Beneath the cosy covers, the tips of their noses brushed against each other's so gently. The subtle friction of it incited the curly-haired girl who was being held tightly by her fiancè to suppress a giggle until it found a way to escape, leaving a tingle on her lips once it subsides.
Both girls laid on their sides in the middle of the bed, arm in arm, the exposed skin of their thighs and arms touching beneath the covers. Raye held her girl close, basking in the contemporary serenity that prevailed.
Ever since they'd gone home after spending some well needed time at the girl's parents a few days ago, they confined themselves to the quiet square of the apartment. They wanted desperately to rid their minds of the heinous affairs that unfurled in the recent days: the death of Craig, Brienna's kidnapping, and all of them nearly dying so they took a step back.
The mental and physical exhaustion had hugged itself around them like a thick blanket, cradling their welcoming bodies, inciting an inert feeling to swaddle them both.
Intimacy and support Raye had flooded Brienna with. She'd apologized a million times for bringing such bitterness and ferocity into her and her family's life and she promised for there to be an end.
The sight of Quinn on the former afternoon bound up like an animal ready to be slaughtered confirmed that they would have some amount of peace again in the coming days. Raye couldn't necessarily reassure that something of that gravity wouldn't happen again but she swore to protect them and ten times more because it was what needed to be done.
For a moment, Brienna had gazed off into the distance and Raye knew that her mind was working in overdrive. She'd spent a few days talking to the girl about everything but gradually at a time. There were still so much that needed to be said between them, so much moving on that was foreseeably tedious.
"I can't believe that my dad really did all that." The girl's sweet-sounding voice is heard, drowning out the silence.
"I always knew he was an opaque man but never would I have guessed he had connections and those connections would literally give Quinn to you guys. My money had always been on Craig for some reason ya know?"
"Life is full of surprises,"
"But my dad?" Brie whispers, running her thumb across the deep cleft within Raye's chin. Her skin was smooth to the touch, almost like the finest silk there ever was in the universe and in such close proximity she saw the tiny cluster of moles that were scattered down the length of her neck. She reached out and brushed them with the back of her fingers, feeling as a well-defined throat wobbled up at down beneath her touch when Raye carefully swallows.
"I'm sorry that you had to find out about his past like this,"
"And you know what," The curly-haired girl rose up in bed, resting the weight of her body on her left arm that acted as a pivot. "I should've seen it because what parent allows their child to openly date someone dangerous? No offence baby."
"You think I'm dangerous?" Raye questions feigning innocence as if she had not murdered a young man in cold blood two years prior. The girl behaved as though she didn't break a man's jaw for trying to hurt her sister in law only weeks before and better yet she acted as though she had no affiliations or experiences in the smuggling of drugs and other illegal things. Sometimes she did her best to forget those memories. Sometimes she didn't want to define her character on the basis of those inevitable encounters but people usually did it for her.
"You are," Brie replied, gazing into her eyes with a seriousness, leaving Raye to drop the playful smirk. "Sometimes it scares me to think of what you're capable of."
For the millionth time, Raye caresses her girl's face, cupping her cheeks and wetting her own lips before she said what she needed to. "Everyone but you should be afraid of me." She responds, her jaw hardened due to her clenching it.
"But I've changed for you and I promise you won't need to think like that again. You've seen how far I've come and how resolute I've been. I've changed baby, and it's because I've realized that if I needed you in my life, then my life needed to change and we're getting to that point where this will all just be a distant memory."
"I know." Brie hums.
"We'll be fine, I promise. Luca's going to keep everything contained. You'll be safe, your family, your friends, okay?"
Brienna nods, reassured by her lover's words. She knew it was the truth. Raye's intentions had always been pure and harmless and she'd never forgotten.
"So what happens now, with Quinn and the authorities?"
Snuggling up against her, Raye closed her eyes, loving the homey feel in the girl's embrace. "We're keeping him alive for now but Luca has already done some things to him, he looks.. horrible. But uncle and I need to lay low for a while though. They still think we're in the police's custody and that's absurd." Raye chuckles.
Their covered chest moved in tandem once they decided to take a second to listen to the soft beating of their hearts. Brienna had so many things she wished to forget but escaping one's mind was an impossible desire, a rather futile attempt.
They'd grown silent for a significant time and sensing that Raye must've started to drift off to a still slumber because of her inanimate limbs and her laboured breathing, Brie slips her fingers up the back of her head, cradling the girl before dragging her fingers against her scalp, massaging her thoroughly. She'd caused the girl to quietly moan in an uncontrolled gruff voice, snuggling up closer.
"Mom and Cassie started Craig's funeral rearrangements," says Brie out of the blue and the quiet girl perks up. Raye gazes into grey eyes, her honeyed pools empathetic and warm. She felt her heart shattering once more into hundreds of pieces.
"They have?" She asks in a humbled tone, noting the way Brie's eyes seemed clouded by the grief.
Over the last couple of days, since they'd been back together, her girl's emotions were all over the place. Most days she was saddened by her brother's death while others she was ecstatic over being home and out of harm's way. Whatever emotions she felt was validated by Raye, it's the least she could've done but they were still saddening to witness.
"It's going to be a small service on Monday I think. Just a few of us. They might have him cremated because Cassie says he never wanted to be buried in a suit or even buried." Brienna pauses still holding the gaze of her girl. She saw how the girl's features at changed, outlined by grief and regret.
"I really don't know what's more depressing his sudden passing or the fact that he and Cassie actually talked about what he'd want if he died."
"I can never stop apologizing," Raye gets up from bed completely after saying that. Her black shorts riding down low from her hips, exposing her toned stomach and a peek of her nakedness beneath. Her t-shirt was a few sizes too big but she wore it with such style and grace. It had distracted Brie but not in a lustful way, but more of appreciation for a body worth worshipping.
Raye looked across at Brienna, imbued with a sadness that also clouded her eyes. Her dark red lips pressed in a thin line while she mulled everything over.
She combed her fingers through her hair and it fell around her in its messiness. Raye was nervous simply because she had no experiences dealing with such devastation. She never had to live knowing she had an inlaw murdered because of her simply breathing. It grieved her heart each second, minute, hour, etc.
"I know baby," Brie says trying to reach out and grab her arm but Raye gently steps back.
"I feel horrible. I feel like I failed the most important mission I'd ever receive in this life. You have no idea how hard it would be facing your family in the future. They'd always look at me knowing it's because of my presence in your life that they lost a son, a brother, a friend. I know they mean well but they will always hate me deep down inside."
"Craig had a life of his own, Raye. He lived a life that was filled with mystery and violence quite like yours. I feel as though one way or the other he would've gotten hurt. But I guess this is the outcome when two mountains meet, our worlds tend to viciously collide."
"Heartache is birthed when our worlds collide," Raye mumbles argumentatively.
"Please don't beat yourself up over it. You did your best for him and I'm sure if he was here right now he'd say the same. Despite what you say, you did your best."
Raye didn't listen, she allowed the heated sensation in her head to guide her actions and she walked out of the bedroom. She didn't know where she was going but she knew she needed a cigarette or something but Brienna had other intentions following her.
"Baby please," Brienna stops the girl from drowning her out. She wraps slender arms around her torso, drawing her near while looking up into her solemn face.
"I love you," she admits, watching the way the girl's stolid resolution seems to wear thin.
"My family loves you, my friends love you and they are forgiving people. Don't you think they know that it wasn't your fault? Don't you think that they have compassion in their hearts? If they hated you they would've said so, but no one did that."
Reflecting on the day she'd told Brie's friends about her abduction, Raye recalls Christopher's hostility towards her and she didn't blame him for lashing out. She knew at least one person would've had some amount of animosity in their hearts for her and she saw it.
"Please don't do this. I can't afford to watch you beat yourself up because of it. I'm saddened at my brother's death too, quite like everyone else but you taking the blame and bottling it up isn't going to affect only you. I don't want you blaming yourself."
"What more can I do?"
"Just be here, for them, for anyone that needs you. For me."
"If they want me, I'll be here."
"Okay," replied Brie, resting her head on the girl's chest. She felt Raye start to wrap her arm around her torso as well.
Raye wasn't one to hold onto tensions between them for long, so the girl wasn't surprised when she felt her melting into the embrace.
"We'll get over this," Brie whispers. Raye hums in agreement, contemplating, searching her mind. She knew it was going to get better with time but sometimes she felt like time was never on her side. She felt like it was a fight between her and the universe to see who'd be the first to disappoint Brie.
"I want to make you mine as soon as everyone would be willing to show up at our wedding," she states randomly and Brie looks up, questioning her words but with her pale orbs.
"I mean it. I don't care about a big wedding anymore. I don't care for anything lavish, but as long as the people we love are there. We'll celebrate us, we'll celebrate our families. We'll celebrate Craig.
We can do something in his name. We'll talk to Cassie and learn what he would've enjoyed and instead of a honeymoon we'll do something for him and your family." Raye reveals and Brienna's eyes watered because of those words.
She'd never ignore that in the middle of their heartaches and drama, the beauty that Raye possessed. The gentleness and thoughtfulness of her soul were sublime. Despite the air of despondency and anguish, Brie was happy that she had Raye by her side and likewise.
Raye felt like the luckiest woman in the world, surrounded by forgiving and benevolent people who saw her as a human with flesh and blood and constructed having imperfections and flaws just like them. They never treated her according to her vices, not even once and to her that was the greatest gift life could've bestowed upon her.