Tuesday
As I am walking with Luka to statistics class I express what transpired between Sebastien and Britt.
"And I couldn't believe he could just call her an insecure whore. That was totally unnecessary and kind of downright cruel. It's like he doesn't care about the actual girls he dates," I state frowning. "He just tosses them aside when they become a nuisance to him. I hate seeing that insensitive side of him."
"Mhm," Luka says to me deep in thought.
"Britt is nice, maybe not the love of his life, but she is nice and I just don't like him acting like that. I would not put up with that if he was treating me that way," I say. I realize I'm ranting to him, but having to be stuck in the middle of that fight was intense and I need to vent.
"Well, you never dated him, have you?" He asks me which makes me grind to a halt.
"No! Definitely not, no," I say. "We are just friends." I tuck a loose curl behind my ear. "I just have watched him casually date girls for so long and never seem to truly bother with any of them. Like he is the most amazing guy and would be the perfect boyfriend, but he never shows that side of himself to other people," I say huffing. "It's not right."
"I see," he says now observing me, "You're in love with him," he declares and my mouth drops.
"Wha-what? No, I love Bash as my best friend. That is all."
He stops. "Really? Alright then." He rubs his thumb on his chin scrutinizing me. He then quirks an eyebrow. "Kiss me," he deadpans.
"Huh?" I sputter out, stopping with him. Feeling this conversation is going completely out of turn.
"Kiss me," he is full-on grinning now.
"I can't, like what. That's weird. Stop it. Where did that even come from?" I say and try to keep walking.
He blocks me, "Why not, you're single. You're attractive. You have to find me at least a little attractive. We click and have a lot in common, so kiss me. If you have 'zero feelings as you say' for Sebastien," he says putting it into air quotes and continues, "It makes sense to kiss me."
"That makes zero sense." I feel my mind going completely berserk. What is even going on. I was just complaining about Bash's love life and now Lukas is coming onto me.
"You sure about that." He leans near me. His face closes into mine. I am pretty sure I gulp out loud.
His hand goes to my face and he angles it up a question in his eyes. I just stand there gaping at him and then his lips brush mine. They're really soft and it's nice, but I feel oddly uncomfortable. Then, he just stops.
"See you're totally not into it."
I am still feeling a little dazed and shocked at what he just did before I process his words. I get myself together and say, "Wait, what do you mean?"
"I mean you should have been ripping off my clothes at this point."
It is so absurd I start laughing so hard I can't stop. From the craziness of him kissing me, watching Bash and Britt fight, I feel like laughing at this whole situation.
"And you call me the dork," I say after I finish laughing.
"I'm being serious about your feelings though," he says giving me a careful look.
"Look I like you, Luka. But I think we are better off as friends. We should not go down this path," I say not wanting to give him the wrong idea.
"Ughh my heart, you're shredding it to pieces," he sighs dramatically. "I know Emma. I feel the same. In the beginning, I went up to you because I was attracted to you, but now I consider you just my adorable friend," he explains. My eyes widen at that revelation, but he keeps going. "What I meant when I said your feelings, was me trying to prove to you that you are denying these so-called zero feelings for Sebastien. But..." He shoots me a sly grin. "Also that there are other guys out there who kiss just as great as him," and then he wags his eyebrows exaggeratedly. I stifle another laugh.
"But for real, I was just trying to make you realize you rather be kissing Sebastien. I thought you would have stopped me before I actually kissed you and confessed." He stops and laughs. "But hey that was amusing. I do truly like us as friends though and want it to stay that way. We good?" He gives me a small smile.
"Yes we're good, that really threw me off Lukas," I say to him still wrapping my mind around his weird sense of logic.
"Well, I have that effect on women," he teases and I giggle as we start walking again.
I start to mull over everything he said. "And look, Sebastien and I are just friends too. I may have slightly more feelings than him, but I will get over them eventually."
He gives me a hard look. "I don't think it's that easy Emma. I think you need to confront them head-on. Ignoring them isn't helping. Look at Jess and Jared."
I shake my head refutably. "No, no, they are just stupid feelings I have from time to time. It happens when you have attractive friends." He raises his eyebrows at my confession and I fidget with the ends of my cardigan.
"Emma, I think you have more than a passing crush on him," he declares unbelievably.
"Ughh stop it. If we keep talking about it, it makes it worse. He's dating Brittany so let's just stop," I state trying to put an end to this conversation because it is making me extremely uneasy at what he is trying to get me to admit.
"Okay, so let's discuss this passing attraction on your hot friends. I am assuming I am in this category right?" He says. I shake my head stifling my laugh.
"Hey, I just need to know I qualify since you happen to measure which guy friends are attractive of yours," he jokes.
I roll my eyes saying "sure" which he beats his hand in the air to as we walk into the lecture hall.
***