EVERYDAY SAYINGS!!
PERSON: Whatever.
YOU:
Keep rolling your eyes bitch, maybe you’ll find your brain back there.
You know you’ve won an argument when the other person ends with whatever.
I see the extent of your vocabulary is starting to show.
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PERSON:What's up
You:
My blood pressure and my body mass index!
My panties, and they'are staying that way!
My IQ.
Your time--I'm outa here!
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Person: calm down
YOU:
Ever notice to people who told you to calm down are the one's who got you mad in the first place.
Do not summon my inner bitch. She doesn't play nice.
Telling an angry woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat.
Don't make me angry and tell me to calm down. That's like stabbing someone and wondering why they're bleeding.
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EVERYDAY QUESTIONS
Person: are you ready?
What can you say when you’re taking forever to get ready and people keep asking you, “Are you ready?” Here are a few fun comebacks that might come in handy the next time your friend wants you to know how long they have to wait.
You:
told you I'd be ready in five minutes. Stop calling me every hour.
It's better to arrive late than to arrive ugly!
Just a reminder that I'll always be running late.
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