What She Craves

Chapter 36

"Please lexi" he steps back to get a better view.
I sit down hoping he didn't really see me. Tears fall instantly. I hold my hand over my mouth to hold the sobs in. "Go a-way" I hiccup.
"Baby it wasn't me, she put-" he gets cut off by a very angry Jace.
"She said leave mate, now leave otherwise you're leaving with a black eye" Jace seethes. I can't see him but I know he's mad.
"I will make it up to you lex" Noah says completely ignoring Jaces threat.
I hear the back door slam. I lean my head back and cry. Jace walks into my room, Charlie is no where to be seen. I look at Jace through blurred vision.
"Please don't cry" he sits on the bed and motions for me to sit next to him. I stand up and walk into his arms.
Its about 6 in the arvo and here I am crying in Jaces arms. He puts on a movie and we watch in silence, I look out to see the once bright sky now dark and holding many stars.
"Dinner!" Dad yells.
Everyone up stairs runs to the dining room table. I walk slowly, feeling heavy. I finally get to the table.
We dig in, dad made his own Pad Thai which is the best.
"So who was at the door this arvo?" Mum says, my head shoots up from my food, I look towards the boys.
Charlie gives me glance then looks towards mum "One of my mates"
"Oh what did he want?" Mum has a bite of her food.
"returning a leggy I let him borrow" Charlie looks uninterested at his food.
The energy at the table was definitely dead, no one was in the mood. Mum had a long day and has a big day tomorrow, school for us kids, dads currently training the team because the rip curl world tour is coming around so he is busy all week. And I'm just more exhausted because I keep bloody crying and I'm sick of it.
I move the last bits of steamed veggies around my bowl. The fork screeching when it hits the ceramic surface. I cringe at the sound and stop. I Stand up and leave the table, placing my bowl in the sink.
Not a word is said until I'm up stairs.
"At least she's eating with us" dad mumbles.
"She should wait until we all finish though" Mum gets slightly annoyed
"Don't push it" dad replies.
"May we be excused" is all I heard before I shut my bedroom door.
My tv hums in the background as I stare out to the calmed sky, I lay on my bed. My door clicks open and clicks shut. I don't look, it's jace. He would be the only one to come in.
"Jace, what do you want?" It comes out harsh, and not what I intended to do.
"For you not to be alone" he sits on the bed giving it a dip.
I turn around and sit up facing him, he smiles and I show one in return.
"You seem much better today" he places his hand on mine.
"Much better?" I look at him, I want to get mad and yell at him for no good reason, but I don't, "thanks" I look away as the word leaves me mouth.
We sit there in silence, his hand holding mine in comfort. I turn to him not expecting him to be looking dead at me. His eyes hold strong feelings but nothing I can Decipher.
"Jace" my words come out as a whisper. He leans forward slowly, aw nah. I can't do this, I cannot do this. He's my brothers best friend, he's so close to our family, he's basically a brother to me, he's a long lasting crush and I just broke up with Noah.
But my thoughts didn't stop him and neither did they stop me, his lips crash into mine. He pushes me down onto the soft bed and hovers above me, our lips still connected and moving Vigorously against each other.
His hand slowly rides up my shirt but stays just below my bra, which is a good thing but than again I wouldn't mind if he went further.
I place my hands around his neck pulling him closer to me. But they're speedily removed and placed above my head, held my one of his hands.
I bit my lower lip as he slowly moves down my neck, leaving kisses in every possible spot.
I look down at him, his gentle kisses really getting the netter of me, I want to see his icy blue eyes, he lifts my shirt slightly and kisses my stomach, looking at me while he does it, I don't see Noah. Wait icy blue eyes, Jace has brown, Jace isn't Noah, this isn't Noah. I feel my eyes tear up thinking about him and how this should be Noah, I love him, I should be with him.
Jace notices my sudden change in mood and stops. "Hey Lexi what's wrong?" He pulls my shirt down and releases my wrists from above my head.
"I can't" my throat becomes tight trying to hold in the tears, I look at jace through blurred vision "I love him" the tears fall.
"I know" he grabs me off the bed so I stand and hugs me tight. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that" he let's go of me and walks to the door. "But I don't regret it". He looks at me adoration in his eyes.
"I'm sorry" I whisper as he walks out.
But he stops, he turns around and walks towards me, grabbing my face and kissing me, you can almost feel him whimper into the  kiss, likes it's painful for him. "I know I won't ever get you, I just hope maybe one day, one day I will, so if it doesn't happen Atleast I had this moment" his hands fall to his sides and he leaves the room.
I'm so confused, so fucking confused.
Noah, he...he did what he did but I can't look past it, but here I am pining over him, and here is jace, pining over me. Wanting me.