Tuesday
Sebastien and I are continuing with the silent treatment, but since it is final season I cannot let it get to me. Studying is my safe haven and the only thing running smoothly in my life at the moment. I am so into retyping up my notes tonight, I don't even hear my phone vibrating. The second time it beeps, I grab my screen and note that Becky is calling me. I slide it through.
"Emma?" Becky's voice cries out in pain.
"Becky?" I ask on high alert. "What's wrong?"
"Ray is in the hospital," her voice breaks. "She relapsed."
I cover my mouth in my hand my mind going a thousand different places.
"She's okay. She is...I ju-just wanted to let you know." Her anguish pours over the phone.
"I'm so sorry Becky. Do you need anything?"
"I am alright," she answers weakly. "I am going to spend the night at the hospital with her for now."
I chew my lip. "Do you want me to bring you anything? Maybe some of your textbooks or food?"
She goes silent for a moment. "Actually that would be helpful. I have an exam tomorrow. Thank you, Emma," she replies sincerely.
I stuff her textbooks in my bag before hurrying to catch the first bus to the hospital. Stepping into the waiting room, I immediately spot Becky's black hair and tear-stained face. I cut across the room to her and swiftly pull her in for a hug.
"What happened?" I ask, gently pulling away.
She shuts her eyes and shakes her head. "One of her exes," she says in disgust. "Was actually one of her old sellers and when they met up she took heroin. She was close to overdosing before the girl had to call the ambulance. I knew it! I knew no one from her past was good news. I just didn't want to come off as a jealous girlfriend."
"Hey, it's okay. She is alright right now. There was nothing you could have done."
We sit down in the waiting room before the receptionist tells us visiting hours are almost over.
"Want to come with me to visit her again?" Becky asks me tentatively, wiping her brown eyes.
"Of course," I respond.
We get permission and then walk into the room, tears instantly blossoming on my face. Ray is asleep, but her arms have scratch marks along the side of them and her skin is deathly pale with a little blue bruising. The nurse is changing out the fluids at her side but looks up towards us.
"Hello, girls. She actually just fell asleep. I would suggest coming back in a little while," the nurse informs us.
We both nod our heads and turn back out the door. As we exit the room, Becky explodes.
"I am so angry at her! How could she do this!" She screams.
My eyes go down to the floor as more tears threaten to fall. "I don't know. I don't think we can be angry with her right now, she is sick."
I turn to Becky and her face is contorted with pain and anger, but also fear. I blink away my own tears. I can't fall apart, I need to be a strong friend for her right now.
"How about we take a break and grab a snack in the cafeteria?" I offer consolingly.
"Okay," she replies softly.
We walk over to the cafeteria and snag a table. I excuse myself to make my way over to a vending machine and my false bravery cracks. The waves of emotion hit me. Rayna and I aren't very close, but every time I have seen her she has been so lively and excitable. To see her like this is downright terrifying to see how fast a moment can change things. I text the group and they let me know they are on their way, but the one person I really want to talk to isn't in that group chat. My fingers start tapping before my logic catches up. I dial his number and moments later he picks up.
"Bash," I utter anxiously. "I know we're in a fight, but can we just talk for a moment?"
"What's going on?" He asks.
"Rayna relapsed."
He swears under his breath. "Is she okay?"
"I think so." I stare at the rows of candy. "I don't really know."
"Where are you?"
"I am at the hospital with Becky," I answer dully.
"Would you like me to come?"
I shut my eyes immensely grateful for him. "Yes," I breathe.
"Okay, I will be there soon."
...
The minute Sebastien joins us, I burst from my seat. Our eyes meet and he gives me a worried once-over making sure I am intact before Becky grabs him into a hug and says her thanks to him for coming. The receptionist interrupts our reunion and Becky breaks away from him.
"Hun, Miss Morales just awoke if you want to see her. Only one guest this time."
Becky looks at me in alarm.
"Go. Tell her we are here," I insist.
She nods her head before hurrying through the doors. I take the minute to observe Bash. He has on a light blue hoodie with black jeans. He appears calm, but I notice the stress lining his eyes. I don't know if these kinds of situations trigger him because of his dad.
"Thank you for being here," I express to him earnestly.
"It's no problem." He shoves his hands into his jean pockets.
"No. It is. I said some stupid stuff the other day. I am sorry Sebastien."
"It's okay Emma. I don't handle fights in the best way. My instincts are normally to run. You're not the only one at fault."
"No, it's okay. This time was definitely me. I never meant to push you away or blame you. I just I guess—" I close my eyes mortified. "I had a lot going on and then I felt extremely guilty that you broke up with Brittany. Because I felt like you did it because of me," I blurt.
He pauses examining my expression.
"Emma. Our breakup was not because of that night at my dad's. I am really sorry if I made things uncomfortable from it. That relationship with her had a lot of other problems. Trust me, you didn't do anything."
"Oh. Okay," I murmur rattled and avert my eyes. "I never want us to stop spending time together. I just got worried I was messing things up for you."
"Emma, I make time for you, because I want to. You are my best friend and always will be. I am here to stay Emma. No matter what. Hopefully, you feel the same."
Best friend, right. I clear my throat. "Of course I am always here for you too. I am sorry if I made you doubt that. Thanks again for coming tonight."
"Always. I wanted to be here for Rayna too. She deserves the support."
I nod my head and before long, Jess, Jared, and Lukas rush in and we all sit together in the waiting room. Jess gives us all a hug. Jared for once is quiet and Lukas looks crushed. I remember him telling me he was afraid they wouldn't see the signs before it could be prevented. It breaks my heart that they are probably pointing the finger at themselves.
Becky rounds the corner and Jess shoots up running to her. They cry and fiercely hug each other before Jess brings her over to us.
"How is she?" Jared asks quietly.
"She's going to be okay. She didn't overdose, but she has to start over again. She is angry at herself. I told her you guys were coming, but she didn't want to show her face to everyone. She's embarrassed," Becky answers.
Jared hangs his head and Jess pulls him into her chest.
"We would never judge her," Jess admits saddened.
"She knows. I think she just needs the night to process what she did."
The loudspeaker informs us visiting hours are over.
"We should probably go back to campus. They won't let us back in until morning," Becky adds. Everyone sullenly nods their heads in agreement.
"I was actually going to spend some time at the library. Did you guys want to join?" I offer.
"Honestly, that would probably be helpful," Jess replies.
"Yeah, I was going to stay, but it is probably better if I go with you guys," Becky says and Jess pulls her into a side hug.
I turn to Bash. "You coming?" I ask hoping.
He offers me a feeble smile. "Of course."
***
*author's note*
Not a happy chapter, but things are going to get better I promise! I'll give you a teaser. I'm planning on naming the next chapter "Mindfulness Deathtrap" any guesses on what might happen??? ;) Don't forget to vote!
Thank you!! Have a great weekend! Happy Valentine's Day to those who celebrate 💘