A/N:Incorrect quotes with Sevy, the Batboys and the TMC! I thought it'd be super fun to do this, and I hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Lmk if you wanna see more of these!
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Christopher: Why does everyone assume the worst from me?
Morgan, a few feet away: It saves time.
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Damian: I may be short, but you're still beneath me.
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Dick, playing twenty questions: What's the worst thing you did when you were drunk?
Jason: I don't need alcohol to make bad decisions
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Sevy, freaking out: WHY IS THERE BLOOD EVERYWHERE?!
Briar, nonchalantly eating a brownie while covered in the most blood: I may have aggressively poked someone
Sevy having an aneurysm: SPOFKGSPDFJG WITH WHAT EXACTLY?
Briar: ...... a knife
Sevy: YOU STABBED SOMEONE?!
Briar: I thought I clarified at the beginning that I aggressively poked them with it.
*Andre walks past in the background with a kitchen knife in his stomach*: Hey Sev! *proceeds to pass out*
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Bruce, getting a phone call from an unknown number : Hello?
Kidnapper: We have your daughter. You'll never see her again if you don't pay us 3 million dollars.
Bruce, confused AF: Huh? They're all in front of me right now.
*Sevy, Steph, Babs, Cass, Morgan, Briar and Selma all eating Chipotle around a table*
Kidnapper: The red head?
Bruce: I got two of those, you gotta specify.
Kidnapper: White streak in hair, cursing continuously?
Bruce: Oh, Sevy? Weird, she's right in front of me eating a giant burrito bowl...
Kidnapper, yelling at the others,distant: Sh*t! She got out!
Bruce:*cuts the line, swivels slowly around to face the girls* Sevy?
Sevy: *mouth full of Chipotle* mmph?
Bruce: *deathly quiet* Were you kidnapped?
Sevy: *snaps fingers* That's what I forgot to tell you! Silly me!
Bruce, slowly descending into a panic attack:.... WHY WOULD YOU FORGET THAT?!
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Selma: Nothing is free.
Andre: Air is free.
Jean-Pierre: Love is free.
Morgan: Friendship is free.
Christopher: Sleep is free.
Briar: Everything is free if you take it without asking.
Sevy, walks by, snatches Briar's wallet:Mine now, b*tch.
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Jason, standing next to Sevy: How come everybody gets so hot and bothered when we have fun together?
Bruce: When you two have fun together, people die.
Sevy:Okay fine, fair point.
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*TMC Mission debriefing*
Sevy: Alright, we're gonna have to distract the guards. Any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?
Dick: *busts in outta nowhere*
Dick: MY TIME HAS COME.
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Damian: I hate you with every inch of my body and soul.
Tim: That's not a lot of inches....
Damian: WHaT DId yOu JuSt SaY?!
Jason: Nice knowing you, Timbo.
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Dick: Have you ever been yelled at by Sevy before?
Wally, crossing his arms: I'm not scared of her.
Dick, ticking off a tally on his clipboard:So that's a no.
*Arthur having war-like flashbacks in the corner*
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Sevy: I lost 23 pounds in one night.
Barbara: Omg, what's your secret?
Sevy: I had my arm sawed off.
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Damian: I forgot Titus' ball. There's nothing for him to play fetch with.
Sevy: *casually rips off her arm*
Sevy: Titus, fetch!
*throws arm across the Manor*
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Superman following Batman, concerned af: We have a torture chamber? thats not very humane...
Batman dragging along a prisoner: He will beg us to let him tell us everything after spending some time in there, and that is a guarantee. He'll wish he was never born.
*Batman throws him into seemingly empty room*
Superman: What's the torture part of it?
*lights flick on to reveal Christopher and Andre wearing nothing but boxers and sombreros, holding guitars and singing at the top of their lungs*
Superman: *strained voice* I can hear them from out here, they sound great!
Batman: No they don't
Superman: *almost in tears* no they don't please take me away from here
*prisoner curled up in corner, crying*
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Sevy: Are you a cuddler?
Damian: I AM A MACHINE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTI-
*Sevy starts to leave*
Damian: Yes I'm a cuddler. Come back RIGHT THIS INSTANT!
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Christopher: When I was born, God probably was like "uwu so cute and pure!"
Briar, from across the room: When you were born, Satan was like "ooh, competition!"
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Jason: Hey, do you think I can fit thirteen marshmallows into my mouth?
Tim: You honestly are a hazard to society.
Damian: And a coward. Do twenty.
(EXTRA BELOW)
Sevy: I can do twenty four.
DIck: yeah right, no way!
Sevy: You want proof? Morgan had to do the Heimlich on me for like five minut- wait imma call her and prove it to ya. *calls Morgan* Yo Morgano, tell my brothers about the time I choked on twenty four marshmallows!
Morgan: *traumatized* ...sweet baby Jesus I was hoping I'd never have to relive that again...
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REACTIONS TO BEING STABBED- TMC EDITION-
Briar: *yanks out knife, ignoring all post-stab procedures, grinning like a toddler* YOUR TURN!
Selma: *ACTIVATE INSTANT KILL*
Christopher: I can hereby confirm that I am not cake.
Morgan: Well, isn't that convenient?
Andre: Aight, well f*ck me then.
Jean-Pierre: *rapid french cursing*
Sevy:...... y'all want this back?
Sevy pt 2: Damian's gonna kill me but imma kill you first for good measure
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Bruce: Did you eat all the powdered donuts?
Sevy: .....no.
Bruce: What's that on your pants, then?
Sevy: ...That's cocaine...
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Timmy: Who programmed my TAHRIS to say 'and that's the tea' everytime I say something?
Sevy, not looking up from her phone: Briar did.
Briar: And that's the tea, sis.
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Dick: *whimpering*
Sevy: What happened?
Dick: Nothing, I-
Sevy:Who did this to you?
Dick: Please, just-
Sevy: I promise not to get mad.
Dick:....I stubbed my toe on the door.
Sevy: *with a chainsaw* Which f*cking door?
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Bruce: SEVY WHAT THE HELL?!
Sevy: Oh, so only roosters are allowed to start the day with screaming?!
Bruce: YES.
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Sevy: *does something dangerous and gets injured*
Damian: After we lovingly nurse you back to health, I'm going to kill you.
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Sevy: What's with the long face?
Jason: I can't find Dick. He got lost in the crowd.
Sevy: I got this. *inhale* TELL ME WHY-
Dick in the distance: AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE!
Sevy: TELL ME WHY!
Dick: *voice getting closer* AIN'T NOTHING BUT A MISTAKE
Sevy: TELL ME WHY!
Dick: I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY *Dick pops up next to Sevy and Jason*
Sevy and Dick: I WANT IT THAT WAY!
Jason: ....that was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
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Batman: The door's locked.
Sevy: Ah, locks are my specialty.
*smashes window*
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I'm just imagining Sevy like randomly knowing fifty thousand people on the street and speaking to them in different languages because she's seen them on missions before and her family's like wtf
"Hey Marseilles! What up bro?"
"Assalamu-alaikum, Maryam!"
"Ally! A barátom! Hogy van a férj?"
Or something like that would be so fun to write :)
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Bruce at a Justice League Meeting: So that's how we should infiltrate the base.
*sound of chips crunching*
Bruce: Barry, is that you?
*Barry throws hands up, no chips*
*ceiling breaks, entire TMC crew falls to the ground*
* Christopher holding a bag of chips*
Sevy: Oh hey dad. *obnoxious grin*
Bruce: What the hell were you doing in the ceiling?
Sevy:.....duct cleaning?
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That's it for now! If you guys want more incorrect quotes, just comment about them below! If you've got some quotes you think would be rad for the TMC or Batfam, i guess you can send them to me!
Thanks for reading and thanks for all your love and support! ILY all!
-JumpBox13