\ wherein the year ends /
FOR A LONG TIME, I didn't know where I was.
It was as if I was in the space in between life and death, just a big, blank space.
Time was stranger there, and my memory of it was very hazy, but the one thing I remember perfectly of my time there was a red-haired woman with green eyes and a man who looked eerily similar to Harry running towards me.
I can't remember exactly what they said, but I remember her hugging me and thanking me. I didn't understand, not really, but they said it was too early for me and led me to a door.
They thanked me again and told me I should go through the door and be with my friends, so I obliged and did so, and the next thing I heard was the voices of all my friends begging me to wake up.
why did that happen so often?
"Pheobe, wake up, please," said a voice.
"Her heart rate's speeding up! Someone go get Pomfrey!" shouted a different one.
"Pheobe, hang on!" cried another voice.
"Madam Pomfrey!"
"I'm here, I'm here!" said Pomfrey's voice. I heard her mutter things for a bit and there was pure silence for a few minutes.
"Is she...is she still here?"
"I don't know, is she?" I said groggily, opening my eyes and seeing several blurry figures before me.
"Pheobe!" they gasped.
"Hi," I said, rubbing the area on my forehead which I remembered hitting somewhere, which was now bandaged up. "Where're my glasses?"
"You blind arse, you scared us half to death!" said Ron's voice as he slipped my glasses onto my face and everyone was suddenly clear.
Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, Dean, Seamus, Lavender, and Parvati were all there, standing around my bed.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," I said hollowly as some of them let out relieved sighs. "What's going on? What happened? Where are we? Is Voldemort-" I started to sit up with so many questions buzzing in my head but Madam Pomfrey immediately laid me back down firmly.
"You'll kill yourself before you have a chance to recover," she tutted. "But, Black, for the record, I'm glad you aren't dead." she gave me a small smile before tsking at all my friends and walking to her office.
"She called me Black!" I exclaimed suddenly.
"Yeah, stupid Barty told everyone."
"Wha-" I stared at everyone except Ron, and Hermione, who had known that Sirius was my dad for a long time. "You guys- you know? You aren't- it's fine?"
"Are you serious?!" said Fred, scoffing. "You really thing we'd all ditch you because of who your dad is?!"
"Exactly! Mate, who says you're your dad? Well, I mean, those two panicked for a good ten minutes, but it wasn't 'cause they were scared of you, they were scared for you, that your dad'd come and try to find you," said Dean, beckoning to Lavender and Parvati who grinned at me.
"But-"
"Can you shut up?" said George finally. "It's been five days since we've last bloody seen you awake and conscious. Harry came back from the Portkey or whatever five days back, with you and Cedric...-"
"Where's Harry?" I asked suddenly, realizing he wasn't there. Nobody answered me, instead staring at the floor or looking at me pitifully. "What's going on? Did I miss something? I don't understand-"
"We...we don't really know."
"What are you going on about?"
"We...um...ever since you, him, and...Cedric returned.." Hermione started carefully, "we haven't...we haven't seen Harry an awful lot."
"Awful lot is one way to say it," said Seamus, nodding along, "he just..we see him in the morning, when he's leaving the common room, but that's it. We don't know where he goes; he always has his Invisibility Cloak with him."
"Is he okay?"
"Calm down," said Hermione, nudging me teasingly. "I know you're panicking about your boyfriend, but he's just been really scared for these last few days. It, erm...he hasn't told us what happened to you, why you've been unconscious, so we all just assumed that you passed out in fear..." I paused, remembering what happened.
the cruciatus curse..
voldemort..
the graveyard...
"He's been scared," said Lavender.
"We've all been."
"What...what really happened, Pheobe?" asked Seamus after a moment. I hesitated and shook my head, shuddering when I remembered the feeling of being under the Cruciatus Curse.
"...it was pretty bad." I turned to glance out the window, and out of the corner of my eye, I could've sworn I saw Draco Malfoy standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets. Fred noticed me looking and spoke up.
"Git's been visiting every day. Suppose he feels bad since his cousin was attacked by his dad's best mate," said Fred loudly.
.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.
When Madam Pomfrey finally said I could go, what felt like forever later, I nearly jumped out of the cot, scaring all my friends.
"Where are you going?!"
"Careful!" exclaimed Madam Pomfrey. "Your head's still sensitive, and your leg-"
"Thank you!" I said loudly, walking away.
"But where-"
"To find real food!" Pomfrey had been making me go on a strict diet of foods that would be good for my recovery, like boiled vegetables and mashed carrots, but luckily I had a Ron to sneak me some fudge every now and then.
I went out to the courtyard, where I knew Harry would be, probably hidden under his cloak. I located the tree that we sat under together and carefully walked over, trying not to make too much noise as I gently felt for the cloak and pulled it off to reveal Harry blankly staring out at the lake.
"Harry," I said brightly, "Pomfrey finally fucking let me leave, d'you want to come with me to the-"
"Go away," he said coldly. I froze.
"...what? Harry, it's me."
"No. You're not Pheobe. Hermione, or Lavender, or whoever the hell this is, whatever stupid trick this is, just go away."
"Harry, stop it, this isn't funny."
"You're just an illusion. You're in my head." he wouldn't even look at me.
"Harry, it's me."
"I know," he said with a sigh, his voice shaking as he pulled his knees, looking as if he hadn't slept right for days. "You. The illusion that hasn't left my head for five days, that refuses to let me sleep, that goes wherever I go and doesn't let me do a single thing without breaking down."
"Harry," I started softly, "I promise you I'm not an illusion."
"You said that yesterday, too, and the day before, and the day before, and the day before. Everyone thinks I've gone insane."
"Everyone?" I repeated my heart breaking. "Harry, I swear, I'm me. Not an illusion or shit, just me."
"Liar."
I sighed and crossed my legs, the two of us watching the lake in silence.
"Harry," I said, "what can't an illusion do?"
"Replace the girl I love."
"The girl you love," I repeated, "you're very clear with that nowadays. Er- say I am an illusion...why do you still love her after you know she doesn't love you?"
"Because," said Harry, sighing. "Because you don't give up. Ever."
"How the hell do you want me to prove to you I'm real?" Harry merely shrugged and I groaned, lying flat on my back on the grass and looking up at the sky. "You really think I'm an illusion?"
"I know you are," he said, his voice breaking. "Madam Pomfrey said she doesn't know if Pheobe- the real Pheobe- will wake up. She's...I've almost entirely lost my Pheobe." I smiled softly.
"Harry, I think I saw your parents. Redhead and a man who looks a lot like you... they're so nice, Harry, I wish you could've met them."
"What- what did they say?"
"I don't remember," I said pitifully. "I remember they thanked me, and they told me it was too early for me to go." he still didn't look at me, so I sighed and pulled at a few strands of grass. "Harry, my dad's kind of an arse. My mum left to save both herself and me. My best friend's parents pitied me the whole time I stayed with them. My best friend thought I was insane for loving you so much," I laughed.
"How'd you know about me?"
"What, you think they didn't write books about the boy who lived?" I rolled my eyes. "I read them all. Each and every one."
"Really?"
"Of course. I loved you."
"What changed?" asked Harry sadly, laying down beside me. "You didn't actually fall for Fleur or Hermione or Malfoy, did you?"
"'Course not," I said.
"Anyone else?" I raised an eyebrow at him.
"Ron and I have a marriage pact. If we're both single at thirty-five, we'll get married. No kids, ever." Harry laughed lightly.
"So, then, why don't you love me anymore?"
"Harry, I don't know," I sighed, meeting his gaze, "I kind of just woke up from a long coma and I haven't eaten real food in, like, years, so all that's on my mind right now is beef wellington- unless, of course, you think I'm still an illusion?" Harry paused for a second, the corners of his lips quirking up.
"Nah. I think you're my Pheobe."
.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.
I made my way to Ron and Harry; Ron was grinning widely as he watched Viktor Krum leave Hermione's side to go back to Durmstrang and Harry was chuckling at the look on his face.
"He's gone!" said Ron.
"You sound way too pleased about that," I chided, pulling myself up and sitting on the small wall-like thing beside the column.
"Of course he does," laughed Harry as he climbed up beside me, "he got Viktor's signature and then told him to stay the hell away from Hermione forever." I grinned.
"Really?"
"No!" spluttered Ron, his ears red. "I would neve-"
"He did," Harry whispered in my ear, and I laughed, shaking my head.
"I'm sure you'd never say something like that, Ron."
"Say something like what?" said Hermione's voice as she looked at the three of us, leaning against the column.
"Nothing!" said Ron quickly. She pursed her lips before shrugging it off and turning to Harry and me.
"Pheobe, where're you staying over the summer?"
"The Burrow," I said brightly.
Fred and George had come up to me one day and said very straightforwardly, 'you're a Weasley now, you're staying with us over the holidays,' and had handed me a Weasley sweater that looked like it had been an 'F' before someone had badly knitted it to turn into a 'P'.
Ron had then given me very realistic-looking birth certificate papers that said my name was 'Pheobe May Weasley' and I was born on 'January 18th, 1980'.
A few days after, Molly and Arthur Weasley sent me a letter saying 'welcome to the family' along with a batch of homemade pies, and Ginny had come up to me saying that she was glad to finally have a sister.
I have to admit, I did cry at all of those instances.
"That's great, then!" Hermione said, her eyes lighting up. "Harry'll probably go over to the Burrow over summer, so you'll both be there, and then you can-"
"Hermione," I interrupted loudly, "instead of planning out my love life, why don't you start planning out yours?" I coughed loudly, motioning to Ron and giving the girl a knowing look. Hermione blushed furiously and shook her head.
"Promise to write," Hermione said instead as the four of us set down the corridor. "All three of you."
"I won't," said Ron with a chuckle. "I'll try, of course, but you know I won't."
"Pheobe will, won't you?"
"No," I said lightly, "how about you just come visit instead and I'll rant to you." Hermione laughed softly, rolling her eyes.
"Well, Harry will, right?"
"Er...sure, every week," said Harry hesitantly with a grin.
"Careful," I teased. "She'll hold that to you for the rest of your life."
"That I will."