Rajeshwari walked down a few steps, then paused. She turned to Nandini and whispered, "Your mother is talking to someone on the phone. We shouldn't disturb her now."
"It's okay, we can go downstairs and wait for her to finish the conversation," Nandini replied amiably.
"No, I don't wish to intrude," Rajeshwari said sombrely, ascending the stairs again. "Hmm...and I think I'll have a bath before going down."
"Okay, I'll switch on the geyser for you and start filling water in the bucket," Nandini said promptly, walking towards the bathroom. "Or you could use the shower too, but the -"
"Nandini, wait...I also need to speak with you about – about some things," Rajeshwari interrupted timidly. "Can we talk in your room?"
"Of course," Nandini nodded.
When they returned to the room, Rajeshwari sat down on the bed. Nandini walked to the table and turned the chair so that she could sit facing Rajeshwari.
"It's about Prithvi," Rajeshwari began hesitantly. "The thing is...I...I've never been able to keep any secrets from him. Actually, I've never really had to until now. But even if I try...I find it impossible to hide anything from him, and end up blurting whatever is on my mind. And when I see him today, I'm afraid I will do the same thing....and then I will not be able to face him ever again."
Her eyes filling with compassion, Nandini started to speak but Rajeshwari stalled her by saying, "No, wait. Don't say anything. Just listen to me. I'm telling you this because I need your help."
"Oh...what help do you need?" Nandini asked, attempting to sound undisturbed. If the situation had not involved Prithvi, she would have immediately pledged to help in whatever way she could without asking for details. But as matters stood...she was terrified of making any kind of commitment...
"After Prithvi comes here, you must be near me when he is around," Rajeshwari said nervously. "At least for two or three days. I'm not saying you should sit with me all the time. But just - just be in the room or somewhere close. It will help me because...I don't know why...but I feel stronger when I see you," she reflected wonderingly. "And I need to be strong to stop myself from telling him the truth. And...I'm sure he doesn't know anything yet, but that doesn't mean he will remain in the dark in the coming days. So, could you also please talk to him casually once or twice a day while he's here, and try to figure out if he has found out anything?" she begged anxiously.
Nandini stared her in shock, aghast at the request.
"I know...it's wrong of me to ask you to do this," Rajeshwari said remorsefully, believing that she knew the reason for Nandini's dismay. "But when you meet him today, you will understand that you have nothing to worry about," she guaranteed keenly. "And I promise...if he doesn't behave well or shows the slightest anger towards you, I will not make this request again."
The assurance did not placate Nandini. She was absolutely certain that Prithvi's behaviour with her would not seem discourteous to an onlooker. And then she would not have any excuse to give Rajeshwari. But then...she wouldn't really have to do anything, Nandini realised with a mix of guilt and relief. Rajeshwari didn't know that Prithvi was already aware of what had happened. So, she would merely have to pretend to talk to him, and then she could reassure Rajeshwari that everything was fine, Nandini thought uncomfortably. It was deceit. But it was the only way Rajeshwari – and she - could be at peace...
"Okay, I'll do it," Nandini said with a weak smile. She refrained from pointing out that this was not a long-term solution. It would not serve any purpose apart from aggravating Rajeshwari's nervousness.
"Thank you, I knew I could count on you," Rajeshwari smiled gratefully.
After a short while, Nandini wandered into her mother's room and clambered onto the bed. She wanted to go out in the open for some time, but what if Rajeshwari needed anything...
Leaning against the wall, Nandini stared absently at her interlinked fingers.
From the time she had left Ayodhya, she had hopelessly been trying to analyse each moment of the extremely short – yet interminably long – encounter...to understand...and to also look for reasons to believe that she had misunderstood...
And when she'd walked up the stairs in response to Rajeshwari's request, she had still been obsessing over the meeting, which was divided into two halves in her mind – the part before Prithvi had left the kitchen...and the part that had followed. Nothing had made sense to her from the moment she had seen him, but there had at least been a pretence of normalcy in his behaviour until he had made the coffee. But something had gone wrong in that kitchen in a matter of seconds, and for the life of her, she could not understand what it was...
Lost in her desolation and bewilderment, she'd not realised how irrationally afraid she'd been till now that Prithvi would not return.
But he had called up Rajeshwari and told her he was on his way. So, he actually was going to stay in Shamli for some days.
Why was she still struggling to believe it...
Was it because she had convinced herself long ago that he would not return to this town...as it was the sole way she could quell the excruciating pangs of longing and restlessness that had tormented her...
Nandini got down from the bed and walked quickly to the windows as tears filled her eyes.
She'd become so engrossed in the minor turbulence on the surface that she'd briefly forgotten about the deep reservoir of happiness and tranquillity that his presence had created in her. It couldn't be disturbed by any external factor...not even Prithvi himself...
She had seen him today morning. She had heard his voice, and had spoken to him. He had made a cup of coffee for her. She was going to see him again in the evening, and he was going to be staying in Ayodhya again for a few days at least. Those were divinely beautiful truths that no one could take away from her.
Nandini's soft, flawless skin acquired a glow and a colour that had been absent for years. A beautiful light shone in her black eyes, and her rose-coloured lips curved up with a lovely smile.
She could already predict the reactions of her mother, brother and grandfather...and Sankatmochan too. Their happiness would be sane and normal. Hers was an unnatural, blissful joy that knew no bounds.
She was accustomed to hiding her sorrows, and had repressed tears and any sign of grief on countless occasions in this house in the past four and a half years. And to think that now she would have to conceal her happiness...or permit only a miniscule portion of it to show...
Nandini walked to the mirror in her mother's room and grimaced on seeing her reflection.
She looked far worse than she'd feared. Feeling despondent, she removed the clip to open her hair, and began to run her fingers unsurely through the lustrous locks.
By way of cosmetics, she only had a packet of black bindis and the sandalwood oil that she applied just to stop her mother from fretting about her lack of interest in beautifying herself. She did not have any nice dresses, and she had not worn anklets or bangles for years. Could she go shopping this weekend? Nishi and Vrinda would collapse with disbelief if she suggested it, Nandini thought impishly. And they would be more stunned to know that Prithvi was back...
The images of her friends - and the last conversation they'd had about him – came rushing back to her...
Nandini recoiled from the mirror, terribly frightened as she saw the full extent of the danger towards which she was rushing with barefaced abandon...
She'd had this ridiculous discussion with herself earlier in the day, and she was succumbing to the power of those same meaningless thoughts again.
No. It was enough, Nandini decided, feeling cold with fear.
She had made enough mistakes since morning to last her for the next decade, and it was time to rein in her heart even if she had to break it into smaller pieces to do it...
*******************************
Nandini dawdled behind Rajeshwari as they descended the steps.
They would have come downstairs some time ago, but then Prithvi had called up Rajeshwari again. She had stood near the stairs until Rajeshwari had finished talking to her brother, and had not asked about the conversation when Rajeshwari had come out of the room. But, with a happiness that was tempered by anxiety, Rajeshwari had informed her that Prithvi would be arriving by five in the evening. She had responded with a quick smile, and then they had both headed to the ground floor.
Sarojini greeted Rajeshwari affectionately and was about to hurry into the kitchen to make tea when Rajeshwari cheerfully announced the news about Prithvi.
Nandini smiled as she watched her mother react in the expected fashion...with surprise, happiness and excitement.
Her own moronic heart was still pirouetting around like a drunkard. However, the stark fear that had seized her a while ago helped moderate her emotions to some extent, and she was able to confine her reaction to a sedate smile whenever her mother and Rajeshwari glanced at her.
"Father will be very glad to know about Prithvi's visit," Sarojini said happily. "Oh...I forgot to tell both of you in all this excitement. Nandini's grandfather and Sankatmochan are returning tomorrow because they want to meet you," she smiled at Rajeshwari, who had taken a seat at the dining table.
"They are returning earlier just to meet me?" Rajeshwari asked with pleasure. It would have made her very anxious to think that she would have to meet an unfamiliar person tomorrow. But all the Bharadwajs she'd met had been so sweet till now. And from the stories that Nandini had narrated, Bhoothnath seemed to be a really cute and harmless person, and she was looking forward to meeting him.
Sarojini smiled and nodded. "I'll call up father and tell him about Prithvi."
"No, wait, Maa," Nandini said quickly, a slight excitement and playfulness in her eyes. "We shouldn't tell grandpa and Mochi bhaiya now. It will be a good surprise for them when they see Prithvi tomorrow."
Sarojini seemed undecided initially but then agreed amusedly. "Okay, we will keep it a surprise for both of them. But what if Prithvi tell them about his visit?"
"I don't think he will," Rajeshwari said, shaking her head. "I told him that they weren't in Shamli right now, and he said he would call them up after he reached. But I will send him a message now and ask him to keep it a secret till tomorrow." Then feeling the need to defend her brother's manners, she keenly added, "Prithvi would have called up to inform you personally, Mrs Bharadwaj, but he said – there's some network -"
"That is not an issue at all," Sarojini rushed to reassure her. "I'm just happy he decided to visit us. And he doesn't have to inform us, because this is his home too."
Rajeshwari smiled broadly.
"I'll bring tea and breakfast for you," Sarojini told her warmly, and walked to the kitchen while quickly evaluating if Ayodhya was guest-ready.
Nandini followed her mother, and offhandedly offered, "Maa, I'll go to Ayodhya and clean the place."
"But you must be tired. I will call up Mangala and ask if she can help," Sarojini said, referring to the woman who arrived each morning to clean both the houses.
"There's no need to call her. I'm not tired at all, and I don't need help," Nandini insisted.
"But Rajeshwari will get bored here without you. You stay here, and I'll go to Ayodhya and clean the house."
"She won't get bored. Now stop arguing with me," Nandini warned obstinately.
Sarojini smiled. "Okay, take the keys from your grandfather's room. Or you could take Mochi's keys from under the plant too. After you clean the house, don't forget to fill up drinking water in a vessel and change the sheets in his room," she instructed her daughter.
Nandini nodded and then returned to the living room.
"I have to check if the other house is in order," she told Rajeshwari apologetically. "I'll be back in a short time. I hope you won't be bored..."
"Oh that's alright," Rajeshwari said. "I watch a lot of movies and shows on my laptop. I won't be bored at all."
"That's great," Nandini smiled with relief.
Sarojini came out of the kitchen again to add, "Nandini, you should also make a list of the items we should buy for the kitchen. I know there are a lot of snacks but we should buy some essentials like bread and milk."
Nandini fumbled frenziedly for an answer, but she was rescued by Rajeshwari, who recalled one portion of her conversation with her brother. "Mrs Bharadwaj, Prithvi wanted me to tell you that nothing should be purchased for the house because -"
"Because?" Sarojini urged curiously.
Rajeshwari ruefully said, "I hope you won't misunderstand him...but he said he will be having his coffee and tea and all his meals here whether you like it or not. He talks like that with everyone with whom he feels close," she explained anxiously.
Sarojini chuckled with delight and said, "That's wonderful, nothing would make us happier." She was very pleased, and marvelled at the changes that time wrought in people. The quiet, reticent boy who had lived in Ayodhya years ago wouldn't have felt comfortable enough to make such a heart-warming declaration.
Nandini muttered dazedly that she would take the keys from her grandfather's room, and left swiftly.
A few minutes later, she was staring nervously at the padlock on the doors, fiddling agitatedly with the keys in her hand. It was ridiculous that she was more frightened now than she had been in the morning...
But then, in the morning, she hadn't known many things...such as how he would react to her presence...or how he would behave with her after the initial surprise...or how she was still extraordinarily vulnerable when it came to him...
Nandini remembered the untouched cup of coffee on the table.
And all of a sudden, she couldn't endure the uncertainty anymore.
She opened the door and walked into the house.
Nandini looked around the living room. There was no coffee mug on the short table...and no newspaper on the large one.
Beginning to feel ill, she hastened to the kitchen. The platform was empty. The vessel that had been used for preparing coffee and the mugs seemed to have been put away. None of the things she'd brought into the house were visible.
Determined to remain composed, Nandini kept the padlock and key on the kitchen counter, and started to search the kitchen. But the urgency in her movements increased slowly as she went through the refrigerator, and all the containers and drawers.
Only when the last container had been checked did she give up. And only then did she allow burning tears of mingled pain, anger and humiliation to cascade down her cheeks.
But Nandini determinedly gained control over her emotions after a painful battle, and reminded herself of the tasks for which she had come to the house.
As she wiped her face, her eyes fell upon the floor. The marks were still there. At least one sign of her visit had not been eliminated...
However, this was not punishment enough for her stupidity and lack of self-respect.
Nandini made herself walk to the stairway, and climb up the steps to the first floor. She was rewarded with the cringe-inducing confirmation that her feet had left dust smears everywhere. There were in his room too...leading right up to his bed...
His observation skills had always been razor-sharp. He wouldn't have missed the dirty imprints of her feet in his room.
Nandini shivered under the vicious onslaught of shame and disgust.
However, the most inexcusable failing for her was the mighty current of mad, irrational happiness that continued to flow through her, utterly indifferent to her hurt and mortification...
Nandini walked to the bed and touched the sheets tenderly for a moment. Then her expression hardened. Her hands grasped the sheet and yanked hard, pulling it off the mattress and sending the pillow tumbling to the floor...
*******************************
Nandini washed and dried the last vessel, and then glanced around the kitchen while wiping her hands with her dupatta. There was nothing left for her to do, she noted with part relief and part apprehension. All the snacks had been prepared and the pretty ceramic plates had been washed and dried.
She looked uneasily at the variety of snacks they had prepared in the past two hours. Prithvi wouldn't want to have anything she had prepared. But she couldn't have watched her mother and Prakash toil by themselves...
Nandini sighed. She was desperate to see Prithvi again, and she was enraged with herself for being so weak. Her stomach was trying to set a world record in somersaults, her heart was thudding frantically, and her brain was screaming insults at her.
Meanwhile, her mother was tidying up the rooms on the ground floor for the second time, apparently believing that their guest might decide to conduct an impromptu inspection of the house to look for germs.
Prakash, who had been thrilled beyond measure to hear that Prithvi was returning, was waiting near the gate, hopping around with impatience.
Rajeshwari had watched them with a subdued interest for some time, and then had gone upstairs. Now she was back in the living room, trying to be busy with her phone while waiting for her brother.
Nandini looked down at her dress. Before sitting down to lunch, she had changed her clothes, and had chosen one of the drabbest outfits in her wardrobe – a grey and white cotton churidar. Her hair was tied up in a large bun, and she was confident that she looked haggard after the strenuous time she'd spent in the kitchen. It was the perfect look for the evening.
Rajeshwari walked into the kitchen with an anxious look.
"What's wrong?" Nandini asked concernedly.
"Prithvi should have reached by now," Rajeshwari fretted. "I hope he's okay. I sent him some messages but he hasn't replied."
"Oh...you don't have to worry," Nandini smiled. "He's somewhere close. He will be here any minute."
"How do you know?" Rajeshwari asked, confused. "Are you in touch with him?" she asked with a sudden suspicion.
********************************
Frowning, Prithvi reduced the speed of the SUV as he approached a familiar turning, and then brought it to a halt by the roadside.
The hours he had spent driving around Shamli and the surrounding areas had succeeded in calming him down fleetingly. But the effects were wearing off now...and the infuriating turmoil was skulking back into his head like a ******* parasite...
He would have liked to book a hotel room and stay there for tonight at least. But Rajeshwari would be waiting for him. His sister was going to be tense and edgy around him for some days. And it would be better if he could start to set her mind at ease at the earliest.
Prithvi sat still for a few more minutes, then he muttered a foul expletive under his breath and restarted the car.
****************************************
Nandini bit her tongue and cursed herself. "No, no, of course not," she exclaimed. "I don't really know...I just wanted to make you feel better."
"Oh...alright," Rajeshwari muttered. She glanced around to check that she wasn't being overheard, and then turned apprehensively to Nandini. "What if I break down when I see him?" she whispered in distress. "If I start crying, I will end up telling him what happened."
"That won't happen," Nandini said with a gentle but firm reassurance. "You will not cry. You are a brave, tough woman. So, you will greet him with a smile and remain calm. Take a few deep breaths, you'll feel better."
As Rajeshwari obeyed her without question, Nandini mulled wretchedly that she was a fraud. It was doubtful there would anyone less qualified at least in the town of Shamli to give such assurances. Her heart was pounding, her brain was whirling around dementedly and her mouth and throat felt horribly dry. And now the smells from the various savoury and sweet items in the kitchen were making her feel nauseated.
Then she felt her insides knot up suddenly.
"He's here," she murmured without thinking, and then cursed herself on realising she had made the same mistake again. "I heard the sound of a car," she told Rajeshwari quickly by way of explanation.
"You did?" Rajeshwari said, puzzled. "But I didn't hear anything."
She walked to the kitchen's door and peered out. Then she spun back, shaking her head. "He isn't here yet. You must have heard something else. Nandini, you remember what I said, right? You have to be somewhere near me at all times. And whenever possible, you must talk to him in private and find out if he has learnt anything."
"I remember," Nandini said pacifyingly.
*********************************
Prithvi saw a young boy almost leaping in enthusiasm at Vrindavan's gate.
The strain on his features lifted temporarily, and he smiled as he brought the SUV to a stop in front of the house.
Grinning widely, Prakash came running around the front of the car and stood a few feet away, bouncing in gleeful excitement. Although it was the magnificent SUV that had caught his attention first, he had forgotten his fascination with the vehicle upon noticing the person behind the wheel.
Prakash stared with wonder at the powerful-looking man who was getting down from the SUV. Prithvi had always had the formidable air of command, but now he seemed even more awe-inspiring.
"What? You're too old to hug people now?" Prithvi demanded.
With a happy laugh, Prakash darted to him, and received a quick but warm hug and an affectionate pat on the head.
"When did you learn to walk on stilts?" Prithvi asked him with interest.
"But I'm not on stilts," Prakash said in confusion, and then chuckled sheepishly on grasping the meaning of the question.
Prithvi grinned at him. Then he opened the rear door of the vehicle and picked up a big carry bag that was resting against his luggage.
He handed it to Prakash. "That's for you."
Prakash opened the bag eagerly, and was thrilled to find a huge bunch of chocolates and other eatables.
"Some are for that girl you've been trying to impress," Prithvi said solemnly.
Prakash gaped at him in amazement. "How did you know about her?"
"I didn't," Prithvi confessed with a grin.
Prakash grinned in embarrassment. Then, unable to resist the temptation, he touched the car reverently. "It looks so awesome," he said in admiration.
"She," Prithvi corrected him seriously. "And she doesn't like being called 'it'. Gets offended and starts sulking. And if anyone calls her 'it' twice, she starts by herself and tried to run them over."
Prakash chuckled at the story, but shot an uneasy glance at the SUV. Then he clutched the precious bag of goodies to his chest, and excitedly said, "I'll tell everyone you're here."
Just before entering the gate, he touched the car again. "I'm sorry, okay. Don't be mad. You're the most beautiful girl I've seen," he whispered nervously, and then vaulted towards the house.
Prithvi grinned mischievously. However, he turned serious as he looked at Vrindavan. He should have called up the family personally to let them know that he planned to stay in Ayodhya for some days. He'd simply felt too weary to do it...
But it was unforgivable that he hadn't called up Sumer Singh to inform him that he was in Shamli.
With a deep sigh, Prithvi locked the vehicle, and strode towards the house.
**********************************
"I wish I didn't have to keep anything from Prithvi," Rajeshwari said unhappily. "He isn't just the best brother. He's also the nicest person I know. He thinks of everyone. I don't think of anyone except myself," she said bitterly.
With a constriction in her chest, Nandini gently said, "That's not true. You're a good human being and -"
"I don't think I am," Rajeshwari said dolefully. "It's not that I'm not mean or cruel. I hate seeing anyone in pain. It makes me want to run away. But it doesn't come naturally to me to think about others. But Prithvi...when I spoke to him for the second time, he told me to -"
Both the women in the kitchen were startled to hear an excited Prakash yell, "He's here. Prithvi bhaiya is here."
Nandini groaned on the inside as Rajeshwari swivelled towards the living room. But she smiled hastily as Rajeshwari turned to her again with an alarmed expression.
"It will be okay. You can do this," Nandini whispered, though she wasn't sure if she was talking to Rajeshwari or herself.
Rajeshwari nodded bravely, but clutched Nandini's arm. "Come with me."
"Sure," Nandini said brightly even as she earnestly prayed that an underground tunnel would open up for her at right this minute...
As they walked towards the living room, she saw her mother hastening to the main door, joyfully saying, "Prithvi, why are you standing there? Come in, come in."
Prithvi smiled fondly at the woman who was hurrying towards him.
He had learnt the true value of many things in life in the last few years. And among the foremost of them was the pricelessness of a mother's unconditional love, especially when it come from an immaculate heart.
Post his departure from Devgarh as a child, even though the rough time he had spent on the streets, he had received maternal affection and nurturing from many sources. But the love had almost always come with the need to control him or the firm determination to fit him into a particular mould, or often, the dream of adopting him legally.
The affection he had received from Sarojini Bharadwaj had been different. She had always been gentle and perceptive, and had tried to look after him in her own subtle, non-obtrusive way, with no hidden motives or expectations. Although he had not reciprocated with any noticeable respect or warmth since he had been a bigger a****** back then, he had appreciated her mellow, pure affection. However, he hadn't really known back then how rare and precious it was...
Prithvi walked up to Sarojini and gave her a hug
Sarojini was stumped by the unexpected act of affection, and unexpectedly, tears welled up in her eyes. She caught his face and kissed his forehead.
"How are you, Mrs Bharadwaj?" he asked warmly.
"Fine...fine," Sarojini said shakily, dabbing at her eyes with the edge of her cotton saree's pallu.
Rajeshwari let go of Nandini's arm and walked up to Prithvi, her heart flooded with emotion. She couldn't share her problem with him because it would permanently destroy her image in his mind. But she was still extremely glad and relieved that he would be around her during this painful time. She could live with the anxiety if it meant she would have his affectionate and calming presence.
Prithvi glanced at his sister who was walking towards him with a smile. The shadows of uncertainty and anxiety on her face caused his anger towards his mother to ratchet up. But he could also tell instantly that she was not going to unburden herself anytime soon.
Not revealing his bleak resignation, he smiled warmly and returned his sister's quick embrace.
"You've grown much taller since I last saw you, Rai," Prithvi said seriously. "It was the same with Prakash. There must be something different about the diet or air here," he reflected.
Rajeshwari laughingly asked, "How can I have grown taller in two weeks?"
"Hey, I'm just stating the facts," Prithvi insisted. "You could almost pass for an eleven-year-old now."
Transfixed, Nandini gazed at him in stark astonishment, unaware that her eyes were glistening. He had embraced her mother...and had spoken with such warmth. And he had met Rajeshwari too with greatly touching affection.
But it was the smiles that he had offered her mother and Rajeshwari that had shocked her the most. The unimaginably sweet and breath-taking smile had grasped her heart and twisted it. It was...it always had been...the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.
Nandini felt a painful wrench in her chest on recalling their meeting in the morning. He had spoken in a courteous tone throughout and had even made coffee for her. But he had not smiled at her once...
Becoming conscious of the moisture in her eyes, she glanced away and blinked back the dampness somehow.
Then she received a jolt as Prithvi glanced suddenly at her.
"Hello, how have you been?" he asked politely.
It was the exact question she had posed to him in the morning...
"Fine," Nandini muttered.
Prakash jumped into the conversation, holding up the bag in his hands triumphantly. "Bhaiya brought lots of chocolates for us."
The declaration seemed to break the emotional spell cast on everyone, and then there was a flurry of activity in the living room.
Sarojini realised in horror that she hadn't even asked their treasured guest to sit down, let alone fulfil the other duties of a host. She urged Prithvi to sit down, and asked him about his journey and if he had eaten on the way.
Prakash enthusiastically brought water, and then tea to the living room, and served their guests.
Nandini wasn't sure if her mother had given her any instructions and she had not heard it...or if Prakash had volunteered to single-handedly fulfil the responsibilities of a good host. But she was thankful that she could continue to be in the living room and gaze at the familiar stranger in her house.
The phrase that had occurred to her in the morning was still the one that felt most apt for the man who was interacting with her mother with a natural ease and comfort that suggested he had been talking to her frequently for years.
He also brought Prakash and Rajeshwari into the conversation with a beguiling charm and humour, and his droll narration of the experience of driving to Shamli elicited hearty laughter from all of them.
Nandini was sure she would laugh too...if she could concentrate on what he was saying. But his smiles had stolen her complete attention, and she felt incapable of focusing on anything else.
Rajeshwari looked at her once or twice at the beginning, and she tried to respond discreetly with an encouraging nod and smile. But Rajeshwari seemed to become fully comfortable soon and did not glance at her again.
Nandini's breath caught in her throat when the snacks were brought to the living room. She waited in an unbearable tension as Prithvi teasingly asked her mother if plans were afoot to fatten him up for cannibalistic purposes.
As everyone laughed, he reached for one of the items... the vegetable cutlets that she had prepared...
A wild, abandoned joy spiralled through her, along with some other equally powerful emotions...
Shaken, she excused herself with a murmur and scurried upstairs to her room, and she remained there for a considerable time, fighting a ferocious battle against her own heart.
She didn't hear anyone come into her room, and was badly startled by her mother's furious voice.
"Nandini, what kind of behaviour was that?" Sarojini asked angrily, glaring down at her daughter.
Nandini stood up warily. "What did I do?"
"Where should I begin?" Sarojini snapped. "Prithvi asked you a question but you did not answer him properly or ask him how he was. Then you did not sit with the rest of us, and just stood near the kitchen, leaning like a pillar of stone on the wall. I asked you to bring water and tea for him, and you ignored me. And you did not even smile once or speak to him."
Red-faced, Nandini mumbled, "I'm sorry, I didn't realise -"
"Didn't realise you were humiliating our whole family with this atrocious behaviour?" Sarojini asked harshly. "Is this what I've taught you? You will have to go to someone else's home one day. Is this how you will behave when guests come to your house? Will I have to hear taunts about my upbringing from your in-laws?"
"If you face taunts, it will only be from people who visit this house. So, you have that much less to worry about," Nandini retorted angrily, and stalked away in anger.
It had been long since her temper increased to the point of inducing tears, and as usual, it made her feel weak and useless. She hated it when that happened. But she had experienced enough emotional drama in her own head since morning, and had crossed her saturation point...
Nandini was halfway up the stairs leading to the terrace when it hit her that she was heading towards a specific room in Ayodhya, which was the only place she could find peace. But she couldn't go there anymore because the original occupant was back.
Nandini hesitated for some minutes, trying to decide if she could spend some time on the terrace. She was almost certain that Prithvi was not going to be there, but if he was...
The ache in her heart intensified piercingly.
It was a sacrosanct space for her...filled with a thousand beautiful memories. She didn't want it to be sullied by any unpleasantness. But she couldn't avoid going to the terrace till he was in Ayodhya.
And even otherwise, she couldn't keep living in the past, could she...
Nandini's features tautened with grief and anger. In fact, it would be for the best if those memories were ruined for her. It would serve her right for acting like a besotted fool who was a puppet in the hands of her heart.
She opened the door and stepped into the terrace.
The area atop both the houses was vacant.
Focussing on relief rather than emotions that demeaned her own self, Nandini strolled towards the other end of the terrace. She paused upon reached the boundary wall, and gazed down at the serene sight of the temple and the familiar figures in the surrounding area. The increasing chill in the breeze would soon compel them to return to their houses, but for now, they were chatting with friends or enjoying their evening walk. Some office-goers were returning home, while groups of small children were playing cricket or other games. Occasionally, the faint sounds of the temple bell could be heard...
The pleasant view did not calm the monstrous turmoil within her.
Apart from the fact that she had completed her education and secured a good job, everything she had done in the past few years had proven to be useless. The prayers she had offered had gone unheard. The strict fasts and rituals she had performed devoutly had been ignored. She'd believed she had learnt to control her emotions and thoughts, but everything she had done since morning was evidence that she was still the same pathetic, weak-willed, emotional idiot she had been years ago...
With her mind far away, Nandini gazed at the temple until a flutter of agitation gave her a warning. She ignored it and continued to stare ahead mulishly. Although she was desperate to avoid another thorny talk, the idea of being caught hurrying away was abhorrent.
"Hey."
As her heart jumped to her throat, Nandini swivelled towards the neighbouring house.
Prithvi was standing in the corner of Ayodhya's terrace, facing her.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he enquired.
She stared at him warily, then murmured, "Okay."
"Can I come over to that side? It's not very convenient to talk like this," he said seriously.
Nandini replied with an awkward nod.
"Thanks," Prithvi said sincerely.
As he began to walk to the small bridge between the houses, she did the same, albeit at a much slower pace.
He had crossed the bridge before she reached halfway.
Nandini halted in the centre of the terrace, crossing her arms tightly, as he strode towards her. He looked as calm and nonchalant as he had in the morning, while her heart seemed to be dissolving in anguish...
The continued contrast between their emotional states suddenly became too much for her to bear.
Just as he paused at a respectable distance, she abruptly asked, "What did you do with the things I'd brought?"
Prithvi studied her thoughtfully for a moment, then nonchalantly said, "I added a few more things to your charity package and gave it to an orphanage. I did tell them about one of the tetrapacks and coffee jar having been opened," he added industriously. "But they didn't mind. And the security guard was happy to receive the newspaper. I would reimburse you for the expenses, but I'm worried you might throw the money in my face or go for some other grand gesture that I would wholeheartedly dislike," he admitted. "So, I added that amount to a somewhat respectable sum and donated it to the same place."
As she had expected to hear that he had thrown the items away, his reply would actually have soothed her tremendously...if not for the other words that had been uttered with a careless cruelty...
"It wasn't charity," Nandini said unsteadily.
Regarding her with a highly puzzled air, he asked, "No? Then what was it supposed to be?"
Nandini swallowed hard. It was taking every bit of her strength to meet his gaze...
"I – I just wanted to help," she murmured.
"That sounds remarkably like something you would say while being charitable," Prithvi pointed out solemnly. "Look, I will gladly accept whatever your family does for me, and I have no issues with anything you might do for me as a part of that family," he shrugged. "If you tell me you were simply trying to be neighbourly this morning and wanted to do what any of your family members might have done for me, then I will apologise. Tell me...is that it? Is that why you went to so much trouble?" he asked politely.
Shrinking with pain and dread, Nandini looked down and away. The icy derision that had suddenly become evident in his gaze was unendurable. What suicidal impulse had made her raise the question... And if she'd wanted an answer, she should have sought it while sitting down, so she wouldn't have felt afraid of sinking to her knees.
The silence grew more strained and tensed with each second as he waited for an answer.
Nandini withstood the choking tension for as long as she could...but then a single word was wrenched out of her...
"No," she muttered wretchedly, shutting her eyes.
The act saved her from seeing the withering contempt and glacial satisfaction that glimmered briefly in his eyes.
"I did appreciate the gesture," Prithvi said sardonically. "But you should try to reserve the generosity for your family, friends and the poor. Don't waste it on acquaintances," he counselled. "And I'm sorry if I misled you with my behaviour this morning. The coffee was just a small token of gratitude for the help you offered Rajeshwari, and for the trouble you took for bringing all those things. But I assure you...I wasn't trying to be friendly," he said honestly. "Now if you don't mind, can I talk to you about the issue I had in mind?"
Without raising her pale face, she mumbled, "Yes."
"It's about Rajeshwari," Prithvi said casually. "She's starting to become emotionally dependent on you. It's most likely because you helped her out of a tight spot, and she thinks she can trust you to help her in the future as well. But as of now, she has not grown very close or attached to you, and it would be great if you do what you can to keep it that way."
Bewildered, Nandini looked up at him.
"I know...it's a strange request," he conceded. "But I know my sister quite well. For example, I'm sure she has asked you to help her keep a tab on me in some way," he stated shrewdly.
Flustered by the sharpness in his gaze, Nandini reluctantly said, "Yes...she has asked me to be with her when you're around. And to talk to you occasionally to find out if you've heard anything about – what happened."
Prithvi nodded. "Like I said, I know her. She's feeling vulnerable and alone right now, and if she becomes too attached or dependent on you at this time, she will start believing she needs your constant support and guidance later on as well. That will not be possible beyond a point, and it will only make her life difficult."
She looked at him silently for some seconds with a growing understanding in her eyes. Then she quietly asked, "What exactly do you want me to do?"
"You can be kind and caring towards her but try not go overboard with the affection," he said flatly. "Maintain a little bit of distance, and don't let her assume she has found a best friend for life in you. That's all."
Nandini wished she could consent to the request and walk away. It would be the easiest and most comfortable way to end this conversation that was making her insides shrivel up...
Steeling her nerves, she softly said, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I can plan out a relationship like that. And I also cannot distance myself from her intentionally, especially when she's going through such a difficult time."
"But since when is that a problem for you?" he asked in innocent confusion.
Nandini stared at him in shock, paralysed by the resurgence of an unspeakable pain. She had known where the talk was headed, but had still been caught unawares by the intensity of the agony that was tearing her apart.
Lowering her ashen face, she walked around him and rushed to the door as fast as she could with trembling limbs.
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