"None of us really changes over time. We only become more fully what we are."
-Anne Rice's "The Vampire Lestat"
Ophelia stared at the mask.
It felt fake in her hands, as if her mind had fabricated it. A slight motion from her peripheral vision brought her back into the serious reality she didn't want to face, and she quickly joined the ranks of guards. When in the back of the van, Ophelia assessed the situation at hand; Natasha had been shot by the Winter Soldier, a pained look on her face as she clutched the wound. As Sam spoke up about her needing medical attention, Ophelia watched as Hill pulled out a baton that was electrified. It made Ophelia jump slightly, the thought of electricity running through her mind disturbing her. But Hill used this device on everyone else in the back of the van, leaving Sam, Natasha, Steve and Ophelia.
When Hill removed her helmet, she muttered. "That thing was squeezing my brain."
The minute the van stopped, Hill pulled out a device that was able to burn through anything, and they cut a hole in the bottom of the van, and through the road itself. By the time Rumlow even realized they were gone, it was far too late.
They had headed back to the dam where Fury was, a location kept secret from anyone who might want any of them dead. When they had returned, Natasha, Steve and Sam were speaking with Fury himself, and Ophelia's hands went clammy. They were discussing whether or not to let Ophelia help them; they were going to stop SHEILD and HYDRA alike, and more importantly, stop Project Insight. Now that they knew of the algorithm and how it was going to target everyone who SHIELD would want alive, mostly everyone who still sided with SHIELD and anyone who was enhanced like Steve Rogers. They knew they had no other option than to stop it. They were going to need as many trustworthy people as possible.
Whether Ophelia was trustworthy or not was exactly what was being discussed as she sat silently, looking at the mask still. Her thumb touched the metal mouth guard; it was smooth under her fingers. Only hours ago Bucky had been breathing through there. She had to remind herself that he was not Bucky anymore, but she also refused to give up hope that she could still find him. HYDRA's methods were not foolproof. If they were, she wouldn't have been sitting where she was, waiting for Captain America to clear her name.
As her eyes caught motion, she looked up and spotted the very man. Steve exited the room where Fury was healing, a dire look on his face, but there was hope in those blue eyes. Blue eyes that reminded Ophelia of Bucky's.
"Good to see you chose the right side," Steve said authentically.
"I've never been given a choice, until now."
"Would you have chosen good then?"
"Depends when you would have asked me. I've been brainwashed, tortured, drugged, poisoned, abused... You'd think any sane person would always choose the opposite, but it is hard when you have never felt friendship, compassion or... love."
"You knew my friend..." Steve couldn't stop the question from escaping; he was still having a hard time understanding the situation that was at hand. Stopping HYDRA had been one thing, but discovering that his best friend was back from the dead and not in a good way, that was a whole new ball park for Steve.
"Bucky," she replied with a faint smile. It was as if he was just a memory now.
"What did they.... What did they do to him?" he asked.
She looked solemnly at him, seeing the pleading in his eyes and knowing she had to tell him even if it pained them both. It took her a few moments to collect the thoughts and collect herself, then she told h
"When they found him, they gave him that metal arm; his had been severed in the fall." She explained how she had been given time to talk to him, to abuse his amnesia and try to trick him, but he had humanity in him and he knew better. She told him about the time he was sent after her, and how he let her go when he remembered her. She told Steve everything that he would want to hear, and tried to skim over the details that pained her to think about. They were all bittersweet memories.
"So there is a chance he can come back from this...?"
"I don't know anymore. I cannot link with him, that was how I got him to remember those other times... but this time.... I'm not so sure."
"I won't give up on him."
"Neither will I."
"Do you love him?" He asked the question quickly, but there was a lot of weight behind it. In his eyes there was hope; it revealed to Ophelia that Steve hoped Bucky hadn't always been this way since captured, but that he had gotten a glimmer of light here and there because of her.
"How would I know?" Ophelia cocked her head to the side.
Steve smiled; a perfect smile. People would fall over his charm if it was tangible, but Ophelia simply saw a good person and a kind heart. Sort of how Bucky was before they changed him, but she did feel differently about Bucky than she did with Steve. It was that spark inside of her that had been created a long time ago, in a dark and desolate place. Despite efforts by HYDRA to douse the flame, it burned throughout the years and still burned now. Ophelia wondered if that was what love was supposed to feel like, she was learning a whole new spectrum of emotions, ones that she liked feeling.
"You care enough about him to help us, to risk your life for him..." Steve brought her out of her thoughts.
"Is that what love is?" she asked, curious as ever.
"Something like that." He chuckled. "I actually don't really know the feeling either. I used to."
Ophelia pondered that for a moment, wondering if that was what she felt for Bucky. Perhaps she had loved Bucky, but he was not Bucky anymore. She had to face that fact that right now he was The Winter Soldier, and she couldn't love him. She just couldn't. That made all of this a lot more painful. But if love was what she was feeling inside of her, that flame, then she would do anything she could to retrieve Bucky from the Winter Soldier. HYDRA could not put out the fire inside of her, but by giving up she would be doing it herself.
"You're coming with us," Steve said suddenly, startling Ophelia. From down the hall, Natasha and Sam were making their way towards Ophelia and Steve. "To SHIELD. Bucky is going to be our biggest threat, I have no doubt, and I think you can stop him. You are valuable in many ways, Ophelia."
"I'll need your help," Ophelia stated, her eyes glancing up at Natasha and Sam as they joined Steve. "I'll need all of your help."
"We need yours," Natasha said. There was something in Natasha's eyes; she understood Ophelia and her change of heart because she too had been in a similar situation. "You know HYDRA. You know how they work. And you know the Winter Soldier."
She was right. They would need to work together. She dove into how she thought HYDRA was going to handle this situation. It was likely that they didn't care who was SHIELD anymore, they would kill anyone who disobeyed them or tried to help the Captain. Their secrets would be revealed, but they all agreed HYDRA would send Bucky after Steve; he was their biggest threat and he was the only person who was a match for Steve. Agent Hill explained how the Helicarriers for Project Insight could be shut down, though it would take a lot of combined team effort as well as a huge risk for everyone involved. There would be losses, on both sides.
Natasha left to pose as one of the council members in order to expose Alexander Pierce and to stop Project Insight for good. Sam, Ophelia and Steve prepared for the fight of their lives. Ophelia grabbed the mask again and held it in her small hands. Her knuckles were white from gripping it so tightly, but she couldn't let go. It was all she had of Bucky, though she would not use the mask to represent who he was. It belonged to the Winter Soldier, not Bucky. They were two different people trapped in the same body.
***
When they arrived at the SHIELD Triskelion, they broke into the communications room. Steve once again proved that he was worthy of the title of Captain America.
"Attention all SHIELD agents, this is Steve Rogers. You're heard a lot about me over the last few days. Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time to tell the truth. SHIELD is not what we thought it was. It's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The S.T.R.I.K.E. and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want. Absolute control. They shot Nick Fury. And it won't end there. If you launch those helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way. Unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot. But the price of freedom is high. It always has been. And it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not."
"Did you write that down first, or was is off the top of your head?" Sam half joked, but showed that he was impressed as well with Steve's speech.
Ophelia felt as though she was to blame for all of this, but she had no part of HYDRA being part of SHIELD. That had happened when they took on Zola as part of their scientific research team. Their biggest mistake had been giving him a second chance, but it wouldn't be a mistake this time.
Ophelia was determined to show her worth to SHIELD, or more importantly, Captain America. To bring down as much of HYDRA as she could, that was the best she could offer as an apology for all she had done in the past. She did not even want to know how many people had lost their lives because she had targeted them for HYDRA. However, even without her, they would have found a way, it would only have taken a little bit longer. She was willing to risk her life to prove her worth.
If she died today, it would be with compassion and dignity.
"Ophelia, you're with Sam," Steve said as the helicarriers began to lift up from their watery resting spots. "He will fly you to the third carrier, where you will replace one of the chips with this one."
She took the small chip. With that in her hands she had so much power to give to HYDRA, but she would not. Her head and heart were with SHIELD, or better yet, with the Captain. But still part of her heart was left behind with Bucky... With the Winter Soldier.
Shaking these thoughts from her head she walked out with Steve and Sam, rushing towards where the carriers were slowly rising.
"Hold on tight, kid," Sam said. Ophelia looked sideways at him, realizing he had given her a nickname, something Bucky had done so many years ago. The first thing that made her understand there was more to life than HYDRA.
With a soft smile, Ophelia wrapped her arms around Sam's neck and gripped tightly as the wings of his Falcon device opened up into mechanical wings. Steve disappeared from sight then, and Sam brought her to the third carrier. When he dropped her off, he studied her briefly as if deciding whether or not to trust her.
"You know I am much older than you," she said, her accent making her words bounce.
He cracked a smile, coming to a decision; he did trust her. "Good luck."
"You too," she replied, already feeling the stress of probable failure.