DMS | lashton + malum

By nobodyislistenin

8.1K 468 881

stupid conversations between the boys of 5sos ----- lashton + malum More

dms ➪︎ info
the wiggles
shut up michael
calum has a crisis
im bored asf
butt dial
butt dial 2
all of my life has been heartbreak weather
calum is sad
superbloom
i love you
max goof
honey i exploded the microwave
walking on watermelons

goddamn autocorrect

427 27 65
By nobodyislistenin

sorry this took so long, im the worst. hopefully even if it's all in good fun, the characters are starting to develop more. i really want this to be as realistic as it can get, which i know several aspects to this story are false, but hopefully they all seem like their true selves at least a little. i hope this is okay :')

btw, this is a continuation (sorta. like the next day or something) from the last chapter.

:')

________________

ashtonirwin to lukehemmings

ashtonirwin:
why aren't you answering my calls?

lukehemmings:
um i can explain

ashtonirwin:
then explain??

lukehemmings:
i like my ringtone 😔

ashtonirwin:
heavenly father take the wheel before i commit manslaughter

lukehemmings:
what ?! 😳 it's catchy...

ashtonirwin:
luke please. there is an important matter that needs to be discussed.

lukehemmings:
you're cute when you use big words 🥺😍

ashtonirwin:
you are about five seconds away from being single.

lukehemmings:
fine fine
what's the matter baby?

ashtonirwin:
it's michael and calum.

lukehemmings:
oh my god i thought you said it was important

ashtonirwin:
luke!
we need to get them back together asap.

lukehemmings:
what have they ever done for me?

ashtonirwin:
you are about to be without sex for so long you will be considered a virgin again.

lukehemmings:
im sorryyyy !
how do you suppose we get malum fucking again

ashtonirwin:
im not sure..
calum told me that his feelings for michael never left, and michael only agreed to call it off because he thought that's what cal wanted. so, maybe just talk to them? help them be aware of the truth?

lukehemmings:
sounds good.
lemme know how it goes

ashtonirwin:
no sir, you're helping.

lukehemmings:
please don't call me sir
i feel 60 now

ashtonirwin:
sorry
sir

lukehemmings:
😑

ashtonirwin:
anyways. you're talking to michael, he likes you better.

lukehemmings:
😂
you think michael clifford likes luke hemmings more than ashton irwin?

ashtonirwin:
what's with the full names🤨
but yeah i mean who doesn't like you more than me?

lukehemmings:
that's very insecure of you

ashtonirwin:
lmao oops

lukehemmings:
☹️ baby you're perfect. you're the sun and the stars and everything bright. i promise no one likes me more than you. if anything it's an equal hatred for both of us. calum and michael are only loving towards each other

ashtonirwin:
i love you baby. you're too good for my bitchy ass lmao.

lukehemmings:
i love your bitchy ass 🥰

ashtonirwin:
so.. i guess we'll talk later after this goes down?

lukehemmings:
alright. love you

ashtonirwin:
love you more

lukehemmings:
🥰
oh, and darling?

ashtonirwin:
yes?

lukehemmings:
would you like to fuck tomorrow?
i did not mean to say that
goddamn autocorrect

ashtonirwin:
what did you mean to say then?

lukehemmings:
would you like to fuck today?

ashtonirwin:
goodbye luke

ashtonirwin left

lukehemmings:
i'll take that as a yes 😏

~~~~~~~~~

ashtonirwin to calumhood

ashtonirwin:
hey you got a second

calumhood:
yeah what's up?

ashtonirwin:
well first, how did the rest of last night go?

calumhood:
i hardly remember anything but i do know that i got hit by a car from the headlines.
and apparently i need to apologise to two members of one direction.
or one..? still not sure who had louis' phone.

ashtonirwin:
okay then...
we will discuss 1d issues later, right now we need to talk about you and michael.

calumhood:
i was planning to forget about him

ashtonirwin:
calum he's not exactly a one night stand. you ARE in a famous band with him. plus he's your best friend honey.

calumhood:
yeah i know☹️ besides. he won't let me forget about him. if i'm not thinking of him, it's only because i'm with him.
speaking of.. this morning he sent me the cutest picture, wanna see?

ashtonirwin:
um no, i don't wanna see
so you already talked to him?

calumhood:
yeah... but i didn't mention my feelings. i got so close but i remembered that he doesn't want a relationship with me. he seems happy anyways. i didn't wanna bother him

ashtonirwin:
cal, i'm 100% certain he was happy because he was talking to you. he loves you.

calumhood:
as a friend. even worse- as a 🤢 b 🤢 br 🤢 broth 🤮 brother

ashtonirwin:
no, he loves you like i love luke. we all have brother-like bonds but you know as well as i do that me and luke, and you and michael have something different.

calumhood:
how do you know that? did he tell you?

ashtonirwin:
yeah. that's what this is about. i wanted to tell you that he still has feelings for you.

calumhood:
you couldn't have said it sooner? goddamn

calumhood left

ashtonirwin:
no thank you? what does it take for some respect around here? sheesh

~~~~~~~~

lukehemmings to michaelclifford

lukehemmings:
oi
nerd

michaelclifford:
this better b good lucas i was in the middle of a game

lukehemmings:
i'll get straight to the point.
calum still has feelings for you and honestly you should get back with him

michaelclifford:
huh. cool. will do

lukehemmings:
right okay and can you just tell ash you like him better than me or something thanks

michaelclifford:
...sure

lukehemmings:
alright im gonna collect some ass now

michaelclifford:
use protection 👍🏻

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