Some flufffffff~
Uh beef x keralis is underrated as hell
No warnings, and suggested song is 'The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage' by Panic! At the disco, wattpad wouldn't let me link :(
———
Keralis let out a slight giggle, eyes wide, almost insane with glee.
If Beef didn't know better, he'd say the business man was high.
"Well! If you think I'll cheat, let's put it to a gamble! Something fair and square." Keralis' voice sung like a siren, so sweet it was sickly, and charming enough to drag Beef under.
The butcher's eyes sharpened to points, brows furrowed as he attempted to calculate the best possible plan to come out on top of this situation.
"What, like poker? Roulette?" The Canadian kept his voice even, slick as ever, and charming, though in a way that was far more.. benevolent than Keralis.
"I was thinking something far more.. simple.."
Keralis produced something from his pocket, a small, shining disk of silver.
"Wait- you want to put all of our grievances to a coin flip?"
"Do we have a deal?"
"Yes."
Keralis grinned, the smile so disgustingly familiar it sent a shiver down Beef's spine.
"I'll let you throw, my little kebab, just so you know it's fair."
God, even that ridiculous nickname sounded like the sweetest..
Beef was caught off guard as Keralis' quarter flew in his face, and he barely had enough time to catch it, fingers fumbling as he managed to secure the coin in his fingers.
"Heads or tails?" Beef asked, trying to ignore the way Keralis stared at him.
The gambler shook his head, making a slight 'tsk tsk tsk' noise. "Ah, my little kebab, once it's in the air we bet. Now hurry, hurry! Throw! Throw!"
Beef let out a flustered sigh, holding the coin in the right position.
Beef flicked the coin up into the air, waiting for it to reach the apex of its ark before calling out.
"Heads!"
Now to wait and see.
It tumbled through the air, the late evening light glinting off of it as it flipped..
It hit the ground, rolling slightly to the side before landing on-
"Tails!" Keralis cheered, giggling like a madman as he grabbed Beef's apron.
He pulled the slightly bloodied apron forwards, yanking Beef off balance.
The younger hermit stumbled, over-correcting slightly, almost falling flat to the ground. He was only saved by Keralis' grip, and while he was saved from the fall, he wasn't saved from the embarrassment of having his face mere inches from Keralis'.
"Aw, my little kebab, looks like you lost." A light snicker grazed his lips, and Beef found his face heating up at the nickname.
Beef was just staring into Keralis' wide eyes, those beau- oh my god.
Tongue and teeth brushed each other as lips crashed, together, one sided for a few seconds, before Beef remembered to kiss back.
Just as soon as it came, however, it was lost, Keralis' grin wider than a strider's.
"I will come back tomorrow for Matilda. See you later, my little Kebab."
———
Keralis let out a whine, inviting himself to sprawl over Xisuma's lap.
"Oh! Sheshwhamy! I just don't know what to do!"
The Swedes lower lip was extended in a melodramatic pout, saucer sized eyes half lidded, long lashes flattened in a huff of sadness.
"Uh- hi Keralis?" Xisuma let out a short, nervous chuckle, suddenly aware of another presence swaddled in his lap.
Keralis let out a slight whine, "Hm! That little kebab! He steals my Matilda, gambles with me, and then he- oh, sheshwhamy! His lips! They're so soft!"
The gambler frowned, very clearly conflicted. He had learned very early on that he wasn't good at hiding his emotions, so instead he chose to project them in the most flamboyant way possible.
It allowed him to be flashy with a purpose, and while it could get annoying to others, it suited him just fine.
"Sounds to me like you have a crush," Xisuma, ever the knowledge, supplied.
"Me!? Have a crush?!" Keralis sat up straight in Xisuma's arms, practically straddling the admin's lap. "Unbelievable, Sheshwhamy! You got it right again!"
"Oh- uh, thanks." Xisuma let out a slight sigh, wrapping his arms around Keralis' waist so the gambler didn't fall off his lap.
A light sigh danced on Keralis' lips, lower one extended in a pout. "Ugh! What should I do! I can't let the kebabers know I like him! That will ruin my reputation! Ruin it, I tell you!"
"Well, you're telling me, and it doesn't change my opinion of you."
"Yes, well, you're different, Sheshwhamy!" Keralis finished his sentence with a huff, head turned to the side of Xisuma.
"I still don't know what you want me to do about it," Xisuma really wanted to help, but this seemed like the kind of thing Keralis and Beef would have to sort out on their own.
"Me neither! And I have to go pick up Matilda tomorrow! Oh! What am I to do, dear Sheshwhamy-void?" What, was Keralis quoting Shakespeare now?
He let out something between a sob and a sigh, arms draping around Xisuma's waist as he rested his head on the admin's shoulders.
"You could.. tell him how you feel?" Xisuma suggested, knowing it was the most boring, yet best suggestion he could give, by a long shot.
"Did you not hea- oh Sheshwhamy! Fine! If you're so insistent! I will throw all of my pride out the window and take your suggestion!" Keralis didn't shift his tone, but seeming to realize Xisuma was right, changed up his words.
"Thank you?" Xisuma didn't really know how to respond to that, but as soon as he did, he was met with a kiss to the visor and the sound of rockets.
Like a thief in the night..
———
Ok, Beef, you've calmed down so now you ca- damnit!
Beef couldn't sleep, blankets over his body but under his arms as he stared at the vaulted ceiling of his hacienda.
His cerulean eyes glared at the ceiling, as if angry at the ornate quartz and gold block patterns built there.
God damn it- of all the people to crush on?
Keralis?
Really?
The guy he had known for god knows how long, with eyes as big as the moon, an attitude problem, voice as smooth as silk, lips softer than-
Oh come on, Beef! You've done it again!
He lets out a long sigh, turning on his side to cover the side of his head with a pillow. He'd think about this in the morning.
———
Morning had come all too fast.
Beef stumbled over himself as he rushed a shower, threw on his normal attire, brushed his beard, and grabbed mat1lda's leash (he didn't have the real Matilda, and llama's were somewhat easy to confuse, right?)
He woke up thirty minutes before he was supposed to meet Keralis, and it didn't help that he felt the need to look presentable for the older hermit.
God, what was happening to him? Why did he feel the need to loom good for Keralis, of all people!
He felt like a teenager again, though standing in the middle of a field with a counter-fit llama wasn't how he remembered his youth.
His lips painted themselves in a slight frown, fingers nestled into Mat1ldas hair. Llama fur was impossibly soft, so it helped calm his heart and prepare him for the encounter ahead.
Ugh! Since when did meeting Keralis require preparation?
Beef pondered this question for some time, so enamored with his own thoughts he almost didn't register the sound of rockets, indicating a certain polish born Swede with big eyes and a missing llama- who will remain unnamed- had finally decided to show.
"Hello there, my little Kebab! Thank you for meeting with me!" Keralis giggled lightly, taking a step closer to Beef. The smile that danced on his lips was infectious, and so Beef couldn't help but mirror it as Keralis got close.
A light kiss was laid on his cheek, and the blush Beef gave rivaled the sun.
"Oh- um- hi!" Beef stuttered out, grinning like an idiot.
He held the lead attaching Mat1lda more tightly than he may have intended, but he just couldn't help it, heart fluttering like a humming bird's.
"Well, I'll just collect- Wait a minute.." keralis' eyes sharpened to points, sticking his face close to Mat1lda's.
He seemed to sniff the llama a little bit, squinting as he extended his hand to touch Mat1lda's head.
"This isn't Matilda!"
Beef winced, all but confirming Keralis' suspicions. (99% sure I spelled that wrong, but autocorrect is kicking my ass today)
The butcher soon found himself on the floor, Keralis straddling his waist to keep his back to the ground. "Keralis- what the hell!" Beef yelled, beyond flustered.
"You lied to me, little kebab!" Keralis tutted, leaning forwards so his face was millimeters away from Beef's.
"And now, you must pay! Yes! Pay indeed!"
Beef gulped.
"You have to go on a date with me!"
"What?" Ok, of all the things Beef was expecting, a date wasn't one.
"Five o'clock! In the shopping district! Friday! Do not be late!"
And with that, he was gone again.
———
Ugh, love them <3
I might do a Joe x Cleo x Stress thing because hhh
It wasn't something I knew I needed, but now that I've seen it I will not be able to live with out it.
-yours, CleoJoeStressssss shipper