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Ivy's dress
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I hated every moment of this. I had spent the last week trying to pretend that my family wasn't a broken mess but it wasn't working and by now I was completely and utterly sick of it.
My mother looked at me before looking away again, grabbing yet another bottle of vodka and disappearing to her bedroom with it. This was normal. My Mum drank, my Dad vanished and I left.
Before Amanda died everything was happy. All of my memories were the four of us, Amanda, Mum, Dad and of course, me. But one day she killed herself... And it was my fault. It was all because I thought I was in love with Whitney. I chose some girl over flesh and blood. And it cost me my sister's life. I felt the familiar anger simmer inside of me and I knew I had to go get it out by one of the only two ways I knew.
1. Take it out on someone else
Or,
2. Go running and risk the emotions that told me to just keep running and never come back.
Neither option was easy for me and yet the decision was already made. I couldn't take it out on anyone else. If there was one thing Amanda's death had taught me it was that you have no idea what goes on inside someone's head. Instantly my mind switched to thoughts of Ivy. The sweet, innocent girl I had kissed almost two days ago.
I shook the thoughts off me and grimly went to go out on my running gear. I couldn't afford to think of Ivy. She was a distraction and I couldn't allow myself a distraction. Besides, she was probably going through the hardest time in her life having her mum die and I didn't want to make anything worse. I was already responsible for one suicide and I'd be damned before I became responsible for another.
Jamming my feet into my sneakers I ran out of the front door and down the street. I had no idea where I was going but that didn't faze me, I just needed to blow off steam and running did that for me. With every ponding footstep I took I thought of another memory of Amanda, another time when I took her for granted.
I should have known from the start. The sadness in her eyes even when she smiled, the dark humour and the jokes about death. The way she told me that when she died she didn't want me to cry at her funeral. It was a silent plea for help that I ignored.
I heard the ringing of an alarm somewhere in the back of my hearing and I slowed to a stop. The alarm was loud and blaring and I knew what it was. A fire alarm. A schools fire alarm.
I remembered what Ivy had told me about her school and if I remembered correctly it was the only one in the area, which meant she was in the school that was currently blaring it's cry of fire across the neighbourhood. I didn't see any smoke but that didn't mean anything.
Suddenly my thoughts were dominated completely by the small girl I had talked to yesterday. From the way her brown hair tumbled over her shoulders to her intoxicating smell of vanilla and cinnamon, I was addicted.
And in that moment I knew that I couldn't possibly walk away from that school. Ivy would be in there and for all I know she could be dead, dying, wounded...
I didn't even realise I had started running until something-no- someone crashed into my side, causing us both to fall over and roll a couple times until I saw the girl who had fallen on top of me.
"Hey there Ivy!" I said cheerfully and her soft cheeks went pink, I was so glad she wasn't in that school I didn't care about the slightly strange position we were in or the fact that the wind was biting into my bare arms. But I did care that Ivy's face was stained with tears and her white blouse was also wet. "You ok sweetheart?" I asked her softly and a stray tear fell from her eye which she hastily wiped off before Rolling away from me and sitting close but not to close.
"You know you can talk to me right?" I asked her and she sighed quietly, nestling herself closer to my side. "I can't go back Ryan... It's horrible. They're all horrible and I can't go back."
It infuriated me that someone would make a beautiful girl like Ivy cry like this but I knew exactly who it was. "Whitney" I snarled and Ivy nodded, not looking at me, instead she looked out at the hills around us. I didn't know where we were except that we were close to the school and there was only fields around us and clearly Ivy didn't know either but that didn't faze me.
"What did she say Ivy?" I asked her and Ivy began to move around, digging through her backpack and eventually passing me a folded up scrap of paper.
I opened it and slowly read it, "Oh fuck no." I growled, making Ivy tense the tiniest amount beside me. She looked so lost in that second, like she was trying to find out who she was but all she managed was to run into dead ends. "It might be genetic." Ivy whispered, shocking me slightly. "What might be?" She looked into my eyes and I looked back into hers. "Cancer. Ryan. My mum died from cancer and it may be genetic."
Well didn't that just brighten my day. "They're right you know. I don't really have a place here. Whitney made that clear."
I shook my head and without thinking, I circled her tiny hand in mine which caused her to gasp slightly and her blue eyes to grow even larger than usual. I could get lost in her eyes. They were a mesmerising blue that reminded me of the ocean.
"No. You listen to me Ivy. You are beautiful and smart and caring and friendly and Whitney feels pressured the you might steal her spot as HBIC and to her that would be the worst thing out there. So you can either leave the school and avoid it completely or you can break down those protective barriers and walk in there knowing exactly who you are and what you're going to do."
She sniffled a little before smiling at me for the first time today. "Thanks Ryan, you're a good friend." I chuckled and smiled back at her, although she had complemented me the words hurt. Shaking the thought away I just looked at Ivy who sat straight up with her eyes filled with hope.
"Hey Ryan? You don't reckon you could do anything to get me a place in your school right?" I tensed slightly but smiled at her nevertheless. I didn't want her to see who I was at school, I knew it wasn't good but I couldn't change. They wouldn't let me.
"I don't know, I can try, my Dad's the principal after all." I couldn't crush her hopeful smile. I just had to hope that she wouldn't see me any different when she saw the real me.
"I'm so glad! Thank you Ryan! That school is so horrible and all the girls hate me." Her excitement made me feel butterflies and suddenly it became my mission to make her smile all the time, she seemed so innocent on the outside but I knew that she could be a total badass if she let it out, and that made me curious as to why she didn't. She had the gun, so why not shoot it?
Suddenly her phone started ringing and she picked it up without checking the caller id. I knew she had made a mistake when she went pale and walked away from my hearing range. I only caught the words mother and expelled but I knew neither of them were good.
When she finally came back I smiled at her and she smiled back. "That was my Aunt... I've been expelled from my school." She said and my heart sank, "your Aunt? Not your step father?" Suddenly her face brightened into a smirk and she bit her lip gently. "He thinks I'm selectively mute around him. He's an ok guy but when he's drunk I don't want anything to do with him."
I chuckled at her way of solving things before I stood up and brushed off my jeans. "Come on, you need to loosen up and I have just the place." I grabbed her hand and started dragging her away gently but she stopped still and carefully pried her hand from mine. "Please don't pull me around. Bad memories." This sparked curiousity inside me but I ignored it.
I kept walking and she caught up to me quickly. "Where are we going?" I just smiled at her and she rolled her eyes, "Ryannnn pleaseeeee," her tone of voice made me laugh but I didn't answer her.
When we finally arrived she raised an eyebrow at me. "We're 15 dummie. How do you propose we get into a club?" Her sassiness was hilarious but I didn't reply, instead just copying her facial expression and pulling something out of my pocket. My fake id. Whatever was left of her smile disappeared. "That's not my face."
I scoffed at her with my nose crinkled. "I would hope that's not your face." She smiled but still looked severely confused. "I know the owner, we can just go in. We don't even need the fake IDs."
Her lips instantly formed an O and I laughed at her expression. "Let me just go buy a dress from over there," she pointed at a dress shop opposite this, "and I'll catch up to you."
I nodded and she ran across the street and into the shop. I decided I wanted a couple of friends there so I called up Lara and Ty, knowing that they would want to come clubbing.
Not even 10 minutes later I saw a figure emerge from the dress shop and my mouth literally dropped open. Ivy was wearing a fitted black dress that showed her curves but didn't show too much of her body, her hair had also been changed and was in soft waves falling down her shoulders i noticed she was also wearing a light layer of makeup. How she had managed that I was confused but she pulled it off.
It was still light outside- still the afternoon- but I had always preferred less people in the club and if you going during the day does that than that's what I'll do. Besides it was a 24/7 club.
She smiled at me and I smiled back, I was definately awestruck and I think she noticed that because she gave a small smile and started into the club. I followed her and soon enough we were on the floor with all the lights dimmed except the disco ball. My heart beat was probably going too fast for my own good but I didn't care. I couldn't let anything stop me from having a good time with the girl who was sassily sashaying her way into my bitter heart.
We spent the next half hour dancing stupidly to fast songs until finally a slow song played and I almost instantly shot my hand out towards Ivy, taking her by surprise. "May I have this dance?" I asked and she placed her palm in mine down at the floor shyly as she did so. I dragged her towards the dancefloor and she put her arms around my neck as I held her hips, pulling her closer to me, our gazes held the entire song until the last note.
We didn't pull away, instead we just stared into each other's eyes and I felt a million emotions all at once. Lust, anger, confusion, lonely and yet... Complete. And just as I was leaning down to capture her lips in mine we heard a voice that caused her to have a mini heart attack.
"Well how sweet is this..."
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A/N: I hate it. I don't like this chapter but I keep rewriting it and it isn't getting any better. Who do you think the voice at the end was? And what do you think Ivy's reaction to these new people will be?
Do you follow star signs and horoscope?
Love y'all,
Katnip 💖