I spent a lot of time on Sunday torturing myself by going online and looking at pictures from Little Mix's performance at G-A-Y, scrolling through Instagram, reading about how amazing it had been, how great the girls had been...
By the time I managed to get to sleep that night, I was in a very strange mood, part of me was still depressed about the failure that had been my Saturday night, but part of me was almost sick with excitement about Little Mix the next day.
I was amazed at how quickly the day passed on Monday. I was there before eight in the morning, joining a line of people who had either just got there like me, or camped out all night.
I got talking to a group of Mixers and it seemed like only minutes later we were all stood squashed together, watching people set up speakers, cheering when Little Mix's album started blasting out of it, unashamedly singing as loud as we could, hoping that if they were there, they could hear us...
I was halfway back in the line of excited, giddy people, so it was the perfect view across the shopping centre. A scream went up that built and built in volume when Little Mix emerged, waving around at us all.
People started crying; some were shaking, repeating over and over how sick they felt, and how beautiful the girls looked.
I don't think I took my eyes off Perrie the whole time I was stood there, moving with the line, just watching the four of them get closer and closer, how they'd held people's hands and laughed with them, hugged those stood sobbing in front of them.
When I was finally next in line, the album sleeve was shaking rapidly in my hand and I couldn't breathe properly. Obviously having met them before made absolutely no difference to my nerves.
I was ushered forwards, the girls still waving away the previous person. When the girls turned and saw me, Perrie stood up, her smile growing and opened her arms. "Jakob! It's so good to see you babe!"
Oh my god, she gives the best hugs ever. She squeezes so tight like she really means it. I wish I could stand hugging her for hours...
"How are you babe?" Jade smiled.
"Really good, amazing. You?"
"Same." She giggled.
"I've been worried about you though." Perrie then spoke again.
"Really? Why?"
"You never replied to my message on Saturday night! I didn't know if you'd made it home." She said but she was grinning. "How did you like the show?"
Perrie started frowning and I knew my expression gave me away. I really didn't want to have to tell her, but...
"Well to tell you the truth – I didn't see the show." I started speaking in a rush. "It wasn't my fault though, the bouncer on the door, he was such a – well he didn't let us in, me and Lauren, he said we were drunk, honestly we hadn't had a thing to drink-"
"Its okay babe, slow down." Perrie said. She gently took the album sleeve and squeezed my hand.
"He just wouldn't let you in?! Even though you were on the list?!" I overheard Jesy. Perrie must have spoken to them about me being on the guest list.
I nodded. "I don't know what his problem was, we were not drunk."
"I'll be having some words I think." Leigh-Anne sighed in frustration.
"No, don't worry-"
"It's okay, honestly. But I'm not letting it go." Leigh said again.
"If I put someone's name on the guest list, I expect them to get let in the bloody place!" Perrie smiled, and I returned it. She gave my hand another squeeze before letting go and raising her pen.
"Girls." A man leaned across. "We need to speed things up-"
"Don't panic mate, everyone'll get seen. We're just talking to someone." Jade said politely. She looked up at me and rolled her eyes, making me laugh.
"So any new tattoos?" I heard Perrie's voice again.
"Not yet, sorry."
"Awh shame! I love your music-y one. What about the lyrics you promised to show us." She winked cheekily and I felt myself go red.
"Perrie... I didn't promise." I laughed. "It's rubbish! Seriously."
"I don't believe you!" She sang. "Honestly babe, if their half as good as the beats you drop..."
"Oh my god, I never said – well I did, but I wanted to tell you – I can't believe you came that night, thank you so much!"
"Awh, it was my pleasure. You were incredible! Awh look at you, how can someone so shy look so confident on those decks." She laughed. "You'll have to let us know when you do another!"
Jesy, Jade and Leigh were staring with confusion. But I just shook my head shyly. The girls received another urgent notice, leaving Jesy now being the one to roll her eyes.
"C'mere babe, you get a picture with us like last time." Perrie stretched over the table, yanking me towards her and putting her arm around me.
"Smile!" Leigh said.
The flash went off, but instead of pulling away, Perrie brought her other arm up and hugged me tightly again. "I wish we could talk longer." She whispered in my ear. Her smell, the warmth of her breath on my face sent all sorts of tingles and shudders through my body. "It was so great to see you, don't be a stranger yeah?"
"Of course. Thanks for- everything."
"Awh babe. And don't worry, I'm gonna sort that arrogant tosser bouncer. I'm sorry you missed out because of them." Again, she lowered her voice and whispered "Don't worry, the tours gonna be amazing."
We broke apart and I was just staring at her, my mouth open. Perrie giggled and gave my hand one final squeeze. "I'll see you soon babe, take care."
Jesy, Leigh and Jade then said their goodbyes. I couldn't speak at all. Automatically I moved away, following the urgent gestures of the security to go down the stairs.
One of the girls I had been talking to that day, Amber I think her name was, ran to me. Her face streaked with happy tears. She started jumping up and down in front of me. "Oh my god, oh my god! Aren't they amazing?! They're so amazing! Aaaarghh!"
We sort of freaked out for a few minutes, then a few girls from earlier joined us and Amber said. "Shall we all go for a drink somewhere? Nobody has to go home yet do they?"
**
We ended up finding a random pub and staying in there for a couple of hours, about ten of us. I didn't say much or talk to anyone really apart from Amber, just lost in my own little world of Perrie. In my head, I was still hugging her.
Slowly but surely people started to disappear, people getting picked up by their parents or leaving because they had college the next morning. Myself, Amber and two other girls were the last to leave. We walked up the road together and Amber, reading off her phone announced. "Little Mix are still meeting people! My god, their gonna have no hands left at this rate."
We reached the main road and had to go our separate ways; I still had a bit of a walk to get to the bus stop that would take me home, and it had just started to rain.
"It was good to meet you Jakob, hope we'll catch up again sometime soon!"
"Yeah, definitely, you too!"
"Yeah, well I've got your Instagram now anyway. Hope you get home alright."
"You too, take care."
In truth, I was a little bit relieved to get away from her. She was nice, just a bit loud. Ironic really, Lauren King was my best friend. I put the hood of my jacket up as the rain got a bit heavier, and extracted my phone, turning it on.
I had turned it on and off all day trying to save the battery, but it only had 9% of life left. A few messages came through, and I managed to read about six words of a text from my dad when my phone cut out altogether. "Shit." I whispered.
By the time I got to the bus stop, I was soaking. There seemed to be some sort of storm kicking off, and the wind was crazy. I sat down in the shelter, but it didn't help any; the wind was sending the rain in all directions, mainly straight at me. I might as well have been stood in a pond for all the good the shelter was doing.
Not even ten minutes later, a man in a huge raincoat walking a big Dalmatian walked past, stopped when he saw me. "You waiting for a bus mate?"
I raised my eyebrows, the urge to be sarcastic fighting to get out of me, but I just muttered. "Yes."
"You'll be waiting a while. They've stopped running for the night. Last one was about ten, fifteen minutes ago."
"You're joking..." I stood up, turning to the schedule behind my head and groaned. He was right.
"Sorry mate." He smiled sympathetically and walked on.
Fantastic. Just brilliant. I was soaking wet, my phone was dead and the only money I had left on me was the bus fare home. By the looks of it, I was in for a long walk. Well, either way I was going to look like I had fancied a swim by the time I got home with the rain still blowing right at me. I checked my jacket was fastened properly, not wanting to get my new album wet, which was sitting in my inside pocket, I shoved my hands in my jeans pockets and set off.
As soon as I stepped out from under that 'shelter', it seemed, the rain was joined by some very heavy hailstone. How delightful.
**
I had been walking for about twenty minutes, when directly behind me there was a loud beep. I jumped out of my own skin, almost tripping over my own feet. The rain and hail was so loud, I hadn't even heard the car approaching.
The car slowed down alongside me and for a few seconds, I panicked. Then the back window came down, and a familiar face peered out. I stopped walking and just stared.
"Jakob?!"
"Oh my god, Perrie!"
"Hey! What're you doing out here by yourself?"
"I'm going home."
"In this? Walking? On your own? At this time? In the dark?"
Wow, how many questions was that? "Erm yes?"
"Where d'you live?"
"Erm... right across the city from here actually... but I missed the last bus back." I laughed nervously, very painfully aware of how I must look right now; like a sewer rat probably.
"And you're walking home?!" Perrie said.
"Well yeah,-"
"Quick, get in!" Perrie threw open the door and quickly slid across the back seat, avoiding the rain.
"Y- Wh.... eh?!" I stammered.
"Come on, get in! You're getting soaked babe. Come on, you can stay with me tonight, and I'll take you home tomorrow."
Speech utterly failed me. I just stood frozen. The wind had blown my hood off a long time ago and I just stood there, frozen, letting the hail bounce off my head.
"Jakob, get in."
"I- I can't Perrie, that's really nice of you but-"
"Don't say but, babe I'm not letting you go home by yourself at this time, in this weather. Please. Get in the car? I'm freezing and I'm getting wet!"
Still, I didn't move. It was like I was just glued to the spot with the enormity of what she was saying. There was a sudden flash of lightning, immediately followed by a deep rumble of thunder, and both me and Perrie jumped hard.
"Jakob, please come on."
"Fuck it." I muttered to myself and I dived into the car, slamming the door. The driver set off again.
"Babe, you're freezing." Perrie said putting one of her hands on one of my arms, rubbing it up and down rapidly. "You were actually going to walk home in all that..."
I had no idea what to say. This was star struck on another. Bloody. Level!!!
"Turn the heat up please Matt." Perrie said to the driver.
"Perrie, you really don't have to do this." I stammered. "I c- can walk, honestly I'll be home in no time. It's not a problem-"
"It is to me." She said, scowling a little, pouting at the same time. She looked completely adorable. "Come on babe, don't be shy! Where's that cheeky sarcastic funny guy I speak to on Instagram got to?"
"He – He's a bit different in the flesh." I shivered with a shy smile. Perrie smiled back and gave me a squeeze.
She kept her arms around me for the rest of the ride.