Chapter 19
Restrictions
"Just like what we talked about, Leo. You don't have to be nervous about it, and you shouldn't be scared of facing him. If things went out perfectly, be great about it. But you're not sure of what's gonna happen right? Don't assume anything right now, just trust yourself. You won't know it unless you heard it from him. You like him right?" Staffan asked and Leo nodded, "then go for it or you'll lose your chance to be with him because you were a coward towards your feelings." Staffan placed his hand on his shoulder, "believe me, Mich wouldn't even want to meet you if the kiss wasn't really nothing. I've been in that situation, I know how it works.
Leo took a deep breath, "sure... I won't be a chicken," he winced.
Staffan taps Leo's shoulder and arms, "You should chill out, dude. I bet Mich won't punch you right away when he saw you. Think of it like it's your first meeting with him. Don't think about the kiss—but that's the reason you'll be seeing but wash away those thoughts for now and just let everything flow at your own terms, okay? I believe I won't be seeing you with a black eye tomorrow," he giggled.
"Wait, someone's calling," Leo said when he felt his phone buzzed in his pocket. As he scooped his phone out of his pants pocket, Mich's name was flashing into the screen. Staffan cheered for him to answer the call and with a second, he accepted his call.
"Hey, Leo..." Mich started and his tone sounded in a good mood.
"Mich," Leo uttered. "Are you here?"
"Yes, are you out of your class now? Can I pick you up now?" He queried.
"Yeah, I'm already heading out. Where should I meet you?"
"At the arch I guess, yeah I'll meet you there. Are you with someone right now?"
"I'm with Staffan but he's already heading back home. Where are we going today?" Leo asked.
"I don't know, we're just gonna talk right? Or do you wish to go to Empire State building now?"
"Oh, I wish," Leo consoled. "But anyway, that's not the point."
"Sure, see you, I'll be there in five," Mich said and ended the call.
Leo faces Staffan and took a deep breath and closes his eyes as the nerves already killing him inside. "Don't be scared, Leo. Just like what I said, go for it. Is he here?"
"He's going to pick me up in the arch... I want you to come with me."
"And why?" Staffan raises his brow and Leo just bit his lower lip. "Okay, fine. Let's go there now." Staffan took his hand and they hurriedly run into the arch where Mich will meet Leo.
It didn't take them long when they reach the arch and Staffan notices how Leo looks so nervous about meeting Mich. He holds his hand to ease the tension he's cracking inside. Not that long when a familiar car from Leo stops in front of them and when the person slides down the window, he saw Mich driving the car.
"He's here..." Leo whispered.
"Now go, talk to him. Be with him." As Staffan pushed him to go to Mich's car. He bid his goodbye and watched Leo get inside the car and wave at him when the car drives away.
Leo remained quiet in his seat. He doesn't know where to star, he couldn't even look at him in the eye. This is the first time they saw each other again after Mich leaving their dorm room without a word. Mich was also quiet driving, both of them are just trying to take it all easy and putting the tension down between them. Leo was just hoping they could talk it all about over the phone that's why he wasn't ready to meet him even though he has few days to prepare himself.
"I'm—" they both said at the same time and it fell really awkward.
"You should go first," Mich said.
Bowing his head, "I'm sorry for disturbing you. It's kinda embarrassing that you drive all the way here for me. I mean, you don't have to do that but I'm glad that you're here now and we can sort everything out all at once. I mean, I'm not saying that I don't want to see you again but I know you're busy..."
"No, I'm not busy. We talked about it over the phone," he said. "And please don't say you were bothering me because you're not, okay? It's my choice to drive and see you here so don't take the toll to yourself. And I also wanted to talk to you and I'm glad you called me... and I'm sorry for not messaging you."
"That's fine, you don't need to text me every second of every day. We're not in a—" Leo cut his sentence before he could even say it. It looks like Mich didn't mind what he was about to say so he flew to another topic. "Actually, Staffan suggests that I should call you and have a talk..."
"Oh, so you were talking about me, huh?" he smirked. "What does he know about me?"
"Uh..." Leo mumbled.
"You don't have to say it," he scoffed. "If he told you to call me, that means he knows something. But I saw he was holding your hands earlier, that doesn't mean anything right?"
Leo immediately shakes his head, "No, I mean, that's mean nothing. He was just trying to make me calm down and you don't have to be jealous about it because he's in a relationship. He has a boyfriend back in Sweden so nothing will ever happen. We're just good friends and I don't think he will cheat to his friend..."
"And hey, what did you just say?" Mich creased his forehead. "That I shouldn't be jealous?"
"Oh... did I say that?" Leo bit his lower lip. "I'm sorry."
"Eh, that's fine," he smirked. "And why does he need to make you calm? Are you nervous about meeting me?"
"Honestly," Leo looked at him. "Yeah... because... I don't know what to do."
A moment later, Mich parked his car and he removed his seatbelt, settled on his seat to face Leo. Leo wondered what's happening so he tried not to move and keep his head bow. He wants to see his face but he can't look at him while he's staring at him. Mich reaches for Leo's chin and raise his head up and shifted to his direction.
"Look me in the eye," he demanded and while Leo struggled to do it. Mich searches for Leo's eyes until they locked in. "Why are you nervous to see me again? You don't have to be and I'm sorry if I make you feel something that it's your fault but no. I've also thought about it, you shouldn't deal with it alone that's why I decided to talk with you personally and not just on a phone call... so do you want to know about the kiss, right?"
Leo nodded, "yeah..."
"I don't want you to get weird or anything, but I just want you to know that I like you."
"Huh?" with all confusion sets in, Leo doesn't know how to react. "Y-You like..."
"Yeah," with confidence, smiled with his answer. "I know we just knew each other and it's kinda weird to start with that but I'm fond of you, Leo. And I know you're not like any others, and you make me feel something that I don't understand too. How do you do that? Why am I so interested in you?"
"But—but you left without a word two weeks ago," Leo wondered.
"Yeah, I'm sorry to do that. I just had to leave early I got a call from my parents if I'm able to get back that day and I did. Did the kiss make you uncomfortable, Leo? I'm sorry to do that to you. I know I shouldn't have done that—" but before Mich could even finish his sentence, Mich removes his seatbelt and leaned closer to him and locked their lips with a kiss. They were both shocked at the sudden moment, Leo pulled himself away from Mich.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, looking away from the guy he just kissed.
Mich chuckles, "so you like me too?"
Leo tried not to smile but he couldn't handle it, he looked at him and nodded willingly. "Yeah... you intimidated me when we met for the first time and it all just wear down when we hang out together. I have these feelings for you and I don't know how to work on it because I know you won't look at me the same way..."
"But I did, Leo." Mich smiled and held his hand. But Leo slowly pulls his hand from him. "Oh... what's wrong now? I thought it's clear now? What's going on your mind, please tell me... I don't want to feel so bad for making you feel this way. Please, Leo... what is it?"
"You're in the military right? It's against the law right?" Leo questioned.
"Is it against to like you?" Mich said. "No, Leo."
"Are you gay? You can't be gay, right? You're in the military, they don't condone this behavior. Something might happen to you if they found out about it. You know what I mean, Mich."
"Yeah," he sighed. "I know the restrictions and all but that doesn't mean I can't go out with me, kiss you, and love you."
"This just feels so wrong," Leo wearily said. "I feel like I'm putting you on a rough situation where in the first place you shouldn't have. I don't want you to risk everything for me, I don't want to put you in harm. I can't do that to you. And I think, it is the best way if we could remain like this, friends..."
"Leo, listen," Mich said and he holds his head to look right straight into his eyes. "I know the risks and I'm the one who put you here in the situation. Yeah, you might've got some feelings for me but I'm the one who took the first action and I'm not sorry for it. I just want you to know that I will risk everything for you, even though we just met. I want to make you feel special so don't put this on yourself alone. And if any case, do you want me to drop myself out of the military?"
Leo immediately shakes his head, disagreeing with his decision. "No, you don't have to do that for me. That's your job and I don't want you to lose it because of me. And I understand what you're saying... I can't make you risk it for me."
"Then what do you want me to do?"
He shrugged off his shoulder, "I don't know... I have no idea how this will go."
"Then let me handle this, Leo. You don't have to worry about it, we can keep it discreetly if that's what you want."
"Okay..." he sighed. "Are you really sure of this, Mich? Do you really like me?"
"Do I have to prove it again?" he smirks, and he leaned closer to Leo and kiss him on his lips. Leo blushed right after. "Was that enough to say that I'm serious about this—about us? I know you're not like any other that's why I want to be my mine."
"Oh... really?"
"Yeah," Mich chuckles. "So, where do you want to now?"
"Empire State Building?" Leo suggested.
"We'll see," Mich smiled. "Put your seatbelt back on, we'll be there right away."
Leo didn't prepare for the outcome. The thing that bothers him earlier washed away when they kissed but there's always gonna be something he's not sure of but for now, he's happy how it went. He missed Mich so much, he's happy that he got to be with him today and he's not sure until when it will last.
But what he's sure of, he's in love with the military man.