Hermitcraft Oneshots

By Anon1909

161K 3.7K 2.4K

Hello! Welcome to my hermitcraft oneshot book. Most of these were written around season 7, and I haven't kept... More

Information
There can only be one
Hermit challenges
Tea for Two (1)
Tea for 2 (2)
Mind And Mater (1)
Mind and Mater (2)
Mind and Mater (3)
Movie Night
The Other Side
Dog Fighting (1)
Dog fighting (2)
Love letters
With all of my heart (1)
With all of my heart (2)
Drunk and in love
Homesick
One Hell Of A Mess
Flesh and Blood
Scared
You've got to be KIDding me (1)
You've got to be KIDding me (2)
Tagged part two, electric boogaloo
You have to know when to let go
Who would do such a thing?
A/N
The imortal
The infant problem (1)
The todler problem (2)
Brothers
Thin Ice
Recap fluff
Vintage Beef's Vintage Cuts
Ok cupid
The ever fearless Doc
Headache
Beesumavoid
Scaredie cat? Scared of cats?
The idea of you
Xisuma
Shut up and kiss me
I'm not ok (I promise)
You're not sorry
Monophobia
The midnight ramblings of a sleep deprived poet
You are my everything
Drabbles .>.
Tag her? I barely know'er
Half-dead flowers
Telephone
Just like you
Only mortal
One, Two, Three, Four Taps
The Judge (1)
The Jury (2)
The People (3)
The Executioner (4)
Tales From Up North (Drabbles)
A Coin Flip
Bloodbending
Photograph
Dear Angel
Nightmares
Double date
Hey, are you there?
Not in love, but close enough
Tagged!
Hurt me, honey
A life with someone who loves you
A Good Snowman Is Hard To Build
I don't want to be alone
Silenced
No more what ifs
Hi, glad to see you're still here.
In some ways
Waiting, hoping, praying
No Matter Where You Turn, the Past Will Always Be Behind You
Moonfall

Oh, love! We love it!

1.5K 38 32
By Anon1909

Woo two chapters in one day Shh I got inspiration and this one was just so c u t e I had to write it <33333

Ugh, Joe x Cleo x Stress was not something I knew I needed, but now that it exists I will not be able to live without it.

Warning for panic attacks I guess? But all in all super fluffy.
———

Joe cupped his elbows, starring at the mirror with a slight look of worry. It was date night, for him at least, and well.. he couldn't decide what to wear.

"Joe, I'm sure they'll love it," Cub, who had been called in to help ease Joe's nerves, chimed in.

"You think?"

You see, Joe didn't care about his appearance- no, he looked drop dead gorgeous in everything- but, what he did care about was social norms.

And a guy in a dress? Yeah, he wasn't so sure about this date any more.

Currently, he was dressed in a fern green dress, the fabric only attracted to his skin by the straps over his shoulders and line that tightened just under his pecs, flowing out into a skirt that landed above his knee.

It was truly gorgeous, but Joe still felt conscious.

"I know they will, Joe," Cub smiled, jumping off of Joe's bed to stand behind the younger hermit.

"Mm.. do you think it's.. too much? Maybe I should just put on som-" Joe's anxieties continued to spout, fingers gripping the hem of his dress.

"Joe." Cub let out a sigh, hands going to rest on Joe's shoulders, giving a small sort of back massage.

"I'm sure they will love it. Though, if I were to give a suggestion.."

Cub leaned forwards, beard hairs tickling the back of Joe's mouth as he whispered into the younger' ear.
———

Cleo: we still on for tonight?
Stress: hell yeah!
Joe: Yep!
Sent ten minutes ago.

Joe held his breath as he stared down at his communicator, heart slamming against his chest at breakneck pace, so fast, in fact, Joe could have sworn his ribs were broken. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

He sat on the town hall roof, palms clammy as he tried to calm himself down. He was only a few dozen blocks away from Cleo and Stress, who were standing on the path leading away from the shopping district portal.

He had heard both of them arrive a few minutes earlier, and while he had been sitting there for a few minutes, he couldn't bring himself to dry his tears.

Cub had talked him into an even fancier dress, a dull cyan tea length dress, with a silk bow under his pecs. The bottom layer of the dress was soft and silky, the top layer an intricate web of lace. A purse hung off his shoulder, the same color as dress with a long chain to hold on to. He had even worn heels!

His hair, which was already quite long, was swept back and styled. He had given in and applied some makeup, light pink lipstick, eyeshadow to match his dress, and he had even worked up enough confidence to put in some diamond earrings.

He looked beautiful, he felt beautiful. But..

What would Cleo and Stress think?

Cleo: Joe? You good?
Stress: ever gonna show, ya plonka'?

Joe took a deep breath as he felt his phone vibrate, and with shaking hands, texted back.

Joe: promise not to laugh?

He got a response almost immediately.

Cleo: What? Of course not!
Stress: love, we'd never laugh at you <3

The poet took in a long breath, slowly climbing to his feet and extending his wings.

Joe: um, close your eyes.

Joe slowly glided down from the top of the town hall, landing with grace in front of Cleo and Stress, who's eyes were closed, as instructed.

"Um.. just.. promise me.. you won't make fun of me.. if you don't.. like it.. I can leave and we don't have to.. speak about this again.. but.." Joe's voice cracked and broke, and he sounded scared, like he had been crying.. and fair to him, both of those things were true.

"Joe? Everyfin' alright?" Stress' voice was distinct as ever, and while she was worried, she didn't open her eyes.

"Yeah, Joe, you know we're here for you." This time it was Cleo's turn to reassure.

"Alright.. um.. open your eyes."

Cleo and Stress did as instructed, and when they saw the sight before them, their smiles were bigger than the sun.

Joe wore a timid smile, one leg behind the other in a curtsy, dress fanned out and held up by his hands.

"Uh.. hi.. um.. if you don't like i-" Joe was cut off as undead arms wrapped around his waist, cool lips crashing against his.

Very distinctly Cleo, and Joe was so caught off guard that he forgot to kiss back.

By the time Cleo pulled away, Stress had squeezed the air out of his lungs with a hug. Both the women had smiles on their faces, and Joe couldn't help but blush and smile back.

"So.. um.. do you.. like it?" Joe asked shyly.

"Like it! Oh love, we love it!" More kisses were peppered all over his face, a mix of kisses and heat turning his face radioactivity red.

"I'm.. glad.. I just thought.." Joe trailed off, eyes downcast. Long lashes met cheeks every time he blinked, god, Cleo and Stress couldn't help but think, he was gorgeous.

Stress' musical laugh ring through the air, taking a step off of Joe. "Thought what? Love, we're both in suits! How is that any different!"

It was only now that Joe took a second to look at his partner's appearances, and just as advertised, they were both wearing suits.

Stress' was ivory, and Christ it looked amazing on her. The silk tie colored similarly to the paper, cufflinks- one a star, the other a moon to match. Dashing. Gorgeous. Drop dead beautiful.

And Cleo.. in a suit of pure black that complemented her decrepit skin, fabric so velvety and smooth Joe could just sink his fingers into it and get lost forever. Her long ginger locks swept into a purposely crude bun, lips quirked into a smile-

Oh god, Joe was the luckiest bastard in the world.

"I.. I suppose.." Joe's feet drew together, head hanging low as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well.. I feel awkward now!"

A small giggle pierced the air, Stress', and she pulled Joe into a small kiss on the cheek. "Here," she said, "these are for you."

Stress produced a bundle of alliums from her inventory, the magenta buds melting with the light of the setting sun.

Joe delicately took the bundle of flowers, cheeks glowing slightly with embarrassment as he received them.

"Thanks.." he murmured lowly, giving a shy, grateful peck to his girlfriend's cheek.

"C'mon, we have a date to get to!"
———

And so they did.

They sat and chatted around a table in a small, makeshift restaurant that Cub had made just for the occasion.

The pharaoh himself served food, not at all surprised to see how easily the girls had accepted Joe.

They each got an intricate meal- steak (medium rare) and potatoes for Cleo, spicy tofu (mild) and rice for Stress, and spaghetti (fettuccini, al dente) with meatballs for Joe.

They chatted and giggled, sipped wine and shared meals (Joe in particular blushed violently every time Cleo or Stress fed him something, so of course they did it until they finished their meals), it was truly wonderful.

Joe ended up having to be carried, wine and food mixing in his stomach nearly lulling him to sleep.

He did very much enjoy the feeling of being cradled in Cleo's arms, and made a mental note of it for later.

All in all? It was a good experience all around.

They ended up falling asleep together on Joe's bed, limbs intertwined and breaths blended.

Yeah, they were good.

Very good indeed.
———

Oh god I'm so soft for Joe <3

Btw this was the dress, but instead of navy it's dull cyan.


Probably angst next if I get my shit together (though maybe tsundere Etho fluff???)

-yours, soft boi for soft bois

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