hullo. school starts tomorrow, and i won't finish this chapter before then, so just know that somewhere in the middle of this chapter, school has started XD
have fun reading <3
♡
Zuko's breathing was erratic. It wasn't possible. There was no way. His mother couldn't be dead. She had to be alive.
She had just been talking to him the other day, about his C+ in art class. She was alive. She wasn't dead.
The blood seeping over his shaking hands wasn't his mother's. The warm, thick, red liquid that poured onto the floor in a steady flow did not belong to her.
He couldn't accept it. It was his own blood, it had to be. Or his fathers, he'd stabbed him after all. That was the answer. But his mom didn't move. Why wasn't she moving? Dad wasn't a threat, she didn't have to keep pretending.
"Zuko?"
Aang had ended up shaking him vigorously in the middle of class, instead of waiting until after class was finished. He figured Zuko would appreciate it.
"What..?" He rubbed his eyes, and then looked around the room.
Everyone was working on their clay projects, he even had a piece of clay sat in front of him. When had he fallen asleep?
"You sorta drifted off there," Aang said. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah... I'm just tired," Zuko said. "What are we doing?"
"Oh, uhm, we have to make a human," Aang said. "I'm making my dog, Appa, if he was human."
Zuko stared at the block of clay. He only knew two people in school. They were the most important and influential people in his life besides his uncle.
He started scultping, and he looked so concentrated, that Aang decided not to bother him again.
"Alright, class, the bell is going to ring in 10 minutes, I suggest you start cleaning up," The teacher said.
"What did you make?" Aang asked.
Zuko shielded his scultpure defensively, but after receiving stranger glances than usual from Haru and Ty-Lee, he removed his hand.
"It's just.. a random woman," Zuko lied.
Aang looked up and down at the clay, barely recognizable as a human, but it got the point across.
"It's nice," He smiled.
After the whole Suki thing, she had shown kindness to Zuko like Toph did. She said hello in the hallways, she smiled at him in class, and she even vouched for him to the group. But she would not be seperated from them like Toph or Aang. Zuko was okay with that. He associated her with her mother. The mother that touched him without his permission.
Aang didn't know any details of what happened inside Suki's house. Zuko had only told him vague details, that she would stroke his arm or ruffle his hair, or roughly run her acrylic nails along his scar mutiple times.
Aang didn't want to know any more, so he didn't press.
As the days passed, Sokka started to smile in Zuko's direction if he saw him. He took this with stride, waving at Katara, Sokka, and Suki any chance he got. Katara never waved back. but the others did, and Aang thought it was progress.
On friday, when Aang was talking with Katara, Sokka strolled into the conversation. He started with a sigh, and then began giving his whole life story.
"And... Well, I'd just like to say, Zuko is alright," He finished. "That is all."
Aang held his excitement, wanting badly to leave so he could tell Zuko and Toph. It was a break through, because if Sokka liked something or someone, Katara would force herself to also like that.
"The firenation took my mother," She said. "That's something I won't forget."
Sokka rolled his eyes. He, just like every other person in the school, had heard that line over a million times. Aang said his goodbyes and left for seventh period.
"Toph! Zuko! You're never going to guess what just happened!" Aang shouted as he rounded the corner into his class.
Both of his friends looked up from their mango plants. Toph spoke up, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong," Aang laughed. "Sokka just gave Zuko his approval!"
All three burst out in conversation, allowing Zuko to explain how he gained Sokka's trust while leaving out the more personal detaild Aang had heard before. Toph went into a tangent about how Katara would soon like him because her brother did, and Aang scribbled in the sticky note.
• sokka - friendy
• suki - friendly
• kat - ???
When it was time for class to start, Mali joined them near the planting station, and gave Zuko a small smile. He returned it, and Aang felt something click in his mind. It was a new emotion.
He didn't like Mali smiling at Zuko. She couldn't be friends with him. Aang wanted Zuko to like him more than her. He didn't smile at Aang afterwards. He wanted Mali to leave the class.
Aang hated this feeling. The feeling like Zuko should belong to him. He had a name for the emotion: jealousy.
And that was when he realized he might think of Zuko as more than just his close friend. Aang had a crush on him. But it wasn't like any other he'd had in middle school. Every boy he had a crush on was just cute. He saw a cute boy, he said he had a crush. But this was different.
Of course he thought Zuko was cute. He thought he was pretty hot, actually. Aang didn't just like him for looks, though. At first, he was just attracted to his personality. The way he talked, the way he moved, the way he thought. Aang tried to figure out his emotions and how he reacted to different things. He spent a lot of time thinking about Zuko.
"I think we'll be able to put these in bigger pots soon," Said their teacher, walking behind them.
"Hopefully," Mali said, and glanced to Zuko.
Aang looked at his own plant. It was growing fast, like the others. He thought about the mangoes that would grow from the tree. He hoped they would be sweet. Aang wanted sweet mangoes. He wanted mangoes that leaked fruit juice when you cut into them. He wanted mangoes so good that he had to put a net over the tree to stop raccoons from eating them.
He didn't know why he was thinking about these mangoes so much. He guessed he just really liked them.
♡
Zuko drove Aang and Toph home. Since he had uncovered his car, he had wanted to bring her for more rides. So, instead of walking, they would be driven from school everyday.
Aang loved that car still. Toph was always nervous when her feet weren't touching solid ground, so she liked it less. It smelled like patchouli and vanilla, just like always.
"Hey, do you guys wanna sleep over at my house tonight?" Aang asked, as they pulled into his driveway.
"Hell yeah!" Toph grinned. "I hope you don't mind sharing clothes."
"Yeah, it's fine," Aang said. He leaned to the front seat. "What about you?"
"I have to call my uncle first, but yes, I can," Zuko said. "Can I leave the car here?"
"Yep! My parents won't be home till Sunday," Aang jumped from the car.
It was decided that Zuko would sleep in Aang's bed, Toph would sleep on the pull out couch across the room, and Aang would sleep in a sleep bag on the floor next to the bed. Zuko called his uncle on the avocado green home phone that was attatched to the wall next to his bed.
They played stupid easy board games, they played long sessions of video games on the tv in Aang's room, drinking fanta and eating junk food.
It was cold that night. Aang placed his hands next to Zuko's rising body heat to warm them briefly before hiding under the sleeping bag covers again. Eventually he fell asleep.
It was the next morning that really upset Aang. Zuko was sitting on the edge of the bed, Aang's corded home phone up to his ear. His eyes looked dull.
After a minute, Aang watched as Zuko lowered the phone and hung up. His eyes stayed trained to the floor. Something was wrong. Aang could feel it.
"Are you okay?" Aang mumbled.
"I... I have to, I have..." Zuko rubbed his face in his hands before standing up. "Go, I have to go."
"When will I see you again?" Aang asked, and then repeated,"Are you okay?"
Zuko left without another word, even as Aang followed him to the front door. Even with the door closed in his face, he could hear the low rumble of the impala's engine staring, and then tires pulling away on a gravel driveway.
Toph woke up an hour later, but Aang did not explain what had happened. He just sat in the chair across from the bed, staring at the avocado colored phone and wondering what words had come from the other line.
At first, Aang reasoned that Zuko hadn't shown up to school because he was sick after gorging on all the unhealthy food on Saturday.
But after three days of absence, Aang had enough. He called Zuko's uncle seven times before he finally gave up. Toph had no idea what was happening.
Aang was worried sick. What if Zuko's uncle had told him they were moving away, and that's why Zuko wasn't showing up. He was gone, and Aang would never see him again.
That tore his heart apart. He couldn't think about that. He focused on less plausible explinations, that Zuko was sick, and somehow their phone had broken. He thought maybe Zuko left that morning because a pet died.
Nothing fit, though. Aang thought for sure he would go insane trying to find out what happened, and then an idea hit him. He could just go visit Zuko at his trailer.
♡
Aang's sneakers were planted in front of the trailer he had been had a few days before. He couldn't hear anything from inside, but all of the decorations from before were still there.
When he knocked, Zuko answered the door. Aang's heart fluttered, and he smiled. Zuko didn't smile.
In fact, he looked terrible. His eyes weren't sparkling anymore like usual. He looked tired, and he was wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt with a hole on the collarbone. He had dark circles under his eyes, and didn't look like he wanted Aang to be there.
"Are you okay? Me and Toph are worried about you," Aang said awkwardly. He didn't know what to say. "You've been gone."
"I know," Zuko said. "You shouldn't worry. I'm fine."
"Then why aren't you at school?" Aang stepped forward.
"Because... family issues," Zuko stepped back, carefully eyeing the looks of his neighbors. "Listen, I don't know why you're here, it's not like we're boyfriends or something. Just leave."
"What? Who said anything about that? I'm your friend, and I'm worried for you," Aang said loudly. "You should talk to me!"
Zuko glared at him, and Aang thought it was the most hateful look he'd ever seen. It was obvious he wasn't welcome there suddenly, and he wanted nothing more than to get out of the park.
"No, I'm not your friend," Zuko closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he wouldn't look up from the floor. "I'm sorry. I need some time."
"What happened?" Aang asked quietly.
"It's not you," He started, and then sighed. "You know the line. It's me."
And then he closed the door, leaving Aang alone on the doorstep. There was a large hole in his chest. It felt like someone had grabbed his heart and crushed in their palms. It hurt so much, probably from panic, that he squatted in front of the trailer for a moment. Aang didn't care if anyone saw him. He wanted Zuko to see him. He wanted him to open the door. He wanted Zuko to tell him they were friends still.
But it never happened. So, Aang left. He walked slowly down the dirt path, passing a turqoise car. The feeling of loss was heavy on his shoulders.
When he finally arrived home, his parents were asleep already. It made sense, they never got the chance to go to bed early when they were on a business trip. Aang climbed up the stairs to his room and laid down on the bed.
The sheets smelled like cigarette smoke and something ambrosial. It smelled like Zuko, and he wrapped himself in the covers. An hour later, he called Toph to tell her what had happened. Toph was his friend too.
"I'm sorry this happened, I know you liked him," She said.
"You didn't?" Aang asked, wiping his nose. He'd been crying for a good few minutes.
"Of course I liked him, he was my friend," Toph said. "I meant I know you... liked him."
"Oh," Aang understood. "Yeah..."
"I have to go," She sighed. "I'll see you in school, alright?"
"Yeah," He said, and hungup.
He didn't think anything would ever fix this. Aang was worried he would feel like this for the rest of his life, and he couldn't deal with that. His only two options were to either try and forget about Zuko, which he didn't want to do, and the other one was to pester Zuko until he forgave Aang for whatever he had done. Because this was his fault. Somehow. He knew it was his fault.
<3
Hiiii I'm on my computer. My webcam is off, so I can write a story ! ! I have to take notes soon :/ but it's alright cause I'm going to have to study them for tests.
I hope you liked the chapter. I'm so excited for the next chapter!! I swear it won't be sad !! I promise!!
guys i have written like 2 other finished chapters and i'm just waiting to publish them :||||