After a long day of serving coffee to college students and having fake marital spats at the gym I was beat. Alice called around closing to try and alleviate her Friday night boredom, but I wasn't in the mood to go out. Instead we decided on a girl's night in. I text Manny, but in a stroke of luck he had plans with his own friends.
While I had lived in the same cheap apartment I'd rented since graduation, Alice tended to get restless. She also had a much larger bank account to ease that restlessness. The townhouse she lived in now was modern and new, so new in fact it had been built on a patch of land that had been nothing but miles of trees until a couple years ago. That meant every installation in her house was practically factory fresh...but the neighborhood itself was on an undeveloped patch of earth off the interstate where it took thirty minutes to get to anything interesting, including her job. She hated it.
We sat in the living room; relaxing on her nice pristine furniture and sipping homemade cocktails.
She took a sip of daiquiri and melted into her plush leather sofa. "I got to get away from all these damn kids."
"They aren't doing anything." I smiled and watched children running and dancing on the other-side of her big sliding glass doors. Outside in a world of quick-built homes that wrapped around the landscape, some of her neighbors congregated near a murky retention pond advertised as a lake.
"You hear all that damn screaming?"
"It's Friday night. Let the kids enjoy their weekend."
The exfoliating mask she wore made her look like some sort of sad deflated creature as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. "Why can't children enjoy themselves quietly?"
"Aw, how cute!" I turned to watch a couple of cute two-year olds toddling toward lakes edge. "They're feeding the ducks. So sweet."
She picked up the remote and started flipping through categories. "Their parents are morons."
"...Is one of them trying to swim in that dirty ass water?"
She kissed her teeth. "A two-year old almost drowned in that pond a few months ago."
I couldn't look away. "Didn't anyone teach them not to swim in stagnant Florida waters?"
"That baby's probably gonna get got by a gator, so stand-by for this evening's entertainment."
"Probably snakes in that bitch too."
"In the daytime there's a turtle. My uncle Bobby was over once when he came out. Talked about catching him and making a turtle stew. Can't take that country fucker nowhere."
"I've never had turtle before. Had deer, rabbit, and gator but no turtle."
"It's a'ight."
"You know, the meat market on Forsyth has kangaroo too."
"They can keep that shit."
I laughed and grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoved it into my mouth. "Oh! I've had bison and shark jerky. That counts."
"I've had goat."
"That's not exotic."
"It is to me."
I munched popcorn from behind pursed lips. "You're really harshing my Friday night vibe. Fix that stank attitude or I'm putting on a musical."
She clutched the remote tighter at my threat. "Sorry. I'm thinking about selling."
"Again?" I told her not to buy. There's nothing out there, I said. You'll get bored, I said. The commute to work is ass, I said. People should just listen to me the first time.
"It's just not the right fit."
I took a gulp of my daiquiri to hide the little smirk playing at my lips. It wasn't funny, but it was so Alice. "You know what I think?"
"I do not—"
"I think you're bored. Maybe you'd complain less if you had one of those badass kids to run after."
She made the sign of the cross with her fingers. "The power of Christ compels you!"
I laughed and sat up. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"
"You know I'm not ready for that serious shit."
"Alright. So, what do you want to watch?"
"I hear there's a new Tyler Perry joint on BET."
I grabbed some M&M's and started popping them in my mouth like they were fresh raspberries. "Hard pass."
"Okay. We'll just do Netflix then."
I cleared my throat. "Speaking of serious shit."
"Interesting segue, but okay." With her free hand she began munching on chips.
"Manny told me he loved me last night."
"Whoa!" She sprung forward, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, don't leave me in suspense. Did you say it back?"
I took a deep breath, opened my mouth, paused then took a long gulp of booze. My girl had a heavy hand, so I was already pretty buzzed. "I said, 'that's cool'."
"Oh my God, you bitch!" She threw back her head and howled with such loud laughter I worried the neighbors would hear and call an ambulance.
"Yeah, okay. Laugh it up."
When she caught her breath, she leaned over and gave me a playful pat on the leg. "What is the matter with you?"
"He dropped it on me during sex."
She snorted back another laugh at that. "Way to bury the lede. What the fuck's wrong with him?"
"I don't know. I think he got carried away."
"Well?"
"Well, what?"
"Do you love him?"
"It's so soon!"
"Soon? You've known him for about a year, right?"
"But we've only been dating for six months!"
"Six? Girl, that's a lifetime."
"I don't know..."
She wagged her finger like a power tripping Sunday school teacher. "You're scared."
"Am not."
She started rocking side to side to an imaginary melody. "Evie and Manny sittin' in a tree."
"No ma'am!"
"K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
"Is it 2001? Are we eleven?"
"First comes love, then comes—"
"Don't you dare finish that!"
"Ah ha!" She pointed that manicured finger again. "There's what you're really scared of."
"And why shouldn't I be? That's a serious thing."
She stopped fighting it and pulled the bowl of chips from the table to her lap. "You're the one who always said you don't date for fun. What's the end game if not marriage?"
"I don't know. It seems so fast."
"Life is fast in general. Don't overthink it."
"You think I'm overthinking?"
"Definitely. You do that sometimes, but I get it. You have to make very calculated choices in your life—"
"And I shouldn't calculate love?"
"Oh, girl, I wouldn't go that far. Don't bring no bums home, but, you know, maybe just see where it goes."
Decent advice. "How 'bout you, Ms. Thang? Seeing anyone serious?"
"Nah. I'm free as a bird." The hand that wasn't holding a clump of pizza flavored chips flapped in a perfect imitation of a bird.
"And happy?"
"You know me. I'm not one of those people who needs to be with someone at all times." She tossed the chips in her mouth and gave the rest of her muffled discourse with a mouthful. "I got my good job. A nice-ish home even with the brat-pack out there. My health. Hella hobbies. I'm good."
"Prospects?"
"I always have prospects. I'm too fly not to."
I raised my glass in cheers. "Well, alright then."
We spent the night streaming movies. All kinds of movies. Movies we'd been meaning to watch forever and movies we'd never heard of. No genre, but musicals, was off limits though we favored so bad it's hilarious D movies where the acting was half-assed, the wigs were trash, and the plot was bullshit. By midnight I had a belly full of snacks and booze, freshly painted fingernails, and if felt like we'd laughed all our cares away. I even felt better about the Manny situation. Nothing wrong with somebody loving you.
"Let me tell you what happened today." I said as she was turning off the T.V.
"More happened?"
"My new client is this woman named Alexis Dupont." I paused for dramatic effect. "She's Diana Dupont's daughter."
"Dupont like, Dupont Cosmetics?"
"Yes!"
"I love her!"
"Me too!"
"That woman was such a fucking boss."
"Hell yeah! I gave a presentation on her in college. She started from nothing then got a scholarship; first in her family to graduate then she started DuPont. She was my idol."
"You don't have to give me the spiel, I know!" She started collecting the various empty snack bowls on the coffee table. "And her coconut cream tightening gel works wonders."
I gave my hair a little fluff. "I'm wearing the argan infused leave-in pudding now."
"And that shit looks good as hell!"
'Thank you." I grabbed half the dishes and followed her to the kitchen.
"You remember those old commercials from the 90s? 'DuPont Cosmetics. Your hair will thank you'." She started loading the dishwasher.
"Yeah! They had the curl pudding, the coconut cream deep conditioner, the repairing honey, and the avocado styling butter."
She mimicked the voice over actor's deep, creamy voice. "DuPont. A Feast for your Hair."
"So cheesy but I'll be damned it if doesn't work."
"So, what did the daughter want?"
I passed her the bowls in my hands and sighed. "Some family squabble with her sister. A necklace is missing, and she wants me to look through her sisters' stuff."
A look of puzzlement settled across her brow. "How you gonna do that?"
"The funeral is tomorrow. They're having the repass at the house."
"Diana's house?"
"Yeah. That's where the necklace was supposed to be and where her sister lives."
She closed the door to the dishwasher with a flourish and gave a hop of excitement. "I got to go too."
"What?"
"Let me come!"
"Alice..."
"It's a once in a lifetime opportunity to be in the home of one of the greats."
"It's work."
"I'll help you."
"How?"
"Wingmen are for more than just getting ass, Evie."
"You should put that one on a tee shirt."
She clasped her hands together in prayer. "Come on..."
I'm pretty sure she just wants to be nosy. But what are friends for if they won't take you as a plus one to rich people events? "Ugh, fine. But do what I say. This is a funeral not a museum tour. We need to behave like mourners."
"You're the boss." She saluted me—with her left hand by the by—and started moving toward the stairs. "I have the perfect outfit for this."
"No club attire, please. This is a black-tie event...emphasis on the black."
"I know!"
I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. A good night's sleep was imperative to a good investigation. And, well, I needed to pick out the perfect outfit for hobnobbing with some of Burenville's most elite.