattia-sh sh it's ok sh
He picks me up and I lay on his shoulder only to fall asleep
I woke up and I was in my bed
I went to Matttias room
And went and sat on his bed
Mattia-are u ok bubba
Julie-kinda
Mattia-I want u to know that u are worth so much and I love u and I wouldn't be ok if I lost u
Julie-I love u to Mattia
Mattia-and ur coming on tour with me
Julie-why
Mattia-because I want to much sure u don't harm ur self
Julie-Mattia I won't
Mattia-it's ether that or u have to FaceTime me everyday till I come back to show me ur wrist
Julie-fine I will go
Mattia-yayyy
Julie-hahah good night Mattia ily
Mattia-ily
I went to bed feeling a little bit better.and happy to go on tour with my big brother~
HII HOPE U LIKE THIS :)