VI / six
✧𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐂𝐀✧
Tuesday isn't any better than Monday, it's just a reminder that I've survived the first day but still have three days left to endure. If I count today it would be four.
The day is just beginning, but I was already awake, ready to go to the secret meeting that I have with Kendra in her car. Yes, her car is our secret place, where we confess our concerns and wishes. It's our escape point from all the rest of the world.
For her to be summoning my presence so early, it must be something worth losing sleep.
Today I wasn't very zealous about going to school and actually getting ready to be at least presentable, so I opted to put myself into some black sweatpants and a small red cropped top, for the feet I wore old snickers I have.
I don't have time to tell anyone where I'm going and don't really want to wake anyone up so early in the day.
So I cautiously go down the stairs trying not to make any kind of noise, but to my great luck when I opened the kitchen door it squeaked and the silhouette of something that seemed to be a person jumped abruptly, but barely let out a frightened cry.
I was slightly startled.
"What the freak is wrong with you?!" Nichole, my youngest sister exclaims placing her hands on her chest as if it would calm her down.
"What's wrong with you?" I retaliated, pointing out what she had in her hands. In them she carried bags of potato chips, chocolate bars and also oatmeal.
It amazes me how her body is able to maintain it's perfect figure when the owner spends her time choking on pure junk food.
Can't relate.
"Don't even look at me." She looks down at the amount of food she had in her hands, then removes her gaze from that to return her attention at me. "Why are you creeping around the house at 5 in the damn morning, Rebecca?!" She ends up saying whispering.
"I'm not creeping around!" She gave me a knowing look as if she already knew I wasn't being a hundred percent honest.
I go grab an apple and turn my heels around and without any explanation I stand on the doorframe and say: "I'm going out with Kendra and probably won't be home until nighttime. That's what you'll say if someone asks" I whisper.
I know she will. She always covers for me when something like this comes up and somehow we cross each other somewhere in the house. At least I can trust someone in this house.
For Christ's sake I'm late. So, so late.
I walk through the doorframe leaving her without any other explanation.
The front door opens up when I put my finger on the handle and I turn it, I look outside finding a car black car in our drive way waiting for me to get in.
I bite down my apple as I walk to her Mercedes SUV wagon. Beautiful car, not going to lie.
I hope my parents would trust me enough to buy me a car. It's like they don't trust me with anything, why would I take Drivers Ed and pass it for them not to let me drive a own personal car? Make it make sense, people. I hate depending on my mom's car or my sister to go somewhere.
"Hey, pretty lady" I playfully greet her after getting inside the vehicle. "Where're going, today?" I close the door, still with my delicious apple in hand.
She looks at me, I look at her. When our eyes meet, it isn't difficult to acknowledge that she's been sobbing. Her eyes are swollen from, I'm guessing tears of unhappiness, her cheeks as red as my blouse and her lips pursed because she is trying to hold back the tears and the sorrow.
"Oh, Ken!" I exclaim, approaching her wrapping her in my arms into a consoling hug. "What happened?"
"I'm the stupidest person on earth!" She speaks in a brittle voice.
My arms around her tightened, thus giving a much stronger and more welcoming hug.
Strange sensations float from her body to mine. With each desperate cry she let's out, I feel more of her pain, how her heart breaks into more pieces with each breath she takes.
There's no need for her to tell me what had occurred, I'd already figured the problem out, it was that guy she was hooking up with for all these weeks.
"I'll chop his balls off" she gives me a sad grin before separating our bodies from the hug.
I sigh when I get the chance to look at her again. She looks miserable.
"You want me to drive?" I ask her sincerely, trying to show as much empathy as I could, so she knew that I feel and understand what she's going through, comforting her.
She nods approving my request.
Twenty-five minutes later...
We had arrived at our destination. Our beautiful little spot.
I parked the car in the middle of the mountain highway. That was were we use to go when we need to escape all darkness of the world and let out a cry or two in case we need.
It's our special location. We could observe and appreciate the beautiful sun-rise. We could appreciate the mountain, the vegetation of the field of tiny beautiful flowers; the orange painted sky in the morning by the hot sun that was already present, the water that calmed my soul together with the sound of the birds singing. It was really calming, relaxing and peaceful. It felt like paradise in Earth.
Nevertheless, the calming tones and sounds disappear when Kendra starts weeping tears again. This time it's worse than the cries in front of my doorway, her hands rapidly moved from her thighs to her face covering her features with her tiny hands while whimpering nonstop.
This fucking idiot!
"He has a fucking girlfriend, Becca! A girlfriend" her voice breaks, "I have been the side chick all along".
"Don't beat yourself up because of an asshole. It's not your fault" I try to remind her.
"How didn't I see this coming?!" She asked I think more to herself rather to me. "How could I be so damn naïve?" Sobbing, she tilts her head back resting it on the back of the seat. A few more sobs leave her lips while she gnaws more with her thoughts.
"Hey!" I call her out bringing her back to me "This is not on you. See, he made the stupid decision to cheat on his girlfriend with you, but it doesn't mean it should destroy you. You are a strong, powerful, independent woman who doesn't need anyone to go on with life.
She still doesn't look at me.
"Rebecca, I can't do this" she says tonelessly. Her hands travel from her face to her thighs again in a swift motion.
It almost sounds like she's letting out a lot more than just this. I've had those moments, too. When you start crying about a certain thing or person, then you let your emotions carry you on and you end up not knowing what all that was about. She's not only wailing about a stupid boy who doesn't know her worth, she's shedding tears of fatigue. She is exhausted from all the stuff that goes on in her life.
Her life is not as "perfect" or "carefree" as she makes it seem. Kendra has real life problems just like any other person. I know that because she tells me everything, therefore I am her confidant. In that moment I wanted to cry with her, I wanted to let her know that she's not going through this alone.
But I can't cry in that moment, one of us has to be strong for the other.
"Don't dwell on this. Take it as a lesson: you lived it, you learned it, you overcome it and you move on without looking to the sides. Thats what the Kendra I know would do: she would brush those tears away, lift her head up and move the fuck on, you bad bitch!" Those last words I said loudly and firmly emphasizing, so she knows they're true. At this point neither do I know what exactly I was talking directly about.
Our eyes finally meet for the first time in five long minutes. I still can feel her emotions inside me, seems like our connection is that strong. Her body is still tense, so is mine. I purse my lips trying as hard as I can not to cry in this exact moment.
She does as I said and wipes the tears off of her face and proudly lifts up her chin, giving me a glance of the first genuine smile of the day. "I am a baddie, aren't I?" She smirks playfully.
The sad look is still plastered on her face, but the smile speaks louder.
"The baddest!" I hype her up, thus letting out a friendly smile.
"Can we appreciate nature's beauty for a second?"
"Thank God you asked!"
••A/N••
This chapter didn't end up as I planned it to, though I truly enjoy the way it turned out. Someone needs to hear those words, but if right now you can't hear, you can surely read it. This has a special place in my heart.
xx