I bought a decent amount of beers for the group at lock in, Olivia refused to come in the store with me so I got what I could manage. Now we're back at her house and she doesn't seem happy about something, I think it was the stunt I pulled earlier so I'm not going to ask her what is up and let her unleash her mood. Fuck that. Instead I lay back on her bed texting people who actually wanted to speak to me.
L: Got the ale.
J: Good man! Come round. Stay the night.
L: At Livs tonight, if she doesn't kick me out.
J: Why would she kick you out?
Z: Sorry was busy with Tash. What's happening?
"Was you really going to meet this Jill earlier?" She finally spoke to me, though the question made it obvious that she wanted to have this out with me.
"Did you really go on a first date with Jordan the other day?" She shot me a sarcastic face that told me the answer I already knew. I know they didn't go on a date but it did intrigue me as to why they met up in the first place.
"You're so frustrating! You've really let me in these past few weeks, really opened up about things. But then other times you are so closed off. If you was never going to meet with jill why did you make me tell you to stay? And then you sit there on that thing, typing to someone when you're supposed to be hanging out with me. Which slut is it this time? Jill? Ruby? Cindy?"
I blinked at her unexpected outburst with my mouth slightly ajar. I threw my hands back in hair and thought through my reply before I offered her it.
"You're feeling needy today, huh?" I said quietly.
I honestly felt a little bad for playing on her emotions earlier and now she was hooked on overthinking what Jill meant to me when in reality she is the only girl that matters or me or ever has mattered to me. I shouldn't make her doubt herself.
"Here." I said handing her my phone, she looked confused and I started to worry if I had made the right decision but let's be real, my phone isn't going to tell her anything she doesn't already know so I gave her the combination to unlock it and gestured for her to take it out of my hand.
"I'm not going to look through your phone."
I ignored her words and lay back on her bed tucking my hands under my head to form a pillow with my forearms. She keyed in my combination and my heart started racing, this felt so abnormal to me. She looked at me, needing instruction to continue.
"Start with the pictures."
I watched her move her fingers across my screen and by her positioning I knew she was hitting the 'photos' app. I held my breath and studied her reaction, even though I didn't really want to see it. She flicked through each photo, her eyes softening with each one and the anger or jealousy she had felt moments before evaporated into wave of sympathy and hurt.
"I.. uh... like to take pictures of my injuries with a timestamp. Incase I need it someday." I explained, feeling like an idiot as she swiped deeper and deeper into my photo app.
"I don't want to look through your phone anymore." She said with a shaky voice and held the phone out for me to take but I pushed it away.
"Liv you're not done yet. Go to messages." This is what she really wanted.
"I'm not reading your messages Liam." She shrieked. I giggled at the horror in her voice, I know she was probably worried about seeing something she didn't like but she needed to know there was no other girls.
"Just the ones from the girls." I watched as she read over my text messages. "You see, I've not been with anyone since the tournament." I admitted.
"I believed you."
"I know you did but I still wanted you to see it for yourself, I'm not sitting here with you and texting some girl. I've deleted their nudes and everything. I'm just not interested anymore."
She handed me my phone back and I set it down on the bedside table. "We gotta get some sleep, it's not like we'll be getting any tomorrow night." I stood up and started removing my clothes, I felt brave enough to take my shirt off today because she had just seen the damage herself on phone so I didn't need the monstrosity of my chest and feel awkward about her reaction.
Except when I stood before her in nothing but my boxer shorts she looked over every inch of me, without a horrifying expression, more like a appreciative one. I didn't even feel uncomfortable under the gaze of her wandering eye because I was so taken aback by it. How can anyone look at this body, like that? It's disgusting, marked and exposes my weaknesses.
"Are you done?" I asked, wanting to hide away under the duvet.
"W... what? she stuttered out and her cheeks blushed a strong shade of pink.
"Are you done perving at me because I would really like to get into bed." I wore my cocky smile, one I wear often when girls give me compliments, I just didn't think I'd ever wearing when wearing nothing but underwear. She nodded her head and crawled into safety, hiding the material of her bedsheets over my skin.
As we lay there together the horrible memories came flooding back to me of the last time I was in her bed with her. "Liv, if I have a nightmare don't touch me. Just throw water at me or something." I spoke with utter serious, needing her to hear me and take on board what I say.
"Okay." she said sincerely.
We lay in silence after that, listening to the sleepy breaths we each took and relishing in the peacefulness of the night.
"Liam?" She whispered
"Yeah?" I whispered back.
"I'm sorry to hear you're still suffering with penile dysfunction, I offer my deepest condolences to your sex life."
"Liv?" I whispered
"Yeah?" She whispered back.
"Shut up." I said with a smile.