B R E N
Without a doubt in my stupid, messed-up mind, I knew that the girl who sat across the living room, tucked into the couch while we watched TV, was my favorite person in the whole goddamn world.
But Christ, I was fucking annoyed with her right now.
And I was doing a terrible job at hiding it.
I said we could watch Grey's Anatomy, hoping that maybe they'd kill off another one of their dumbass, accident-prone main characters so it would draw Madie's attention away from me for at least a few minutes. But she kept darting worried glances my way.
Clearly, I'd picked the wrong episode. It just kept showing different doctors fucking in supply closets.
All I wanted was to sit in my irritation for a moment without being interrupted by those big blue eyes, begging me not to be mad.
But it wasn't like I could go to a different room. I knew how much it would bother her to see me walk away. So I sat here, angrily ruminating about how Madie's parents were coming in a few days and about how they were going to try to take her away with them. They were going to try to take her away from me.
"Bren, baby," she said, her voice soft and sweet as it reached over to me.
Fuck, she just had to add the baby onto my name, and it cut straight through my defenses. The only other time she'd called me that was when I'd been thrusting into her like a madman, and she'd murmured it in my ear, encouraging me with her breathy moans. Sex with Madie had been beyond incredible, but I couldn't let myself think about that right now.
I sighed. "What?"
"I'm sorry I told them, okay?"
I nodded. I knew she was. I knew the conversation with her mom hadn't gone like she'd planned it to go.
But I was still annoyed.
"I just don't get why you thought the solution was to tell her the truth." I tried to keep my voice even, but my crossed arms tightened over my chest as I talked.
"I don't know," Madie muttered. "She just kept pressing it. She wouldn't take no for an answer when I said she didn't need to come to Oakland. And it's hard to keep stuff from your mom, ya know?"
"Sorry, haven't been able to relate for a few years," I snapped, making Madie's eyes grow wide.
Ah, fuck.
I must be even more irritated than I realized if I was going to get sensitive about mom shit.
"Bren, I'm so sorry—"
I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—" I sighed again. "It's fine, Madie."
But it wasn't. Not really. However, it had nothing to do with my mom.
Madie leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. She seemed so far away already, sitting on the opposite end of the sofa.
"They're my parents. They just want to see me for Thanksgiving."
"You gotta stop being so naive, Madie," I said through gritted teeth. "I thought you were done being blind to it all."
Madie flinched, and I knew I fucked up. She stood and began to walk stiffly away.
"Madie..." I tried to reach for her as she strode past me, but she evaded my grasp. "Don't run away. Come on, if I can't, neither can you."
"I can if you're being an ass, Bren," she bit out, making her way to the stairs and beginning to climb them.
I swore beneath my breath. "I'm sorry." When she didn't stop, I jumped up, wanting to catch her before she closeted herself away. But she was already halfway to the second floor. When I reached the bottom landing, I flung myself into the stairwell and hollered up at her. "I'm just fucking scared, okay?"
She stopped. Turned on the step she was on. Began ambling back down, one step at a time.
When she was at eye level with me, I whispered to her. "I'm scared they're going to try to convince you to go back home. I'm scared that you're going to end up in South Lake Tahoe or Oakland, and Quinton is going to find a way to hurt you again. I'm scared that I'm going to lose you after I just—"
"Bren," she cut in. "You said you trusted me."
"I do trust you."
"Then trust me. I'm not blind to it all. I know that they will probably try to convince me to leave with them. But that doesn't mean I'm going to go."
I drew my mouth closed in a tight line, keeping my words locked in while I thought. I wanted to believe that. Well, I did believe that Madie thought she wasn't going to leave me and that she could simply say no to them. But after years of bending to the will of her parents, I knew it might not be that easy to actually do.
There was nothing I could do but give her this chance to prove herself, though. And try not to lose my mind worrying in the meantime.
"I'm sorry, Madie. That was a shitty thing to say. I—you're right."
Madie's face fell a little, her irritation visibly fading from it. She lifted her hands, cradling either side of my face with them.
"And I'm sorry that they're coming. I know, I know, it's probably a terrible idea. I know I'm asking you to put up with more than you ever bargained for. I know I don't deserve you, Bren. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about this, too. But can we just be nervous together?"
I closed my eyes, wishing I'd been more considerate of how she must be feeling. "Yes, baby. Of course."
Then I flicked my gaze up, making myself dwell in her pleading eyes for a moment. Because I needed to see the emotion there to understand that it wasn't just me who was going through all of these thoughts.
And then, when I couldn't take it anymore, I wrapped my arms around her waist and plucked her from the steps. She curled around my hips and my neck, letting me carry her back to the sofa.
"And don't say shit like that," I grumbled in her ear.
"Like what?"
"That you don't deserve me."
Her smile curved against my cheek as we tumbled back onto the couch. And then I forced myself to pay attention to Grey's Anatomy while Madie snuggled into me, pulling a blanket up over both of us.
The next few days passed slowly. We both had a few papers and quizzes to finish before the Thanksgiving break, and that, combined with the nervousness from our upcoming visitors, meant Madie and I were as stressed as we had ever been at the beach house.
I didn't know what to expect. According to Madie, her mom was surprised—but not really upset—about the news that Madie was in LA. Mostly, she was annoyed that it had been kept a secret. And then Mrs. Lenertz had apparently bombarded Madie with questions about me, which only made made my nerves tighten further. Who knew how they'd view this weird situation of Madie and I living together miles away from campus?
And how the hell was going to make a good impression on her parents when I pretty much thought they were pieces of shit for how they had treated her and the decisions they'd made regarding Quinton?
Zero parts of me were good at smooth-talking and schmoozing—unlike Quinton. I was nothing like the guy they were used to their daughter being with. And for good fucking reason.
Madie's parents planned to arrive the night before Thanksgiving, and by five o'clock that evening, both Madie and I were going a little crazy. The house was clean. We'd bought a ton of food. We even donned new outfits. And now we were just waiting.
When the doorbell rang, Madie popped up from the kitchen table, smoothed her hair, and bounced to the front of the house. I hung back, wringing my hands.
The sounds of cheerful, though partly muffled, greetings filled the entryway. A low murmur of voices reached my ears, growing louder as the three of them made their way into the house.
Madie's dad stepped forward first. A tall guy with white-blonde hair, he had a confident, business-like air as he strode toward me. Madie followed quickly behind, shuffling her feet to keep up with her dad.
"Mom, dad," she said breathlessly. "This is Bren."
Madie's dad stuck his hand out, and I shook it, my hand nearly crushed in the process.
"So," Mr. Lenertz began, drawing the word out and the tension of the moment with it. But then he said, "You're the boy that saved my daughter's life, huh?"
He released my hand, and my arm dropped to my side with a thud. I simply blinked up at him, not knowing what to say. Luckily, Madie stepped in.
"He is, dad." Her expression was sheepish as she looked from me to her parents. "He's the one who found me and brought me to the hospital. Without him...well, I don't know what would have happened."
Madie peered at me between her long lashes, telling me things with that glance. She was telling me things she had never said before. We had never talked about that.
Mr. Lenertz nodded. "And then you brought her here?"
I cleared my throat, trying to bring myself to look away from her and give my attention to her dad. "Yes, sir." I paused, considering. "I was worried for her safety. With Quinton still around."
I tried not to make the statement sound pointed, considering it was partly this guy's fault that he was free, but who knew if I was successful. I still wasn't sure if I cared or not.
"Ah, yes," Madie's dad said, sighing. He adjusted his plain blue tie and looked down at his daughter. "We need to talk about that."
Madie's smile wobbled.
Her dad scanned the living room. "Nice place," he muttered beneath his breath before making his way toward the sliding glass door that led to the patio. "Why don't we go out here?" he asked, raising a brow at his daughter.
"Now?" Madie asked, eyes bugging out. "But you just got here."
Mr. Lenertz pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think it's important to get out of the way."
Though Madie appeared a bit bewildered, she followed her dad outside. He closed the door tightly behind them. I watched them disappear into the sea of sand, their outlines visible against the dusky sky.
"So tell me about yourself, Bren."
I startled, spinning toward Madie's mom. I'd forgotten she was there.
"Um, not much to tell, Mrs. Lenertz."
She leaned on the kitchen island, her head perched in her hands. The middle-aged woman had fiery hair, curled in perfect ringlets, matching the precision of her manicured nails. Sky-blue eyes that nearly matched her daughter's stared back at me. She tilted her head to the side.
"Oh, call me Patricia, dear."
I gave her a small smile. "Okay, Patricia."
She exhaled heavily. It was a sigh that told of a long day. And so I wasn't that surprised when she asked her next question. "Got anything to drink around here?"
"Depends on what you're looking for," I said, trying to broaden my smile. "Madie and I grabbed some things at the store this morning. She told me you favor Bordeaux, but we obviously couldn't buy that."
She surveyed me beneath a layer of mascara. A heavy amount of disbelief threaded into her words when she spoke again. "You're telling me that two nineteen-year-olds have been living here on their own for the past month, and there isn't a drop of alcohol in this house?" A sly smile slid up her pink lips. A smattering of weathered freckles outlined them. "Don't hold out on me, Bren."
I laughed—awkwardly—and leaned on the countertop, not sure what to say. Beau's parents had a stash of hard liquor in the cellar that I'd occasionally dipped into, but I wasn't sure I wanted to start taking Tequila shots with Madie's mom within five minutes of meeting her. Something told me that she wouldn't turn down the opportunity.
Luckily, the woman took pity on me. She waved her hand in dismissal, her rings shining as they hit the harsh kitchen lighting.
"So," she began, and I tensed as I waited for whatever was going to come out of her mouth next.
I wasn't ready.
"Are you and my daughter friends? Or more than friends?" she piqued, raising a brow.
I raised a brow, too. There was absolutely no beating around the bush with this lady. I didn't know what Madie would want me to say. What had she already told her mom on the phone? She and I had never really defined what we were, but we were definitely more than friends.
I didn't reply. That seemed like the easiest way about this.
"Well," Madie's mom said with another sly twist of her lips, "It's just that it's all a bit romantic, isn't it?"
I tried to school my expression. I was sure I failed. "I'm sorry?"
"Oh, all of this," she said, gesturing around flippantly. "You whisking Madie off to this beach house, protecting her."
Literally none of today was going how I'd thought it was going to.
But I faintly recalled Madie telling me that her mom had a deep attraction to Nicholas Sparks novels—and an even deeper obsession with the accompanying movies—so it shouldn't be a surprise that she was going on about romance with a wistful look on her face.
But I just really needed Madie's parents to know that they left their daughter in a horrible situation when they let Quinton get away with everything he'd done. And this wasn't a fucking fairytale.
"Mrs. Lenertz," I hedged.
"Patricia," she corrected.
"Er, right. Patricia." I shifted my weight onto my other foot. "I didn't bring Madie here to be romantic. I brought her here because she wasn't safe on campus. I don't want you to get the wrong idea."
I turned to the side so I could see Madie and her dad, their silhouettes clear through the window. Madie's hair kept catching on the wind. It was dark enough outside that I couldn't quite see the brilliant color of it from here, but I could see how the strands lifted and fell as she sat in the sand next to the figure of her dad.
Mrs. Lenertz made a little humming noise that I barely registered, too entranced by Madie's profile against the barely-there traces of lavender left in the sky.
Finally, I turned back to her mom.
"I'm sorry, what?"
She had a knowing smile on her face. "Oh, nothing."
I continued to stare at her, wondering what I'd missed.
"It's just..." She paused, sighing. "Now I can't help but wonder if you're in denial."
"Denial?" I frowned.
"It's just so obvious, dear."
"Obvious?"
Mrs. Lenertz—Patricia—leaned back, standing as she appraised me. She gave her head a small shake, ringlets bouncing as she did.
"Yes, Bren." She laughed softly. "Obvious that you're in love. With Madie."
It took me a moment to comprehend her words, but when I did, my response was automatic. Because I wasn't in denial.
"Yeah," I said, my voice faint and distant to my own ears, like I was telling a secret that even I hadn't known. My eyes found Madie again. "Yeah, I am."
Madie stood, wiping the sand off her legs as she twisted around. She looked up. She saw me. She smiled. And then, with the very little breath I had left, I added, "I really fucking am."
🖤
Is that what you expected from Madie's parents?
Well, more to come.
We shall see.
xoxoxoxo