[Yena's POV]
How did we even end up like this? Is this all just because of me?
If Yujin didnt meet me would she have died that day. If Yuri never saved me would she still be that complicated. Would Chaewon be the person that she is now? What would've happened if I just died that day?
Would their problems all go away? I just wish that it would. What if-
"Yena unnie, which car are we using?" Chaewon said as she went to me. Right, I was so into my thoughts that I forgot about the funeral. "My car, i'll drive"
She shaked her head and took the keys from my hands. "I'll drive" and then she went to the drivers seat. I sat next to her and just sighed.
"It's still weird, dont you think?" She's trying to lighten up the mood. Both of us are scared of going.
I blame myself for the accident while she blames herself for the operation. We're both grieving in our own way. She's just better at hiding it.
"We dont have to go, if you dont want to" I said as she still focused on driving pretending to not hear me. "We can go when it ends"
"That wouldnt make us good friends, wouldnt it?" She giggled as I just smiled at her. "Good point"
"We have to be there for her ... until the end" I nodded and silenced myself. I cant imagine this scenario of going to a friend's funeral. I always imagined how they would act in mine.
We arrived at the place as we sat with our other friends. There were a lot of people and i'm not even surprised. Most people here are probably friends of her parents. I bet they didnt even know Yujin's existence before this.
There were only a few familiar faces. Our friends, her family and Wonyoung plus her friends. I think the others are her friends from school. But i'm not really sure.
"Yena unnie, what are you doing?" Tomi said as I quickly faced at her. "Nothing" She shaked her head and gave me a smile.
"You're staring at almost everybody. It's like you're looking for something" I'm looking at people, is that weird. I just wonder what their role in Yujin's life was.
"Or maybe someone" here we go again. I just shaked my head and looked elsewhere. "She already came" I nodded and pretended to not care.
They were about to say something but someone came to the front which stole our attention. Yujin's parents talked about their daughter (obviously). They said a few words about her and even showed a video of her throughout the years. Her parents really love her, they were always there when she needed them.
I cried a little after hearing their speech and watching the video about my dear friend. Yujin ... she was loved. The world made a mistake of taking her away.
Then it was time for a few adults to say their prepared speeches. It was all the same ...
"She was such a good girl"
"Yujin will be greatly missed"
"She's in a better place now"
It all makes sense since other people just come here to comfort the family. It was like they had a script on what to say.
Next up was her friends, I dont want to speak in front since i'm not sure if i'm worthy of doing that. A few people came up to speak first. They were friends from school and a few people that I havent met before. They all said good things and how they were sad she was gone.
I wonder what my funeral would be. Would people even go? I think my parents would invite their friends that I have never seen before. Then my classmates from elementary to high school would probably go. They ostracized me and we were never close, so I wonder what they would even say. My friends would say a lot of stuff but i'm not sure what. I hope what they say would be the truth and not just what people wanted to hear.
Hitomi and Chaeyeon came up first. We agreed that we would go in pairs Hyewon and Kkura unnie then Chaewon and me.
They told everyone all our wild adventures before. I could see that they wanted to pour all their tears out but they tried to hold it back. Both of them are crying and unable to continue saying anything.
What they said was enough. They said things about what Yujin meant to them and not just ... "she was a good person". Hyewon and Chaewon pulled them to the side and made them sit.
Kkura unnie went up with ... not Hyewon, but Eunbi unnie. I almost forgot that they were also friends with Yujin. All of them came ... except for her.
Everyone said what they had to say. Then it was finally time for Hyewon and Minju. Hyewon might be smiling right now but inside she's so broken about Yujin.
It was normal for us to cry. All of us cried. I have no idea how people would go in front and say something about a dead person without crying.
Chaewon and I went in front, All eyes were on us. I could feel that she was nervous. Her hands were sweaty and her body was shaking.
"I ... killed Yujin" That was her first line. People were surprised of course. Chaewon was in tears and you could feel the shaking from her body.
"She died because I couldnt save her ..." Chaewon told the story of how she failed to save Yujin. It was brave of her to tell everyone the story. After that, she told them about our fun times with her. How it felt like tine would pass so quickly.
It was my time to speak. Chaewon didnt cause this, I did. "I went paragliding with her" I could feel all their stares. They're thinking and making assumptions.
"It was her first time being pilot. Her face literally lit up when she head about it. She was so happy ..." I told them our last days. And how we did these activities before she left. I gave a glance at her parents but they gave me this warm smile.
That simple smile made my knees feel weak and me cry. At least I know that they dont blame me for everything.
It was Wonyoung's time to speak. She was the last person that Yujin called that day. I heard her say that they have this promise or smth.
"Ummmm ... Yujin unnie may be gone but I can still feel her presence" Her eyes were already red and you could tell that she cried all night. She said told us how she and her would go to school and do this and that. She told us their lovely friendship.
"This was her letter written for me. But I think people need to hear this.
Wonyoung-ah,
I'm sorry that I wont be with you the whole summer but I promise that i'll make it up to you. It's just that my friends need me right now and I have to help, you understand right?
I know you would but as a down payment you can take one of the stuffed toys that I own. Only one!
But just in case I dont get back early. Remember that i'll always be with you. Even if i'm not physically here, i'm here. You can always talk to me. Dont do something you'll regret, I wont be there to help you.
See you!
She's still here even if she's not"
///////////
After the funeral, all of us went out and decided to go for a drink. All of us are in legal age so ...
"I will pay for everything" they all looked at me with their puffy eyes as they gave me a small smile. I can never forgive myself for Yujin's death but i'll try to make my life worthwhile for her.
Thoughts about Yujin and the funeral still visited my head. I can still remember her smile that day.
"Unnie, I never felt so alive" the wind was slapping our bodies. It was one of our best experiences. Well ... until it wasnt.
"Let's enjoy the night and try to make ourselves feel better" I can never imagine Chaeyeon saying that but she did. Chaewon wouldnt even drink before but I guess we're all grieving at this point.
I already felt dizzy after one bottle. They were talking about something but I have no idea what it was. I gave a glance at the side. And it was ... Yuri?
"Yah, Yuri isnt there!" Hyewon shouted she already had three bottles so ... yeah. But that doesnt mean that she can push me around and shout at me!
"WHO CARES ABOUT HER ANYWAYS!?" I smiled to myself and looked at my friends. I'm pretty sure that Eunbi unnie was now crying while saying Yujin's name. Others were mumbling stuff that I couldnt understand.
"Oh yeah, then ... you cant read this letter!" She stuck her tongue out and shaked her body, teasing me. Letter? I tried to stand up and make my way to Hyewon.
"Gimme the letter!" She shaked her head. "Yuri gave it to me!" She tried to stand up but ended up falling from her chair.
"That's not for you!" She still held onto the letter while laying on the floor. I cant believe this woman ... aigooo.
Our friends were looking at us but no one really stopped us. Hyewon and I had this weird fight about the letter.
Until I finally got it. I was only the floor as I tried to open my eyes to read the letter.
"What does it say?" Hyewon shrugged as she rested her head on the chair. "My head hurts ahahahh"
The letter was finally in my hands. This will be the last time that I will hear about her. I'm moving on and just leaving her just like what she wants. I opened the letter and to my surprise ...
It said:
私を忘れて
さようなら
I may be a bit drunk but I perfectly understood what it said. It told me to run.