A sleepover inside of a hospital. It's like this was made up from my worst memories. The events surrounding Robin's death.
Even though I don't want to, I remember the last time I was in a hospital, not as a visitor but as a patient.
**3 Years Ago**
I don't know how many days have passed by but everything is white, and gray. The nurse said in addition to having a concussion I need to stay on an IV drip.
"Why isn't my brother alive?" I ask her.
She looks up from her clipboard with a shocked expression.
"Why am I still alive?" I ask eyeing the needle in my arm. With one swift movement I rip it out. The pain is like adrenaline and it sends me over to the hospital window. We must be on like the fourth floor.
So many people grab me and I want to bring them down with me for trying to stop me. Another needle is inserted into me and I loose all of my adrenaline as everything goes black.
•••
"How much do you want?"
"Mr.Wellsworth, I'm sorry but I really suggest that your son see a psychiatrist. He's having suicidal tendencies and his depression is-"
The sound of papers rattling sends the doctor into silence, that along with my fathers next sentence. "I'm allotting you two options. Either take this today, or send in your letter of resignation tomorrow."
More paper followed by approaching footsteps follow. I suddenly feel a rough hand pull me up by it's entanglement in my hair. My eyes shoot open as everything comes into focus.
"Cut the shit. You're getting out of here today unless you want to miss your brother's funeral, which I'm not letting happen over my own dead body." My father says in a voice low enough for no one else to hear but loud enough to still be menacing.
"Robin's not having a funeral, he's still alive." I don't want this to be a lie but it is.
He lets go of my hair and I fall back onto the fluffy pillow behind me."You can go see for yourself the wreck that's blocked off the highway. Or better yet, you could turn on the TV-"
"STOP!" I scream reaching a hand out to him. The tube in my arm shakes with every movement.
"I'll send George to escort you there personally. With all of the reporters and paparazzi not much has been cleaned up." He walks further away from me, towards the wall where I remember there use to be a window. I guess they changed my room because of my "suicidal tendencies".
"It's already enough of a scene out there so don't go and make another one. Get your act together and keep it together. Before, you had your brother to save your ass from all of the backlash from the ignorances and failures you tend to make ever so often. But now it's just you. Everyone will be watching you so never forget to keep your image spotless and perfect. The company will be yours one day and nothing is standing in the way to lift some of the weight off of your shoulders. You will inherit everything."
His words drift around in my skull replaying in different orders but they still don't make sense. "What are you talking about?" I ask before being interjected by another rage-filled pull. This time it's my shirt, and my body jerks forward limply in response.
"Your stylist will be here in five minutes. I don't know what kind of drugs he's going to have to give you but hopefully they will be able to knock a little bit of sense into you. This funeral is only three hours away and it needs to happen as soon as possible so that we can proceed with other meetings and get past this issue."
I stare into his eyes wondering how a parent could be so cruel. "If Robin really did die then how can you just sweep this under the rug like it's nothing?"
"It's called business. Something that you're going to have to learn a lot more about." He let's go of me again but I'm strong enough not to fall back this time. My eyes follow him as he turns away from me and walks back over towards the white wall.
"When at a level as high as ours we can't afford to look down, nor get side tracked by any unfortunate events. Emotions and personal relations all have to be sacrificed for the good of the company."
"So what am I supposed to do?"
"You will maintain this thing called the 'inner circle'. No one gets in and no one gets out. The only people that are now relevant to your life are the people that pertain to this company and your image. I've already set it up for you. Noah Delaney, Mark Caspian, Cameron Day and Leo McPherson. At the time you may have thought you chose those friends but in actuality I along with their parents planned all of this since before you were born. With them you'll always have the political, technical, legal and favorable aspects of everything at your disposal."
I let his words sit atop, undissolved because they can't sink in.
"How?" I ask throwing my head back onto the pillow. I want to go back into a dreamless sleep.
I want to go back.
**Present Day**
I wake up and check my phone, before rolling around in my sleeping bag.
I'm met by Leo's closed eyes and chubby cheeks. He's asleep like everyone else, so I seize the opportunity to play with his face. Luckily he's a heavy sleeper because if he wasn't he'd probably pretend like he doesn't love this. Squishy squishy. His puffy lips poke out, his face is always puffy when he sleeps. Haha fish face. I smile at his squishiness.
I get bored and decide to look around the porcelain room. That's when I notice Rosalina. Even though she's sleeping in a hospital bed she seems really comfortable, that let's me know that she has low expectations and is easily impressed. She managed to avoid bed head I realize as I stare into her deep brown waves, that means she's a still sleeper, possibly a light sleeper. The covers wrap loosely around her small frame, which makes me want to get up and lie in bed next to her. Under the covers, sharing warmth. We could do other things too.
Out of the corner of my, eye two piercingly dark eyes manage to catch my attention. Mark doesn't even blink as he stares at me, staring at him after being caught staring at Rosalina. I say "being caught" but it's hardly even that.
I realize how oddly I'd been thinking, to be longing for Rosalina's touch and wanting to cuddle with her. She's a girl after all, which is hard to believe because I don't really see her that way. It's not that I see her as a boy. She's more like an "other" yet, neither. Someone who I'd never ever be lovers with but they aren't completely unattractive. Anything romantic in any way shape or form is practically impossible for us. Our social classes bring a large segregating factor as well as current status, not just economically but in the eye of basically, yeah, everyone.
I don't even want to become freinds with her. But it's hard not to when I'm forced to spend time with her. There's something about her and her timid personality that just draws me in unknowingly. It's invisible yet so mesmurizing.
I know that I have to become more callous towards her for both of our sake.
I'm crazy off of my meds. I slip out of my sleeping bag snake-shedding-it's-skin style then quickly run off to the bathroom to prepare myself for the day.
●●●
I exit the steamy bathroom, that's nothing like mine at home sadly. I made do with what I had and ultimately decided to just accept what I didn't. Sigh. I want to leave already, but Noah, once again, is gushing over the girl who hasn't even finished her morning meal yet.
"Noah you're seriously in love with Rose. You'd think you were the one who wrote the first dare and not Ella."
Damn Leo and his honesty.
Rosalina looks up at him, a look on her face that I can't place. "What? Ella wrote the first dare? What was the first dare?"
No one speaks. We can't tell her.
Our relationship with Ella.
It started out as just trying to make her feel pretty. Just trying to make her feel like she wasn't worthless. But she didn't care about how she felt about herself, I did. She cared about how I felt about her. She wanted to make me feel something for her, but I couldn't. For one, I knew she couldn't win her battle so why would I risk sanding by her side? Why would I try to catch someone who had already landed? And two Mark was madly, crazily in love with her.
Even though I hated her at times, most of the time, for destroying Mark and for being so inconsiderate yet consistent with her words, I know that she had feelings. And the first dare showed that.
"What was the first dare?" She asks again this time turning towards Noah with her eyebrows furrowed in concern.
"It was to stay by your side."
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Author's Note: Leo aka Jimin pic GAAAAAAAAH, as well as the song that inspired me to start actually writing this story. Yup .And thanks so much to all of my readers and voters! 100 VOTES!! Woot woot. Hm yes please be sure to vote for this chapter and maybe possibly comment too..... Once again thanks for all of the support towards this story and super duper thanks for making itto this revealing chapter. Any questions? Comment. Chu~