The dwarves all shoved their way into the house and began to grab whatever food they could get their hands on. (Y/n) was forced to deal with the dwarves as Bilbo got himself more dressed. When he came back out, he saw the dwarves grabbing all their food. He went to stand next to his confused sister.
"Uh- excuse me, that's our chicken- um, if-if you don't- that's my wine! Excuse me!" Bilbo exclaimed as a dwarf walked by. He turned around and the hobbits saw he had an axe lodged in his head. He began speaking in Dwarvish, and (Y/n) and Bilbo could not understand what he was saying.
"He's got an injury" said a dwarf behind them.
"You mean the axe in his head?" (Y/n) asked sarcastically.
"Dead? No, only between his ears. His legs work fine" said the dwarf, holding up a listening trumpet.
Bilbo was furiously trying to get a bit of control back and stood in the hallway as the dwarves passed him with loads of food in their hands.
"Put that back! Put that back! Not the jam, please! Excuse me!" he stated.
A large ginger dwarf walked by them with three blocks of cheese.
"It's a tad excessive, isn't it?" Bilbo said.
"Have you got a cheese knife?" (Y/n) asked.
"'Cheese knife'? He eats it by the block" said a dwarf with a strange hat, who was carrying a plate of meat. (Y/n) widened her eyes at this, and Bilbo grimaced.
"No, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, so is that. Take it back please. Take it back. It's an antique! Not for sitting on! That is a book, not a coaster! Put that map down! Thank you!"
Bilbo rushed around trying to stop the dwarves from messing with the order in his house. (Y/n) made her way to the table, where some dwarves and Gandalf were setting it. A dwarf came up behind Gandalf with a tray of tea and spoke.
"Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf. May I tempt you with a cup of chamomile?"
"Oh, no, thank you Dori. A little red wine for me, I think" Gandalf responded. He looked to (Y/n) who was standing by the table, looking at all the dwarves in her house.
"My dear (Y/n), how are you this fine evening?" he asked her with a warm smile.
"I-I, uh, I'm a little blindsided but good. I was just wondering, um, what were all the dwarves names?" (Y/n) answered, looking up at Gandalf.
"Well, you have Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori, and Ori!"
"Oh, thank you Gandalf" (Y/n) said.
"Not my prize winners, thank you!" Bilbo said as he snatched a bowl of tomatoes from a dwarf. Another dwarf came up to Gandalf, and began speaking in Dwarvish. (Y/n) couldn't understand what he was saying, but Gandalf seemed to know.
"Yes, you're quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short" Gandalf said.
"He is late is all" said Dwalin, leaning against the wall, "He travelled north to a meeting of our kin. He will come"
"Sorry, who will come?" (Y/n) asked.
"You will see, soon enough" Gandalf replied.
"Mr. Gandalf, a little glass of red wine, as requested. It's got a fruity bouquet" said Dori, handing Gandalf a tiny glass. He took it and said "ah, cheers" before downing it in one small gulp.
As Bilbo was running around, (Y/n) called his name to get his attention.
"What? Do you have a solution to our problem because these dwarves are causing too much chaos in my home and-"
"Our home" (Y/n) interrupted "And no I don't. I just needed to tell you that we are expecting one more guest. I heard Gandalf and one of the dwarves talking about it"
"Another one!?" Bilbo exclaimed. By this time, all the dwarves were gathered around the table, which was full of food. The hobbits turned around to face the pantry and found it completely empty.
"I cannot handle any more dwarves," Bilbo sighed. (Y/n) patted him on the shoulder and went to watch over their guests.
Fili was walking on the table with hands full of ale, passing them to the others. Every dwarf took a cup and within moments it was silent as they all drank. They then began to let out enormous belches, which the others laughed at. (Y/n) let out a breathy laugh, and caught the attention of Kili. He stared at her for a moment, before she noticed him staring and looked at him. (Y/n) put her head down to hide the blush on her face and exited the room.
The dwarves finished eating and began wandering around the house. One dwarf held a crochet doily and was wiping his face with it. Bilbo rushed up behind and snatched it from the dwarfs hands.
"E-Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" Bilbo said.
"But it's full of holes" mentioned Bofur.
"It's, uh, it's supposed to look like that. It's crochet" (Y/n) stepped in.
"Oh, and a wonderful game it is, too. If you've got the balls for it" Bofur added as Bilbo walked away.
"Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!" Bilbo hissed to himself.
"Bilbo, calm down" (Y/n) said at her brother's side.
"I will not calm down, (Y/n)!" he snapped. (Y/n) sighed and watched as Gandalf walked into the room.
"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" asked Gandalf.
"What's the matter?!" Bilbo said.
"Oh no, here we go" (Y/n) breathed out, following Gandalf and Bilbo as they walked around the house.
"I'm surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?" Bilbo asked as he saw Bofur and Nori fight over sausages.
"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering... once you get used to them" Gandalf replied.
"I don't want to get used to them!" Bilbo snapped at the wizard. "Look at the state of my kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet! They-They've pillaged the pantry! I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done in the bathroom. They've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in my house!!"
"Bilbo. Breathe." (Y/n) said.
"'Scuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?" asked a young dwarf, Ori, coming up to stand next to Bilbo. (Y/n) was about to take the plate from him, but Fili came up and grabbed it.
"Here you go, Ori. Give it to me" Fili said. He then threw it to Kili, who threw the plate behind him into the kitchen. Another plate came hurtling toward him, but he caught it effortlessly and threw it into the kitchen as well, where another dwarf caught them both and put them in the sink. (Y/n) had to admit, she thought that Kili was very impressive as he grabbed and tossed the plates and bowls. He smirked at her and she realized she had been staring. She broke her gaze when Bilbo started shouting.
"Excuse me! That's our mother's westfarthing pottery! It's over 100 years old!"
Fili bounced one of their bowls on his elbows and some of the other dwarves began hitting the knives and forks together over the table. (Y/n) smiled and started laughing at the dwarves and covered her mouth with her hand to try and stop, but she was having too much fun. Bilbo noticed the dwarves playing with the knives and immediately tried to put a stop to it.
"Can-Can you not do that? You'll blunt them!" Bilbo remarked.
"Ooh, do you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives." Bofur said as they continued. Kili then began singing in a deep voice. The other soon joined in.
Blunt the knives, bend the forks
Smash the bottles and burn the corks,
Chip the glasses and crack the plates,
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Cut the cloth, tread on the fat,
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat,
Pour the milk on the pantry floor,
Splash the wine on every door
Dump the crock in a boiling bowl
Pound them up with a thumping pole,
When you're finished, if they are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
When they finished, Bilbo burst through the crown of laughing dwarves to find all his dishes neatly stacked on the table. (Y/n) couldn't contain her laughter anymore. She burst out laughing at Bilbo's face as he stood next to Fili and Ori. (Y/n) had to lean on the table so as to not collapse. Bilbo looked at her, and she shrugged her shoulders, still laughing. Kili couldn't help but listen to the melodious sound as he watched the smile on her face. The laughter was cut off by a loud pounding on the door. Everyone looked in the direction of the entrance.
"He is here," Gandalf said