(A/N: NOT MINE!!!)
Andy: People often say they hope their deceased pet is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven... what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?
Joe: Dog heaven is also squirrel hell, it's a very efficient system.
Patrick: I can't stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone.
Pete: They know that the bird feeder isn't meant for them.
(A/N:
I love this one so much it left me dead on the floor)