𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
You stared at your three-year-old with squinted eyes. He stared back at you, his e/c eyes twinkling with mischief.
"Say ahh," you opened your mouth once again as an example.
Your three-year-old giggled but shook his head in refusal.
You huffed, feeling tired. For the past quarter of an hour, you had been trying in vain to feed your little boy. The toddler kept throwing out any of the baby food that could enter his cute little mouth.
"Madam, the master is asking for you to come down to the living room."
You looked back at your maid, nodding.
"I see. Please feed him for me, Maria. Be gentle."
The mousy maid nodded, an insincere smile on her face as she gazed at your leaving figure with watchful eyes. She looked back at the baby food you left behind, causing her to furrow her brows with a frown.
As you were climbing down the last steps of the ornately decorated spiral staircase, the living room came into view, along with your husband. You smiled as you walked up to him before taking a seat beside the dark-haired man on the plush white sofa.
"How did the meeting go, Jan?" you asked, leaning against him and gently placing a hand on his thigh. He wrapped an arm around you in return.
"It went pretty smoothly. Banri has proven himself to be quite capable."
Your husband's husky voice vibrated through his chest, causing a contented purr to escape from your mouth as you nuzzled up against him further. Jan patted your head with a small smile.
"I told you to believe in him, didn't I? First impressions are often wrong."
You paused before continuing, "Like when we first met, I thought you were a total snob."
Jan raised a dark thick brow at you, a mischievous light glinting swimming in the shimmery, silvery pools of his eyes.
"Is that right? So you ignored me at first because of that assumption?"
You giggled in response.
"That and because you are way too handsome."
Jan looked adorably confused at your words, his eyes prompting you to continue.
"Handsome husbands just bring trouble. Once a guy is balding and fat, no woman will come his way unless he's offering them money or something..." you mumbled.
Your husband smiled sardonically, causing you to pout.
"So you want me to be fat and balding? Is that why you keep trying to make me overeat? And also why you pull my hair so hard when we ma-"
"Jan!" you exclaimed, placing your hand against his lips to stop him from completing the sentence. Your face immediately burned red with embarrassment.
Jan's far bigger hand clasped your wrist before removing it gently, a devilish grin on his face. He leaned forward, lips next to your ear as he whispered, "I'm not lying though, am I, sweetheart?"
You sputtered out an ineligible response that went ignored by the ravenette, who instead squished your cheeks.
"I love it when you blush."
A bright grin replaced the suggestive smirk before he swooped down to place a peck on your lips before winking.
"Don't worry, pumpkin. I'll never cheat on you, whether I'm handsome or not. You're the only one for me."
You stared up at him with a playfully skeptical look, knowing it would annoy him.
Just then, a cough brought both of your attention to the maid standing a few feet away.
"Master, madam, lunch has been prepared."
You coughed to clear up the suddenly awkward air before sitting up straight.
"Did Rino eat his lunch?"
The maid exchanged a glance with your husband before quickly nodding.
"The young master is napping at the moment, madam."
Jan stood up clearing his throat before gruffly stating, "Let's eat, Y/n. I remember you skipped breakfast this morning."
Before you could say anything, one of his hands snaked around your wrist, pulling you up before leading you down the lavishly embellished halls with richly colored oil portraits of your husband's ancestors and, like always, you cast an admiring gaze upon them.
One day, your little family would be on those walls as well.
"Jan?"
"Yes, my sweet?" The dark-haired man turned to glance at you, his pace remaining unchanged.
"When will you get our portrait done?"
The man raised a brow at your statement, eyes boring into your face as he said, "Did you forget? We have one on the East wing."
"No... I meant one of us and Rino. We don't have any with him yet."
Your husband suddenly huffed, a look of anger flashing across his face as he looked away.
"He's too young."
"He's three Jan! It's not like he's a newborn for goodness' sake."
"Three is still too young. Drop this subject, Y/n."
You immediately shut up, noticing the tightly clenched jaw of your husband. You didn't know why but Jan sometimes got livid with certain benign things, most pertaining to your son.
The smell of chicken and fried rice assaulted your nose as you both entered the glittering green and blue-tiled dining room with gold accents and, while your stomach growled with hunger, a strange feeling of nausea arose within you.
Jan pulled out a chair for you like he always did and you quickly thanked him as you took your seat. You eyed the dishes before frowning slightly.
"Oh, I almost forgot to mention," Jan suddenly mentioned in the middle of your quiet meal.
You looked up at him with curious eyes.
"I've got us tickets to the play tonight."
Your eyes widened before you brightly smiled. A pink hue stained Jan's cheeks as he stared at you with a genuinely warm smile.
"Really?! You should have said earlier! I have to check out what dress I can wear."
To say you were excited was an understatement. Jan had been keeping you under lock and key for such a long time now, a night out in town was exactly what you have been craving for a while.
Jan grinned sharply as he stirred his soup.
"No need for that. I've ordered your tailor to prepare a new one. It should have arrived by now."
A rush of excitement caused you to almost leave your chair before you were once again pulled back to your almost-vacated seat by his vice-like grip
"Eat first. You have barely taken a bite, Y/n."
You huffed before slowly taking a spoonful of the lukewarm vegetable soup.
Jan watched you carefully, none of your movements and minute expressions escaping his gaze.
"Why aren't you eating the rest of the food? The soup alone isn't enough, sweetheart."
You scrunched your face in distaste as you eyed the admittedly delicious-looking chicken glazing under the natural light of the room.
"It's making me feel nauseous..." you mumbled under your breath, which Jan heard nevertheless.
"...Nauseous? Why didn't you say so earlier? Are you feeling anything else?" Jan looked both surprised and flustered, quickly placing a cool hand on your forehead in concern.
You shook your head.
"No, it's just the smell that's bothering me."
Your husband observed you for a moment, his silver eyes glimmering with hints of inner contemplation that was wholly out of your reach. You stared at him in expectation, face innocent.
Jan breathed out before loudly summoning a servant.
"Take away the meat dishes. Bring some vegetable side dishes instead, and plain white rice."
The servant quickly heeded the order, expertly removing the offending dishes from the mahogany table and onto a silver tray, before rushing out of the room with swift feet.
Silence returned to the room once more and you leaned back on your chair, having given up hope to finish off the cooling soup. Jan perched his head onto a fisted hand while the other reached out to you, pulling your hair behind your ear before giving a playful tap to your dangling sapphire earring. A moment later, his thumb began to rub soothing circles on your cheek.
You smiled mischievously at his action.
"Forgetting your table manners, Mr. Jan? I wonder what your mother would say if she saw you being this naughty."
A snicker left his lips as he continued with his actions.
"Who cares? It's just us anyway."
You smiled. The Jan you saw was so much more uninhibited than the Jan the outside world saw, a man who was supposedly stern, business-like and cultured, never showing anything more than a pleasant disposition.
Yet you saw so many sides of him; he was surprisingly emotional at times, openly displaying instances of both anger and joy, sadness and irritability, and everything else in between. It was a little much at times but really, who else did he have around with whom he could be open and vulnerable?
You gently placed a hand on his one, squeezing it.
Jan's lustrous grey eyes gazed deeply into yours and your e/c eyes met him willingly in return.
It was quiet moments like this that fluttered your heart the most.
"I adore you, Y/n."
Your cheeks flushed all over again at the sweet words you had heard so many times before.
"So do I, Jan."
Your husband smiled one of his rarer smiles, a soft, almost shy one and it had something inextricably boyish about it. It was the antithesis of the sometimes sharp, wolfish personality he possessed.
The moment seemed to last an eternity until, upon registering the footfalls of oncoming servants, the intimate scene halted to a pause. Once the new batch of dishes was expertly laid out on the table, Jan quickly picked a little of everything onto a clean plate before turning to you.
A moment later, a piece of yellow-green squash attached to a silver fork hovered near your mouth.
You raised a brow before shaking your head in mild amusement and defeat, opening your mouth to receive it.
Jan smiled at your compliance, continuing to feed you until you finished everything on the plate.
After taking a sip of water, you finally stood up, stretching your arms.
"Rino must be up by now," you murmured, quelling a yawn as you did so.
The sudden loud sound of a chair being forcefully pushed off the table quickly brought your attention to your now standing husband. A curious combination of a scowl and disbelief played on his handsomely fashioned face and before you could form a word, he muttered, "You seriously-" before abruptly cutting himself off.
He breathed out harshly before his agitated expression was schooled into a calmer one. He looked at you, his eyes suddenly taking on a look of pity as he found your widened ones on him.
"Pumpkin, spend some time with me, won't you? I'm sure that boy is still asleep."
You glanced at him helplessly.
"Jan, you know he's always in a playful mood at this hour. He doesn't have any playmates yet, so I have to do my part. You can join us, you know," you finished with an inviting smile.
Your husband's lips set into a thin line as his sharp, dark eyebrows furrowed in vexation.
"Y/n... you do realize, we are a married couple, right?"
Your mind blanked out at his unexpected words.
"...What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means we're supposed to be spending our time as one. And you are failing at it as my wife, even though I am trying," Jan testily replied.
"What? Are you seriously saying we're not spending enough time together?" You sharply asked with a look of disbelief as red hot anger suddenly flared up inside you.
"Jan, we have a child to look after. You may not be as keen to be a father yet, but I am not like you. I want to play an active role in Rino's life as his mother, not leave the responsibility of his upbringing in the servants' hands!"
Your husband looked back at you with almost an equal amount of fury, a tight grimace on his unmarred countenance.
"Rino this, Rino that! When the hell are you going to-" Jan cut himself off for the second time of the day, shakily running a pale hand through dark strands of hair as he heavily breathed in and out.
After a few tense seconds, as you continued to seeth inside, Jan turned his back to you.
"6 in the evening. I want you waiting in the courtyard."
With those sharply spoken words, he left, not once looking back at you.
You huffed, walking off in the opposite direction. Jan could be such a man child at times. You were beginning to worry if he would ever make for a good father figure in Rino's life.
It of course wasn't that Jan didn't have good characteristics, you wouldn't have married him if he didn't, it was just that most fathers, as well as mothers belonging to the nobility didn't actively raise their children and it was increasingly clear Jan was one of them.
He had been unhappy, you were aware when you first became pregnant with Rino, complaining that it was too early for you to have children, that you were essentially ending your time together as a couple, which was immediately refuted on your part as him being ridiculous.
Perhaps some soon-to-be fathers were so riddled with anxiety that they acted obnoxiously like that; Jan was one.
As a young girl, you remembered promising to yourself that if you ever had children of your own, you would play the part of a mother sincerely and devotedly.
It was a desire borne from the lonely nights you had spent at your large, lavishly furnished home with absent parents and indifferent servants. You would never wish for your children to grow up lonely and unloved.
You knew Jan grew up companionless like you, it was what had initially attracted you to him, you could see it in his eyes whenever you had dared to steal glances at his striking form.
Despite being surrounded by many equally affluent friends with similar childhoods as an adult, Jan still was a helpless, abandoned child at heart.
Your crossed expression softened as you remembered how he had begged you to love him, to never leave his side because you "should take responsibility for unforgivingly stealing" his heart. His quivering voice still reverberated in the recesses on your mind.
It was the first time he dared to be so vulnerable in front of another soul, as he had later explained. You felt privileged to be the only person to see this raw side of him, to see the unrefined emotions of a man who was too good at hiding them.
You sighed as you once again realized that Jan was just a man who wanted to always feel loved by his wife. It explained the clinginess, the constant need for reassurance that, yes, you love him very much.
The thought led you to chastise yourself for being too harsh with your words at times. You had to remember where he was coming from.
Before you realized it, you were once again before the egg white door of the nursery room. With a gentle click, you opened it, smiling instantly upon seeing the tiny, pudgy hands grabbing at the air.
"How long have you been awake, my love?"