PROMPT: Write a poem about your zodiac sign.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
Do you know who I am?
The name is
Golden Ram.
"How many karats, how many grams?"
you ask.
Well check'em and bask, fam!
These horns are real, not a scam.
See, I'm no sacrifical lamb, so
don't disrespect, call me Madame.
Still don't know who I am?
Well, here, I'll draw you a diagram:
Mesarthim, Hamal and Sheratan,
my star crew, 'cause I only jam
with the best, it's true.
Second smallest, but second to none!
First to greet the planets and the sun.
Run to catch me, I'm clearest in the Fall.
I'm nearest to my dearest, so just recall
my seven sisters, Plediades, count'em all.
Got that? Good.
I'm sorry, what's that?
Still doubt my glory?
Then dust off those old books
and let me tell you the story
of Helle and Phrixus.
Born to royalty, a sister and brother
who lost their mother,
soon replaced by another,
who made them suffer
(why is it always the stepmother?).
But the good God Hermes took pity
and fashioned ME
to carry'em over the sea
to safety.
But, oh, what tragedy!
Helle was clumsy and lost her grip,
only to slip and sink
into the deep blue, like a lost ship.
Only Phrixus survived that trip.
The boy was shook, had a massive fit.
So for sacrifice, my throat was slit
(what a prick).
But, hey, look, I'm at peace
'cause now I'm the
Golden Fleece!
Yea, you heard me right.
So, come, the stars are bright.
Lower those sails and tie those knots.
'Cause here come Jason and the Argonauts!
You want my wool, come get it, fool!
If you seek the crown and the right to rule
then face the dragon, but keep your cool
'cause fire burns hot in that great big maw.
No escaping those sharp claws.
But here comes Medea with a great idea;
a magic ace with a pretty face, a royal witch
bewitched by a heroic prince,
ready to help out her love in a pinch.
She put the dragon to sleep
(how sweet)
and took my fleece!
(how bittersweet)
What about Jason? Well...
He was grateful, sure, and fateful
for a time.
But a hero's heart changes on a dime
and soon he found another to call "mine".
Medea was furious and cursed the swine.
Ended her own bloodline and
left a trail of poison and death behind
for Jason to find.
(retribution is like fine wine, I think
and always tastes divine)
So there you have it, my story
(minus the gory details).
Now you understand my glory
and what my name entails.
I may be small, but I always slam.
In a test of patience, I flunk the exam.
Gentleness is not in my program.
I don't clam up, I speak up!
So fess up or shut up,
don't trip me up,
'cause I'm on a quest, the eternal test!
No time to rest, always stressed,
but that's what it takes to be the best.
This is the weight that one carries
when one is an Aries.
To never forget the glorious wreck I am.
The one and only,
Golden Ram.