"And mum, he was screaming all these things at me. Mum, I was literally struggling to breathe as he walked out. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. And knowing that Harry was going to return in a short while, oblivious to what had happened! That he'd come inside, probably with that angelic smile on his face that always eased my stress as he would start up a conversation with the most peaceful of voices, and I'd have to ignore it! It was treacherous!" Louis cried into the phone. "And when he did come home, he was the sweetest most perfect thing to exist. He knew the second he walked in that something was wrong. How am I suppose to hate him?! And then we got in a fight. It was horrible. He was so broken. I broke him. I broke the most important thing in my life. And he kept yelling about how no one loves him, and no one ever feels butterflies when they see him, or feel like they can't even move when they lock eye contact with him, but mum, I do! I do all of those things and more and I had to act like I didn't! I had to watch his face as I shattered his heart!"
I felt my heart ache and scream at me for just standing here, letting Louis cry so painfully. It was yelling at me to run up to him and wrap him into my arms. Give him all of my comfort. Completely hide him from this dark world that doesn't deserve a thing as perfect as he is. A ray of sunshine as bright as he is. The world doesn't deserve any of it, because you know what it does with something so pure? It tarnishes it. It creates this odious goal to blacken one of the few things still shining in this world. I know because I am one of those things. And if it wasn't for Louis, I wouldn't still be one.
So I listened.
For once in my life, I listened to my heart.
I ran away from the tree I had been hiding behind, and towards the most perfect soul I had ever met. He was still crying in distress to his mom, his back staring at me as he ran his hands through his hair.
Once I had finally gotten to him, I grabbed him as tightly as I could. Wrapping my entire body around his smaller one. Engulfing every perfect part of him. I heard him let out an "oof" in surprise at my attack. He jumped a bit in my hold but it didn't take him long to realize who it was.
I was holding onto him so tightly then. I was almost terrified that if I let go, I would watch the last ray of light leave his eyes, so I wasn't going to let go, not ever. I was going to use all of my strength to keep him in my hold, hoarding every part of his light and making sure no one could steal it away from us. Because God knows the world would go pitch black if Louis's light was hidden from it.
I was hugging him from behind so to hug me back, he wrapped his hands around my wrists which were crossed around his chest, squeezing onto him with an extreme amount of force. I nuzzled my face deep into his neck and felt as his hands embraced my wrists with so much warmth. I had missed those hands, even though it had only been a night since I last had them to myself.
I felt him squirm in my grasp as he turned around. He took a hold of my arms and straightened them so I was looking into his glassy eyes. I broke down the instant my eyes made contact with his. I felt unworthy of his look. He was too perfect, and I was scarred, dirty, tarnished. I wasn't good enough for him, but he still loved me. Somehow he looked past all of my flaws that sometimes I find myself struggling to look past, and he embraced them and for once made me feel good about them.
"Harry?" I watched as he broke down the instant his mouth uttered those words.
He melted in my arms as his sobs became uncontrollable, which only evoked mine. I held onto the precious little thing in my arms as I realized how much I had missed him. How can one person control your life to the point that every thought you have encircles their existence. So much so that if you go even 12 hours without seeing them, your physical health plummets and you feel deprived of your body's basic necessities. You feel like something is missing, and not just something, but everything. You feel like you've been living on 1% for the past year and you start to wonder how much longer your body can go on like this. It seems so over dramatic I know, but it's all real. And it's so painful. When you love someone, it's the most beautiful and most dangerous notion you can ever live through. And because of that, so many people are scared of it. They're scared to open up their hearts and to be able to go up to that one person in their life and explain to them just how much they mean to them. And from this dilemma, soulmates never meet, and Cupid has to watch with a broken heart as two of his creations just keep getting farther and farther away from each other.
But as someone who has felt the miserable emotions that follow a fool who hides their true emotions, I say fuck it. Wear your damn heart on your sleeve. Walk around with a smile on your face, telling everyone who passes you how much they are worth. You never know who you'll save by just muttering the words "I love your smile" or "You're beautiful". No matter if you've met them before or if they're complete strangers, love them. Be a lover. Give love. Don't hide it. Why would you ever want to hide something as beautiful as love?
"I love you Louis," I whispered into his ear, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!"
"I'm so sorry Hazza!"
Finally. I've missed that name.
"I'm so, so, so sorry! I can't believe I did that! I hated hurting you Hazza! Never in my life would I ever want to hurt you! You mean too much to me!" He practically crumbled into my arms as I felt his legs go weak. I was holding him up as I pet his head and quietly shushed him.
"Lubba, please. Don't blame yourself, it was Simon."
"Oh, you heard all of that?" He looked up to me with the most heartbreaking, water-filled, eyes, shattering my soul.
I nodded.
"I'm so sorry Hazza, I shouldn't have given into the pressure, I love you too much. I should've known that I wouldn't be able to survive without you, but he said he was going to hurt you. He was going to force all of the rumors on you and I know how much that upsets you. I couldn't let him, I wouldn't." He coughed in between his cries and was obviously struggling to breathe.
"Hey, hey, shh Lubba. Breathe. Breathe. In and out."
He followed along with me as he caught his breath.
"I don't care about any of it. Not seeing you all of today made me realize that all of those things that used to bother me so much, they're stupid. I can get over those, but I can't get over not having you Lubba. So what if Simon tries to tell the world that I sleep with every woman I meet? Our fans are too special to believe a pig like him, especially when they have evidence to prove otherwise."
He cocked his shattered expression to the side, "What evidence?"
"Us Lubba. You and me. Larry Stylinson."
"You still want to go through with it? I'm scared, what if you get hurt?" He looked down at the ground, nervously.
"Then you'll be there to fix me up and I'll come back brand new. But Lubba," I lifted his chin so that our eyes met once again, "I'll be even more hurt if I can't have you. Publicly." I added.
I saw the biggest smile erupt onto his face as a tear dripped cinematically down his cheek. I wiped it away before it had a chance to detach from his flawless cheek.
"I love you Lubba."
"I love you more Hazza."
"I love you most, my sweet creature."
And then he kissed me. He grabbed my face and smashed his lips against mine. I could feel his lips soaked with tears and I was sure he could feel my tears as well. I forced so much passion into this kiss that it was no longer a kiss.
It was a promise.
A promise to always be there for him. A promise to never leave him alone. I'm not sure if he made the same promise as he licked his tongue into mine, but I didn't care. At that moment, all I knew was that I was always going to be there for Louis. I don't have a clue where this is going to lead, how long we'll be together, or what will happen to the band, but for right now, Louis was mine and I was his. And I'll always be his.
He might wake up one day and realize he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He'll find a lovely girl, come out to the world as the perfect couple, and raise a family with her, blessing the world with his gorgeous creation of children, because anything that shares even half of Louis's genetics will be stars, and he'll forget about me. He'll maybe have small flashbacks to the boy he once kissed in the middle of a forgotten town in England, or he'll remember the one time he jet skied with his best friend from his old band. Maybe even the name Hazza will pop up in his mind sometimes, but I know that no matter where I am, or what I'm doing, the name Lubba will never be able to leave mine.
And as I kissed him with all of the love I had ever generated, the sky began to open up and downpour on us. The water soaked us, flattening our hair against our foreheads, but not once did we detach lips to look around at the sudden change in weather.
My hands explored every part of his body, claiming it as my own, as he did the same. We were each other's and it only made our love grow. I opened my eyes and somehow, almost telepathically, he did the same.
His eyelashes were soaked which only elongated their already stunning length. His hair was ruffled around in a careless and most beautiful way. We slowly pulled our lips away just so we could look at each other.
He was stunning. His curls were unraveling right in front of me. His green eyes more desirable than ever. He drove me crazy. Every little thing he did. He was so perfect.
His blue eyes stared into my soul, warming my entire being. The world stopped around me and I was no longer aware of the ever-growing storm boiling up around us. It was too perfect of a moment to care about the weather.
I can't even begin to describe how I feel about the boy in front of me. The entire English language doesn't even come close to doing justice for the feelings I have for him. How can someone expect their little lousy creation of a few words to even compare to the emotions we feel. I'll never be able to put into the words how much love I have for him.
Who knew I could fall this deeply in love with someone. I didn't. I never thought I'd ever find someone whom I truly love, to the point where I can't go without them. But then I met Louis. He changed everything. He changed my life. He changed how I looked at things, he made me truly appreciate the small things in life, and he really showed me how empty I was before I had him. I never want to go back.
How do I even begin to explain what love is. It's... everything. Love is everything. Love is when you can't stop thinking about that person. You could be standing right in front of them, and you'd still miss them. Love is when you ache for their touch. It's when it gets physically painful if you're deprived of their kiss. Love is the need to be in their presence. The exigency of just being able to look at them. It's when every detail of their being mesmerizes you.
Love is when you can't keep your eyes off of them when you're in the same room. It's when everything around you seems so unimportant and irrelevant because they just sneezed and it was the most adorable sound ever created. Love is the feeling of comfort you get when you call them late at night, just to hear their voice. And you call them initially just to say goodnight, but then the conversation ends up going on for hours, composed of lovey-dovey whispers of nothing.
It's when any words that come out of their mouth are captivating and sounds so much better than when anyone else says them. It's when you fall in love with your name just because of the way they say it. It's when you analyze every little thing about them. Watching the way they blink and remembering the pattern they breathe in. It's when you can't stop replaying moments you've shared together or can't stop yourself from smiling when you think of them. It's when you can easily recite all of his favorite things and you can explain what makes The Notebook so good, even though no one else understands.
Love is when you guys can spend a whole year together, never leaving each other's side, and end up still dying for more. Love is having so many inside jokes that sometimes even your closest friends look at you odd because you keep bringing up things they don't understand.
But love is also painful. It kills. And maybe sometimes it's so easy to get mad at it, to curse it for controlling you, but then you see him, and all the pain goes away, because just his existence heals you. It's when you guys can fight, but never leave. Argue, but never hate. Scream, but never divide. Because love is too powerful to just crumble under the smallest of weights. It's too strong. If love was tangible, man would've found a way to use it to build bridges, and skyscrapers, and bomb shelters, because it's just that strong.
So as I stood staring at the beautiful creation in front of me, I could almost hear his thoughts speaking out to me, and they were in exact parallel to mine. Every thought we shared, every movement we made together, every emotion we felt in synchronous. We were one.
I can't believe at age 21, I understand what love is. How did I get so lucky? How am I able to define it when not even the wisest of men can put their finger on it? And the irony is, it's so easy. It's such a simple definition, and it's been staring at me for the past three years.
Love is Louis.
Love is Harry.
And with that we cried, as the God's around us yelled at each other and erupted in the sky. We sat there, on the soaking wet ground, feeling almost untouchable.
And as I held on to the most important thing in my life, I finally felt...
Loved.
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A/N
Ahhh, did you guys like it????
But for real, love is Larry Stylinson
What do you think Zigi's daughter is named???