Three weeks had gone by since Raye had any sort of meaningful encounter with the Paulsons. The last time she saw them was on that melancholic day Craig was finally liberated from his physical connections to the earth and to them. It almost felt like they were willfully avoiding her or something she'd assumed, feeling the brunt of the past few weeks.
The girl's mind had led her to believe that Brie's family had gotten enough of the excitement and grief that hung around her like dangling ornaments. And Raye wanted to broach the topic with Brienna so badly, but she kept it to herself. She kept her worries and evidence to herself hoping Brie would never notice the change in her behaviour, but as usual, she did. Then it became a game of hiding seek between them, resolving in Raye never truly saying what affected her and remaining disconsolate.
Raye, although elated that they'd gone three whole weeks without any surprises, felt a pang of sadness and fear crusting her heart. It squeezed and kicked her insides, leaving her bruised after watching the very people she had begun to love and care for slowly sift her out of their lives. She wasn't paranoid because she saw the way Cassie ignored her; being constantly busy to even talk to her over the phone and she saw how even Bran kept his distance.
Sometimes when she caught her mind harbouring those thoughts, Raye would chuckle, giving herself a little smack upside the head. The Paulsons weren't fickle nor petty but good people and she needed to remind herself more often than not of what they were. They only seemed distant now because they were still very much grieving for Craig. Everyone still grieved for him. It's what she told herself to feel better.
Ever since the day, Brienna had returned nothing was the same and everyone appeared stagnant. Charlie had found other things to do that occupied her time. When she did come around there was no light in her eyes, and she appeared to be this vessel controlled by a second force.
All of Brie's friends had their lives to live but came around when necessary; Christopher was slowly coming back around and for that Raye held no grudge against him.
Mia and Ava were always on her side, along with Trisha's support too, but even they kept a safe distance. The only person that Raye could've turned to, in order to express her feelings was her uncle.
Luca was her listening ear and her unlicensed therapist, helping her through the things she didn't want her fiance to know. Brienna of all people tended to ruminate until the problems ate her away and that was one of the many traits both girls shared in common. But Raye didn't want that. She didn't want Brie having to act as the bearer of her loads, she wanted to do it herself.
She was stubborn and was hell-bent on doing what she wanted, her own way. She was unhappy with how things unfurled until she gets a call that leaves her wondering if it was safe to assume they were moving forward.
. . .
"You're saying my dad wants you to go on a fishing trip, correct?" Brienna questions, eyeing the girl who stood looking down at her with puppy eyes. She'd just woken up, her messy brown hair spilling all around her. She was even rubbing her sleepy eyes, dreading the thought of leaving her cosy bed so early in the day. She bit her red lips which were even more plump than usual, watching the way it enticed her girl, noticing Brie's cute little gaze that never left her.
"Yes, it's what he wants."
"So what's wrong, aren't you going?" The girl questions quietly, her brow up in the air.
"I've done a lot of things before baby, but catching fish was not one of them. Now that he means it, I don't know and what do I even wear to such a thing?"
Raye was nervous. She'd never really spent any quality time with her father in law, where it was just the two of them without other individuals but she knew they tolerated each other and to the point where she'd say they were close enough to be pals but recent events had left her questioning their relationship.
"It's just a fishing trip baby, so nothing fancy. No suits or ties, or shoes fit for a prince to wear." Brie jokes, cutting the tension a little, causing Raye to chuckle. The older girl ends up poking her tongue out at her for fun.
"Just wear what would make you feel comfortable in all that heat."
"Okay," she nods, still awfully nervous.
"I really can't believe you've never been fishing though." Brie moves over to say, watching how the girl blushed a little. Raye was usually the experienced one in most gatherings, now she was the one with the least when it came to the task at hand.
"Both my parents died when I was pretty young and even when they were alive my papa was too busy with the mafia and my mom was busy hiding the fact that she was sick. My uncles and aunts had lives of their own and as you can see, they don't exactly do things like this."
"I could tell your nervous," replies Brie with a sly smile, causing Raye to blush yet again.
"How'd you know such a thing?"
"It's rare but when you are you do this thing where you overcompensate for it by talking a lot. Baby, I know why you've never done it yet you felt the need to recite an entire encyclopedia. Just relax, it's basically going to be you two talking and that's not something that should make you anxious."
"Judging from recent events, I have every reason to be nervous."
"There it is," Brie nods, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist. "I was wondering when you'd tell me that it still weighed heavily on your mind."
"You know I can't just forget that Craig's dead and you get-"
Brienna cuts her off, pinching her arm causing her to gasp. "Ouch! What's that for?"
"For lying to me, saying that everything was fine when you knew this was eating you up inside. And no one's forgotten anything, we're moving on Raye, it's the least we could do."
"That's hard for me to do."
"Why?"
"Because.." the taller girl pauses, mulling over what she wanted to say in her head before she decided to let it out. "Because I feel like your family is purposefully avoiding me, especially Cassie. When we went around for dinner she basically ignored me. I tried making sure that she was safe, I tried being there like you said but she won't let me in anymore. She won't even smile in my direction."
"I've seen it too but that doesn't mean that she hates you or love you any less. Craig was her world, Raye. Sure he was all of ours but she had something special that Bran and I never had with him. They were partners in crime when we were growing up, they put our parents through so. I know that right now it seems as though Cassie is mad at you but she's not. Give her time she'll come around, just show her that you're not going to be pushed to the side. They'll all come around."
"I'd do that but I'm afraid she'd tell me to fuck off," Raye answers, her eyes glossing over and Brie allows her to express herself. She knew she wasn't big on crying but if and when she did it poured.
Raye breaths in and out several times trying to calm herself down. She wasn't dramatic but had every right to be emotional. She didn't want more people hating her for the rest of her life.
"Maybe afterwards you should go talk to her, she'll listen."
She nods, issuing a tight smile.
"Alright. Now go bring us back some fish." Brie kisses Raye the way the girl usually did with her. She grabbed her cheeks and smooched them several times before planting a big one on her lips. She rubbed her back carefully, watching her troubles slowly tuck itself away.
* * *
Inevitably settling for a black tank top and ripped jeans with her usual combat boots, Raye sat beside Brian at a quiet pier on a lake, watching him put his live bait onto the hook. The early morning's sun had been in her eyes, inciting her to squint in order to keep most of the light out.
The sight of the older man handling the worms intrigued her and a few times she even picked up some to examine them closely, smiling to herself because she knew Brie would've squirmed dramatically at the sight of them if she was there.
"They go on the hook," Brian advises once he saw her stare at worms and she nods doing just that, following the man's lead quietly
Since they met some three hours before, he didn't say much. It left Raye wondering if he had brought her all the way out there in the middle of nowhere to murder her knowing no one could see and where they'd never find her body but she was overthinking it. She chuckled to herself, casting her line into the slightly dark water, waiting for the bait to lure a fish in.
Brian saw the way the young girl beside him appeared tense as minutes go by. She incessantly combed her fingers through her hair, anxiously shaking her leg and he decided now was the time to ease whatever doubts she had floating around within her mind. He leans over the side of his chair, dipping into a little cooler he cracks open, taking out a beer for her and one for himself. "Here,"
Raye glances for a second before taking the offered can, snapping the lid back and quickly taking a sip.
"So my daughter told me about what you wanted to do. About the wedding and what you wanted to do for Craig,"
She glanced at Brian, waiting for him to say he no longer approved or something much worse, but it never came. "I think that's beautiful."
"Really?" Her heart started to feel less heavy, but she was holding on because she didn't think she heard correctly.
"Why, yes. Celebrating his life along with the union between you two sounds like something any parent or loved one would want."
Sighing a breath of relief but one only she knew she did, Raye took a sip of her drink, allowing the can to linger at her lips for a second.
"I'm really sorry Mr Paulson, about everything. For endangering your family, for Craig."
"You've been apologising every time we've seen each other since it happened,"
"That's because I don't want you and your family to think it doesn't affect me or that it never did or maybe even that I've forgotten. I basically owe all of you my life, for his and for Brie."
"Then do so by moving on Rachel," was all Brian said, quickly reeling in the catch he'd made. It left Raye wondering why nothing picked at hers yet.
The older man pulls the fish that flapped around and it was a big one. "Celeste hates fish, and I can never let her see them," he says detaching the creature from his hook, tossing it into a bucket when he was done.
Raye grins, "Then why do you go fishing then?"
"I enjoy the tranquillity, the time away from people and things. Also, I love fish despite my wife hating them. I just have to prepare them myself."
"Sounds fair enough." She chuckles.
"You know, I-" Brian starts to say, pinning his grey eyes to Raye. They gazed at each other for a few seconds and the longer they did she saw how much Brienna resembled the man around the eyes. She even had his nose.
"I would like to formally give you my blessing on marrying my baby while leaving you a bit of knowledge.
I know I might've done something close when you proposed to Brienna but this is different. I wanted to talk to you because she mentioned how depressed you've been. Said you felt like it was all your fault what happened and I wanted you to know that the universe has a strange way in expressing itself. Death and danger are two very inevitable things, almost inescapable. Craig was living an unpredictable life, engaging in countless things. I'm not surprised if he would've gotten hurt despite you being around."
"We don't despise you at all, not my wife, not me, not even Cassie. If you're going to go ahead with marrying my daughter and celebrating Craig's life you need to first start by forgiving yourself for whatever you felt like you did wrong. Accept that he's gone, accept that it wasn't your fault because you didn't pull the trigger, accept that he's at rest and move on. We're all moving on, but slowly at a time.
Don't let it keep you down for too long, because after a while we start to embody and project the very things that break us. You have a good thing going with my children and I, we accept that you've changed within the last two years and we'd like to keep what we have with you going. I hope this helps."
"It does actually," Raye feels the metaphorical weight lifting itself from her shoulders. It left her chest feeling light, she felt like she could've actually breathed.
"Good, now reel that fish in,"
"What fis-" she had started to say, confused because there was no fish tugging at the end of her line but before she could've finished her sentence she felt the tug.
Her eyes lit up with joy and she quickly pulls the creature in, excited over the sight of her first catch. It flips around though and somehow slips back into the water when she took it off from the hook. The man next to her chuckled, cracking open another beer and taking a sip. He laughed at her, until she joined it, putting fresh bait onto her hook and tossing it out into the water again.
The two of them laughed and caught more than enough fish. They talked about the much-anticipated wedding, and they talked about family. In the end, Brian took Raye to meet Cassie because even he felt like they needed that talk.
When Raye saw the older girl right there at her parent's house, she gave her a soft curl of her lips, showing off her catch of the day, earning what she felt like was a genuine smile in return. To her that was progress. She knew Cassie didn't suddenly hate her but was upset and she was expected to be.
If she was going to be marrying the love of her life in the near future, she didn't want to do so with any malice or grudge being held against her and likewise. She'd had enough of hatred and what it did to people.