Erin sank into the mountain of bubbles erupting from her bathtub and rested her head against the little inflatable pillow she’d suctioned to the wall. Despite having her own bathroom, she rarely got to relax in it. Alyssa took more bubble baths in here than she did.
But she had a very important “first date” to prepare for so she’d decided that today was the day to pamper herself.
Erin couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face at the term “first date”. It really did seem absurd to call it that when she’d been with Brody for so long. The idea of a first date usually conjured up images of anxiety, hesitant conversation, and awkward goodbyes. There would not be any of that with Brody.
Come to think of it, there never had been any of that with Brody. Being with him had happened so easily, so naturally, that there wasn’t anything awkward about it at all. The anxiety. . .well, that had happened for different reasons. Mostly from her fear that every man she’d ever meet would just be a repeat of her ex-husband.
Thankfully, Brody had shown her in a very short time that he was not just another Tyler. Once again she found herself petitioning heaven that Brody really was sent from above and that God had good things in store for her. For them.
What sort of good things she was referring to, she wasn’t quite sure. She knew her life didn’t feel right without Brody in it and that they were both serious about the relationship. But what did that mean?
Kelly’s comment about wedding bells echoed in her ears.
Is that what she was hoping for?
It seemed much too soon to even think about such things. How could she possibly know Brody well enough to even consider marrying him? As she’d told herself before, she’d known Tyler for years before she’d married him and she hadn’t really known him at all. At least not in the way that it mattered.
How had she missed seeing him for who he really was? How had she never realized he was the type of man capable of walking out on his family? Had he really changed so much over the course of their marriage or had there been signs she’d just been too blind to see?
The bigger issue, the bigger question she needed to answer was: how did she keep herself from being blind this time? How did she make sure she saw Brody for exactly who he was?
Because deep down she realized that she didn’t want to “play the field”. She had no interest in casually dating a series of men until she found the “right” one. She didn’t want her heart to be played with and broken a bunch of times before she found the man willing to commit to her and Alyssa. And she didn’t want Alyssa hurt in that process either.
She needed to find that guy: the one who had his heart and priorities in the right place, who was looking for a lifelong commitment to a family, who would love and serve her and Alyssa until he met his maker.
And more than anything, she wanted Brody to be that guy.
She had to admit, even though she hadn’t realized it, she was hoping for wedding bells. It just wasn’t in the same lovey-dovey, romantic sense with which she used to fantasize. Her life and her perspective had changed so much when Tyler betrayed her and it certainly changed the way she viewed a future wedding and marriage. It was all about the meat in the relationship, about the stuff that truly mattered. The fluff was gone. She wanted something that would last.
Despite acknowledging that Kelly was right, it didn’t change her uncertainty. Did Brody look at their relationship in the same way? And ultimately, was he really the right guy?
Erin sighed, shifting and popping the bubbles in front of her. So much for that relaxing bubble bath she wanted to take before her first date. Her mind wouldn’t allow it.
She shoved her in-depth self-analysis to the back of her mind and concentrated on prepping for her date. It wouldn’t do to still be in the tub with only one shaved leg when Brody arrived at her doorstep.
* * * * * * * * * *
Her “preparations” were worth the effort because Brody let out an appreciative whistle when he came to pick her up that evening. She’d chosen a simple skirt and halter top but opted for a sandal with a heel since she knew Brody liked them. She’d also pulled her hair back and donned make-up and jewelry, not stuff part of her every day routine.
“And who is this lovely thing before me?” Brody asked when he stepped through her door. “You look like you’re ready for a date with someone special.”
Erin grinned and rolled her eyes. “You got the date part right. The someone special. . . .well, I haven’t decided yet.”
Brody looked genuinely wounded and Erin couldn’t decide if he truly was or had just perfected the art of acting.
“I’m kidding Brody, you know that.” She assured him.
He reached for her hand, pulling her against him. “You better be. ‘Cause you’re pretty important to me.”
Erin looked up into his face and could tell by his expression he definitely wasn’t joking. The unusual seriousness of his demeanor surprised her, but it also put butterflies in her stomach. And brought back the topic of her own musings in the bathtub.
She didn’t have long to dwell on it because after a small kiss he released her. “You ready to go? We have reservations for 6:45.”
Erin nodded and reached for her purse. Then she followed Brody down the stairs and to his bike. She pulled the purse strap over her shoulder to secure it to her body and then allowed Brody to slip on the helmet.
“I’m not going to ruin your hair, am I?” he teased.
Erin grinned. “Nothing a quick brush in the bathroom can’t fix.”
Brody stepped back to look at her after fastening the helmet clasp. “You better sit close and hold on to me. I don’t want you flashing anyone on the ride there.”
Erin glanced down at her skirt, realizing she hadn’t picked the most practical outfit for a motorcycle ride.
“Should I go change? I didn’t even think about it.”
Brody shook his head. “We’re not going far. Besides, I like having you close to me.” He assured her with a wink. He helped Erin climb onto the bike and then slid onto the seat himself.
Erin slid up to his back and snaked one arm around his waist, making sure her skirt was securely and discreetly tucked around her. She had to admit, she didn’t mind holding on to Brody either.
Then with a roar Brody started the bike and steered them back toward town.
She had no idea where they were going, just enjoyed the ride and the scenery until he signaled a turn onto East Street. Erin knew then dinner was going to be someplace nice. East Street was part of Three Rivers’ wealthier downtown area and boasted more upscale and expensive restaurants, shops and clubs.
Brody meant business with this “first date”.
He slowed as they cruised down East Street and then finally pulled into a parking space in front of La Fontina, which boasted as Three Rivers best Italian restaurant. Erin had only eaten here once and that was a long time ago. She couldn’t even remember why.
Her eyes roamed over the tables on the outdoor terrace as Brody powered down the bike.
“So this is where we’re eating?” she asked, glancing back at him as he removed his helmet.
“This is it. You do like Italian?”
“I love Italian!” Erin assured him. “I just didn’t expect to be coming here.”
Brody smiled as he helped her slide off the bike. “Seeing as how I’m so late on taking you out for a proper first date, I wanted to make sure I did things right.”
Erin studied his face as he unfastened her helmet and slid it off her head, trying not to pull at her hair. “Brody, you do realize that I’d be just as happy at Chik-Fil-A, right? I don’t need you to be fancy to do things right.”
Brody sat her helmet next to his and then turned back to her. “I do. But every now and then a girl needs to know she’s worth more than fries and a milkshake.” He explained, still smiling. “And you, Erin Mitchell, are definitely worth it.”
Erin felt a warmth flood through her body that made her knees go weak. How did he do that? She had no idea how to respond, so she just let him take her hand and lead her towards the entrance.
She had enough functioning brain cells left to quickly check her hair in the glass window of the door before they stepped inside. Thankfully, it still looked presentable enough to be seen in public. The helmet had actually kept it in place during the ride.
The maître d’ quickly showed them to a table and left them to peruse the wine selections as well as the menu. The restaurant had a great atmosphere, feeling upscale without being stuffy and romantic without excluding the un-romantic diners.
Erin and Brody found their table close to an indoor waterfall and a pond highlighted by a muted skylight far above. Erin loved the sound of the gurgling water as she looked over the wine menu.
“Do you want to get a glass or share a bottle?” Brody asked, leaning close to look over the selections himself.
Erin looked at him in surprise. “An entire bottle? You have to drive me home, remember?”
“I didn’t say I’d be drinking much of it.”
“Trying to get me drunk, Mr. Morgan, so you can have your way with me?”
Brody laughed. “I don’t need to get you drunk for that.” He retorted.
Erin felt her cheeks grow warm and she returned to the menu without comment.
“Besides, we’ll probably eat so much food that a couple glasses won’t hurt anything.” Brody mused.
They finally decided to share a bottle of Reisling and then moved on to the food. Erin’s stomach growled at the chance to taste their seafood feast over a white wine-marinara drenched pasta. It included clams, mussels and shrimp.
“You know what they say about clams?” Brody asked once the waiter had disappeared.
“What’s that?” Erin asked, reaching to take a sip of her wine.
“An aphrodisiac.”
Erin felt an amused smile slide across her lips. “Oh, really? Guess that’s a good thing for you then, huh? Wine and clams. This should be a good night.”
Brody wiggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed.
Then he reached out to clasp her hand, growing serious again. “It’s always a good night with you Erin, clams or no clams. I never saw this coming,” he motioned between the two of them, “but I’m really glad it did. Being with you is so different than being with Courtney. You’ve become such a needed and important part of my life that most days it’s hard to remember what it was like before you.”
Erin swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. It was as if Brody had heard the conversation she’d had with herself in the bubbles. He was answering questions she hadn’t dared ask him but needed to know.
She took another sip of wine, willing her tongue to unstick itself. She looked at him, feeling his thumb caressing the back of her hand, and it sent shivers down her spine.
“I’m glad you like me so much.” She whispered, willing herself to find her voice. “I can remember what it was like before you and that’s what makes it so difficult to think about the future without you. I need you too Brody.”
He smiled and lifted her hand to his lips, kissing it softly. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
She watched as he too reached for a long sip of wine, wondering where this conversation was going. But thankfully the serious tone receded and he gave her a smile, asking how her morning had gone with Kelly.
Erin relaxed, happy to let the conversation turn to lighter topics as they waited for their dinner. Brody was impressed to hear that Kelly had not yet morphed into a Bridezilla. He was equally impressed to hear that they had landed the banquet hall and atrium at the River Side Inn.
“Bates looked into having her reception there, but I’m pretty sure they were booked solid. Kelly had a real stroke of luck with that cancellation.”
Erin nodded her agreement. “Tell me about it. I just hope she doesn’t have to give it up. They haven’t exactly cleared the date with the pastor yet.”
“Where are they getting married?”
“They’re hoping for Brad’s church. They meet with the minister tomorrow afternoon. Kelly’s worried that he’ll refuse to marry them when he finds out she’s pregnant.”
Brody looked perplexed. “Really? They would do that? Refuse to marry them, I mean?”
Erin shrugged. “Having met Brad’s pastor and attended his church, I don’t think so. But you never know. The church doesn’t exactly promote sex before marriage.”
Brody nodded, conceding the point. “Guess they could always leave that part out.”
“I think Kelly feels bad enough already. Adding lying to her list of sins wouldn’t help.”
“I suppose not.” Brody agreed. He paused, taking a sip of wine, and then glanced back at Erin. “Speaking of Brad’s church, I asked Brad if I could tag along tomorrow morning to the service.”
Erin tried to hide her surprise, not wanting Brody to interpret it the wrong way. But that was the last thing she’d expected to hear from him.
“Really? What prompted that?”
Brody sighed and broke eye contact for a moment, contemplating his answer. “Mom’s death, mostly. But the big push was hearing my Dad talk about Mom like he knows she’s still alive, just not here. Heaven and hell aren’t foreign concepts by any means, but I just never took them very seriously. I feel like I need to. I want to know as much about it as I can, see what makes Dad so sure it’s all real. And that he’ll see Mom again one day.”
Erin nodded, seeing now just how big an effect Stan’s words had upon Brody. He obviously cared for and respected his parents a lot if he was willing to pursue something at his father’s suggestion.
“Do you want some company? Other than Brad and Jamie, I mean.” Erin asked.
Brody looked back at Erin, hopeful. “You’d come along?”
“Sure. I’ve been sporadic in attending for a while, but I went with Brad regularly during and after my divorce. It helped me through the rough stuff. I like Brad’s church. I think you will too.”
Brody seemed to visibly relax, as if the idea of going to church, especially by himself, had been anxiety inducing. “Thanks Erin.”
She smiled. “No problem.”
And with that the waiter appeared, serving them their meals. The food was delicious and as Brody said, they ate plenty to soak up the wine they were drinking. Erin wasn’t sure she really had room for dessert but Brody convinced her to share some with him.
Erin laughed when he accused her of eating more than her half. “I did not! My end was mostly frosting and whipped cream!”
“Whatever.” Brody grumbled with an exaggerated eye roll.
Erin moved to poke him with her fork but he parried, blocking her. “Now, now, Ms. Mitchell. We’re in a public setting. Remember your manners.”
This time it was Erin who rolled her eyes, but she put down her fork and let Brody finish the dessert.
Once he had paid the bill Brody suggested a small walk around the block before he took her back to her apartment. Erin agreed, needing to let her food digest. The sky seemed prematurely dark when they exited the restaurant and Brody predicted it was going to rain.
“Think we should nix the walk?” Erin asked.
“Nah. I haven’t heard any rumbles of thunder. I think we’ve got time.” He looked back at Erin with a grin. “Besides, I really want to walk around for a while and hold your hand.”
Erin happily obliged.
The clouds had brought with them a breeze and Erin thought it felt nice on her skin as they strolled down East Street, checking out the shops and restaurants. They had only made it half-way through their route when they heard a distant rumble of thunder. Erin paused under one of the storefront canopies to look at the sky and was shocked when the clouds let loose and rain poured down.
She looked at Brody, meeting his own surprised gaze. “So much for having time.”
Brody nodded, glancing at the rain again. He looked back down East Street towards La Fontina and his bike, then back at Erin.
“I have a feeling we’re going to get wet anyway. . .” he drawled, turning back to Erin.
“What do you mean ‘anyway’?”
“Ever dance in the rain?”
Erin laughed. “What?”
Brody tugged on her hand, trying to pull her out from under the safety of the canopy. By now, most people had ducked indoors to get out of the weather, but a few still remained sheltered under the awnings of the outdoor restaurant patios.
“Are you kidding?”
Brody shook his head, finally succeeding in pulling her out into the downpour. Erin shrieked as the rain soaked into her hair and started running down her scalp. She could feel it start to trickle down the exposed skin of her back. It took only seconds before she was drenched.
But Brody didn’t seem to notice. He twirled Erin around a few times and then caught her hands, pulling her against his chest. She shielded her eyes against the rain as she looked up at him.
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
Brody grinned. “Maybe a little. Mostly just crazy about you.”
Then he kissed her, over and over, as the rain poured over them. Those people left outside were surely getting a show but Erin didn’t care. As Brody’s arms wrapped around her she forgot about the people and took little notice of the water that had soaked her to her toes.
Maybe it was the kisses. Or maybe all the food and wine. Probably all three, but Erin felt euphoric standing there in the rain with Brody, letting him publicly declare that she belonged to him. This “first date” left no doubts in her mind how he felt about her.
Brody pulled away as they felt the rain begin to lighten up. Erin laughed as she watched it drip from his nose and chin. “I have to say, Mr. Morgan, this is one heck of a first date.”
Brody grinned. “At least you’ll never forget it, right?”
Erin swiped at the water running down his face and then stood on her tiptoes to plant another kiss on his lips. “It’s been great. But can we go home? I really do prefer dry clothes.”
“If you insist.” Brody agreed, taking her hand and leading her back the way they’d come.
* * * * * * * * * *
Erin glanced down the pew, taking in the row of familiar faces, amused to find them all together in such an uncommon place. Brody sat beside her, studiously flipping through the bulletin. Next to him was Kelly, then Tobey and finally Jamie and Brad. She couldn’t remember a time when they had all attended church together.
Jamie looked up from her own bulletin and caught Erin’s eye. She must have been thinking the same thing because her eyes flickered to the other three and then back to Erin with a grin and a thumbs up.
Erin returned the smile and then shifted her attention to the church itself. The sanctuary was large and very basic – simple pews leading to a slightly raised platform at the front which held chairs for the choir and a podium for the pulpit. There was a large cross centered on the front wall behind the choir. The decorations were minimal, the windows large and bright, giving the place a comfortable, unassuming air.
Erin had always found that what warmed the large room up were the people. It wasn’t a massive congregation like some of the mega-churches in Three Rivers but it wasn’t small either. It had its share of “Sunday morning Christians” who came to take up space in the pew and then go about their business. But the majority of the people who attended here truly enjoyed the church and the fellowship and took care of one another. Erin had found them to be friendly and welcoming when she had started attending with Brad.
The church was full of ministry as well from the common choirs and youth groups to more personal services such as Stephen Ministers. They hosted a community meal every Monday evening, held a coat drive in the winter, and supported an array of other community organizations such as the local Food Bank and Crisis Pregnancy Center.
The church ran like a well-oiled machine but what kept her coming back was the fact that it didn’t feel like a machine. Everything these people did was from the heart and with genuine care. She was sure that’s what kept Brad and Jamie coming back as well.
Erin looked back at Brody to find him pouring over the list of various classes and groups one could get involved in. Next to it was a calendar highlighting what group met when.
He looked up at Erin with raised eyebrows. “There’s so much to get involved in, how does one decide what to do?”
Erin grinned. “I think most people pick what they like and know they’re good at. I believe Brad would call it their ‘gift’. Everyone has different talents and we should each be true to our own.”
Brody nodded. “Makes sense. But this list is still a little mind-boggling.”
Erin grinned but didn’t reply as the organ music died and the pastor took his place at the pulpit to welcome everyone to the service.
The service itself was pretty informal but still held plenty of traditional elements. There were old hymns mixed in with current praise songs. The congregation had time to speak of praises and prayer requests before being invited to the prayer rail at the front while the pastor prayed. They still employed ushers to collect the offering. And, of course, there was still a sermon. Erin could remember how boring she’d thought them as a child, trying to pay attention as the pastor seemed to drone on and on. But Pastor Dale was an engaging speaker and he always presented his message in a very organized format, keeping himself focused and to the point. Erin never got bored listening to him speak. All in all, it was nothing spectacular or fancy but it was real and heartfelt and that’s what Erin liked about it.
Erin turned to Brody after the pastor gave his benediction and the last strains of the postlude drifted away. “So, what did you think?”
Brody shrugged. “It’s not quite what I remember as a kid. I think I like it better now. Doesn’t seem so stuffy or formal. And I liked Pastor Dale –he had a good message and speaks well. But I still don’t quite understand what’s driving Dad. I didn’t get any great epiphanies from the service.”
Erin smiled softly. “I think that’s going to take time. And probably something more personal than a church service. You should talk to Brad, see what he suggests. Maybe you can get involved in one of those groups you were looking at earlier.”
Brody nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
The six of them shuffled from the pew and paused for a moment in the entrance hall. Jamie invited them all back the following week.
Erin could see the anxiety on Kelly’s face and knew she was worried that after the meeting with Pastor Dale she wouldn’t be allowed to come back. She kept her reassurances to herself though, not wanting to spill Kelly’s secret before she was ready.
“Good luck with Pastor Dale. Hopefully he’s okay with the date you picked.” She offered instead.
Kelly nodded, but looked a little green as Tobey pulled her down the hall toward the Pastor’s office.
Brad turned his attention back to Brody. “How about you Brody? What did you think of the service?”
“Like I told Erin, it’s not quite what I remember but that’s a good thing. I enjoyed the service. I definitely wouldn’t have a problem coming back.”
Jamie grinned. “Yay! We’d love to have you guys with us on a regular basis. Our pew can get a little lonely.”
Erin grinned and rolled her eyes. She knew that if they hadn’t all been here today, the pew wouldn’t have stayed empty.
“I want to read over this list of classes and groups, then maybe see if you guys have any suggestions.” Brody added, waving the bulletin still in his hand.
“Sure. Let us know if you have questions. I can introduce you to the leaders if you’re interested in any.” Brad offered.
Brody nodded, then motioned towards the door. “You guys ready? I’m getting hungry.”
Erin nodded in agreement and took Brody’s hand as they followed Brad and Jamie into the parking lot. She wondered what was going through Brody’s head and how he was really feeling about the church and the service. He had obviously expected something a little more than what he’d experienced, but didn’t seem to want to talk about it right now. And though she hoped he would open up about it to her at some point, she wasn’t sure she had the answers for him. More than that, she didn’t know who did.
* * * * * * * * * *
Erin sank into a chair at the nurse’s station after finishing her rounds with the infants. Thankfully they only had three babies to care for and none of them were very critical. She loved her job but she loved it more when she knew there weren’t so many sick little ones needing care.
“How was your evening?” Kelly asked, glancing up from the chart she was writing in. She had called after her meeting the day before to let Erin know all had gone well with Pastor Dale and that all was a go for the date they had booked the inn. She had been relieved to discover he wasn’t judgmental when they’d revealed the pregnancy.
“It was fine. Brody came over after he checked in with his Dad. They’re going to be discharging him this week and letting him do outpatient therapy. He’s recovering very well and Brody says he’s chomping at the bit to see the deli and get back to work.”
“He’s not ready for that yet, is he?”
Erin shook her head. “No, and Brody’s not going to let him. But when it’s been your baby and livelihood for the past thirty years, I’m sure it’s hard to leave it in someone else’s hands.”
Kelly murmured her agreement. “How’s the rebuild coming? I haven’t been by recently.”
“Excellent. I’m surprised at how quickly they cleared the debris and started construction. Brody expects to be up and running soon. He’s got new kitchen equipment picked out and ordered so hopefully they’ll be ready to install when it arrives.”
“He’s been handling this whole thing rather well, especially since it didn’t seem like he was interested in taking over the business for his Dad.” Kelly commented.
“Yeah, I’ve thought the same thing. I know he suspended his duties at the gym where he was doing some training. I’m not sure what he’s thinking – if he’ll go back or if he’ll keep working at the delis. He hasn’t really said much about it. I think he’s just dealing with one thing at a time and not worrying too much about the future.”
Kelly grinned. “You know men – they can’t multitask.” She quipped.
Erin rolled her eyes but returned the smile. “He got a frantic call from Bates last night too. Seems that Marie had been handling most of the details for the wedding and now that she’s gone, Bates is in over her head pulling all the details together. She was practically in tears when he handed the phone off to me. She finally calmed down when I assured her that my Mom and I would be happy to help her iron out the details. My Mom’s going to visit the florist and the reception site this week to coordinate some details for her.”
“That’s awfully nice of your Mom.” Kelly commented, surprised.
Erin shrugged. “She likes Bates and feels bad that Marie passed on before the wedding. I think she just has the motherly instinct to step in and help out. That’s the way my Mom is. You know that.”
Kelly nodded. “Yeah, you’re Mom’s a good cookie.”
A few moments of silence passed as Kelly continued to put notes into her charts. Erin logged into the computer to enter the data she had collected from the babies before she spoke again.
“I decided to stop by Tyler’s tonight and tell him about Brody.” She announced quietly.
Kelly looked up, her eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Erin nodded. “You’re right, he needs to know. Especially after that ‘first date’ I had Saturday night.”
Kelly cocked her head, a sly smile spreading across her face. “And just what kind of first date did you have?"
Erin grinned. “It was nothing kinky and he didn’t propose, so back up your horse. There were just moments of conversation that made it clear Brody is serious about us and thinking in the long term. This is no short-term fling for him. And I had to admit to myself that it isn’t for me either. I don’t want to date a bunch of guys and go through a bunch of breakups. I don’t want to put Alyssa through that. I want that one guy who’s ready to commit to a family and I really want Brody to be that guy.”
If possible, Kelly’s grin got even bigger. “See, I told you!”
“Oh, hush, you told me nothing.” Erin retorted. “There are no wedding bells ringing. We’ve just come to the conclusion that we’re both serious about this relationship. He’s going to be around for a while. He’s going to become a bigger part of Alyssa’s life. So, Tyler needs to know.”
Kelly’s eyes twinkled but she didn’t push the issue. Instead, she just wished her luck. “Hopefully Tyler takes this better than I think he will.”
Erin groaned. “Think positively, please. I need all the support I can get.”
Kelly gave her a sympathetic smile and returned to her charts.
Erin glanced back at her computer but her mind didn’t register what was on the screen. Instead she was envisioning just how the conversation would go with her ex later than night. And it wasn’t pretty.
* * * * * * * * * *
Erin’s sense of dread heightened with each step she took to her car. She was drained of energy just thinking about dealing with Tyler’s reaction to Brody. All she wanted to do was go home, see Alyssa, have some dinner and relax. Instead, she had to tell her ex there was a new man in her life and she was pretty sure there would be too much tension to relax after that.
She wasn’t quite sure how Tyler would react, but any scenario she envisioned didn’t go well. She had the feeling that he still held out hope he could win her back, given enough time and space. So she was pretty sure there would be jealousy. Whether or not he would be angry, that was the wild card.
He couldn’t really expect her not to date or pursue other relationships, could he?
She had made it clear, time after time, that the divorce was final. There were no romantic feelings lingering anywhere for her about Tyler. There was no possible way she could ever trust him again, even if she did manage to let go and fully forgive him. But up until now those words hadn’t held much weight because there had been no one else to take his place.
Would he accept it and finally let her go? Or would he view Brody as competition?
Erin unlocked her car and slid behind the wheel with a heavy sigh. There was no competition. Her heart would never be his again. But what would it take to make him accept that?
She pulled from the parking lot and headed towards the house Tyler still shared with his mom. Jo had always been lovely to her, even after the divorce. She had never had a problem seeing or speaking to her or leaving Alyssa in her care. It was just Tyler that induced so much anxiety.
She had called earlier to make sure he would be home but hadn’t told him what she wanted, other than to talk to him about something. She certainly hoped he hadn’t gotten his hopes up about the conversation.
By the time she pulled into the small drive behind Tyler’s car she was nothing but a ball of nerves. She took a few deep breaths, willing herself to calm down. At this rate she was going to give herself a heart attack before she even stepped through the door.
She glanced at herself in the rear view mirror, suddenly feeling silly. “This is ridiculous! Why should this man still hold so much power over my emotions? I took that privilege away from him a long time ago.” She admonished herself.
And with that she pulled herself from the car and marched towards the front door. Her short knock was answered promptly by Tyler, who ushered her in without a word.
Erin tried to read him, studying his face and body language, but he was giving nothing away. She didn’t have a clue as to what he was thinking. She settled herself onto one of the armchairs, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. She clasped her hands together, willing herself not to fidget.
Tyler remained standing, his only concession to lean against the couch, arms folded across his chest.
Erin swallowed the lump in her throat and decided to just get to the point. “There’ve been some changes in my life during the past month or so, and those changes are also going to affect Alyssa. So I thought I’d let you know what’s going on so we’re all on the same page.”
Tyler said nothing, just stared at her and waited.
“I’ve met someone. His name is Brody. His family owns Marlin’s Deli’s. I think I mentioned to you that I was helping them prepare for his mother’s funeral.”
“You mentioned a friend and a funeral.” Tyler answered dryly.
“Well, Brody and I have known each other for years because he used to work at the hospital. He had moved away for a while and recently came back to the area. We’ve started dating and things are becoming a bit more serious. He’s going to become a regular part of my life. Alyssa’s too. I wanted to tell you before she blurted out something about Mommy having a boyfriend.”
Tyler’s jaw tightened and Erin knew that he was angry. She wondered what part of her confession he was upset with – the fact that she was seeing someone or the fact that she hadn’t come clean sooner?
“You’re a little late on telling me before someone else did.”
Erin cocked her head, her brows drawn together in question.
“My mom so innocently mentioned seeing your PDA in the rain Saturday night.” He bit out. “She was a bit more excited at the idea of you having a hot date than I am.”
Erin felt her cheeks flush as she remembered that moment in the rain. She knew there had been some people watching. She wished she had known one of them was Jo.
She looked up at Tyler, seeing his anger and disapproval, and felt her own anger rise. She bit back the temptation to slam him with a nasty retort. Yelling and throwing barbs back and forth would get them nowhere.
Instead, she took a deep breath and did her best to control herself as she spoke. “Tyler, I’m not telling you this because I’m seeking your approval. You have no claim to me anymore or any say in my actions. If the idea of me dating someone else upsets you, that’s your issue to deal with. I came here to tell you this because Brody is important to me, important enough to make him part of Alyssa’s life too. I’m sure she’ll talk about him and I wanted you to know ahead of time who he is and what’s going on.”
Tyler’s eyes narrowed as he considered her and her words. “I may not have any say in your actions anymore, but I certainly have a say in who my daughter is exposed to. I don’t know anything about this guy. How am I supposed to know if he’s a true upstanding man or just some pedophile off the street?”
Erin allowed herself to growl in frustration. Was he serious?! “Give me a break Tyler! You know me better than that! Or at least you should. Do you really think I would just let any Joe in to my life or Alyssa’s, especially after the way you treated me?”
She saw Tyler flinch at her words, giving her some satisfaction.
“I plan to make damn sure that the next man I let close to me intends to care for me and my daughter better than you ever did. So you can rest assured he’s no pedophile or any other inaccurate accusation you can think of!”
He seemed to fume in silence, her words obviously making their mark but leaving him angrier than when she started.
She stood with an exasperated sigh and pulled her purse over her shoulder. “I didn’t come to fight with you or debate my love life. I came to inform you about events that affect our daughter so we can continue to parent on the same page. Do what you need to do to prove to yourself that Brody’s a decent guy. But don’t you dare talk badly about him or me to our daughter just because you’re upset or angry. She doesn’t need that burden.”
With that, she brushed past him and headed to the door. She had yanked it open and was about to step through when Tyler spoke quietly from his place by the couch.
“This isn’t over Erin. We may be divorced, but that doesn’t mean I gave up.”
Erin didn’t bother to acknowledge him or reply. She simply slammed the door behind her and hurried to her car. The tears came as she slid behind the wheel, fast and furious. She knew she probably shouldn’t be driving as upset as she was, but she certainly wasn’t going to stay and cry in Tyler’s driveway.
She pulled over long enough to dial Brody’s number and compose herself enough to speak.
“Brody, it’s Erin. Can you meet me at my place as soon as possible?” she asked, her voice still quivering and tearful.
“Erin, are you crying? What’s going on?”
The sound of his voice and the concern it held made the tears come back. “Can you just meet me at home please?” she managed to ask. “I’ll tell you there.”
“I’m on my way.” He assured her.
Some of the emotion ebbed away as she pulled back onto the road. Knowing Brody would be there for her took the edge off her anger, but the tears still flowed the whole way home.
Tyler’s anger she could deal with. It was his parting remark that had her tied in knots.