Fade in to Church
Church: "You guys can't just show up here and start bossing people around, Tex. Bossing people around is my job. I put in the time."
Tex: "Me, Alaska and his alien friend had to leave, we found Wyoming."
Church: "Yeah, Tucker told me, what happened?"
Tex: "I thought we tracked him back to O'Malley. But, by the time me, Alaska, Aur'an and York got there-"
Church: "York- your guys old freelancer buddy? Was Carolina with him?"
Alpha: "..."
Tex: "She was already dead. Also, she's a sensitive topic to Alaska. Don't bring it up."
Church: "Oh, sorry..."
Alpha: "It's...fine."
Caboose: "And what about Bermuda?"
Church: "That's not a State, dumbass."
Caboose: "Portland?"
Church: "Shut up!"
Tex: "But he still had Delta."
Church: "Delta; the A.I.? How? I thought they took them- wait a minute, wait a minute, how was he even still alive? Aren't we hundreds of years in the future?"
Tex: "I thought it was because of his armor. You know all the freelancer suits had some kind of enhancement."
Church: "Right, like your guys invisibility."
Alpha: "I also have temporal distortion."
Church: "I thought that brute dude in white was the only one with it?"
Alpha: (Shrugs) "I found a extra one."
Tex: "York's was some kind of healing mechanism. It would help him recover from wounds in battle. I thought it might have kept him alive all these years. But after I found Wyoming, I knocked him out and downloaded logs from his helmet. There's somethin' going on, Church, with a lot of people working against us."
Church: "Well what did Wyoming say when he woke up?"
Tex: "He didn't, before we could interrogate him, he teleported away. One second he was there, and the next he was gone."
Caboose: "What about the second after that?"
Tex: "Can I kill him?"
Alpha: "No, Tex."
Church: "No, I'm saving him in case we ever need him for food. So, Wyoming's armor lets him teleport?"
Tex: "I don't think so. I think someone grabbed him from somewhere else."
Church: "How is that possible? The only technology I know that could do that is- ...Wait a minute. Each freelancer had an enhanced suit of armor and an A.I., right?"
Tex: "Right."
Caboose: "Right."
Church: "Your armor was invisibility, and your A.I. was Omega."
Tex: "Right."
Church: "Alpha's is invisibility and temporal distortion. Alpha's AI was..."
Alpha: "I didn't have one, Church. I had mine shared with...(growls) Sigma."
Caboose: "Wrong. Oops, missed that one, can we go back?"
Church: "What was Wyoming's A.I.?"
Tex/Alpha: "Gamma."
Church: "Huughh. I gotta make a phone call."
Cut to O'Malley's old base, with the sound of a phone ringing
Gary: "hello."
Church: "Hello, this is Church, Gary. Or should I call you Gamma? Have you been lying to us?"
Gary: "lying is such a shisno concept. I mean human concept"
Church: "You're a computer, I thought computers can't lie."
Gary: "they can if they are programmed to lie."
Church: "Were you programmed to lie?"
Gary: "... no..."
Church: "God dammit."
Gary: "I have to go, church."
Church: "Wait a minute, what about the aliens, how do we-"
Gary: "goodbye."
Wyoming: "Hmm, do they know?"
Gary: "there is nothing to worry about. we are close to the end. we will not be stopped now."
Wyoming: "We should keep going, hop in."
Back to Church, with his radio making connection sounds
Vic Jr.: "Hello, ringading, Blue Base, come in, let's go hello, come in."
Church: "Hello? Vic, is that you?"
Vic Jr.: "Hey dude, how's it goin', been a while since we spoke."
Church: "Why're you calling me?"
Vic Jr.: "Everything been goin' good, yeah that's great, listen, don't have much time to talk, uh been discussing things here at Blue Command, we think everything is bad, and now is the time to go attack the Red Base. Turns out the Reds are up to no good, and somebody needs to kill 'em. A good way to do that might be to send some people through the caves, yeah, take 'em by surprise, anyway, can't talk, gotta go, seeya la vista."
Church: "Waitasecond waitasecond wait- Why do people keep hanging up on me!?"
Cut to the Reds entering a structure via a bridge, in their vast underground lair, and coming across a viewscreen switching between shots of the Canyon
Sarge: "Huh, what's all this business?"
Simmons: "It looks like a bunch of computer equipment, sir."
Sarge: "Excellent analysis, Simmons."
Donut: "And it's attached to some kinda T.V. thing."
Sarge: "So it is. Astute deduction, Donut."
Grif: "It shows all different parts of the canyon. Look, there's our base!"
Sarge: "Ah yes, another incredible observation from the stating-the-obvious department. Thanks for nothing, numbnuts."
Grif: "Huhhhhhh."
Sarge: "Simmons, Donut- you two stay here. Grif's gonna continue to help look for Andy."
Grif: "Fine. (wandering off) Huhh, I hate my job."
Donut: "Look, there's my room! And the locker room! And there's the showers! Mahan, so many good memories."
Simmons: "I hope this thing isn't connected to the internet."
Sarge: "Euh, the Blues must've set this up. Crafty devils. Spying on us all along. ...What's all that?"
Simmons: "That looks like Blue Base."
Sarge: "Why would the Blues spy on themselves?"
Simmons: "Maybe the Blues didn't set this up. Someone else might've."
Sarge: "Or maybe the Blues are so incredibly arrogant, they just wanna see themselves on T.V. Boy I bet they have those stupid liberal equal time laws. Commie Blue bastards."
Simmons: "What if all this technology is just left over from an ancient civilization that was way more advanced than us?"
Donut: "Wait a minute, how could an ancient civilization be more advanced? If they were so advanced, where did they go?"
Simmons: "They could have mysteriously disappeared, only leaving behind a legacy of enigmatic technology."
Donut: "... ... That's gay."
Simmons: "Oh, let's finish this fight later."
Sarge: "Look, what's that?"
Simmons: "Hhh! That looks like Sister's armor."
Donut: "Oh no, what happened to her?"
Sarge: "Clearly, she's been disintegrated."
Simmons: "Why would they do that? Oh, we can't tell Grif. He's gonna be devastated."
Grif: "Tell me what?"
Sarge: "Tell you that your sister's been vaporized by the Blues."
Grif: "What!?"
Simmons: "Sarge!?"
Sarge: "Heh heh, it's just like rippin' off a band-aid. Quick and incredibly painful."
Simmons: "We just talked about this, I thought we agreed not to tell him."
Grif: "What?"
Donut: "You really need to start thinking about other people's feelings, Sarge."
Sarge: "Son, the only thing I need to do is stay red and die."
Grif: "What?"
Simmons: "I'm really sorry Grif. She's dead."
Grif: "How could this have happened? Oh man, that was my little sister. I mean, I know we don't always see eye to eye, but I still loved her."
Simmons: "This has to be hard Grif. I don't know what to say."
Grif: "I-I just, I had no idea the last time I saw her was gonna be the last time ever. I'd give anything to see her again and just to talk to her one last time, and I'm never gonna get that chance. It's the most empty feeling in the whole world."
Donut: "Oh hey, look! She's not dead, she's just naked!"
Grif: "What! That little slut, I'm gonna kill her!"
Simmons: "Take a screenshot, take a screenshot!"