Just how and when Monday came to be was a mystery. In one breath it was a Friday night, then an awe inspiring Saturday evening full of good food, interesting people and new experiences, and finally Sunday. Not that Sunday was all bad, Trinity mused. It actually served its purpose by providing time to catch up with laundry and house cleaning. Even a little couch potatoing was had. All and all, the weekend suddenly, magically, ended up as one big evaporated blur. Depressing for any fantastic-weekend veteran such as herself.
Saturday night's auction kept replaying in her mind. It truly had been chalked full of revelations and experiences she was still wrapping her mind around. She felt like Cinderella with Eugenia as her fairy godmother, a deer in headlights with Dante, an elaborate painting from all the stares she received, to a teenager again with Gio and Mirabella. A stuffed teenager from having eaten too much.
The weekend's memories were a good distraction while Trinity sat uncomfortable on a vinyl couch in a small office, waiting for her new therapist. Feeling a little nervous, she had no clue how this was supposed to go. The first step was always the hardest, or so she had been told.
At the end of the day, Dante was right as intrusive as his suggestion was. She did need help. She didn't want to feel broken or think of herself in such a way ever again. It was time she started living her life. Simply going through the motions wasn't good enough. She was only twenty for heaven's sake. She shouldn't be working. She should be in college or doing both, rather than trying to pick up the pieces of her life. But she was, and so, talking with someone who didn't know her might help. Either way, she had nothing to lose. An added bonus was that the office visit was fully covered under the health insurance Dante put her on. Insurance was everything.
Trinity owed so much to Dante. He took a chance and gave her a job, a new place to live, clothes and a company car. Even food when she first moved in. It was amazing! Trinity frowned. Not really. She knew why. It was all because he was attracted to her. Did that make him selfish? It was hard to say. Especially since she told him a relationship was never going to happen.
Still. He hadn't taken any of those things away from her. But that was only because he wasn't giving up on her just yet. He asked if she would be interested in him had things been different. Of course she would be. Aside from kind, caring and generous, he was gorgeous. Who wouldn't want to be with him?
Trinity smiled to herself. Perhaps she wasn't as different from him as he was from her when it came to attraction. Her thoughts were interrupted by the therapist coming into the small room and having a seat. If Trinity had to guess, the woman was middle-aged with graying strands of curly hair at her temple. Her skirt was long and wispy reminding Trinity of a gypsy. She looked super relaxed and carefree. A small amount of tension released from Trinity's shoulders.
"Trinity Fallon?"
"Um, yes, but I'm changing my last name. If you could call me Aldi. Actually, if you could just call me Trinity?"
"Of course. It's nice to meet you. Thank you for coming in. I'm Leslie Shaw," she smiled. Her kind, blue eyes sparkled. "I read through your paperwork. It's a very tricky situation you're in, Trinity. You must feel conflicted between relief and grief."
"I'm definitely relieved." Trinity grabbed her wrist and twisted her hand around while she took in the room, having trouble maintaining eye contact. "As far as grief, I feel numb really. It's hard to believe he's gone because I moved out before he died. So, it still feels like he's alive out there."
"That must be very difficult for you to feel like you can't move on."
"It is. And, I'm not exactly sure what moving on means."
"You don't have to know what it means. There's no right or wrong definition."
The therapist moved her attention to the file in her lap. Trinity couldn't help but notice a cozy blanket draped over the woman's chair, and the elegant way she moved her papers around. Despite the ticking clock, she seemed unbothered with time.
"I noticed in your paperwork you're most recently employed by Venturi Transportation. That was before your husband's death?" She picked up a cup of coffee and sipped from it slow.
"Y-yes. I fell into the job unexpectedly actually. My boss gave me a place to stay and set me up when he figured out what David had done to me."
"How did he figure it out?" the therapist looked confused.
"He saw my injuries. He...kind of took me under his wing."
"What a kind person. You must feel very grateful to him."
"I do. It's just a little complicated."
"Oh?"
The ceiling looked interesting. Why was it so hard to look the therapist in the eye? Trinity sighed deep. "My boss made it clear to me that he's interested in me."
"How does that make you feel?"
"I told him I'm broken. That I can't. That I probably never will be right for a relationship. It, honestly, doesn't make me feel too great."
"Understandable. It's important to know you're not broken, Trinity. You can heal, but it's going to take work. Do you like this man?"
"I do. He's easy to like," a warmth spread to her belly. "He's kind and very generous. All of his employees like him too. His personal assistant seems very fond of him. I'm taking over her position because she's retiring."
"I see. Well, listen, you're entitled to live a very happy life, Trinity. There's no reason why you can't. Yes, you survived a trauma. But, it's not the end all of your life. Your healing will take time and work. In the end, it's going to be up to you. No one can force you. No one should. If your boss can't take no for an answer, I suggest you find a new job," her forehead wrinkled. "Your boss really shouldn't be hitting on you, in my opinion. Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"Not at all. He's not creepy," Trinity chuckled.
"No? Are you sure?"
"Very. He's...easy on the eyes."
"Ah," the therapist grinned. "I think there's hope for you yet, Trinity. Don't give up on yourself. Would you like to make more appointments so that we can get to work?"
"I think so." The therapist was extremely easy to talk to, Trinity reasoned.
"Excellent."
"Before I go, can I ask a question?"
"Absolutely."
"Is it bad for me to feel attracted to someone?"
"No. Not at all. You're your own person, Trinity. You make all the decisions and rules. There's no right or wrong."
-#-
The morning therapy session went by so fast. Even though it was kind of a get-to-know-you session, it felt good to go. Trinity was also happy to be back at work. It was already mid-morning, and she sat at her desk entering in data just as Ms. Jewell showed her. It was a relatively easy task, and she was glad for it. Her mind was too preoccupied for anything difficult.
Her therapist told her it was okay to feel attracted to someone. It was okay that she was attracted to Dante. Of course, she had no intention of telling anyone that bit of information. But it definitely felt relieving. It was okay, and there was no need to feel guilty. David was a monster who made her feel horrible. He hurt her, almost killing her several times. Now, he was gone. There was no way he could ever hurt her again.
Even her bad dreams were starting to lessen. It was probably because of Dante. She always thought about him before drifting off to sleep. She suspected he was the reason why she slept so peacefully. Had it not been for him, she would have been stuck in her old life riddled with nightmares.
Hell, maybe David would still be alive to this day. Not that Dante was responsible. But had she been at her old house, and never met Dante, she would have been cooking dinner for David. He would have been eager to come home for it. Maybe, he wouldn't have taken on that risky case and gotten killed. Any little circumstance could have changed her and David's paths really.
Looking around her office, which still needed decorating, she couldn't help feeling relieved. Her therapist was right. This was her one and only life where all of the decisions were hers to make along with the rules. There was no right or wrong about it. It really was a powerful thought.
If she really wanted to, she could be happy. She could have a relationship with a man. Not that she felt ready, but still. She could if she wanted to. The thought felt liberating. Her therapist was pretty good for being able to make her feel so uplifted. Good thing she made more appointments.
"Trinity!" Gio poked his head into her office.
"Hi Gio!"
"Wanna go to lunch?"
"Is it that time already?"
"Yup. I'm dying for some pizza and it's calzone day."
"Ooh. Yes. Count me in. Is Eugenia coming?"
"Are you kidding me? She's out with her supervisor. I think they're already sleeping together. Come on."
When they arrived at the cafeteria, Trinity was surprised to see how many people were in line. What the heck? By the time they got their food, the lunch hour would be over with. Her stomach growled much to her embarrassment.
"Oh my God. What gives? I should assert my authority and skip this damn line." Gio balled his shaky fists.
"Gio! Don't you dare," Trinity giggled.
"Oh, I'm daring. Come on. We'll go in through the back."
Gio grabbed Trinity's hand and pulled her through the crowds. It must be a regular thing he did, because people were yelling at him. How embarrassing!
"What good is it to work for Uncle Dante if I can't bend the rules, people?!" Gio shouted over Trinity's head causing her to duck a little.
A few empty water bottles were launched in their direction. Oh jeez. She hoped a food fight didn't break out.
"Ha! Suckers!" he shouted again tossing a bottle he managed to catch.
Trinity groaned, but then forgot her mortification when they arrived at the kitchen. Wow. There sure were a lot of calzones being prepped for baking.
"Shirley! My favorite cook. How about two calzones for your two favorite people? That blue apron looks dashing on you, by the way."
Shirley looked to be in her eighties with blue hair and crinkled skin. She rolled her eyes. "Gio, you're not supposed to be back here. And who is she?"
"She's Uncle Dante's girlfriend. So it's okay."
"Gio! No, I'm not!"
"Shh. We'll get food if she thinks you are, so shut up."
"Oh boy." Trinity rubbed her forehead.
"What did you say?"
"I said...she...is...Uncle...Dante's...girl...friend!" Gio shouted so the woman could hear him.
Was Gio for real? She never met anyone like him. If she had to guess, she'd say he was probably a class clown. She started to laugh again. She needed to hang around him more often. He really was funny.
Grabbing the tray, Gio held it up in triumph. "Alright! Calzones, dipping sauce, salads and cola! What else is there to life? I am...complete."
"You're also fat!" Shirley yelled.
"I knew you could hear me just fine, grandma!" Gio dodged a calzone Shirley whipped at his head. "Let's get out of here!"
Finding a booth, Gio slid in on one side while Trinity slid in on the other. Gio genuinely looked completely happy with his food. It was hilarious. She couldn't help herself and started to laugh again.
"What?"
"You really love food."
"Yup. Nothin' comes between me and my meals. So I have a few pounds on me? Who cares, right?"
"I don't see anything wrong with it," Trinity shrugged.
"Just you wait. You keep eating here with me, and we can be muffin-top buddies."
"Muffin-top buddies? What the heck is a muffin top?"
"Don't you know? It's when your stomach muffins out over the top of your pants."
"Oh," Trinity faltered. She must really have been living under a rock. She never heard that expression. Was she so paralyzed living with David that she missed out on everything? Even slang?
"So, I'm not gonna be around tomorrow because Uncle Dante has a huge business deal going. I always organize them. I have to act serious. It kinda sucks."
"Aww. Do you not like this work?"
"I do. It's just, I guess, ever since you started, I've been able to have a little fun. I like you, Trinity. I'm glad we're friends."
Wow. She'd never had anyone say that to her that wasn't female. This man-child sitting in front of her was her first male friend.
"I'm glad we're friends too. It's nice to be able to sit and joke around without any expectations on me."
"That must suck. I bet you always have dudes hitting on you."
"I don't know," she shrugged.
"Well, you're totally gorgeous but not my type. So you're safe."
Trinity broke out into a huge grin. "And, pray tell, what is your type?"
"Well, I love, love, love, full-figured chicks. You're, well, you're kind of a twig," Gio cringed waiting for Trinity's reaction.
She couldn't help but laugh, biting into her calzone. "I don't know," she said with a mouth full of cheesy goodness. "I keep eating with you, I might just add a little junk in the backseat."
Gio busted out laughing. "Backseat?! It's trunk. You're hilarious." His eyes closed in bliss as he devoured his calzone.
"How the heck do you eat so fast?" Trinity looked at Gio's empty plate in horror. She hadn't even eaten half of hers yet.
"Oh, I don't waste time. If I would've waited any longer, it would have cooled off. I bet your calzone is getting cold."
"Don't even think about it, mister." Trinity guarded her food. "Eat your salad."
"Boring."
"H-hi, Gio."
Gio looked up at a shy girl who stopped at their table. This girl looked to be just his type. Although, she also looked very nervous.
"Oh, hey, Sarah. How's it goin'?"
"Um, good. How are you?"
"Pretty great. It's calzone day," he pointed at Trinity's half eaten food biting his lip.
"Yeah. Oh, um, hi. Are you new?"
"I am. My name is Trinity. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you. A-are you two friends?"
"Yeah?" Gio's brow cocked as he slid his gaze over to Trinity.
"I see. Well...bye."
"Bye? Woah. She's super weird. What's up with that?" He jerked his thumb in Sarah's retreating direction.
"I think she likes you, Gio. She was trying to ask you if I'm your girlfriend."
Gio's nose wrinkled. "You think?"
"It's kind of obvious," Trinity laughed. "And don't you dare say yuck," Trinity pointed her fork at him.
"What? Yuck to you being my girlfriend or yuck to her?"
"Both."
"I wasn't even gonna say, yuck. Hey. I was wondering about something."
"Hmm?"
"Maribella really liked you and you're my friend now, so we were both kinda hoping you'd come over for dinner this weekend. My mom is supposed to be making lasagna...," Gio's expression turned thoughtful, "although, she sometimes gets lazy. Anyway, it would be kinda cool if you came. We could hang out and play video games or watch movies."
Trinity blinked up surprised. Being invited over to Gio's house was the last thing she ever expected. When was the last time she ever hung out at a friend's house? It had to have been in middle school. How fun would it be to do things like that? Another thought popped into her head.
"You live with your parents?"
"Of course I do. I'm only twenty, remember? I go to school and work. Cut me some slack, woman!"
Trinity laughed. "Sorry. Count me in. What should I bring?"
"Dessert. Let's see, do you bake?"
"Do I bake? Boy, you are in for a treat. I'll bring something that'll make me your new bff."
Gio clapped his hands together and rubbed them with an evil look on his face.
"Ew. Don't do that," Trinity fell into a fit of laughter.
Amazing. Becky had been her one and only friend throughout high school. Eugenia had become her new friend who she valued very much. But, Gio...she could tell he was going to be her very best friend.
It made her smile for the rest of the day.