We walk into the house to find it still dark and empty. Harry's mom must still be out, and my mom must still be driving back from dropping my sisters off. So I still have a little bit of alone time with my Hazza.
I know how I feel about Harry, but I have no clue how he feels about me, and I need to know. I need some answers...and I know exactly how to get them.
"Do you want to play Truth or Truth?" I ask as I flop myself on the couch.
"Is that like Truth or Dare but with only truths?" He asks as he sits down, grabs my legs, and pulls them on top of his, massaging my feet and ankles.
I shiver. "Yeah, pretty self explanatory."
He shakes his head in a mocking manner, "Yeah, pretty self explanatory." He says, mocking what I just said.
I laugh and shake it off. "You go first, ask me a question."
"Okay. Well first off, truth or truth?"
"Hm, let me think about that... what were my options?" We smile at each other as we hold in our laughs. We fail.
Once we collect ourselves, he continues with his question.
"Would you be down for a threesome?" He asks, smiling.
"Woah there Styles, let a man ease into the game first." We laugh. "Probably not, it's not special like that." He looks down and brings his hands in front of his face as he pretends to fix his hair, but I can see that he's smiling and beginning to blush.
He looks up again a few seconds later, back to normal, and nods his head. "My thoughts exactly."
"We're soulmates, what have I been telling you Hazza?" I say. It's a part of my "drop little cutesy shit into our conversation to see how he reacts" plan to see if I can decode his feelings. After that little remark, I can see him blush, but not in an embarrassed or sheepish way, but in more of a forced way. Like he's going along with the act. I frown slightly, not understanding how to read his face. Then he blows me a kiss and winks. More of this cutesy shit. Is he playing along or doing exactly what I'm doing? He's so confusing.
Instead of letting it bother me, I catch his kiss and stuff it in my back pocket. "Truth or truth?" I ask.
"Truth." He says after a slight pause, as if he had more than one option.
"Do you have any kinks?" I ask, more intrigued than I should be.
He tilts his head upwards, squints his eyes, taps his chin with his right index finger, and lets out a soft, "hmmm".
"Maybe when someone whispers in my ear." He finally says.
I take a few things away from his confession.
a) He didn't use a pronoun, so he wasn't gender specific.
b) I do that quite frequently so I wonder if he likes it, in that way.
c) I'll be doing that more often, I suppose.
I let out a content "hm" as if processing the new information. Before he has a chance to ask me, I say, "Truth".
He smiles and laughs. "You asked me this in the corn maze, but now I wanna know, where's your favorite place to be kissed?" He asks, raising his eyebrow.
I press my eyebrows together, thinking. I don't really know honestly, if it's the right person, I like being kissed anywhere. I think back to all of my experiences kissing to try and find the most pleasurable memory. There was one time, I was snogging my ex-girlfriend from high school and she had me pressed up against the couch while she was on top of me, a feeling I'm not used to being usually the one on top, and she was kissing my neck and my collarbone which felt pretty nice. It would feel a whole lot better if it was Harry kissing me there.
"Probably my neck and my collarbone." I say shrugging, trying to act nonchalant.
I watch as he eyes my neck. Suddenly I feel the room getting hotter as I imagine Harry kissing my collarbone. I snap out of it realizing I'm the one to ask the question now.
"And you asked me this question last time, have you ever had sexual thoughts about a guy before?" I smirk, this was an important question that could make or break me.
I see him immediately stare down at the floor, his face obviously getting red.
"Haha, yeah I mean I guess I have...had sexual *gulp* thoughts.. haha about a guy... before."
Jeez, that took him 5 minutes to get that sentence out. That's fishy. But promising.
"Truth or truth." He says before I can even react to his most recent confession.
"Truth."
"Who are you closest with in the band?"
"You of course, Hazza. Who else?" I smile pulling him into a hug and rubbing my hands through his hair.
"I sort of figured that, I secretly just wanted to hear you say that. You're my closest too." He says smiling as he nudges deeper into my cuddle. "Let's play the rest of the game like this, I'm comfortable." He says.
I nod my head, so willing to do anything that involves cuddling with my Hazza.
"Truth." He says, doing the same thing I had done to him rounds earlier.
I chuckle at his cute little joke.
"Out of everyone in the band, who would you date and why? And that includes all of the, well...sexual parts of dating."
Jeez that just spewed out of my mouth. You didn't even think twice before you asked that! Give him a break, that's a lot to ask your best friend.
I saw his eyes go big and the breath leave his body. He looks like he's just seen a ghost. Is he okay? Did I go too far, did I freak him out?
"Hazza?" I ask, interrupting his freak out.
I see him snap out of it as he looks up at me in the eyes.
"Um, probably...well honestly. You." He says looking down at our feet which were intertwined and rubbing against each other.
I smile, luckily he can't see it. I feel my heart light up for what feels like the 50th time this trip. I tighten my hold around his waist and kiss his head.
"Me too." I whisper.
He looks up to me with a smirk. "You'd date yourself too?" He asks with a prankish grin.
"Uh no haha, no I meant I'd date you too." I stutter, practically not even saying the words right.
I see him flash me a content grin before he returns his head against my chest. I bring my hands up and through his hair, massaging his head.
Usually I'm the Sass Master from Doncaster and would've said something like, "Yeah, of course I'd date myself" but for some reason, it's like I'm incapable of doing that around Harry. It's strange and completely new to me. I have yet to get used to it.
"Truth or truth?" He asks me.
"Truth, actually no, truth." I say, chuckling at my own joke.
"Have you ever read fanfiction about people in the band, and which ones?" He asks, raising his eyebrow.
That was a good question, because it's a hard one to answer. Of course I have, I think pretty much all of the boys have read at least one. I can tell him that, I'm not ashamed of that, it's the last part of his question that is hard to answer. Because the only ones I've read were... Larry Stylinson ones. Even before I knew I loved him, I would read only those ones because I felt they were more entertaining and really hooked me in. Maybe I've always loved him, I mean why else would I read Larry Stylinson fanfiction, and kind of reread the smut chapters multiple times.
"Um yeah I have, I mean I bet you have too." I say shrugging.
He nods, "Maybe. So which ones?"
You're killing me Styles. I can't answer that, you'll be creeped out. Maybe if I mention the names of a few that you wouldn't know were Larry Stylinson unless you read it.
"Um, I've read Truth or Dare, 27 Minutes, Insecure Texting..."
"Those are all Larry Stylinson!"
Shit.
"Do you only read Larry Stylinson fanfiction?!" He asks, sitting up straight.
I freeze. I feel so...trapped. Restricted by Harry sitting on me so I can't run away, and restricted by the thousands of thoughts running through my mind so I can't get any words out.
I feel my mind overflow with thoughts and emotions. I'm terrified for some reason. More mentally scared than I ever remember being before.
"Louis?"
If only I could just slip away into the ground and disappear. Never see his face ever again. Actually no that would be horrible, but never have him remember this moment. I would give anything for that.
"Lou!?"
He's probably thinking about how creepy I am. I mean I am creepy! I'm creepily and hopelessly in love with my best friend who I would do and give anything for. He means so much to me I can't imagine my life without him in it.
"LOUIS!?"
God I'm so dramatic. It's just a bit of smut. If he's really that bothered by it then it's his fault. No, nothing is ever his fault, he's too perfect for that.
"LUBBA!"
I snap my neck to look at him so fast I feel a pop.
"Shit that hurt!" I scream putting my hand up to my neck and massaging.
God this is so chaotic.
"You okay Lou?" He asks leaning forward and putting both hands around my neck, replacing my once present hand. I feel him massage the spot my hand had been in before. I stretch my neck and allow him to massage. It feels exceptional.
"Lou, I was only joking." He says, continuing to massage me. "You looked so freaked out." He almost forces my eyes into his with his apparently existing telekinesis. "I want you to know, I really don't mind at all. It's...sweet." He smiles. It's such a loving smile, like a way to tell me that he is always here for me and will never judge me. Why do I keep doubting him and assuming he's going to hate me. Hazza's not like that, not at all. God, I'm a mess.
I feel every emotion leave my body, happy, sad, nervous, excited, they all just disappear. It's like the overwhelming fear I had felt was completely neutralized by the flood of relief that had entered my system when he said he didn't mind.
Well now I feel numb, great.
"Oh, haha, sorry if I spaced out for a second." I say, bringing my hands back up to my aching neck. I feel his fingers under mine and remember that he's still massaging my neck for me. Instead of flinching and pulling my hand away, I wiggle my fingers in between his and sort of snuggle them there. I see him look at our braided fingers, then look back up at me and smile. I sigh and he sighs back. Once we both realize we've been sitting in that position for a little too long, we both mutually let go and I watch as he twists his body back around and lays back down on me.
"Truth or truth?" I ask, putting my hands back into his curly hair.
"Truth."
"Do you want to put on a movie right now?" I ask.
He looks up to me and nods. "Yeah, I'm getting kind of tired and could use a cuddle while watching a movie."
"I'll go put one in, but you have to let me up."
After I've said that I feel him turn his entire body around so that now he is laying down facing me so that our stomachs are touching. He lifts me up a little bit so that he can squeeze his arms around my waist as he nuzzles his head into my chest and his legs lay cuddled up in between mine so that it goes my leg, his leg, my leg, his leg.
"No." He says in such a cute voice it makes me want to pass out. "I'm not letting you go." Then he squeezes me tighter. The surplus of love I feel for this man spills out of me and into the atmosphere. It fills the room and makes me feel the lightest I've ever felt, like I could just float away.
"But then I can't put a movie on." I say, secretly not wanting him to get up and wanting him to just squeeze me harder, compelling me to stay with him.
He does just that. I feel his large arms squeeze me closer to him as his head is forced even deeper into my T-shirt, any harder and it would be painful.
"It's fine, let's just cuddle without the movie."
We've never just cuddled before. We've always had a reason too, whether it being watching a movie, or sitting next to each other on the plane and needing a comfortable position to be able to sleep. It had all just been when's it's convenient, but now, we were straight up cuddling. No reason, no motive, just because we want to be close to each other.
He's definitely proved he's not uncomfortable with our close relationship, and he's starting to prove that he initiates things as well. I guess I'll just have to keep doing experiments.
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A/N
What's your favorite One Direction Album??
Mine is definitely Made In The A.M.
...followed by Four, Take Me Home, Midnight Memories, and our special little baby Up All Night