IM BACK BABY! I'm gonna keep updating this story this whole month until it's finished, I'm sorry for taking so much time off from writing but my life has been crazy since the last chapter I wrote and my mental health took a huge decline but I'm finally back, I hope y'all enjoy this extra long chapter, thanks for waiting for me and Merry Christmas everybody, I love you all :)
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No one had spoke a word since Lydia Greystone's almost death, there wasn't any words to say. What could you say to someone who died right in front of you? I'm sorry? Are you okay? We almost lost you! Nothing felt quite right, and they each knew what the answer to each of their questions would be, it's not your fault, no, I know.
It was all Bill could think about as the losers found themselves crowding around the once dead woman. Lyds had been the only person to be able to understand the same loss that he had faced when he was a child, back then he had so many words to say to her and now there was so little. They'd both seen terrible things, but the thing was the woman had a child now and so Bill knew they couldn't let her experience any more suffering, that the connection had to be broken in order for her and her child to live a safe and somewhat trauma free life. And the link in their chain that needed to be destroyed was Pennywise, even if that took taking one of them with it.
"Lyds." Richie was the first to speak but still his tired eyes didn't meet hers. "You almost died..." his lip quivered.
"It's okay Rich." She half smiled and pulled the taller man into her arms before he had any time to protest at all. "I'm right here... I'm not leaving you. Any of you."
That was all it took for the rest of the losers to crumble into her. She could feel Mike's warm hand pressed against her shoulder and Bev's hair on her cheek and her husband's chest pressed to her back. She wanted to cry, to crack and crumble, but Lyds knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't be the one to break, she had to be the strong one for them.
"I'm okay. It's okay." The blonde woman chuckled and she kissed the top of Richie's head before shoving him and the rest of the losers away. "We all knew I was dead on the inside anyway, what makes a difference if it's on the outside too?"
"You're so morbid Lyds." Ben wiped his eyes with a soft laugh, he gently placed an arm around her helping her up into a sitting position, "God don't ever scare me like that again."
"Any of us. You got that?" Bill added
"Of course, I mean if I died who would be here to annoy you guys?"
"And make us smile." Eddie shone a beaming grin, one of sheer relief, at his wife before all but snatching her from Ben's grasp with an arm around her shoulders of his own.
"I almost just threw up."
"Shut up Richie!" Eddie snapped, barely even sparing his friend a look before he captured his wife's face in the palms of his hands, stopping dead still. "God I-I don't know what to say L."
"Don't say anything." She told him, placing her hands over his own, "Because I'm right here. I'm still right here."
"But you almost weren't." A stray tear fell from Eddie's eye and Lyds was quick to wipe it away, not allowing herself the pain of seeing the love of her love cry tears for her untimely demise.
"No crying Eds." She whispered. "You loser."
"I was always more of a lover." He forced a smile and before he knew it her arms were around his shoulders, trapping his body against her own. She pulled him down beside her against the wooden boards she'd died atop of, hiding her face in his shoulder and fighting her own inner conflict of whether to let her husband see her pain and anguish over what had just happened or to show her happiness of seeing him again when moments before all she could see was darkness. She was truly stuck between a rock and a hard place.
To show pain? Or to be the strong one?
"I'm never going anywhere. Not again. Not while I have you. Not while I have a reason to stay." She cracked, her tears began to pour, yet still she beamed the most beautiful smile.
She chose both.
To feel did not make her weak. She knew that now.
"I fucking love you Greystone." Eddie murmured, flicking her hair between his fingers, tears pouring freely, "I always have."
"I know Eddie, me too."
Eddie Kaspbrak practically felt his heart burst at those words. He'd always known he'd never been his wife's first crush, but he did know that he was her first love and that was all he could ever ask for; her first and her last. The man had thought he'd never hear her utter such words again so to hear even a simple "me too" it sent his mind completely haywire. There had never been anyone like Lydia Kaspbrak, and there never would be again. At least not to him.
"I'll never stop." He spoke once he pulled away, his palms still around her waist.
"Neither will I."
"I'm sorry guys, but we gotta keep moving." Mike spoke up, separating the lovers before they'd had a moment. "Glad to have you back Lyds."
"Mike you are the only one of us who could make her dying sound like a fucking job interview." Richie snorted, taking the torch from the older man's hand and pushing himself to his feet. "Come on dickheads let's keep moving!"
"I hate him." Eddie narrowed his eyes, pulling his love closer to him than he ever had before.
"Me too." Lyds chuckled, if hate meant love.
"Never fucking do some stupid shit like that again, okay? Or next time I'm diving right in after you."
"You didn't do that the first time?"
"Bill beat me to it." Eddie gulped, "I tried to resuscitate you though!"
"After I did!" Bill called to him with a teasing smile.
"Maybe I should just marry Bill."
"How about you fucking don't?" Her husband raised a brow, the softest yet most gentle laugh she'd ever heard left his throat. "Stay married to me."
"I couldn't leave you if I tried Eds."
"God only knows..."
"Uh Mike? Where do we go from here?" Richie called, suddenly realising he in fact had no clue what had to happen next.
"Give me my damn torch!" The Hanlon man hissed, taking it back and pointing it at a hatch on the ground, the exact one Lyds was sat upon.
"You're telling me I just died on this thing?"
"That's right. A sacrifice had to be given. We know that now."
"What did you just say?" Beverley asked, her eyes never leaving Mike's. "A sacrifice?"
All of the losers froze, all except for Lyds, who's head turned towards her friend with an unfathomable expression on her face.
"Mike. What do you mean?" She spoke, scarily calm.
"The Shokopiwah said a blood sacrifice had to be given to enter the creatures domain. I'd hoped that since they'd already given one it wouldn't be the case for us, but I was wrong."
"So you knew? You knew that there was a chance one of us would have to be sacrificed?"
"I-" he hesitated, "Yes... I knew. When Bill dragged you out of the water I saw your wounds, that's why I dragged you on top of the hatch, just in case I was wrong."
"Mike what the fuck?" Richie's eyes widened in horror
"A sacrifice... I was a goddamn sacrifice! What the fuck Mike?" The woman outburst climbing to her feet.
Lyds had never known anger like it, never felt her blood boil so hot and had never felt her stomach drop so hard. Mike was supposed to be her friend, he knew, he knew what needed to be done and still he let her die. He was ready to make Eddie a widow, and Sebastian an orphan, her family. How could he?
Lydia grit her teeth and raised her fist to land a blow straight across Mike's cheek, to get all of her anger out, but before she could even understand what was happening Eddie was between them, his hands raised to Mike's throat.
"Did you fucking know?" Eddie grabbed him by the collar before anyone could stop him.
Mike tried to fight back but Eddie had never known such adrenaline in his life, and so he tugged Mike to the precipice of the toys and held him over the edge, right above the murky water and the unknown beneath. Mike choked and pulled at Eddie's arms, pleading with him to let him back up but there was no way in hell he was going to budge, he'd rather die.
"Eddie come on let me-"
"Did you fucking know Mike?"
"I hoped that it wasn't true!"
"You sacrificed me?" Lydia's voice cracked behind them, "We're supposed to be friends Mike."
The betrayal had hurt worse than her death.
"We are friends!"
"Friends don't try to kill each other!"
"She was already dead when we pulled her out of the water! The Shokopiwah said a blood sacrifice had to be given, I hoped that because they'd already given one that that meant we wouldn't have to! I told you! One of us had to pay the price!"
"Yeah, and my wife fucking paid it!"
"Eddie let him go!"
"Shut up Ben!"
"Please Eds." Mike begged
"Don't- don't fucking call me that! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't drop your fucking ass-"
"He's the only one who can get us out of here Eddie." Lyds called to him, her anger dissipating. "Let him up."
"He used you Lyds, who's to say he wouldn't have just killed you himself? I can't just let that go-"
"No one said you had to."
"Listen to your wife man." Mike pleaded which only made Eddie push him closer to the edge if that were possible.
"You're not a murderer Eddie."
"What if I am L?" His whole body trembled with anger, his knuckles burnt a bright white, "I want to let go."
"He's our friend."
"He used you! You were dead and he fucking used you as his sacrifice!"
"It was either me or all of you. It's just like you said, I was dead already. It had to be me."
"I hate this Lyds." He bit his lip so hard it began to bleed, "I wanna get you out of here. I wanna go home."
"Then let's go home. Let Mike back up. You have to."
Silently, Eddie pulled Mike back from the edge and collapsed into his wife's arms, shaking with the pure adrenaline that had flooded his body. He'd never seen such a side to himself; he'd wanted to kill him.
"I got you." She whispered, stroking his hair. "I got you."
"I want him dead!" Eddie sobbed, hardly noticing the pained eyes of his loved ones stood over them. "Fuck you Mike!"
Mike sat beside the hatch, wordlessly rubbing at his neck and wiping his stray tears. Nobody said a word.
"Come on let me help you guys up." Bev was the first to speak, walking by Mike and straight over to her two friends.
Bev clasped her hand with Lydia's, squeezing it ever so gently as she pulled her up from the ground. Together they both wrapped an arm beneath Eddie's shoulders, forcing him to his feet. He could hardly tear his eyes away from Mike, even with the tears clouding them.
"In the depths is where it crept. In the beneath to find belief. In the depths is where it crept. In the beneath to find belief." The Hanlon man repeated over and over again, pointing his torch at the hatch once more.
"Get up Mike." Bill mumbled shamefully, forcing the tired man up from the ground.
"In the depths is where it crept..."
"Is he okay?" Ben asked
"I think at this point that's a relative question." Richie swallowed
"In the beneath to find belief."
"What's on the other side?" Beverly asked, her hand still tightly clasped to her best friends as they all stared upon the rotten wood.
"I don't know. No one does."
"A sacrifice for the unknown?" Eddie mumbled in hatred, "Makes sense."
And just like that Mike tore the small door open, pointing his torch into the underground.
"Well, see you down there." He nodded before he completely dropped out of sight. He truly was a mad man.
"Mike!" Everyone yelled, desperately trying to grab at any part of him, but it was no use, he was already gone.
"Fuck!" Bill hissed
"I guess we're going after him." Richie sighed
Eddie let out a heavy breath, "I can't. I can't do it."
"What?"
"I can't! You saw what I did back there. I was gonna let you die Bev, I just fucking froze up. I was gonna kill Mike, if you let me go down there with you I'm gonna get you all killed." The brunette gasped, desperately taking a hit from his inhaler.
"Let it go Eddie!" Richie snapped wrestling the small piece of plastic from his grasp as Eddie still tried to spray any remaining residue in his mouth, "Let it go!"
Quickly, the Tozier man forced the device into his wife's pocket before the smaller man could reach for it again and grabbed Eds by both shoulders, forcing him to stare up into his eyes.
"Look Eddie you had a moment there - fine! But tell me - who killed a psychotic clown before he turned 14?"
"Me."
"Who stabbed Bowers with a knife he pulled out of his own face?"
"Also me."
"Who married a woman ten times hotter than him?"
"Me!"
"And who fought for her when our friend tried to sacrifice her?"
"I did!"
"Exactly... You're braver than you think."
"Thanks Richie."
"Here." Beverly called to him, passing him her spear that had once been just another picket in Neibolt's fence. "It kills monsters."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. If you believe it does."
"Thanks Bev."
Just like that, Eddie made his way towards the hatch, sitting at the top and bracing himself for impact once he hit the bottom. His eyes were screwed shut and his fingers gripped the edges, almost as if he was at the top of a rollercoaster that only ever went down. He felt so utterly and completely alone, at the precipice, just like Mike had been, that was until he felt the ghost of his wife's breath on his cheek.
"You ready Eds? Im right here with you sweetheart." Her hand found his.
"Right where you belong... I think I'm ready L, are you?"
The woman pondered for a moment. "No. But I have you, so I'll be okay."
"I fucking love you Greystone." He grabbed her face, kissing her with every piece of his soul left in him. "See you on the other side."
And before she could even say it back he was gone.
"Your turn Lyds." Bev told her and just like that, before anyone could think to stop her, she jumped right of the edge.
There was no Lyds without Eddie, so despite it all, despite Mike, and dying, and not being ready, she jumped anyway. Because she knew. Wherever she ended up, whatever happened, even if there was nothing on the other side, Eddie Kaspbrak would always be waiting there for her.
Some way.
Somehow.