|Fix-it fanfiction|Fluff|AU|No one dies|Hurt/Comfort|Self Harm|
|Way longer than this needed to be|4739 words|
!No proof reads!
|Please skip this chapter if you are struggling with Self Harm or are sensitive to this topic|
Crisis Text Line(US): 741741
Crisis Text Line(CA): 686868 or 741741 (I'm unsure which one)
Crisis Text Line(UK): 85258
Crisis Text Line(IE): 50808
Crisis Facebook: Facebook.com/crisisresponse
I'm open for those who need to talk: Ari!#5630
After getting into a fight with Aoi-chan, Yashiro is tormented by Akane-kun over phone which leads her to self harm. Amane finds her and tries to help her through what she is going through.
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It had been a series of events that led Yashiro to the very situation she was in.
Aoi and her had gotten into a huge fight, the kind of fight that she knew could destroy their friendship. At first it was just about Nene spending more time with Amane than Aoi but it soon devolved into something...worse. It only took a few admittedly regrettable sentences to slip out of Yashiro's mouth, but by the end of the conversation Aoi gave a cold glare (the type of glare Nene knew she only reserved for people who truly disgusted her) to the girl before leaving.
Apparently Akane knew about their little argument, but he had been given an incredibly biased version of it. Trying his best not to do anything too brash, he'd confronted Yashiro about the whole thing. It only took a few contradictions from her side of the story to make him decide whose side he was on (not that is was much of a debate). How dare someone upset his love and then still think themselves to be so in the right that they voch for themself in such a shameless manner?
He and a few other people who shared in his appreciate for Aoi (as well as some people he may or may not have intimated) took it upon themselves to make Yashiro pay for making Akane's beloved Aoi-chan upset.
Before class every day they would blow up Yashiro's phone with the same messages she was now looking at with tear filled eyes. It would stay persistent throughout the entire school day, no exceptions. At all hours of the day her phone would be buzzing.
It got to the point where Amane, being the protective friend he is, attempted to take her phone to look at the messages she tried to pretend weren't bothering her. Obviously he was stopped from even glancing at them and Yashiro dismissed everything by saying Aoi had invited her to a group chat with all of her friends and that they were just a really talkative bunch. It took much more convincing than either of them liked, but eventually Yugi just accepted that she wasn't letting up.
Yashiro had tried to block the numbers, but they would always get a hold of her somehow. She soon came to the realization that just blocking the numbers every time wasn't going to do anything in the slightest.
The messages themselves.. scared her. Most of them weren't even threats, but somehow they hit Yashiro exactly where it hurt. It was like they had gotten into her mind and scraped out every last insecurity before perfectly attacking and expanding upon them. Even messages relating to things she didn't even know would ever bother her made her stomach churn and tears roll down her cheeks.
This pared with the boys tripping her in the halls or bothering her after school when she had just finished cleaning the bathrooms made Nene snap.
Aoi was the first to notice when Yashiro purposefully avoided her gaze completely, not even daring to breathe the same air as she did. Even when the blue haired girl had become ready to reconcile with the her, all Nene really did was attempt to smile at her. Aoi had just taken this as an indication that her apology was accepted.. though she did see how fake Nene seemed to be.
Fake smiles, fake laughter, it all felt fishy to Aoi. But she just took this as Nene feeling awkward after their fight.
But Amane was an entirely different story.
He had noticed Nene's off behavior right after Aoi, when him and Nene were eating lunch together, which by itself is about the most natural thing in the world for the both of them. He already knew something was off the days prior but today she just seemed completely out of it. He too noticed the entirely faked smiles and laughter, but what he also noticed was how she gave no response to anything. Not even when he called her a daikon which usually got him a headbutt and a scolding of some sort, but today all she did was just continue to eat.
Yugi had already asked her if everything was fine but clearly she wouldn't let anything slide so he went unanswered.
This continued for only two days before Aoi got angry with Nene again, this time for being so fake around her. Yashiro could barely even explain herself, so Aoi just took this as a sign to leave with them still not having the issue resolved.
Everything only got worse. But she knew that her attempts at seeming normal so far weren't good enough based off of the argument her and Aoi had.
So the next day she forced herself to seem like she was right back to normal. The only thing that seemed even slightly off was the fact she was wearing her winter uniform outside of winter, but this could easily be excused by the sudden increase in mosquitoes. Another thing that Amane noticed was off was the fact that Yashiro's phone rung even more than before. But she still had her silly skull pendant, her horn clips, and her adorable daikon legs. Everything that made Yashiro so truly Yashiro. At least on the surface.
Still skeptical, Amane treated the girl with extra care and delicacy, as if she were made of glass and that she'd shatter at any moment. He teased her less and stopped bothering her during class, he had even given her a small bag of strawberry flavored sweets just to see her smile. The smile he treasured so dearly, the smile he'd kill for, the smile that made his heart flutter and his knees weak.
Still the buzzing of her phone wouldn't stop.
At first (even after Nene's explanation) when he noticed the phone buzzing he thought it was some boy and he had gotten jealous, that was up until now, up until yashiro seemed "normal". Now he was worried it was something more sinister.
When he had grabbed her wrist that day to drag her to the rooftop and eat lunch with her he noticed her pull away and he could've sworn that he heard her hissing in pain. She quickly tried playing it off as she gave him a pout and a scolding about grabbing her out of nowhere which all he could do was nod along too.
Yugi had gone to Kou about it, in fact the two boys had been voicing their worries about their cream and teal haired friend for a while at this point. All the two of them could piece together was, Yashiro and Aoi weren't talking and that was almost it. Call them stupid but both Akane and Yashiro gave no clues as to what the situation was, and even Aoi didn't know. All she said was her and Yashiro had gotten into a couple of arguments, but it became apparent that even the blue haired girl was worried too.
Nene continued to try playing it off, and for a few days she was able to convince everyone she really was fine.
Today she had taken an exam and passed which she, Amane, and Kou celebrated by drinking some strawberry soda together. Her and Aoi made up and they seemed to be having their usual banter. And Yashiro seemed to be embracing her creative side when she did some paper crafts, using a pair of scissors to make fine colorful pieces of paper into hearts and little fish and so on.
---Self Harm Warning---
Do NOT read on if you are sensitive to this topic
But this was the same day that ended in Yashiro sitting in the empty science classroom after school with a pair of scissors on her lap. Her sleeves were rolled up revealing a pair of arms that were already almost coated in injuries inflicted by her scissors.
The warm rays that shone outside the window complimented the crimson blood as they casted their light upon the closed door. Tears ran down Yashiro's cheeks as she reread every message the group of boys had sent as the sound of new messages coming in rang in her ears. At this point the sound hurt. It hurt even worse than the cuts, it hurt even worse than how her eyes stung from crying so hard that her chest was now expanding and contracting at a speed it should have never been. And she could barely stand it.
She could barely stand herself either. She had been lying to all of her friends for a month...Aoi, Kou, Mitsuba, and even and most surprisingly...Amane. Yashiro told Amane about her silly crushes, how disappointed she was about a grade she got, really just anything and everything. But this time she chose to keep it to herself. To lie.
She felt like one big lie.
Her hands grabbed her hair and she tugged at it, bringing her knees to her face and sobbing into them as she broke down. She sputtered vague apologies as she continued to pour her eyes out. She apologized for being a liar, she apologized for ever even fighting with Aoi, she apologized for taking advantage of the trust Amane had in her, and she apologized for the marks on her arms.
This was then she looked at her arms, growing disgusted with herself and what she had done. There was no way to describe how dirty she felt, no way to describe how much she hated everything about herself right in that very moment. She hated her legs, she hated her stupidity, she hated her clumsiness, she hated her selfishness, and most of all she hated her dishonesty.
The sound continued to ring into the girl's ears making her want to scream as she gripped her scissors tightly and shook violently, her chest going up and down at an unsteady rhythm.
Needing to distract herself from how much that one simple sound hurt she glided the blade across her skin, thoughts of how disgusting she was for doing this still echoing.
There was then a soft knocking. It was the door. Oh god.
"Yashirooo~, I didn't see you at cleaning duty so I did your work for you since I'm so nice! Mind if I come in to see my favorite daikon?"
Before Nene could even process the words or even the fact anyone had ever even knocked, Amane opened the door.
The cheery boy's face morphed into something of true horror as he looked at the sight in front of him. His best friend sitting on the floor of the classroom with tears streaming down her face and a bloody pair of scissors that was cutting right into her delicate skin. As his moon like eyes settled onto the dozens of cuts on her arms he ran forward.
Yashiro's scissors were thrown across the room with great vigor as Amane's eyes welled up with tears. "What are you doing!? Wh-Why would you ever...how could...Yashiro why!?" He fell to his knees as his hands grasped her shoulders roughly, forcing her to look at his distraught expression.
Nene attempted to get out of his grasp as she pulled her sleeves down to cover the injuries. "I-I'm-m fi-fine! Ple-please- just- believe mm-me! le-let- lemm-lemme go!"
Tears rolled down Yashiro's face as the one's welling up in Amane's eyes threatened to seep out. Yugi's grip tightened as Nene struggled and he looked at her desperately while Yashiro tried doing anything possible to get him away from her. But in the end they both knew that after what Amane just saw he could never leave her side.
"Tell me what you were just doing, what did I just see on your arms!? Why did you have a pair of scissors to your arm!?" Amane's tone was filled with worry and anger as he tried to deny what he had just seen.
"Wh-wh-why-- do yo-you care!?"
The words hit Amane in a way he couldn't describe. The boy was largely quiet, occasionally snarky, but he was always a seemingly well mannered kid to all of the other students if not a bit strange. But around Yashiro he was free and careless. He was perverted and overly protective, possessive even. Couldn't she tell how different he treated her, and if she did, couldn't she tell why?
They're friends. Best friends. For six years in fact.
And she asks him
why he cares about the fact she cut herself.
why he cares about the fact his Nene Yashiro cut herself.
All he could do was give a pained expression as he was left in shock, completely baffled by the words that had just spilled out of Yashiro's chapped lips. "Why do I care...? What do you mean why!? You know why..we're best friends. I've always been your best friend, since day one haven't I?"
"So!? I kno-know you to-oo-ok pity on mm-me! You fel-felt-t bad about the ugly hor-horsera-ra-radish that m-mo-oved to the house next over that y-you forced yourself to b-be fri-frien-friends- with h-"
"Why do you think that!? I would never do that to you. Yashiro you were my first friend, my first best friend, when I promised you that I'd stay by your side no matter what I meant that. and...I know you know that I meant that..." He brushed Yashiro's hair behind her ear, showing a simple metal earring with a small rocket ship hanging from it on a tiny silver chain. "...You have the charm to prove it."
It was the same rocketship charm that Amane wore proudly on his bookbag, linking the two of them and proving their friendship to everyone outside of their closely knit circle.
Feeling the guilt of the awful accusation she had made regarding her best friend she reluctantly complied with Amane and showed him her arms as a way of answering his questions. Yugi gently took her arm into his hands as he examined every injury with a face of true terror before he carefully let go ending in Nene pulling down her sleeves, immediately regretting her choice and beginning to panic again.
"Who made you do this?...Was someone putting messed up thoughts in your head!?"
Yashiro just gave zero response as if she couldn't even hear him above the screams of the demons in her head. The girl squirmed violently as she continued to cry, her throat completely sore from all of the loud sobbing. Nene was still apologizing, screaming the words as if the louder she was the easier it would've been to just escape the situation.
A few tears rolled down his cheeks as Amane watched his best friend's violent suffering. He couldn't stand this. He would have rather died a million times then have to watch this. Yugi couldn't stand the love of his life sobbing and screaming at the top of her lungs as her arms were coated in injuries. All he could do was whisper sweet nothings to help guide Nene out of the storm, things like, "It's not your fault, I'm not mad, we can get through this together, I'm here, I'm right here".
After a few minutes of Yashiro's violent sobbing she managed to slump against the wall, her crying now weaker, almost like the terrifying breakdown sapped her of all of her energy leaving her with only her raw emotion.
Amane then repeated the question, this time more gently.
All Nene could do in response was look at the floor defeatedly, her sobbing only growing more intense. Amane's protective glare pierced Yashiro's weak and watery gaze as he adjusted her head to look at him by cupping her right cheek with his now trembling hand. It's when Yashiro feels this tremble that she realizes that Amane is just as scared as her. With this sudden realization pulling at her heart she gained the will to comply, earning Yugi a weak nod confirming his suspicions.
"Who is it, who did this..?" Yashiro's phone then buzzed.
Oh.
Oh.
He should've known all along. Of course it's whoever was spamming his best friend with texts.
Amane quickly took the device. Due to the fact his thumb print was saved in the phone he was able to get in with ease, and what he saw baffled him. Thousands of messages spanning for about a month simply degrading, putting down, cursing out, and even threatening Yashiro. Some of them were the same insults Hanako had heard people making slyly while he and her walked down the halls, and some of them were so bad that he felt sick just reading them. He knew things could potentially get nasty when he heard that Yashiro and Aoi got into such a large fight but he was enraged at how far Akane went. It only took a few minutes of reading before he finally got the jist and he shut the phone off, lightly tossing it away from the two of them.
After a few moments of silence with Amane trying to process what was happening and Yashiro simply being too afraid to speak it was her who broke the silence with a pathetic whine in her voice. "I-I'mm...so so-o so-sor-r-ry.."
She covered her face with her hands so he wouldn't need to look at her pitiful state and in response Amane delicately gripped her wrists in a way he hoped didn't hurt her and separated her hands from her face before asking a simple question. "Why didn't you tell me...?" his voice was dry and hoarse making it clear that he was trying to mask whatever he was truly feeling.
When silence was followed after the question Amane trembled slightly. Maybe he should've been more specific? When reviewing this he realized saying "Why didn't you tell me about these boys who harassed you?" or "Why didn't you tell me about the fact you were cutting?" seemed like things that would only make Yashiro cry more.
"Was it my fault for not catching on..?"
After that sentence Amane just shut his eyes tightly as if he were afraid of what Yashiro would have done in response to a question like that. Those same eyes were then forced open when Yashiro rested her forehead against his.
"Not-nothin- your fua-fu-fualt.." The sentence was broken up and choppy due to the hiccups and sobs in between, "I-I knew y-yo-ou wo-would be up-upset i-if you knew..I didn-didn't wanna d-do th-tha-that to y-you...I cou-couldn't..."
"So you just cu- did this!? Wh-why did you think this would be better!?" Amane rolled up the girl's sleeves in order to show her what she had done to herself so then she could realize the gravity of the situation.
Yashiro did nothing to stop him as her tears dripped down her face. "I-I'd rather hur-hurt me than hurt you.."
Amane gave her a pained expression as he fought back against tears. "That's insane! You know you can tell me anything...you know I'd never want you to do this to yourself..don't you know how important you are to me!?"
Yashiro looked at him, trying to deny every word. She tried telling herself he was lying, the demons in her head screaming the same messages she had been receiving for little over a month now. But when she looked past the tears to see into Amane's eyes all she could see was genuine worry and care. It was the same look he'd give to tell her that he was there and that he wasn't going anywhere. And it was the same look that broke her blackened trance and helped her see clearly, to realize what she had done and what she had been doing fully causing her to sob painfully with wide eyes, this time more sorrowful than violent and desperate. These were tears of pure regret.
Yugi wrapped his arms tightly around the sobbing girl as if he were hugging the sadness out of her. Amane fisted the girls uniform, desperately trying to fully engulf her in his embrace as if she would disappear at any moment. Yashiro felt safe in this embrace, feeling herself melt in his arms as she rested her head in the crook of Yugi's neck and sobbed uncontrollably. The girl's arms were weakly wrapped around Amane.
The two of them stayed like that for a while. In each other's arms with Yashiro trembling and crying softly while Amane rubbed her back in soothing circles, trying to calm the girl down. Amane's shoulder was soaked in tears and the back of his shirt had small spots of blood that he knew would no doubt stain the fabric, not that he minded in this exact moment. One of Yugi's hands ended up in Nene's hair, combing through that cream and teal colored silky strands.
Amane inhaled deeply though his nose finding that all he could smell was blood and Yashiro's strawberry shampoo. He had ended up burying his head in Nene's hair so that the only thing he would smell was sweet and crisp strawberries.
All he had wanted to do today was come into the classroom to see Yashiro writing in her journal or watering her beloved tomato plant before he teased her about her owing him donuts for not showing up to cleaning duty. She would've bought him donuts despite the fact he was joking and they would've gone to the park and played until the moon came up. He would've taken her to a grassy hill and pointed at each star relaying facts about space that he knew by heart. She would listen on like how she always did while finding some way to make him laugh in the middle of his rambling.
But maybe, if this kept Nene from hiding something like this in the future, or even thinking about doing something like this in the future, this was more preferred.
Yashiro gave a small surprised squeak when Amane ultimately decided to pick up the girl and carry her to the infirmary. It didn't take long to get there and the banter the two of them did have was short and almost nonexistent. The only sounds Yugi could hear was the muffled sobs of Nene as she trembled in his arms, fisting his uniform and crying into his chest.
Once they reached the office Amane set Yashiro on one of the beds gently before walking away to get medical supplies. To his surprise Yashiro went right with him as she gripped onto his shirt which was now soaked due to all of the crying. Yugi didn't object to this and he simply grabbed the things he needed as the sniffling girl hung on him. Once he had gotten what he needed, Amane walked back to the bed and sat on it before patting the spot next to him as a way to tell Yashiro to sit by him which she does.
It was when Amane was patching Yashiro up that one of them decided to break the silence. "How are you feeling..?"
Yashiro looked at Yugi as she tried to catch her breath, "Better." Her voice was hoarse and dry as she touched her face to feel the dried tears.
"Do they still hurt...?" Yugi asked this delicately, hoping it wouldn't upset her.
Nene nodded. "Sometimes when my sleeve touches my arm it stings, but it mainly just hurts when I move my arms too much."
Amane nodded understandingly. "Are there more..?"
Yashiro shook her head quickly and Yugi hummed skeptically in response.
"Can I stay over in order to make sure you're safe tonight?" The space obsessed boy looked at her with worried eyes which softened once she nodded.
"I...don't want to be alone so I'd like you to stay...thanks." Yashiro gave him a weak smile before Amane finished bandaging her right arm.
Yugi gently took Nene's left arm into his hands and began to treat the wounds on it. "Alone? Aren't your parents home?"
The daikon girl shook her head. "They've been gone for a week in order to do some business abroad. I've been home alone before so they trust me and they're going to probably be back in another week or so."
Amane looked at her worryingly once he realized this meant there'd be no one to keep her safe. "Do you mind if I stay until they come back?"
Yashiro nodded immediately as Amane gave her a kind smile.
"You know..." Yugi decided to pick up some more discussion due to knowing Yashiro didn't like long silences, "...we were all really worried about you. Me, Kou, Mitsuba, Akane-chan..."
Nene looked at him worryingly, "Do you think we should tell them about this...?"
"Do you think we should?" Amane gave a small sigh when all Yashiro did in response was shrug, "Well...I think we should tell them at some point, but only when you're ready alright?"
She nodded softly. "Are you going to tell Tsuchigomori-sensei?"
"Oh definitely. Don't worry, he won't tell your parents, but he can help a lot more than anyone else." Amane spoke with some form of confidence in his voice, despite the 'he won't tell your parents' bit being a lie.
"Mm...that's alright I guess...though I'd say that you're helping a lot." Nene gave Yugi a grateful smile as the boy looked up at her bashfully before looking back down at what he was doing.
After Amane was done treating Yashiro's wounds he carefully felt her shoulders, thighs, and any other areas where she could have afflicted more harm. Nene understood why he was doing what he was doing so she just sat patiently before the boy nodded to himself. He looked back up at the girl with a small satisfied smile.
"I guess you really weren't lying when you said you hadn't cut anywhere else..good. Sorry if it made it seem like I don't trust you, I just...needed to be sure." Amane let out a melancholic laugh.
"I know you trust me..." Yashiro moved her hair to reveal her earring just like Yugi had done before, "...I have the charm to prove it after all."
Yashiro gave Amane a smile that he could see wasn't forced and his eyes started to well up with tears once more. The boy threw his arms around Yashiro, struggling not to cry as he felt Nene wrap her arms around him.
"I-I'm so sorry...that I didn't know about this before...I should've known the moment you started wearing your winter uniform..." Tears slowly seeped out of Amane's golden eyes.
Nene smiled softly, nuzzling her face into his chest, "It's okay...you couldn't have known. I should've told you...I should've told you everything. This isn't your fault Amane..."
For a few minutes they just stayed like that. Amane's face being buried into the crook of Yashiro's neck, the scent of her hair filling all of his senses as he sobbed, leaving Nene's shoulder drenched. They fisted the fabric of each other's uniforms and kept each other as close as possible.
Yugi pulled himself together after a small bit as he looked at the girl in his arms, who of which he loved with all of his heart. Nothing could describe the way he had felt the moment he stepped into the classroom. The worry, the anger, the confusion, nothing could describe any of it. He wasn't even sure if he'd be able to help or how he'd confront Akane.
Yugi's brows furrowed when he realized Akane's contributions to this entire situation... he'd need to deal with that sooner than later. Nene noticed Amane's tightened grip and she looked up at him with a soft smile.
"Let's go tell Sensei...and then let's go home. I'm getting hungry and I made strawberry rice cakes for after school!"
Amane stared at her for a bit before nodding. The two stood up and slowly walked out of the infirmary, hand in hand. Their eyes were puffy and red from all of the sobbing, dried tear marks visible on their face. Yashiro's sleeves were still rolled up, the slightly bloody bandages being fully exposed as they told Tsuchigomori, who was visibly worried.
After a phone call and a bit of explanation the two walked to Yashiro's house, a brighter day ahead.
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This story felt so refreshing ngl
I found maybe two self harm Hananene fics, which made me A. feel better about my own experiences, and B. helped me relate to the characters more.
Once again, for those who might've been triggered or just need this here are the Crisis lines:
Crisis Text Line(US): 741741
Crisis Text Line(CA): 686868 or 741741 (I'm unsure which one)
Crisis Text Line(UK): 85258
Crisis Text Line(IE): 50808
Crisis Facebook: Facebook.com/crisisresponse
I'm open for those who need to talk
Sorry for those who are only really here for fluff, but I think a mix of both angst and fluff was really needed, and if I'm being fully honest I wish there were more fics like this one shot. Self-harm hurt/comfort is a really big comforter to me, so I'm sure this means I'm not the only one.
I'm sure you noticed that this is going to be a multiple part story, but don't worry! The other parts are gonna be completely packed with fluff and just Yashiro getting better and coping. Because I feel like that's the thing that some fics like this can miss, the actual getting better part, the part that shows real people who struggle with this sort of stuff that you can improve and recover. And being someone who has in fact struggled with this exact thing, I feel like I'm in some sort of position to help the people who needed this fic.
Please stay safe everyone, I'm here for you always! I adore you all and I hope you have an amazing day! Thank you for reading and just existing, and I hope you all stay completely safe! Remember that requests are still open as well!
See you all in the next one shot, bye!