JAE ▪︎ POV
I saw the newspaper swing and had time to duck out of the way before it smacked me around the head.
"Mom!"
I hadn't even been able to untie my shoes before she waddled down the hall and began attacking me. My shout seemed to rile her up even more and she swung again. I let this one hit me, her rolled up newspaper connecting with my chest. Smack!
It didn't hurt obviously, but I made a show of screaming dramatically, clutching my pecks and turning away from her as though I'd been struck with a bat and not flimsy paper. "Mom!"
"Don't you Mom me! A week Jaemin! I haven't seen you in a week!"
"I was busy! I had to work!"
And indulge in my secret affair with a married man. It had indeed been a week since Ezra visited me and we ate delicious corn cheese together. The day I agreed to whatever this was between us - which I still wasn't sure of by the way. I was calling it 'friends with benefits'. My guilty conscience was calling it a 'homewrecking love affair'.
Ezra and I had been together three times since then. We were both working on different schedules, him with a business to run and ridiculously long hours to keep up with and I was caught up in bartending. But the time we spend having sex and getting to know one another was amazing. Did I miss him when we weren't together? More than I wanted to admit. Was I still scared? Yep. Did I stop it? Noooo.
Smack!
"Bar tending?!-"
Mom hated the bar tending, I shouldn't have dared to utter my shameful profession. Internally, I cursed my slip up. Get it together Jae! This is mother dearest you're talking to, not your friend, dumbass!
"Don't mention it! Headache! I have a headache."
"Mom," I grabbed her mid rant and crushed her to me in a tight hug to distract her. Her smaller, rounder frame fit right up against me and she relaxed immeadiately, pressing her face against my chest.
She was worried and I knew that my unapproved life decisions stressed her out. But she also let it known that the only reason she nagged was because she loved me.
"Have you been eating well?" She finally asked, refusing to let me go and I caught sight of dad, sipping on a beer, watching us carefully from the living room.
"Yes, I've been eating well. I'm a grown up, mom," I smiled, kissing her cheek. She stepped back her hooded eyes glaring for a second.
Then she smacked me again.
"What was that for?!" I squealed chidishly. I should call childline, dang.
"You're speaking Korean with an American accent! Gosh, you make me so mad!"
Then she turned and stomped away towards the kitchen, leaving me standing there in the corridor, holding back my laughter. She was so dramatic when she wanted to be. Dad always told me I got most of my sass from her and it was so very true.
"I made you dinner." Mom called out from in front of the kitchen door and I grinned. Of course she'd cook for me, she couldn't resist, no matter how frustrated I made her. My mom would never let her poor boy go hungry.
"I love you!" I yelled at her, curling my hands into a heart over my chest and thrusting it at her. I caught the smile she tried to hide and grinned wider.
She huffed with a shake or her head, her short, black bob of hair shaking around her ears. I took that as my cue to join my dad in the sitting room. I patted him on the shoulder as I walked past, falling into one of the floral covered, severely outdated couches across from him. "Hey dad, how've you been?"
He looked me up and down with a shake of his head. It was always difficult to figure out how he was feeling. He always had that stern poker face on that his emotions rarely cracked through - that is when he wasn't swooning after his wife like a lovesick fool.
When I was younger, I used to be intimidated by him, but I quickly learned that there was a soft teddy bear beneath that hard exterior. My dad let me get away with murder, it was my mom to look out for. He let me get away with being a brat most of the time, so long as I never used 'shameful language' or directed any rudeness at mom. Not that I ever did. I was a golden brat.
"I'm fine. You've got bags under your eyes, you should listen to your mother about that job. Night shifts aren't doing you any good," he finally muttered, motioning me to pick up one of the untouched beers on the table. I grabbed it, shrugging one shoulder.
"I'm alright, I promise. I love my job."
He stared at me for a second, his eyes dimming ever so slightly. The sigh he let out signalled that whatever he planned on saying next was not going to be good. I fought the urge to cover my ears like a child, wanting to protect my happy mood. Was he planning on giving me another lecture about giving collage a shot? Tell me to quit my job at the bar again? Was he sick? Mom?
I felt my heartbeat speed up as I worked myself into nervousness. Dad frowned, holding out a hand as if to calm me. "I haven't even said anything yet, boy. Let's have dinner and talk after with your mother."
I nodded jerkily, my mind running a million miles a minute. Luckily, mom shouted my name just in time. "Jaemin! Dinner!"
Dinner was... surprisingly pleasant. I found myself relaxing, my earlier concerns fading slowly away as my mom talked my ear off about church gossip and whatever else she'd heard going around the community. I nodded along, snickering at times when her reports got juicy. Of course my dad scolded her for running her mouth but she only giggled with me some more at the expense of her poor neighbours.
We ate steaming bowls of rice, paired with grilled pork, kimchi and perfectly seasoned vegetables. I had to admit that I was good, but not as good as my mother when it came to creating dishes from our homeland. When I came to see her and she cooked for me, every meal felt like a special Chuseok dinner. I wanted to ask her for more tips and recipies.
Now that Ezra was coming into my life, I wanted to cook for him, impress him with my culture through his stomach. Wouldn't that be... what the fuck? My spoon froze inches from my mouth and I fought the sudden urge I had to smack myself.
Cooking for him? Seriously Jae? I was his affair, not his husband, rushing around his kitchen naked beneath an apron while I cooked him hearty meals, ready for his return from work. I had to stop associating Ezra with such... disgustingly domestic things. I also needed to get rid of the butterflies I felt in my stomach at the thought of feeding him. That's not my job, that's his wife's job.
I cleared my throat, as if doing so would clear my obviously scrambled mind. Then I continued eating as though nothing happened. Dinner wrapped up nicely and I quickly hopped up to put the dishes in the sink. When mom cooked, it was my job to wash up and dad's job to put the dishes away. That had been our routine since I was young enough to hold a plate without dropping it. They got me started on the chores and giving me responsibilities from young.
However, mom stopped me this time, motioning me back to my seat. Oh god, here we go. I tensed, raising an eyebrow in question. "What have I done now?"
She shook her head, biting her lip in worry. Then, she shot me a sympathetic look before turning to dad. She nudged him, as though encouraging him to tell me what was going on. Dad cleared his throat, pushing his glasses up on his face. "Jaemin, me and your mother have decided to move back to Korea."
My mouth dropped open in horror and I stared at them both with eyes as wide as saucers. Surely I didn't hear that right. They couldn't be serious right now. No way...
"What?"
Mom shuffled her chair closer and pressed a hand over my arm, swallowing hard. "We've decided to go back, to be with your grandparents as they get older. Our time here... it's been good but your father and I are missing home and-"
"It's been twenty years," I whispered in disbelief, turning to dad. "I thought you liked it here."
"We do," he nodded, sighed and rubbed at his stubbled jaw. "But it's time to go back. You..." he trailed off and looked away uncomfortably.
My heart dropped and this uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. "Its my fault isn't it? It's because I didn't go to college."
"No," mom shook her head, but I could tell she was only trying to lessen the blow. "We would've gone back eventually, but now it's just a little sooner-"
"Because I didn't go to college..." I was lost for words, hurt squeezing my throat shut tight. Did going to school really mean that much to them? Did my happiness mean so little in comparison?
"We moved here for you to study well and get a good job. You did neither. As much as we don't like it, we can't change your mind. We have forgiven it. But now, there is nothing here for us, Jaemin. We want to go back to Korea to be with the rest of the family. It's up to you to decide whether you come with us or not," Dad told me, his voice firm, but his eyes told me that he was feeling as much nerves as my mother who's fingers shook around my arm.
I just stared at them, my eyes filling with tears as the severity of what they were telling me came crashing down around me. They were moving back to Korea, the country I was born in, yet knew so little about. They were going to be with family members I hadn't met since I was in diapers. They were making me choose between them, and my life here.
"Please rethink it," I finally whispered and the words 'I'll go to college and get a degree and find a professional career' danced on the tip of my tongue. "My home is here, I grew up here, I don't want to go back. Please."
Mom sighed softly, tears in her own dark brown eyes as she ran her fingers tenderly across my cheek. "We know, we can't force you to come with us if you truly want to stay here."
"Don't leave me," I begged, my tears spilling over. It has always been the three of us. If they left, I'd have no family in the states. I'd be alone. "Stay. Do you need more money? Is that it? I can pick up more hours and-"
"No," my dad shut me down. "That's not it, Jaemin. We just want to settle down back at home with the rest of the family and-"
"I am your family!" I yelled, wrenching myself away from mom and standing. "Do you know how unfair this is?! I didn't ask for you to bring me here! I didn't ask for any of it! You brought me here and now you're just going to leave me?!"
"Jaemin-"
"No," I wiped furiously at my tears. "Go if you want, I don't care." The lie left my lips in a venomous snarl. I spun and stomped out of the kitchen, towards the front door. After aggressively tugging on my coat and shoes, I opened the front door and left, swinging it shut behind me.
Yanking my hood up to hide the tears on my face, I pulled out my phone and called the first person who came to mind. I didn't even think as I dialed Ezra and pressed the phone to my ear, desperate to hear his soothing voice.
I weaved around people on the street, heading for home in the dark, sniffling to try and hold in the sobs getting lodged in my throat. The moment I heard the line on the other end of the phone pick up, I let out a shaky breath of relief. "Ezra, I need you," I whispered brokenly.
There was a pause before a very high, very pissed off voice answered my desperate plea. That voice most definately did not belong to Ezra. "Who the fuck is this?" The feminine screech made my blood run cold and I froze.
Oh god. Please, no.
"Answer me! You know what, forget it, you little slut. This is my husband's number and I don't know what the hell is going on but you better not call again or I'll make you fucking regret it!" The raging woman, obviously Ezra's wife, continued to yell at me down the phone and I could only listen with shaking fingers as shock overwhelmed me.
"A man at that! I knew he was nasty, but this?! I can't believe it! Don't you ever call him again. Stay the fuck away, he has a kid you home wrecker!" She screeched. "Go to hell!"
Then the line went dead. I dropped my hand and felt bile rise up my throat as nausea slammed into my senses. I bent over and puked right there on the side walk. Everything I'd eaten came up in one big rush and I choked, tears in my eyes, acid burning my nose and throat as I cried.
People rushed to get away from me and even the embarrassment of their voiced complaints and their groans of disgust didn't hurt worse than hearing the reality of what I'd done.
Ezra had a child. I was having an affair with a married man who had a child. The word 'home wrecker' danced around my head again and I gagged. I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have ever gotten myself involved.
I stumbled away from the puddle of vomit, rushing to get home as quickly as possible so that I could drown myself in my sorrows with some privacy.
As I walked, I promised myself that I would never speak to Ezra again. I had to pretend as though he didn't exist. It was for the best. No matter how much it hurt, it had to be done. I couldn't do this with him, not anymore. It was wrong, it didn't matter if I'd already caught feelings. It wasn't worth a child's happiness. No way.
Then it dawned on me. With my parents moving away and then cutting things off with Ezra, I'd be more alone then ever. The thought made me feel hollow inside and I shook my head to push away those haunting feelings.
Instead of going home, I changed directions and headed straight for the club. I couldn't deal with any of this right now. It was time to get smashed. I could deal with it all tomorrow. Tonight, I gave life a big 'FUCK YOU'.
EZRA ▪︎ POV
"Give me my phone!"
I snatched the device out of Renee's hands and glared fiercely. She had some fucking nerve taking it from where I'd left it on the kitchen counter after leaving for the bathroom.
When I looked down at the screen, I saw Jae's name and the little red phone indicating the end of a call. My heart stuttered in my chest and I looked back up at my devious wife who was watching me with a smirk.
"Your boy toy called," she snarked, resting her hands on her hips. "Who is he? You know what, that skank's name doesn't matter. You're into men?! Seriously Ezra."
My stomach fell. "You answered the phone," I accused, anger making me clench my fists to stop myself from lashing out. What did she say to him? Did she run him off? "You had no fucking right."
"Save it! You're a dirty bastard Ezra! When will this stop?!" She threw her hands up, her voice now taking on a fake, vulnerable tone. I didn't even take any notice.
All I could think about was Jae. God, I fucked up. I shouldn't have just left my phone like that. It was stupid on my part and now he paid the price. I remembered how apprehensive he had been about Renee when we were together. He was probably rethinking our relationship right now, probably promising to stay away. Knowing Renee she probably had something shitty to say and that just made my blood boil further.
I walked away from her but she followed me down the hall, her heels stomping against the wooden floors. I quickly dialed Jae back and the phone rang but there was no answer. Fuck.
"When will this stop Ezra! Why can't you be faithful?! You're my husband you cheating asshole!" Renee yelled at my back and I spun around.
"IT STOPS NOW!" I spun around, stepping right up into her face and her blue eyes widened in shock as she stared up at my towering form. "I'm filing for divorce! I can't deal with this shit anymore!"
"What?! You can't! You belong to me Ezra! You promised our parents and there's no way they'll let you divorce me," Renee scoffed confidently and it set me off.
"YOUR PARENTS PAID YOU TO DATE ME SO THAT THEY COULD CASH IN ON MY COMPANY AFTER I HAD YOUR FUCKING KID!" My face was red as I bellowed at her. "DON'T PRETEND THAT YOU LOVE ME OR THAT YOU EVER LOVED ME! YOU'RE IN IT FOR THE MONEY RENEE, NOT THIS SHIT SHOW OF A MARRIAGE! I WANT A DIVORCE! FUCK YOU!"
Her face turned pink and her eyes narrowed to slits. "Do it. I dare you. You'll never see Ollie again."
I turned and threw my fist at the wall, panting as my overwhelming emotions bubbled up and burst out of me. Pain shot through my wrist and up my arm and plaster splintered around my fingers. Ollie's crying started up in the living room only seconds later but neither Renee or I moved away from each other.
"I'll fight you in court," I growled menacingly. "You won't be able to keep him from me, you fucking witch." What was she even getting out of this?! I didn't understand how one person could be so evil. I was exasperated with her, with this fucking life, with everything!
"Wanna bet?" She smiled a sinister smirk, lifting her shirt and my mind blanked at the sight of blue and purple bruises marring her pale, flat stomach. She looked between my raging body, the wall, and then down at her stomach. "Ezra! I can't believe y-you'd hit me!" She gasped with a pain filled sob, bending over and clutching her middle.
I stumbled away from her, my eyes wide. She couldn't be serious right now! How did she even get those bruises?! What the hell was she thinking! "Don't," I shook my head, panic rising up inside me, making my throat constrict.
Renee stood up straight, smiling innocently. "Cheating," she held up one slender finger. "Domestic violence," she held up another. "Long, irregular working hours," another finger went up. "Honey, you don't stand a chance. Try me."
I wanted to scream and tug my hair out in clumps. Instead, I closed my eyes and slid down the wall until I was sitting with my head in my hands, tears in my eyes. "That's my baby. That's my fucking son," I whispered.
I felt her move closer until she was kneeling in front of me. "I know, honey. And you can have him. But we're not getting a divorce. You're going to stop cheating and you're going to start playing the family man you were meant to be. It's that simple Ezra. I might even reconsider telling your mom about..." she clicked her tongue and wrinkled her nose as though she smelt something vile. "Your thing for men."
"Fuck you." I rasped hoarsely.
"No, fuck you," she smiled back, before leaning in and pressing a kiss to my lips. It was only a second long and she jerked back before I had time to shove her. "Dinner will be ready soon. Let's forget this ever happened, yes?"
Then Renee stood up and walked away. She fucking walked away. I ran my hand through my hair, tugging until the stinging physical pain took away from the heavy ache in my heart.
I looked up, taking deep breaths to try and get myself together although I knew it would be no hope.
What the hell am I going to do now?
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