come outside
"i can't believe we are actually going to do it," Nikki smiled jumping around my lounge area, she was excited, however i think other than her we all had our worries. what if it went wrong?
there were so many elements that could fail yet Nikki saw right through them, it was love. "three more days till she's back with me," she continued making us
all smile at her. it was nice to see her happy like this again. it felt like old times.
"Jo is coming to pick me up soon, she said she has some plans for me," Tessa said with a bright smile, she had such joy on her face. "that's a coincidence, as does Enzo," Manon smiled shyly. the two looked completely in love, without stress, i could only dream. "i must be getting off too, i have to go get my dress, i need to look perfect for her," Nikki said standing with the other girls. i wished them well and then settle back into my home, alone.
i was used to being alone, yet not after spending time with my friends it did not seem the same. i was in my thoughts.
i did not feel the same as i had for this past year. i heard to small knock on my door, "a letter, Madame," one of the staff members smiled handing me a small letter. i opened it.
'come outside
TL x '
it couldn't be. how did he know where i was? this must just have been a prank from my friends. i took a breath and got up. it was just a prank, i repeated to myself however deep down i wished the opposite. i opened the door slowly and there he was, holding a bouquet of roses.
i was paralysed, i wouldn't move.
the only thing that moved where my eyes observing the boy. his hair seemed to be tidier, his eyes brighter, his face more matured. he looked wonderful. not that he ever didn't.
"Blair," he whispered walking to me. this was when my body suddenly regained movement and i leapt into the boys arms and held him tightly. "Teddy," i whispered while holding him close.
i could hear his small chuckle to my sudden reaction. "how is it that you have got even cuter?" he smiled softly running a hand down my hair. i blushed.
"please, come in," i said softly bringing the boy into my home. i took him to the lounge and sat. "how did you find me?" i questioned, he smiled, "how do you think?" his voice in a low chuckle, the girls. i rolled my eyes making his smile grow even wider. "oh Teddy, it's great to see you," i twiddled my thumbs trying to avoid his gaze that i had previously found myself lost in. we were at opposite ends of the long sofa which only added to the tension. "i have missed you Blair," he said moving closer to me and taking my hand into his. i felt shivers move down my back. i had missed his touch.
"i have missed you too Teddy," i said holding his hand tighter.
our gaze stopped in each others for a while. i admired his face, he really did look like a gift from the gods.
"how was Italy?" he said breaking the daze we were both trapped in.
"beautiful Teddy, you would have loved it, i just know you would have found yourself lost in its beauty," i recalled while thinking of the tranquility of my travels.
"if only i could have experienced it with you," he signed, i shook my head.
"Teddy we both know we had to take our own priorities first, you couldn't have abandoned everything. it would have been silly," i said letting go of his soft hand. "i would have let it all go for you, everything, but you didn't even consider to do the same for me," he frowned looking to the floor but my mood suddenly changed. "no Theodore! not at all! i wanted you to live the life you deserved, not something where you would waste your potential! you're worth so much more than that. please can we stop ruining this moment," i said but he only shook his head. "it seems you did just well, your art is internationally recognised Blair, as for your compositions, do not act like we could not have excelled together," he seemed sad, but i knew i did what was best. "Teddy, i loved you, i loved you so much that i knew that leaving you was best, i loved you so much that i broke my own heart so you could get what you deserved in life, success," i said placing my hand on his cheek.
"loved, you loved me, have you fallen for another?" he said, his eyes glazed over.
"no, i have been alone, i spent my days talking to myself or sat in complete silence. i met many people yet non of them compared to my friends, non of them compared to you," i sighed.
"do you still love me?" he said. i took a breath. "oh Teddy, how could i possibly answer that? we both may have changed in the past year, for all i know you may be a completely different man," i said running my thumb across his cheek bone. it was a lie. i still loved him, which every inch of my living being.
"i still love you Blair, i always will," he smiled weakly.
"where are you staying Teddy?" i questioned the boy, "a hotel near by," he replied. i couldn't have that.
"please, stay here, it's the least i can do.
you brought me into your home so i should repay the act," i smiled. his face glowed, "you don't have to Blair," he smiled but i shook my head, "oh but i must, plus it will be nice to have some company," i said. he stood from his seat.
"i'll go collect my things," he said. i nodded. "i'll get the maids to ready a room," i smiled back to the boy.
-
it had been almost an hour since Teddy had returned. i took him to his room and left him to unpack his things.
this was when i heard another knock at the door, i made my way over and was shell shocked. "Charles?" i said almost losing my breath. Charles was a friend of mine and the girls back in England, well more than a friend, almost like a big brother. he was in the same year group as Tessa's older brother and the two boys were very protective over the group. the girls always said that Charles had a crush on me and that we would probably end up together one day, well, until they met Teddy. i hadn't seen Charles since i first left England all that time ago.
"Blair," he smiled pulling me into a hug.
"why are you here?" i said excitedly after realising how much i'd missed my dear friend, "Phillip and i came to Paris to see you all, it's been so long since i've seen my girls," he smiled, Phillip is Tessa's older brother, the boys were only three years older than us yet always acted as if they were much older.
"Blair? where are you?" Teddy shouted from inside of the house.
"the door Teddy," i replied. Charles looked extremely confused. "Teddy?" he said with his face tilted. Teddy's smile instantly dropped when he saw another guy at the door. "who's this?" he asked politely. "this is Charles, my friend from back home, Tessa's big brother and him were our best friends back in England. they're here together," i said, Teddy nodded and stuck his hand out to the boy. i saw the two embarrassingly try show strength in the handshake which made me internally cringe. "please, come in," i smiled to Charles taking him into the home.
"so, how do you know Blair?" Charles asked Teddy, "well she stayed at my home back in Concord with myself and my grandfather," Teddy smiled.
"ah so you are the Laurie boy i've been told about," he nodded. Teddy gulped.
"Charles you're scaring the poor boy," i pushed his side. "hey, i've just heard a lot," Charles chuckled. i moved closer to Teddy to ensure he felt comfortable, i saw Charles' eyes shift. i rested my head on Teddy's shoulder for the first time in over a year. i felt him tense but he suddenly relaxed. "so are you two?" Charles said pointing to us but i shook my head,
"no," i said quietly, "that doesn't mean you can just take her away from me bud," Laurie smiled, i think he tried to play it off as a joke however i knew it was more.
"hey, i think i should be saying the same," Charles laughed.
we all caught up awkwardly in the lounge of my home. "are you free tomorrow Blair? i think it would be nice to spend some time together," Charles smiled,
"i was just about to ask the same question," Laurie smiled. "i- um- i don't know, with the wedding and all, i'm not to sure," i smiled to the two of them.
"well, it's time i'd best be getting back to the hotel. do you need a ride Theodore?" Charles said, i was confused as to why he called him Theodore after referring to him as Laurie previously. "he's actually staying here with me," i smiled walking the boy to the door. Charles paused for a moment before speaking.
"i hope to see you soon," he smiled,
"as do i," i replied hugging him tightly and closing the door after. Teddy looked at me with raised eyebrows. "he seemed to like you," he smiled, "oh shut up," i smiled pushing the boys side.
Teddy and i sat by the fire as he read me some poetry he had written. he was
a beautiful writer, in my opinion i think he should go and put his work out there but he was much to humble to agree.
"one more Teddy, please," i begged. he blushed. "i guess i can give you just one more," he smiled opening the book to a page near the start.
'as each rose petal takes time to fall,
i see that it's now time to recall,
the girl in the blue dress.
the feelings we never got time to proclaim,
the thought of her next taking my last name,
will forever be there because of the girl in the blue dress.
i wonder through the halls waiting to hear her return,
i will now always yearn for the girl in the blue dress.
i stand upon our balcony,
without her sweet love i only feel agony,
and it's all due to my loss of the girl in the blue dress.
one day i will have her again,
but for now my feelings will only be known by pen,
i only wish for the girl in the blue dress.
i look upon the stars at night,
yet nothing could ever compare to her light,
i will forever wish i had the chance to turn that blue dress white'
"it's beautiful Teddy," i smiled placing my hand on his shoulder. "you're beautiful," he whispered while placing his book beside him. "i've missed you Teddy," i whispered, "i've missed you more than you'll ever know bumble bee," he pulled me closer to him and held me tightly.
"i think it's time we head off to bed," he said while tracing patterns on my hand, i nodded in agreement. before i knew it the boy had lifted me into his arms and was running up the stairs. i giggled and tried to squirm my way out however failed miserably.
"your home is beautiful bumble bee," he said throwing me into my bed. i opened my arms for him to follow. i don't know why. i didn't want to fall for him again, however i couldn't help myself. i needed him with me. he jumped onto the bed and pulled me into his arms. the boy held tightly and rolled side to side.
"being with you again has made me feel happier than ever before," he smiled.
"Teddy, can you stay with me?" i whispered. he nodded. "it's all i've been dreaming of for a year," he replied softly.
____________________________
Authors note
for any of you that have read my other book, Truest Loves, based upon the netflix movie The King, you will recognise that poems theme, i thought i'd just add a little easter egg in there!