QOTD: who is ur sunset curve bias and why? can u tell i've become way too obsessed??
y'all can we get 30 votes 🥺
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Adeline's POV
Every son wants to be like their dad, they have rose-coloured glasses for their first hero. My Dad was my first hero too and my problems with him could barely match up to Jordan's. It took him long enough to see it but his Dad was never the hero he longed for him to be. The way Jordan spoke to me and Blaire, was how his Dad talked to every woman. He was that man in the making so no matter what, I was glad he finally saw what he could've become.
"Addie look I, I don't want to be him anymore, and I'm moving on from it all now. It's not an excuse though for why you had to be there, and Blaire. There was no way you deserved any of that and I took advantage of already knowing you liked me and it, it kills me knowing now that you've had to carry the guilt, I should've been this whole time. It was never you I swear, you were perfect and I never saw it. Or I didn't let my conscience see it but after a while of us being over, it's been hurting ever since. I'm just, sorry."
"I'm sorry too, that you've been a dick for ages 'cause of that asshole," I replied, he gave me a faint chuckle and I shrugged my shoulders. I could at least be sorry about that, I could complain about my nosy Mom and Aunt any day, but at least they cared about me enough to be nosy.
"Ugh don't be, I'm glad he's gone I don't even care and - God I fucking hate him." He hissed and I pouted my lips slightly.
"You wanted to be just like him by getting into that god-awful frat. I don't think you're happy he's gone. You can 'fucking hate him' but still miss him, even if he does suck." I assured and he looked up to me with so much hesitant emotion.
"Alright Philly you know me pretty well," he kidded and I crossed my arms whilst grinning. I then felt like we had a small, pure moment in each other's presence but I needed to clear the air in that instant. Sure Josh and me weren't really going to be a thing but, maybe I just needed to function alone instead.
"Jordan I, I'm glad we talked an all but, I don't want to make it awkward again...but I don't think we..."
"Addie...it's okay. I know that we were never meant to be, I know I messed up - all very fair and square - and you and Josh are...so much better in every way" he said with an actual sincere smile. I was slightly taken aback by surprise - again, I was feeling this constantly - but I then turned tense for how he talked about me and Josh.
I thought we were great too, yet he hasn't wanted to acknowledge my existence since our fight.
"It was just insane seeing how we could've been if I wasn't like...me. Like even though I was nosy and figured out you guys were fake dating, everything I saw was real and...and that was where I was starting to see that I was the problem." he admitted and I gave him a slim smile.
"Well I did think I felt that with you, but yeah with Josh...it's not the same, in a good way" I replied whilst reminiscing on any moment we got to hold hands and talk shit.
There was a sincere level of comfort in Josh, and reciprocity I had wanted for so long. But I mentally shook my head out of that memory slideshow.
"Yeah it was just, all the guilt I was supposed to feel the whole time caught up to me and I would think about how warm your Mom was to me at events and you looked miserable. I didn't want to be the reason for that face anymore so I confessed while you were gone. She didn't say much but she wished me a safe ride home anyway" Jordan said and that just made me smile - such a classic Mom thing to do.
"And you don't care that she could tell her sister, and she could tell every housewife in the state?" I teased and he shrugged his shoulders.
"Well not really actually...I'm leaving anyway" he said and my perplexed expression made him grit his teeth.
"L-Like you're going back to college for the semester or..."
"No I'm, leaving. I sorta got a job as a skateboard coach and I thought I'd be good at it, it's out of state," he replied.
"Wait but there are plenty of schools in San Diego for that right?" I asked instinctually.
"Yeah, I know." He sounded casual with his smile but his eyes held in so much aching. Of course he didn't want to stick around, he wanted that fresh new start out of the fatherly shadow he made for himself. And he probably didn't want me as a reminder of what he could have but missed out. 'Cause bitch I finally know I'm kind of a catch now.
"What about - what about your Mom?" I asked and I was surprised at the second wave of emotion that came over me. I had spent so much of my recent life hating this guy, but he was still a part of it. And he was just ready to go and I wasn't expecting it.
"She told me she's gonna be okay, like I'll be back for holidays and stuff but the college thing wasn't working for me anyway, I have some friends up there who are letting me stay over till I get on my feet" he continued and I was giving him an exaggerated nod. I couldn't tell if I was happy or sad about this.
"Come on you cannot be sad about this, if you're sad about me leaving, me and Blaire are judging you so hard" he joked and I let out a loud laugh and shook my head. I mean he wasn't wrong.
"Shut the fuck up it's kinda the end of an era, a shitty, painful one but still," I retorted and we chuckled, "but...just as long as you're sure about this and you're going to be better...and happy" I advised. I didn't want him to leave for what happened between us and then regret it later; this had to be for him.
"I need new people and experiences - the whole 'new city new me' bullshit. To do something I actually care about and not just sit around here and wallow in my Daddy issues, trust me we both need this" he said and I had to laugh at his Daddy issues remark with him.
"Okay well, the job sounds perfect for you, I mean because of you Angelo has now mastered an Ollie...I think" I said with shrugged shoulders and he let me know that was correct.
"Yeah, he's a good kid, I had a lot of fun with him - even if it was to see you before and after the lesson in the beginning" he confessed again and I rolled my eyes. At least he was self aware of how much of a dick he was being.
"So that's it huh, you're leaving for good - when's it happening?" I asked casually, but the hesitance on his face made me grow nervous.
"Um, Saturday night" he replied and my eyes widened before I turned offended.
"That's - no - you can't leave the night of my stupid Waltz Disney Ball, Baskeyfield!" I protested with crossed arms. I don't know, after all of the effort I had been putting in, especially the last few days to distract me from Josh, I needed everyone I knew to be there and see it.
"Come on Addie you would barely even see me, it's your night you'd be too busy running the damn thing with Gwen and Mom and - having fun with Josh" he finally admitted and I tilted my head with a frown.
I didn't want to just come out and say that me and Josh were pretty much over before we even began, it wasn't something I wanted to use to get Jordan to attend the ball. This night just meant a lot to me and we had been talking about it for months and I knew he'd have fun.
"Okay but I want everyone there, it's my last gig before my contract is up and I want people to just have fun and be there. Josh is...he's just performing and he's going to be amazing but you don't need to worry about that, just worry about what you're gonna wear!" I instructed sarcastically and he gave me a half smile.
"Speaking of costumes what's Josheline gonna wear - "
"I'm sorry Josheline, how long were you on stan Twitter?" I interrupted with shock and he gave me a cheeky grin; but there was no malice this time, it felt nice.
"Maybe a bit too long, I don't know how some of them are that bothered...I also saw a lot of K-pop fan...cams or whatever, with every hashtag" he added and I just shook my head as if to say 'don't even get me started', "but hey that proves a lot of people still support you guys out there...what's he been up to anyway?" he asked and I froze for a second. To explain or not to explain.
"He's actually getting ready for his second album release, rehearsing some stuff for the ball too and I guess after that he'll be back in Salt Lake City to shoot" I replied with such an effort to appear nonchalant. But I was looking in all directions and when my eyes met his again, I could already tell he could see right through me.
"Addie what's going on, I don't wanna overstep anything but - "
"No...it's it's fine I guess. Well I guess the whole 'faking it till we make it' didn't turn out great for us, but I'm still so happy he's supporting our company. And everyone would want you there too, please come and have some fun, before you leave us all forever - "
"I told you not forever dude, I'll be back for holidays - "
"Please? You owe me Jockstrap," I then teased and he let out a hearty laugh. I exchanged the same and he then tilted his head to think about it.
I didn't know what it was, why I wanted him to stay. But I just felt a friend or - a huge part of my life - leaving too soon. I hated change, so I just wanted one more night of normalcy. Before Jordan left, before Josh left.
"Flight's at 11pm..." he trailed off and I then found myself taking a step towards him. He seemed a bit taken aback but a kind smile came across his face.
"Before all our shit I swear we used to be friends, I just - this will be the icing on the cake for that closure...don't leave without a good goodbye" I then added softly and I could see I was wearing him down. His family, my family and Blaire's family were all going to be there. I knew he thought people didn't care about him but I just wanted us to end on a good note after everything that happened. Sure Josh and me couldn't get that but who knows, and I felt like this was going to be worth it.
"I haven't got a costume, I'm guessing you're going as Rapunzel, and Mrs. P is going as Mother Gothel? " he asked and I giggled before nodding. Anyone who knew me was aware that I would vouch that Tangled was slept on, Mom had no choice.
"And uh - I don't think Josh is coming with me anymore but he'll be Eugene...wait. You still got that emerald suit?" I then asked excitedly.
"You're-you're not telling me to come as the frog - "
"Chameleon!" I yelled back and he snickered again.
"Okay fine Sir, I'll come in green and - I'm sorry that Josh won't be by your side but who knows what'll happen at the ball right?" he tried to encourage. I admired how nice and supportive he was trying to be, it meant a lot to me but I was disagreeing in my head the whole time.
"Yeah we'll see," I said through a tight smile, "are you gonna be okay getting there or - "
"Uh well, I'll be packing a bit beforehand and the car's getting fixed that weekend so I'm, gonna Uber it probably," he informed. The venue was so far from his house though; I definitely couldn't afford that trip.
"That's an insane trip though, i-if you want you can come with me - us." I corrected and I found myself wanting to take that back instantly. The night-lights couldn't catch my heated face thankfully.
"No it's really fine I swear, you guys have been too nice already - plus you're gonna be there so early to set up I would just hold you back...I'm done doing that."
He would just hold me back. And he was done doing that. Wow.
Jordan again gave such telling eyes but I didn't know how to respond. I just thanked God he said that because I didn't want it to look like anything else if Josh somehow found out. Not that he'd notice or care maybe, but who knows.
"Okay no problem," was all I could reply, "I'll uh - see you Saturday" I said before giving a little wave and not knowing what else to do except leave. I started taking a few steps away.
I was so scared to come here, expecting another awful fight or just a misunderstanding again. But I was blessed to get what I had been longing for all this time. To know what actually happened and that it wasn't on me, and that he knew he fucked up. But more importantly, I just wanted to move on - for real this time - and not feel that pain. And I think I can now.
"Yeah I'll see ya and uh - Philly?" he asked and for once that nickname brought a smile on my face as I turned to see him.
"Thank you for inviting me and...everything you've done. And I really am sorry." his voice almost wavered at the end but he tried to play it off like he was as strong as ever. There was still a Jordan there that I could appreciate.
"I know...don't be too late." I concluded with a smile, before turning back and heading for the gate. I just received Mom's text to come home too.
Alright, time to finally get the ball set up, who knows what's gonna happen.
─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
--- notes ---
dang y'all - she's going to the ball with jordan - how are we feeling??
i had this chapter banked for a bit but i don't know how to end this story well, i legit get anxiety when writing fresh again IDEK WHY!!
but shit will definitely go down, stay tuned xx