A/N: And finally, we have reached the end of the first book of our trilogy! What a journey it has been! More than a year with you guys has been amazing and this was such an extraordinary experience to me. Thank you for everything and I dedicate this last chapter to all of youuuu <3
First, I wanna thank ConstantVigilance, tarnishedflowers and Swirling Darkness for supporting this story and reviewing every single chapter without hesitation-- they supported this book at the very beginning even when they were the only ones reading it at that time lol! Thank you so much! You guys are the bae, always! (Pun intended)
Second, I wanna thank fanfic writers who inspired me to write this story (lots from AO3 & FFN) but from Wattpad they are: bealadantra95, ChristinaFay, bumblebee_5sn4p3 and many others! You guys are da bomb!
Third, I wanna thank everyone who has reviewed, your reviews mean a lot to me: the three babes at the top, Francine_Bonnefoy, CyerraM, mikeymorphine92, HaileySnape, random245, SapphireFishback, AsgardianGossiper, ouat_rumbelle_, drapple_, Timetobefabulous, Bloodredheart, CybeleKhoury, Tootsie_Noodles, adelenedelacruz, KatelynLaMarche, slythrincrest, animagusnjh, AmyBennett463, Sosonoso, dannygirl97, Pbj123456, DavidBryanRashbaum, DestiniKomar, LeoraLuvh, ThorHairflickSnape, DracoTatzeSnape, justalamemuggle, Lotana, Snapelover823, RedEyedMisery, Juliet22Fujioka, Bryanime, Deathly_hallow_2, OnyxTheodoreLerins, priyaramkaran, najomi, BlakelyWalkowiak, Wolf5829, ToriRose1, hannahbby11, xshewolf, BlueMoon3, Nilyssa_Hern, vampgirlluv21, Angels96, FuNtOnHiVe, sereneBedlam, Little-Miss-Pandora, lucybird, TornadoHunter00, (to be continued.... I'm gonna list all of you guys it's just that it's 2am here and I have a 7am class lol)
And last but NEVER the least: to EVERYONE who has added this on their reading lists and voted for it!!!! You guys are awesome, thank you so much! For obvious reasons, I can't list you all down even though I would like to. Thank you!!!!
Enjoy <3
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Give me that mattock and the wrenching iron.
Hold, take this letter; early in the morning
See thou deliver it to my lord and father.
Give me the light. Upon thy life I charge thee,
What e'er thou hearest or seest, stand all aloof,
And do not interrupt me in my course.
Why I descend into this bed of death
Is partly to behold my lady's face,
But chiefly to take thence from her dead finger
A precious ring-a ring that I must use
In dear employment-therefore hence be gone.
But if thou, jealous, dost return to pry
In what I farther shall intend to do,
By heaven, I will tear thee joint by joint,
And strew this hungry churchyard with thy limbs.
The time and my intents are savage-wild,
More fierce and more inexorable far
Than empty tigers or the roaring sea.
- William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet
.................................................................
CHAPTER 29 - Do Not Fear
~ R ~
"Severus."
Renee had to unwillingly detach herself from her professor's consoling embrace upon hearing the voice of the headmaster call his name. Dumbledore was standing across them with the customary sparkle in his all-knowing eyes, but his face was undoubtedly staid.
"Albus, Ms. Capulet has found out from Alastor that the Triwizard cup was a portkey. The other professors must be alerted immediately." Severus said directly without a hint of trepidation on his face.
Dumbledore remained silent for a moment before he enunciated his orders. "I need you to guard the site now, Severus. Ms. Capulet, would you come outside and join your friends? I wouldn't advise you to linger around the halls by yourself."
"Y-yes, sir," Renee obliged shakily, shooting a worried glance at her head of house, who returned it with a worryingly blank gaze, before walking away.
The girl felt drained from having been hit by the Cruciatus curse and she was absolutely sure that she would collapse again. Bringing her unstable walk to a full stop, she leaned on the stone wall, trying to catch her breath.
Renee was using her sleeve to wipe the beads of sweat on her forehead when she saw someone walk past the hallway adjacent to her. Whoever that person was surely did not know that she was there because she carefully hid herself behind a post. The man who passed by was panting from treading very briskly and the moment he wheezed, she knew straightaway who he was and hurtled to chase him.
"You can stop running away now. The headmaster already knows what you did... professor." Renee said without flinching, pointing her wand directly at Mad-Eye Moody.
He chuckled with mirth. "Does he? I shouldn't think that would matter now. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at--"
Renee was able to wordlessly cast an Incarcerous spell and an Immobulus charm on him and walked closer to the now struggling man. "By the way, you reek of Polyjuice. Who are you?"
"Again, it doesn't matter. Do you really think you can stop me with this idiotic spell you've cast?"
"Why did Alexander choose me?! He bloody well knows that I'm not purebood!"
"I suppose he thinks that the Dark Lord will find out eventually and kill you anyway."
"He'll kill him too, for lying!"
"That's not my problem now, is it?"
"You bastard--" Renee grabbed his collar. "Tell me who you are right now!"
"I'll tell you that I'm the same person who tried to get rid of you and Snape at the WWGP. I would have succeeded of not for that Shacklebolt twat," the fake Moody spat. She suddenly recalled the time he and Severus were lured into a room and could not get out.
"Kingsley and I suspect it to be an inside job." Dumbledore stated.
"What? How is that possible?!" Professor Sprout asked in disbelief.
"The likes of that cunning strategy may have been known in the least sense, but that is not to say that it has never occured," the headmaster revealed.
Dumbledore knew, Renee realised. He knew all along; he knew everything. What is everyone playing at?
"Moody" was soon enough able to release himself from Renee's spell and tried to stun her as he ran, but she blocked every jinx, chasing the culprit with disdain. Unfortunately, the impostor disappeared into the crowd when she reached the site of the task, and all she could see were people crouching down to the centermost of the grounds.
Renee tried not to break down as she saw Amos Diggory, Cedric's father, run towards his dead son. She couldn't erase the thought that she could've done more to save him or at least help him escape when he was in the graveyard if she hadn't been foolish enough to get herself tied up helplessly. Everyone in the crowd were either sobbing or screaming, and she was about to locate Fred when she saw Moody snatch Harry while everyone was grieving. The bastard quickly hauled the boy away from the crowd, a clear indication that he was up to no good.
Running at full tilt and hitting everyone who was in her way, Renee went to Severus. "Professor!"
The wizard immediately heard her and sprinted towards her. "Where is Moody?"
"He took Harry with him into the castle! He had a whiff of Polyjuice-- I don't think he's who he is."
Amidst the crowd dashing to get back to the castle, Severus tugged Renee's arm and they both went to a hidden and deserted area. "Listen to me, Renee, you need to get inside my office and stay there. Albus and I will look for the bloody miscreant and sort this whole thing out. You need to remain calm and wait for me. DO NOT go anywhere, do not touch anything, do not speak to anyone."
"A-Alright," she said, not particularly sure on how she could enter the premises because she has always just been knocking on his door. "How do I get in?"
"Say 'vindicabo lilium'," Severus instructed. "Be careful, Renee."
•••
The ability to breathe properly was something Renee did not have as she waited for Severus' arrival. She tried her best to keep her panic at bay and shut her thoughts down, but to no avail; there was no feasible explanation that succeeded in answering her questions.
"The soul of a chosen heiress bound to the unregenerated flesh..."
It was only weeks ago when Renee learned about her mother and her shady past, and the shock was still fresh. Merlin knows what was going to happen to her in the future; she had no idea what Alexander's spell was for and what exactly the Dark Lord's intentions are.
And you thought loving Severus was hard enough.
It dawned on her--- and hit her rather painfully, that Severus is a Death Eater. She didn't know what this meant, she didn't know anything. Why she always had an unfortunate life was beyond her mind's capability.
"Take this," Severus finally arrived, handing her a vial. Impulsively removing his cloak, he sat beside Renee on his threadbare settee. "Tonic, quickest painkiller in existence."
Renee drank it with utmost urgency, feeling relieved. "What happened?"
"Barty fucking Crouch Jr., that's what happened." he said, running his fingers through his ebony hair.
"What in the world?" she asked in shock.
"You're correct, he was using Polyjuice to disguise himself, and he was right under our noses all this time. He locked up the real one in a trunk."
Bloody hell, we've had a Death Eater professor for a whole year. Renee covered her face with her hands, unable to say anything. She felt Severus' hand rubbing her back before he cupped her face and looked directly into her eyes.
"Are you alright? Have you been injured?" Severus asked softly.
"I think so," she responded weakly.
"I need you to disclose all events at the graveyard. Why did the bastard bring you there?"
"It's probably best if you see for yourself."
"Are you certain?" he asked with concern, caressing her face.
"Yes," she assured.
Severus kissed her forehead before bringing out his wand. "Legilimens."
It was as if going through that ordeal once wasn't painful enough, but to go through them again in vivid detail, Renee almost regretted letting Severus see the memories. She was forced to experience them all over again, but it was essential for him to see them so that he would know and explain to her everything. When the spell was over, she opened her eyes, and the first thing she saw was Severus' fretful expression.
"What did he cast, Severus? What kind of binding spell was that?" she asked worriedly.
Severus did not answer immediately; he seemed to be more keen on devoting his time to his own thoughts rather than answering Renee's question, which did not bring comfort the girl at all. She was always aware of his style: that he would evade questions that he did not want to answer. She didn't know what could possibly be more frightening: to know her fate or to be ignorant of her inescapable demise.
"Your mother must love you very much."
What the hell is he insinuating? "Are you kidding me? Does leaving your baby to a fucking demented father count as love?"
Looking at Renee carefully, Severus frowned. "Demented?"
The least she wanted to do was to elaborate-- she hadn't even intended to let Severus know of her relationship with her father. "Why did you assume that about my mother?" she diverted.
"Because it seems as though Alexander thinks that your suffering will cause the destruction of your mother. I apologise-- it was not my intention to assume. It was merely an observation which I now find questionable."
"So... how exactly will I suffer?" Renee asked. "I'm sorry, Severus, you shouldn't even be involved in this."
"On the contrary, I think I should. Renee, you do understand that the Dark Lord is the heir of Slytherin, don't you?"
"Yes."
"And with the aid of that binding spell, he has made you his heiress. Which means that you are, strictly speaking, his consort. His property. I do not know how nor when you will meet him again, but you can be certain that it will happen. Why?"
Renee wiped a lone tear. "Why what?"
"I know why Alexander did this to you, but I cannot comprehend how someone so vile can do such a thing to you of all people. Why?" Severus asked rhetorically, holding her hand tight.
"Because some people just don't have lucky lives, I guess."
"If I could just Felix Felicis this away, you know I would."
"Severus," she said. "What will you do? Did he call for you?"
He sighed. "Not a clue. He will, soon enough."
•••
The day after the most unfortunate third Triwizard task, every single member from the three Wizarding institutions gathered for a tribute to the late Cedric Diggory. It was the first time Renee witnessed the Great Hall silent; it wasn't the sort of excited quietness she had witnessed the very first time she'd set foot in the castle, but rather a sombre, mournful silence that she detested.
"Today, we acknowledge a really terrible loss." Dumbledore announced dolefully. "Cedric Diggory was, as you all know, exceptionally hardworking, infinitely fair-minded, and most importantly, a fierce, fierce friend. Now, I think therefore you have the right to know exactly how he died.
"You see, Cedric Diggory was murdered... by Lord Voldemort!" People winced and gasped at the name, still terrified of the power it carries. "The ministry of magic does not wish me to tell you this. But not to do so, I think, would be an insult to Cedric Diggory's memory. All the pain we all feel of this dreadful loss reminds me-- reminds us, that while we may come from different places and speak different tongues, our hearts beat as one. In light of recent events, the bonds of friendship we made this year would be more important than ever. Remember that. And Cedric Diggory will have not died in vain, you remember that! And we celebrate a boy who was kind and honest and brave and true-- right to the very end."
Everyone, most likely with the exception of Severus, had been tearing up by the time Dumbledore finished his eulogy to Cedric. It was the last day of the term; the last day of Renee's sixth year and the last day of her first term in the castle. She couldn't believe that it had been ten months since she first boarded onto Hogwarts express and now she was about to leave; it was all too overwhelmingly formidable.
Severus.
The memory of hearing Severus speak for the first time was indeed magical; it was as if something that was lifeless within Renee was awakened. No amount of flamboyant experiences in Beauxbatons has ever matched the ones she had in Hogwarts, and it was mostly because of the wizard. She honestly could not imagine her life if she had not been fortunate enough to meet him.
There was no doubt in Renee's heart that she loved Severus. Everything that has happened between them was, for her, the best memories she's ever had. Never did it occur to her that one day, she would meet the man who she would willingly give her whole heart to. She was smiling so much from reminiscing that had to cover her mouth with her hand just to conceal the lunacy of the whole thing.
Renee tried to come up with a valid reason for her devotion to the man, but there was nothing really coherent except for the fact that she grew in love with him. But it did worry her that there was still much to know about Severus: his past life, his priorities, his views, anything and everything that would help her love him in the best way she can, even if he won't accept what she's willing to give, which is her life and everything that exists in it. And she was ready to let him in, if he would allow her to.
The prospect of their relationship, or rather, her fear of him losing the little interest that he has in her as soon as anyone discovers this secret of hers frightened her terribly. She didn't know what Dumbledore thought when he saw her hugging Severus and at this point, she's too afraid to ask. She was also deeply scared of Severus shutting her off completely from his life, much more than him not reciprocating.
To say that Renee is fearful of Severus' future endeavors as well as whatever's going to be thrown at her face is a huge understatement; as much as she was happy with how things are turning out between her and him, there are lots of factors to be considered such as the multitude of risks in fighting all odds.
Am I willing to risk everything?
Yes, I am, came a quick and naive response.
"Hey, Renee! Are your things ready yet?" Fred tramped towards her, interrupting her solemn thoughts.
Everyone else was still lounging about the castle, enjoying the few minutes they have until they'll all be ordered to leave. She was surprised that Fred found her-- but then again he's half of the invincible Weasley twins, so there were no questions needed.
"Yes, I guess I'll just meet you at the compartment?" Renee smiled, grateful for having a friend at times like these.
"Sure! See you!" Fred ran away gleefully.
Renee was sure that apart from badgering her relentlessly to live with them at the Burrow, all they were going to talk about was Voldemort's return and she was thankful that none of them knows what has happened to her. She has no plans of letting them know; she was firm on not letting anyone get involved. She wasn't even completely mindful of "it" herself; it was all too terrifying.
Walking to her room, she bade Jamila goodbye as her fellow Slytherin went ahead. She went in to pick up her trunk, but her beating heart came to a halt when she read a brief note on top of her nightstand.
Boathouse. Now.
Renee dashed madly outside as soon as she saw Severus' spidery handwriting. She couldn't help but smile at the thought of seeing the wizard one last time before they part ways. She was, albeit hopelessly, going to try to convince him to meet her or at the very least, owl her, just for the sake of her sanity.
~ S ~
Severus wasn't wholly interested in being in charge of today's employee tasks: to ensure that all students would be able to board Hogwarts' express on time. Years ago, he would have loved to see those damned chits disappear out of his sight, but time has made him realise that there are plenty of other things worth doing during this rarity of a moment of peace. Though he enjoys the thought of knowing that he won't have to deal with dunderheads who couldn't hold their wands with two hands for at least two months, he wasn't particularly fond of seeing one of his students go.
This brilliant, beautiful student, who Severus had not expected to change the course of events in his life within just a year, was about to leave him, and he despised this unusual feeling of despair at her departure. He wasn't supposed to be acting like a Goddamn sissy, for Circe's sake. The Dark Lord's return was just the first step to a road paved with agony and torture, and he had already planned to enter a life of living hell just to attain that certain thing he promised someone he would achieve no matter what, but everything changed when she came into his life.
Renee Capulet was the only person he didn't have to deliberately justify himself to. For reasons he would never understand, she accepted him despite of his shortcomings as a person in general. That quality alone stands out from the rest of the people who naturally, hate him, and those who pretend to regard him as a worthy person but are actually only there to take advantage of his usability.
The thing that he was not expecting the most was letting Renee see a side of him that only one person has ever witnessed, and the said person was no longer living. The aforementioned was also the reason why he was doing all of this in the first place, but meeting Renee made him question certain actions of his.
But in the end, Severus decided that he would see all of this through. He has already invested so much in this bloody ordeal and everything would be put to waste if Potter will not succeed. Renee on the other hand, was a totally different story.
"Severus! Hello! Thank you for... this."
Renee came in the boathouse panting, obviously from running all the way from the dungeons. Why she bestows so much effort, he'll never know.
Severus smirked at the sight of the glowing girl. "I trust you are ready to leave the castle?"
"Not entirely, but my things are ready."
"I'm sure you're pleased to have a little vacation, at least. You and I both know it will do you good."
She walked towards him until she was only inches away from her. "I'm not pleased about not being able to see you. Can't we--"
"No," Severus said ahead of her, knowing what she was suggesting. "I cannot risk anything."
Renee's crestfallen face made his chest tighten. "Oh, okay. Well, I guess I better go..."
"I asked you to come here because I needed to tell you something." he stated, looking at the tears that did not dare to fall down from her eyes.
"What is it?" she asked innocently.
"Quite soon I shall be summoned by the Dark Lord. There is not much I can tell you about his plans, but I will make it a point to know what he intends to achieve with you. I will help you, Renee... I can protect you."
The tears that once threatened to leave Renee's eyes were now freely falling, and both of them were standing rather awkwardly with him painfully looking at her suffer. He couldn't resist seeing her like that; he did not know why, but he just had to keep him safe in his arms. He embraced her securely, letting her know that his presence meant she won't be imperiled.
"No harm will come to you, as long as I am here. We will work this out... You have my word."
"Severus," Renee muffled. "You know you don't have to. Why are you doing this?"
Grabbing something from his front pocket, Severus handed a silver book-shaped locket to the girl. "Something from WWGP. It's not much, I hope you shan't flaunt your disappointment immensely."
"Oh my God, it's beautiful!" she held it out and wore it almost immediately. "Thank you so much! Now I feel horrible that I didn't get anything for you!"
Renee surprised Severus with a chaste kiss at first, then looked at him so voraciously that he just had to give in to those pleading eyes. He held her waist as she put her arms around her shoulders, enjoying the feel of her lips against his.
"Don't you bother," Severus said after they parted. "I believe your cake was more than enough. I need not ask for more..."
"For Merlin's sake, Severus, stop teasing me about that! If you would just let me visit you over the summer, I would bake you a much better one."
"Sounds horrifically tempting, but I shall desist."
"I'll send my owl and ask her to peck your fingers if she has to just so you would write me a reply."
"Tenacious witch," Severus sighed. "To answer your question, I am doing this because I cannot deny the fact that there is something between us. To act on it or not, however, is a completely different story. Let us not get ahead of our better selves. You have a career to pursue and I have a job to finish."
"I understand."
"Do you really?"
"Yes."
"I think I have just heard the last warning bell for the gates."
"Wait, I need to tell something to you too."
It was now his turn to be curious. "What might that be?"
Renee held his hand and laced her fingers with his one last time, relishing the feel of his skin. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before opening them again to look at him.
"I love you, Severus. So much. You don't have to say it back, you don't have to love me back. Whatever you do won't change the way I feel. I just wanted to let you know that."
Severus considered himself an old man even though by Wizarding standards he was still quite young, and he has never heard anyone say that to him, ever. He was rendered speechless, and he had the kind of shock that made him feel good rather than deathly.
He was silent for a long time, unable to register the words that were spoken to him, when he suddenly saw a flash of sorrow in Renee's eyes before she started to walk away. By the time he caught up to her, she was already out of the boathouse; he had to tug her arm just so she would face him again, and they embraced one more time as he placed kiss on her forehead just to let her know that her sentiments are far from being unwelcome.
"Remember that I will not let anything happen to you," he whispered against her ear.
Smiling, Renee waved her last goodbye as she walked away from Severus.
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~ END OF BOOK ONE ~