Emilia's POV
Details make a huge difference for many things including art. It's what makes a portrait lifelike or a painted landscape display its organic nature. They somehow heighten your senses and you can almost extract yourself from reality and dive into the scene created on the thick paper or canvas.
It's amazing what just a few lines and stokes can do to make a piece of art come to life before your eyes and tell a story that you didn't even know existed. Ashton puts so much work into his art and each piece has a story behind it. Who knew that looking through a sketchbook could be such an adventure?
The night Ashton sat with me in the living room was like a mini road trip inside his mind. Page after page I saw his subconscious revealed on paper and how the world is viewed through his eyes. He notices such tiny details in his surroundings and applies them to his work. Pretty much everything that I saw was of scenery, but as simple as it sounds, it is anything but.
The gazebo that's just outside the library on campus looks even more stunning on paper than it does in real life. Everything he sketched was spot on down to the slanted pillar that makes me question the safety of the structure, and even the rings of the wood were visible. He also included the little notches on the wooden rails and bench circling around the entire structure from all the skateboarders who try to grind against it but ultimately fail which always led to many laughing fits by me.
Aside from scenery, there are even a few sketches of random people around campus lounging around, though what I found absolutely heartwarming was the sketch of Luke, Michael, and Calum all sitting in their living room, laughing with each other. They all look so happy in each other's company and part of me wonders what it is they were laughing about.
Ashton told me that he drew it when he no longer felt the depression consuming him and actually had fun for the first time since moving to the states. I kind of wish that he included himself in the picture just so that I can see his bright expression from that day.
As much as I would have liked to continue my guided tour of his sketchbook, there was no escape of our tired minds and bodies. Ashton and I barely made it a quarter the way through the book before we succumbed to exhaustion.
There is still so much more for me to see but I can't because my one track mind decided to forget the book in Ashton's room before I left with Julia to go back home to our apartment. These last few days since I've been home have been the ultimate form of torture because I finally had the sketchbook in my grasp and I let it easily slip between my fingers. Now Ashton keeps teasing me on the phone every time we call each other and tells me that there's some pretty damn good stuff in it and that I'm missing out.
I would go get it but Julia won't let me have a spare moment as she consults me with her online shopping spree. Day-after Christmas sales are still going on and the beginning of New Year's sales just made it worse.
"We only have until midnight to get the free shipping," she says as she clicks away on my laptop to add clothes to her already filled shopping cart.
"And if you wait a few days, they'll have another sale that gives you free shipping," I reply, falling onto my back and letting the mattress cushion the impact. Shipping, color, size, jeans, a thirty minute explanation of the difference between shirts and blouses; I'm at my wits end and if I hear another word about anything relating to clothes or fashion, I might have a mental breakdown.
"True, but they won't have what I want in stock by then. It's called limited edition for a reason, Em," she sasses and then tosses the blue measuring tape at me. "Now make yourself useful and help me measure my waist so I know I'm getting the right size."
I sit myself upright and wait for her to lift up her shirt before wrapping the tape around the smallest part of her slim waist.
"And I thought I would be the only one who would get to see that," Calum says with a cheeky grin while standing in my doorway with a cup of coffee in his hand as he stares at Julia's midriff.
"Please, I've seen more of her than I would have liked before you came along," I joke, although it is true. After years of living with Julia, I can easily recall of all the freckles and moles that are hidden on her body.
"I'm pretty sure there's one place that I've seen and you haven't," he says with a sly grin and subtle wink.
My face contours into disgust and he laughs at my reaction. Pervert.
Julia giggles like it's nothing and jots down her waist size and selects the size medium on the website. "Em, what are you wearing tonight to the firework show?" she asks and grabs one of the many gift cards that her grandparents got her for Christmas and inputs the card number to pay.
We all made plans to go downtown where a fireworks show will be held to celebrate the New Year. There will be a lot of vendors selling food, drinks, and game booths for the kids will be available but abused by childlike adults who just want a stuffed teddy bear as a prize. I don't know all the detail regarding these plans except for the fact that I'm going, but I'm trying not to make a fuss about the hidden details.
I look down to my baggy sweatshirt and leggings and deem it as an appropriate outfit for an outing. "This?"
"Come on, Emmie," Calum huffs, "Spice it up a little. Show some skin. Make Ashton drool and want to take you right then and there at the very sight of you. I mean he probably already wants to, but dressing up might make Pinocchio's nose grow without having to tell a lie if you know what I mean."
"I got it, Calum," I groan, not wanting to hear any more suggestions or sexual innuendos that defile Disney characters.
"Calum may have a point," Julia says. "Why not switch things up?"
"Because Ashton likes the way I dress and I don't have any intention of changing myself for the benefit of others," I answer simply. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Ash: the day I dress for a man is the day they dress me to meet Jesus."
Calum snaps his fingers from side-to-side and says in his sassiest tone, "You go girl," before we burst into a fit of laughter.
There's no point in changing my appearance if Ashton doesn't give a damn. Just because a new year is upon us doesn't mean that I have to change myself. He likes whatever I wear and if I want to pretty myself up for him then I will when the time comes, but as of right now, impressing him isn't my priority.
My attention drifts to my phone vibrating next to me. I open up the new text message and a grin overtakes my face.
"Come over already," Ashton's message reads. "I miss you and I don't want to drive with Mikey. If you recall, the last time he was in my car he threw up." Michael is never going to live that down.
I shift my gaze away from my phone and glance over to Julia and Calum. "Are you guys ready to leave?" I ask. "Ashton wants us to come over now."
"Aw, is Ashy missing you already?" Calum coos mockingly.
"No," I lie, but he can see right through me.
"Tell him we'll be over in ten minutes," Julia says with her eyes glued to the computer screen, engrossed in her shopping. "I'm almost done, just let me finish paying and we can go."
Calum hands me the cup in his hand. "Hold this for me," he says before grabbing Julia's hips and pulling her over his shoulder. "Time to go, Jules. Shopping can wait."
She squeals and squirms around, but his grip keeps her in place. "I was almost done!" she shouts a bit too loudly and I won't be surprised if our neighbor starts banging on the wall and tells us to shut up for making too much noise. "I just need to put in the security code!"
"Emmie, can you get her jacket? My hands are a little full," Calum says as he walks out of my room and out the apartment.
I laugh at the two and grab our jackets. They're a bit of an odd couple, but they're really cute when together and I love watching them interact. I'm satisfied with my own relationship, but sometimes whenever I see them all I can think is: relationship goals.
"We'll be over there in a few minutes," I reply to Ashton. "Be sure to let Michael down easy about the car situation."
I have to tune out Julia and her whining in the car for not being able to complete her order online, but thankfully by the time we make it to the boys' house she calms down and ends her hissy fit. However, I know she won't be happy when we go back home and sees that the webpage has closed out and everything that was in her cart is wiped clean. This just means that I'll have to endure another day of the game: "Does this shirt go well with my skin-tone?"
Just as we open the front door, Ashton and Luke scurry out holding several blankets in their arms and toss them into the trunk of Ashton's car.
Ashton jogs back over to me and gives me a chaste kiss on the cheek. "You look cute today," he says, referring to my boring outfit and I stick my tongue out at Calum and Julia to rub in their faces that I was right about what he thinks of my appearance. "I'd love to sit and chat but I need to finish getting everything ready for tonight."
"Get what ready, exactly?" I ask, moving inside the heated house. "What are you planning?"
"You'll see later tonight," he assures. "Can you go get Michael? I'm almost done putting everything in the car and then we can leave." He doesn't give me time to reply before he takes off into the kitchen and beginning grabbing snacks from the cupboard.
Without much of a choice, I tread up the stairs and knock three times on Michael's bedroom door. I knock another two times when he doesn't answer. Fed up with his incapability to answer the goddamn door, I swing it open and he doesn't even notice that I've walked inside. The red-head sits at his desk with his laptop open and what looks to be noise canceling headphones over his ears.
"Michael?" I call, but he doesn't turn around. Taking this rare opportunity, I scan the room and it's a little messy, just a few clothes scattered about, but other than that it's pretty clean. I've never seen his room before, let alone been inside it. His bed is made and I smile when I see that lying on top of the burgundy blanket with the pages sprawled out is the book that I bought him for Christmas. He must really be enjoying it seeing that the little ribbon bookmark is placed nearly halfway through the pages.
With Michael's back still facing me, I silently tiptoe over to him and hover over his shoulder to see what he's doing on his computer. On one side of the screen is a white chat box while the other has a webcam video image of a dark-haired woman. His short fingers type away at the keyboard as he writes within the chat box, his replies popping up immediately after the mystery female.
It isn't until the woman types, "who's that behind you," when Michael realizes that he's not alone in his room. When his head turns to face me he nearly jumps out of his seat and lets out a high-pitched yelp as he falls out of his chair.
"Jesus Christ, Emmie," he shouts, "Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"I didn't sneak up on you," I say with an innocent grin. "I was just standing behind you and you didn't notice. Who was that anyway?" I lean towards the screen to get a better look, but the video is already gone and the chat has been disconnected. I think I might have scared off mystery girl.
"It wasn't anyone," he says, obviously lying through his teeth as he sits back on the chair.
"Come on, tell me!"
"I did tell you," he teases, which only increases my curiosity.
"That's not fair," I whine. "I basically told you my life story a few months ago and I don't even get the same benefit from you? I call a double standard!"
He lets out a long sigh as though admitting defeat.
"So how do you know her? Is she a friend? She looked older than you. Is she from school? Did you have class with her?" I bombard him with questions, hoping to get all that I can from him.
He bites his lip and avoids eye contact, forcing his eyes to gaze everywhere except at me. I narrow my eyes at him and take matters into my own hands. I rub my index finger over the track pad on his laptop and minimize the current page to view the webpage that's hiding behind it. Michael tries to stop me, but I push his hands away and read the glowing screen.
"Name: Michael Gordon Clifford, Age: 23, Occupation: Student, Interests: computer science, reading, changing hair color...is this a dating profile?" I ask incredulously.
His eyes continue to avoid mine as he scratches the back of his neck with flushed cheeks.
"It is, isn't it?" My grin grows even wider and as much as I would like to laugh at how he has resorted to online dating, I find it cute that he's on the search for someone to date.
"Will you lower your voice, woman?" he harshly whispers. "I don't want everyone to find out."
"Sorry," I mumble, lowering my voice a few decibels. "So why are you on a dating website?"
His drags his hand down his face and then cups his chin, rubbing the light stubble there. "I don't really have much luck with girls in person so I thought I would try online," he explains. "I've been single for a while and I wouldn't mind having someone in my life. Seeing you, Ashton, Calum, and Julia together is a little bittersweet and I want what you guys have."
The way he's confiding in me right now reminds me of when he drove me home after my first encounter with Jared and I told him the details of that night. We've switched roles and now I'm the one who he can trust and spill his secrets to. I always knew that he trusted me, but this only confirms it and I couldn't be more ecstatic about it, however, a small sliver of guilt eats at me for unintentionally causing him to feel this way.
"So you thought online dating would be the safe route to go? You do know that people lie on these things all the time," I say. "How old was that girl you were chatting with anyway?"
"She never said," he hesitantly replies, knowing full well that she could very well be a cougar searching for some young prey to feast on.
I sigh and go sit on his bed. "First off, I think it would be wise for you to find someone your own age instead of chatting up someone who could potentially be old enough to be your mom. Second, there are plenty of people who you can meet in person. There may not have been anyone this year, but just think, we're going to be starting a new semester soon which means new classmates for you to set your eyes on. Don't give up just yet. You'll find someone," I assure, probably giving him the most generic advice, but it's all I've got, "and if you don't, at least wait until you're close to thirty before signing up for anymore dating sites."
His laugh reverberates off the walls of the small room. "Thirty, huh?" he mocks. "Well then I better step up my flirting game."
"I'm rooting for you." I want not only him, but Luke as well to be happy and meet someone who they can share experiences and memories with. They, just like everyone else in the world, deserve to obtain the happiness that a significant other brings.
Our conversation comes to an end when a single knock followed by Ashton swinging the door open gains our attention. His eyes drift to mine and I now remember that he sent me up here for a reason.
"You two ready?" Ashton asks, leaning his weight on the door frame. "We're about to leave."
"Yeah," Michael and I answer, following Ashton out of his room and down the stairs.
I nudge Michael's side with my elbow once we're halfway down and whisper humorously, "So what dating site did you use?"
He grumbles under his breath, "eHarmony." I have to cover my mouth to stifle a laugh. He playfully pushes my arm once we reach the bottom on the staircase and I apologize for making fun of him, but he brushes it off and says that my mocking him is payback for all the times he messed with me this year. Fair enough.
We head outside and split up into Ashton's and Calum's cars before heading downtown. Thankfully, Ashton doesn't ask why I was taking so long in Michael's room, but even if he did, what Michael and I talked about stays between the two of us.
Luke stays pretty quiet the entire drive and even dozes off a few times before we reach downtown. These last few days he has been looking everywhere in his room for Natalie's wedding invitation, but can't seem to find it. I wouldn't be surprised if he turned his room inside-out during his search. He sent me texts telling me to name off odd places to look just in case he hid it or something, but that didn't even work. He only has a few more days before he has to send the RSVP off and the last thing he wants to do is call Natalie to tell her he's coming.
"We're here," Ashton announces excitedly, breaking me out of my thoughts.
I gaze out the windshield and the lively, colorful lights that are hanging from building to building brighten the night sky. This is only a sample of what's going to come once we walk out of the car lot and onto the city streets which only increases my excitement. We catch up with Calum and the others (who didn't park that far away from us) and head out onto the crowded streets.
Blue lights are tangled around the hundreds of small barren trees that are lined along the promenade. White lanterns replace the normal street lamps with rich, red poinsettias circling the light structure. Confetti litters the ground and the tall clock tower at the end of the street casts a subtle glow of blue, purple, and yellow across downtown, adding to the festive New Year's Eve celebration.
"Have you ever been here before?" Ashton asks as he takes my hand in his to keep us from getting separated in the large crowd.
"A few times when I was younger with mine and Julia's family," I answer, squeezing between the people around me.
"Have you ever celebrated New Year's with anyone other than family?"
"No, I've never had anyone to celebrate it with."
He tilts his head down towards me and his eyes almost sparkle from all the lights around us. "It's a good thing we're going to change that," he says and gives my hand a light squeeze before pulling me to the side of the street to one of the food trucks.
After a few days of not being around Ashton, hanging out with him now seems to be much more meaningful. It doesn't feel like time has been lost, but rather set on pause so that when we reunite, time can be resumed. I haven't had a proper conversation with him until now and hearing his voice blab on about how great the cinnamon pretzel that he buys for me is actually more exciting than hearing his static voice through the phone.
We sample different food from many of the trucks and share with the others to avoid spending too much money. It's bad enough that the food is overpriced, but the highly delicious flavors make up for it. We also check out several of the street performances and live music and applaud at their talent. It's a little nerving being around so many people, but I try to ignore them and enjoy my time with my friends because something like this only happens once a year and I don't want to miss a single moment.
The temperature drops as it gets later into the night and I wrap my arms over my thick jacket as we continue walking down the street. Ashton drapes his arm over my shoulder and uses his hand to rub up and down my arm, trying to create friction to warm me up.
"Are you ready to go?" he asks, pulling me closer to him to avoid bumping into the intoxicated man staggering in front of me.
I give him a quizzical expression and stop in my tracks. "But the fireworks haven't started yet. We still have under half an hour."
"We're still going to see them, just not here."
"Then where?"
A sly smirk creeps onto his face. "You'll see," he says and turns around to gather everyone together. "We should head out and get this plan rolling," he tells Calum who shares his smirk.
Ashton ignores all my questions of where we're going the entire walk to his car. I try to pry answers out of Luke as we drive again, but he keeps his lips tightly shut. At least I'm not the only one out of the loop because after I sent Julia a text asking if she knew what was going on, she too was clueless.
We drive out not too far from downtown and the festive lights are still visible from the empty parking lot on a hill that overlooks the town where Ashton parks. Music can still be heard and the cheering from all the pedestrians echo all the way over here. But what I find not only impressive, but also breathtaking is the view of the clock tower. The face of the clock has a golden glow that contrasts against the brighter, more vibrant colors that light the tower, not to mention, it's right in my line of sight and I don't have to crane my neck just to see its beauty.
"How did you find this place?" I ask Ashton who is attractively slouching against the hood of his car.
"When I was driving around going Christmas shopping I stopped here to take a little break because the traffic was terrible," he explains. "I thought the view was perfect so instead of having to watch the firework in a crowd, I figured, why deal with so many people when we can enjoy the sight by ourselves?" He looks impressed with himself and he has all reason to.
Even Luke is impressed as he takes in the view for the first time in person. His blue eyes that have darkened from the lack of light scan the area and even though it's subtle, his dimples peek out as a small smile forms across his lips.
"You really outdid yourself, Ash," I say with a chuckle.
He shrugs modestly. "I wanted your last surprise of the year to be the best one yet."
If Luke weren't here right now I'd probably tackle Ashton and kiss him, but I'd rather not scar Luke again for witnessing our intimacy. He, as well as the other boys, have caught or walked in on us one too many times and I'd rather not add to the number.
I go sit next to Ashton on the hood of the car and lie back on the cool metal with an enormous smile on my face. Out of all the surprises that Ashton has planned for me, this one is without a doubt the best. I love everything that he has done before this, but what I love most about this particular surprise is that it's not just us that will enjoy it; our friends will too.
"Where are the others?" I ask and sit upright because the cold metal is making me freeze and it doesn't help that the temperature keeps dropping by the hour.
Luke comes over and sits to the other side of Ashton with his hands in his coat pockets. "He went to go pick something up for us," he says.
"From where? Isn't everything closed for the night?"
"I didn't say he was going to a store," he points out with a small grin. "They're picking up something that we forgot at home."
It isn't long before Calum's truck pulls in next to Ashton's. He parks to where the truck bed is facing the clock tower and Ashton pulls out all the blankets from his car's trunk and hands one out to everyone. Michael steps out of the car holding up a bottle of champagne and some red plastic cups that he brought from their house.
"Classy," I mumble under my breath and Ashton snickers next to me.
We all huddle together in the back of the truck, snuggling in our blankets to keep warm and watch the hands of the clock slowly move as we near midnight. Even though we had food downtown, we still pig out on the snacks that Ashton packed into the trunk. Once chanting can be heard from downtown and we all hop out of the truck and join in, shouting at the top of our lungs as the countdown begins.
"10...9...8..."
So much has happened this year. So many memories made with such wonderful people. So many adventures experienced that were frightening and others, mind-blowing.
"7...6...5..."
Ashton laces our fingers together as he holds tightly onto my hand and brings his mouth to my ear. The noise around us ceases as he whispers, "So I think it's about time you should know that I have started to like you less now..."
"4...3...2...1..."
I don't have time to react as the cheers of the New Year roar across town and Ashton's lips move to mine causing my body to still momentarily until I feel him smile against me. He pulls away only slightly and continues, "...mostly because I have started to love you more."
I playfully hit his arm and laugh. "You scared me for a second!" I shout. "You couldn't just say Happy New Year like everyone else, could you?"
"You should know me better than that," he teases.
"You'd think I'd learn after a while, but sometimes you're just full of surprises."
He uses his thumb and index finger to tilt my chin up. "Happy New Year, Emilia," he says and kisses me again as the fireworks explode behind us, shattering into thousands of sparks in a variety of colors.
We toast with champagne and huddle back in the truck and watch the firework show in its entirety, aweing at the shapes and designs that burst in the sky. With my back pressed against Ashton's chest and his chin resting at the top of my head as he holds me tightly, I can't imagine a better way to start off this New Year.
_________
I roll over, seeking the warmth of my personal heater, but when my body doesn't bump into him and instead falls onto cold bed sheet, I groan and allow my eyes to slowly open and adjust to the harsh lighting that is nearly blinding. I call his name and scan the room for Ashton but his tall figure is nowhere to be seen.
I toss the blanket to the side, check to make sure my necklace is still in place, slide on my bracelet that sits on the bedside table, and wobble over to Ashton's closet and change into the last few pieces of clothing that I left here before heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
Afterwards, I head downstairs where clattering can be heard in the kitchen. Slight disappointment overtakes me when I see Luke's instead of Ashton's head in the refrigerator in the search of food.
"Hey Luke?" I call and he pulls his head out and turns to me. "Where is everyone?"
He closes the door after grabbing a Chinese takeout box and pops it into the microwave. "The others are sleeping and Ashton told me he was going to the post office to mail off some Christmas gifts or something that he forgot to send to his family. He should be back soon."
I don't remember him mentioning that he had gotten gifts for his family. He would have said something about it to me seeing that he loves to talk about them. It doesn't make sense that he would wait until now to send off mail. "Luke, what's the date?"
"Did you have a little too much champagne last night?" He chuckles. "It's still the first."
"The post office isn't open on the first," I inform, and his humorous smile slowly drops.
"Maybe he went to drop his stuff off at one of the post boxes around town? Have you tried calling him?"
"Not yet, but I will," I reply. Just as I'm about to turn around to head back up the stairs, Luke's voices halts my actions.
"Hey, you're wearing it," he says, pointing to the rose gold bracelet on my wrist.
"Why wouldn't I?"
"You should know why," he says lowly, pulling the hot food out from the microwave just a few seconds before the timer goes off. "You and I both saw the look on Ashton's face when I gave that to you."
"He hasn't said anything about me wearing it so I don't think he minds anymore," I assure and pick off a piece of chicken inside the hot takeout box. However, I immediately regret my action when the small piece of meat burns the inside of my mouth and I sharply intake air to try and cool it off.
"You could have just asked for some," he says, offering me the box.
"Nah, it's more fun this way," I say, taking another piece and this time waiting for it to cool before shoving it in my mouth.
He laughs to himself and pets the top of my head vigorously, causing my hair to turn to disarray. "Quit mooching off of mine and get your own food," he jokes before heading upstairs to his room.
As odd as it is, I'm actually not that hungry. I turn my back to the kitchen and head up to Ashton's room. My priority should be to call him, but when my eyes lock onto his sketchbook on the desk, my priorities change and the book becomes my sole focus. Luke is probably right anyway; Ashton most likely went to one of the post boxes to mail off whatever he has since the post office is closed.
My hand grasps onto the spiral spine and when I pick it up, several of the loose leaf pages slide out and glide down to the floor, pooling around my feet.
"Shit," I mumble, checking to make sure none of the pages have bent as I drop to my knees to pick them up, but not before checking them out.
A majority of the papers are notes from one of his classes and drawn in the margins are miscellaneous objects and animals. Others have attempted sketches of a human body shape or examples of the thickness and harshness of different brush strokes.
I continue gather the artwork together until I spot a slither of red hidden underneath one of the white papers. Driven by curiosity, I move the paper covering it and four small, red envelopes lie in a pile together, each one clad in several stamps, sealed, and ready to be mailed.
It isn't until I see the name on the address when my stomach drops and I realize what these are. I shuffle through the four envelopes until I find the one with "Luke Hemmings" written on the return address. He has been looking for this for days and here it is, hidden within Ashton's sketchbook.
Why would Ashton be holding on to not only Luke's but the other guys' RSVP? Did he think no one would find them if they were in his sketchbook?
Oh shit...
This explains why he was so defensive on Thanksgiving when Michael went searching through his desk drawer. Ashton said it was because he didn't want anyone to look inside his sketchbook and I now understand why. He was hiding these from everyone. He didn't want us to know what was really inside.
My fingers trace over the black ink spelling out Ashton's name as I try to comprehend what I'm holding in my hand. Not once has he ever said he was planning to go to the wedding, but then again, none of us ever asked if he would or not. We all assumed he didn't want any part of it, but for him to have his RSVP stamped and ready to be mailed, he already made his decision.
"Emmie?" Ashton's nervous voice rings through my ears as I stay seated on the floor with my back facing him, firmly grasping onto all four envelopes in my hand. "Emmie, what are you doing on the floor?" he calls out again.
"You were going to send these off, weren't you?" I say monotonously, unable to turn to face him.
"What are you talking about?" I honestly can't tell if he's playing dumb or is genuinely confused.
I pick up the courage to lift myself up off the floor and show him the envelopes in my hand. When his eyes fixate on the red paper, the color drains from his face and every muscle in his body contracts. He opens his mouth to speak up but everything he wants to say is caught in his throat, leaving him completely speechless.
"Yes or no?" My voice is shaky and as his guilty, glossy eyes flicker to mine, I already know the answer.
He inhales sharply and takes a step closer to me. "Emmie, you have to understand-"
"Why didn't you tell any of us?" I cut him off. I don't care about his decision to go to the wedding. I would have supported him either way. But for him to keep this from me...that's what upsets me the most. "Why didn't you tell me?"
He struggles with his words again and his lip quivers. "I wanted to, Emmie, I did." His voice cracks and a pang of hurt almost brings me down from the sight of his deteriorating self.
"When were you going to send them off?"
He runs both hands down his face, but it doesn't erase the worry lines that have made a permanent residence on his forehead. "Today...but I forgot to bring them so I came back for them."
I sigh loudly and my entire body feels like it's being forcibly weighed down. "Why do you want to go?"
He takes a few more steps and stands less than a foot away from me. His hand gently caresses my cheek and he softly rubs his thumb along my skin. "I love you so much, Emilia, but I have to do this—I have to go."
I want for this year to be a new start for Ash, but here he is treading down the same path he was before. I don't think this will ever end unless he gets closure and if going to Natalie's wedding will break him from her spell then so be it.
My shoulder grazes his arm as I push past him and storm out of the room. Luke is already standing outside his room with wide eyes and an unreadable expression. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together to know that he overheard our conversation, however, he still looks slightly confused as to what's going on.
I make my way downstairs and Luke is quick to follow behind me unlike Ashton.
"Emilia, where are you going?" Ashton shouts from the top of the staircase, his body completely stiff and his face full of defeat.
This is the second time I've seen him look at me with such solemn eyes. He knows hiding this from us was wrong. He knows that he made a mistake. And yet, he's not taking the effort to do anything about it; not even to come after me.
"Please just tell me where you're going," he pleas.
My eyes lock on his and for a moment, his face softens as I give him a small forced smile before saying, "To go finish the job."
Ashton doesn't get a chance to say anything before I'm out the door and sitting securely in the passenger seat of his car. Luke has already made himself comfortable in the driver's seat as he starts the engine and pulls out of the driveway and onto the street. I didn't ask for him to drive, but I didn't have much of a choice when he hopped into the car first and took the driver's seat before I could get to it.
"Where do you want me to go?" Luke asks as he mindlessly drives along the snowy road.
"The nearest post box," I say and he doesn't question me.
"So he had our invitations..." Luke says more to himself than to me. "Did he tell you why he wants to go?"
"No."
"Did he say anything?"
"Not really."
"Are you okay?" His tone turns comforting and his hand rests on my thigh momentarily before he moves it onto the gear shift.
I nod. "I'm fine. I'm just more upset about him not telling me."
"Knowing him, he probably thought it would jeopardize your relationship."
"It won't." I love him too much to let that happen. This is just a bump in the road.
He pulls to the side of the road and parks against the curb near a blue post box. "Maybe, but he doesn't know that."
He has a point. My taking off doesn't make things better either. For all I know, Ashton's mind is filled with the worst possible scenarios when in reality, I'm only trying to help him. I should have been clearer and told him exactly what I am doing instead of giving him a vague explanation. God knows he's probably beating himself up about this now.
"I'll talk to him when we get home," I promise before stepping out of the car and over to the post box.
Details are an important factor not only in art, but in reality as well. Whether it is small and insignificant or large and full of secrets, details can change everything. What may not seem like something of importance can literally make an impact greater than imagined. It could be action, spoken words, body language; it doesn't matter—details are details and they shouldn't be taken lightly or else things will go unnoticed.
If only I paid more attention and read into why he didn't want anyone to look inside his sketchbook, if only I pushed more for answers—would that have changed anything? I honestly don't think it would. I had no idea. I looked past the details in front of me without giving them much of a second thought.
That was my mistake.
I drop the envelopes hesitantly one-by-one and let them plummet to the bottom of the metal box before turning on my heel and returning to the car. Luke and I stay silent on the drive back, only because I have nothing to say and he's too busy making sure we don't slide on the slick road.
Once we get to the house, I rush inside, hoping to find Ashton, but instead I find Michael, Calum and Julia staring worriedly at me in the living room. They must have woken up after we left.
"Where's Ashton?" I ask them, but they only look to each other and silently read each other's mind. "Where is he?" I ask again, this time more demanding.
Michael steps up and speaks for them. "He took off with Calum's truck and left his phone here." He holds the smartphone in his hand and with my shaky one, I take it from him.
I turn the phone on and the wallpaper has been changed to a picture of us from last night. It's dark because he didn't use the flash, but you can easily see our silhouettes with fireworks in the background as we share our first kiss of the New Year.
"Where did he go?" I choke out, feeling my lungs constrict as I try and fail to take deep breaths.
Michael shakes his head apprehensively. "Your guess is as good as mine."
All I wanted to do was help Ashton. I wanted to finally free him like he did me, but my attempt failed and instead, he ran. Why did he run from me?
The brims of my eyes begin to burn as the salty liquid begins to build-up until overflowing and streaming down my cheeks. Shushes and comforting words spiral around me and a pair of arms from behind wrap tightly around my shoulders as I breakdown.
Happy fucking New Year to me.
_______
End of book one