Sinulit naming dalawa ang nalalabing linggo ni Travis sa Zambales, kasi, kung pipilitin niyang manatili rito ay hindi talaga ako papayag at mag-aaway kami. I don't like him, turning his back on his life before he even met me. I don't like the burden I've always felt because of that.
A week has passed and I'm glad that Travis didn't change his treatment towards me after deciding on labelling our relationship.
Palagi niya akong sinusundo sa bahay para ihatid sa trabaho, at kapag tapos naman na ang trabaho ay lagi niya rin akong sinusundo, and then we'll date.
"I want to walk by the beach with you," he said as he started driving.
Muntik na akong masamid dahil naalala ko si Gian doon bigla, but it's rude, so, I erased the thought.
"Saan?" tanong ko.
"Kahit saan. Ang importante naman ay kasama ka," he said. I laughed because it's a corny line but it did make my heart flutter. "I'm serious, don't laugh."
"Okay, then," I stopped myself from laughing. "Kahit sa malapit na lang so you can bring me home."
Tumango siya. "Right. Para din masulit kita," he looked at me and winked. Inirapan ko lang siya.
Itinuro ko sa kan'ya ang daan sa malapit na beach resort dito sa Olongapo nang hindi na kami lumayo. Dumaan muna kami sandali sa mall para bumili ng mas kumportableng damit, at pagkatapos ay dumiretso na sa resort.
Kumuha siya ng isang room na for eight hours stay dahil balak niyang sulitin ang curfew kong 11:00 PM. Puwede namang cottage na lang.
Nagbihis kami ng damit na binili namin na pang-beach. Hindi naman kami talaga maliligo, pero, for emergency, at least may pampalit din, 'di ba? I wore a red bohemian chiffon dress na above the knee ang haba sa harap at lampas tuhod naman sa likod. Off-shoulder ulit, since I don't really like complete sleeveless clothes or spaghetti straps.
Sobrang payat ko na para sa ganoong damit. I don't find it comfortable, especially when people looked at me like they are judging me.
"Let's go," he said.
He's wearing a red shirt and black trunks. Pareho kaming naka-tsinelas ngayon. Lahat ng suot naming dalawa ay siya ang nagbabayad. He just won't let me pay for anything. Wala pa yata akong nagastos sa kan'ya kahit piso.
Nang makalabas ng hotel ay hinawakan niyang muli ang kamay ko at naglakad na sa gilid ng dagat, pinanonood ang paglubog ng araw.
"Tamang-tama pala ang pagpunta natin dito, eh," sabi ko habang inaayos ang kamay namin tulad ng ginagawa niya palagi.
He chuckled as he raised our holding hands and kissed my hand. "Any time is perfect," he smiled.
Ipinatong ko ang ulo ko sa balikat niya at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. Naglalakad-lakad din kami sa tinatamaan ng alon ang paa namin, at nakakatuwa na nararanasan ko ulit mag-enjoy nang ganito kasama siya.
We took photos together. May solo ko, solo niya, tapos ay ang selfie naming magkasama na madalas ay siya naman ang front. Minsan ay pinagpo-front niya ako pero nahihiya ako. Pero pinagbibigyan ko na lang din.
Nagpapa-picture din siya sa ibang turista na malapit sa amin para daw marami siyang ipo-post sa social media accounts niya.
Ako nga ay hindi nagpo-post ng tungkol sa aming dalawa, eh.
Nasa lounger kami nakahiga nang magkatabi ngayong madilim na talaga, tinitingnan ang mga picture naming dalawa. Nakita ko ang isang stolen ko na ang pangit lalo! Tumatakbo ako sa part kung saan tumatama ang alon at nakatawa pa!
"Ang pangit ko d'yan!" sabi ko tsaka humagalpak ng tawa. "Akin na 'yan!"
"Ayaw!" he said, laughing.
Inilayo niya sa akin ang cellphone nang sinubukan kong kuhanin. "Akin na sabi!"
Tawa lang kami nang tawa hanggang sa sumuko na ako.
"Ang pangit pangit! Ba't ba kahilig sa stolen!" reklamo ko.
"Why? You look so happy there."
"Ang pangit ko namang maging masaya," I said.
He kissed my lips right after I said that. "I said, don't talk bad things about my girlfriend."
"Who's your girlfriend?" kunwari ay masungit kong tanong.
"The person you always call ugly," he scoffed. "My girlfriend's not ugly. She's very, very pretty."
Umirap ako sa kan'ya. "Wala kang taste. Ang pangit ng girlfriend mo."
"Tss," he smirked. "She's very pretty. I wish you can see that."
I stopped myself from smiling.
"Anyway, balita ko, guwapo raw ang boyfriend mo?" biglang tanong niya na nagpatawa sa akin.
"Sinong nagsabi?" kunwari ay gulat kong tanong.
"I saw you two kissing," lalo akong tumawa. "Well, sabi ng boyfriend mo, good kisser ka raw."
Pinaghahampas ko siya sa katawan niya sa sobrang inis dahil ang dami daming alam, isinisingit pa 'yon!
"Oo, guwapo ang boyfriend ko. Sobrang guwapo!" sabi ko nang nagyayabang. "I hope your girlfriend is as beautiful as my boyfriend."
He shifted from his place and faced me. He cupped my face, brushing his thumb on my cheek. "My girlfriend is the prettiest. She just doesn't see it. She doesn't even know her worth. Please tell my girlfriend to know that she's way more beautiful than what she sees in mirror. And I really hope she'll find her worth soon."
I smiled as I nodded. Ipinatong ko ang palad ko sa mukha niya. I slightly caressed my thumb on his cheek, like what he's doing. "I'll tell your girlfriend to stop being so pessimistic."
He smiled before pulling the back of my head and claimed my lips. I wrapped my arms around his nape as I closed my eyes and kissed him back. I felt his hands travelled to my back as he pulled me closer to him. After few seconds, he broke the kiss and planted one on my nose.
"I love you."
I smiled as I hugged him.
"I wish you'll know what you really feel for me too," he said as he hugged me back. "Because I know that you do too."
I smiled as I hugged him tighter.
I think I know now... I think I know...
We ate our dinner on a restaurant, and after that, we walked holding hands by the beach. Hindi pa rin siya tapos sa pagkuha ng picture kaya naman ang dami-dami na naming picture sa parehong cellphone namin.
Nang lumamig na at giniginaw na talaga ako ay pumasok na kami sa kuwarto namin, at nagpahinga. Habang tinitingnan ko ang mga picture namin ay nakita ko siyang binuksan ang mini ref sa gilid.
I suddenly saw the video of him on my camera roll, happily making the tiger eat the raw chicken. I trimmed it and posted it in my IG story with a text such a baby.
"Hey, there's a beer, oh?" sabi niya.
Lumingon ako at nakitang may hawak siyang dalawang bote ng beer. Iniabot niya sa akin ang isa.
"Thanks."
Naupo siya sa sahig, sa gilid ng kama at sumandal doon habang nagsi-cellphone. Naupo ako sa tabi niya. Nakita kong pinanonood niya ang IG story ko na video niya noong nasa Subic kami. Tawa siya nang tawa sa itsura niya.
"Aminin mo na, na guwapo ako," he said.
Ininom ko ang beer. "Hindi mo ba alam? Sabi ko sa 'yo kanina, guwapo ang boyfriend ko."
Nakita ko siyang namula bago tumawa. Ilang sandali pa ay ni-hold niya ang video at lumingon sa akin.
"I am baby?"
I laughed. "I mean, you're such a cute kid there! That's what I mean!"
Umiling siya nang nakangisi. "I'm baby," humagalpak ako ng tawa dahil doon. "And you're my baby."
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin habang pinipigilan ang tawa. "Gian and I's endearment before was baby. Is that okay?" I asked.
May issue siya kay Gian, I know. Minsan ay ino-open niya sa akin, tinatanong kung nag-uusap pa kami. Siyempre, hindi na. Binura nga niya ang number ni Gian sa akin at in-unfollow pa sa lahat ng account ko. Nakita niya rin naman ang last conversation namin, at 'yun ay noong huling beses pa kaming nag-usap.
He smiled. "Oo naman. Ang importante, ako na ang boyfriend mo ngayon," he smiled as he put his arms around me.
"Thank you. You know that it's you now, right?" I kissed his cheek. "It's you now."
Lalo siyang pumula nang ginawa koi yon. Natawa ako. "Alam ko naman 'yun," he sighed. "I remembered something."
Napakunot ako ng noo. "What?" I asked.
"The game," he smirked.
Ako naman ngayon ang namula dahil sa sinabi niyang iyon. 'Yun kasi ang gabing naghalikan kami! Damn... kahit na madalas naman kami mag-kiss ngayon, kapag naaalala ko iyon ay nahihiya ako.
"A-Ahh..." I laughed awkwardly.
"That's when I prove that your lips are not just small and thin; they are small, thin, but terrible." He laughed.
Tinulak ko siya palayo sa akin nang dahil doon. "Tumigil ka," I said. He laughed.
"But thanks to that game, I figured what I really feel about you," he smiled at me.
And then I remembered something too. "Teka, ano pala 'yung laman nung bote na isinabit ko sa door knob mo bago umalis? Nakita kong iniwan mo 'yun sa Camp John Hay, eh."
Nag-iwas siya ng tingin nang in-open ko ang topic na 'yon, bago lumagok sa beer. "It was a love letter for her," he laughed. "Pero itinapon ko na iyon noong umalis ka."
Love letter...
I used to have those love letters with my ex. Siguro ay hindi na lang talaga uso 'yon ngayon. I suddenly feel so envy with that. Buti pa ang ex niya binibigyan niya ng love letter.
"Hey," he said. "It was just nothing now. It was you now...since in Baguio, it was you already."
I looked at him and smiled. "It's okay. Iniisip ko lang 'yung huling beses na nakatanggap ako ng love letter," I chuckled. "Pero 'wag kang mag-alala, wala akong problema sa sinabi mo."
Bahagya siyang ngumiti. "It was our third year anniversary the day I found out about her cheating, kaya may ganoon. I'm sorry that you had to see that."
Three years...
Anong laban ko ro'n? Kung kailan lang naman ako nakilala.
I pursed my lips and smiled. "Ang tagal niyo rin pala," I drank my beer before I continued talking. "How could you move on from that easily...that you realized that you love me just three weeks after your breakup?"
"Mary..." he sighed.
"Nagtatanong lang ako," I chuckled. "It's okay if you won't answer. I understand."
Hindi kaagad siya sumagot. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin nang hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at pinagsalikop ang mga daliri namin.
"I have a hunch that she's cheating months before I finally found out. Lagi lang siyang nakakalusot. But that makes the relationship we had really, really shaky."
Tumango ako nang ilang ulit bago muling ininom ang natitirang beer sa bote ko.
"A shaky relationship doesn't mean you fell out of love too, the way she did," I smiled at him. "So...what?"
"What?"
"What do you really feel in Baguio? For me?"
He sighed. "I am serious that I really do love you since then. Why can't you believe me?"
Nangilid ang mga luha ko sa hindi ko maipaliwanag na dahilan. "Hindi ko alam. Ang hirap lang. Parang...ang bilis."
"That was almost a month after our breakup, Mary. Wala rin sa tagal 'yon," he sighed as he shifted from his seat, completely facing me. "Never have I ever told you lies about what I really feel. When I told you that I love you since we were alone in Baguio, I really do. I really love you from those days."
Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. Muli ay nagbuntonghininga siya.
"I was following you all day without your knowledge, and then I didn't realize yet that I was getting to know more about you... that you love the smell of books, that you love coffee so much, you love walking in a park with cold winds. You like buying things for your family and friends, and you like things that makes you spend less on money."
Napaawang ang bibig ko matapos niyang sabihin ang lahat ng 'yon.
"I even found out the clothes you like and don't like to wear, Mary. You don't like to use girly things but you like looking at them. I saw you, and I observed you way before I even approached you. And I throw the necklace there because I know..." he sighed as I looked at him holding his left chest. "I know that there's something here whenever I am near you. Something I never felt with my ex-girlfriend."
Yumuko ako at hinayaang tumulo ang mga luha ko.
"I'm sorry... I didn't know you were there..." I said.
He sighed. "I didn't let you know because I don't want you to freak out and think bad things about me..."
"All along..." I sobbed. "You know things about me, except for my personal information," I looked at him. He nodded. "I'm sorry, I couldn't do it for you before."
He sighed, looking so hurt right now. Binitiwan niya ang kamay ko at pinunasan ang mga luha ko.
"Shh, don't cry."
I smiled as I nodded.
"Travis..."
"Hmm..."
"Never have I ever...been treated so appreciated before," I said. He smiled. "Never have I ever felt this way before too..."
Ngumiti siya at tumango.
"Never will I ever... love someone else the way I love you," he said, before leaning forward, claiming my lips.
"Never will I ever love someone else that is not you," he said in between out kisses.
He gently pushed me to the floor, kissing me more passionately as I kissed back with the same way and same energy he gave me. I felt his tongue roam around inside my mouth that made me moan a little.
After a while, his lips travelled to my neck, and I felt so, so ashamed for moaning while letting him give me a territorial mark.
When he's done, he claimed my lips again as he carried me to bed, before breaking the kiss.
"Never will I ever...kiss someone else's lips...when I have the best kisser in the world."
I laughed as slapped his chest. Nahiga siya sa tabi ko at niyakap ako.
"Ahhh," he sighed. "My baby loves me too, I know."
I smiled. "How did you know?"
He shrugged while hugging me. "I just know. You will feel it when someone feels something for you."
Napangiti ako. "I'm not...sure..."
He laughed as he kissed my temple. "You can have all the time in the world, making sure about how you really feel. Basta sa akin ka na ngayon, at alam ko na sa sarili kong mahal mo rin ako, Mary. That's enough for me, for now."
Tumango ako at hinigpitan ang yakap sa kan'ya.
10:30 PM nang bumangon kami para magbihis ng damit namin kanina, tsaka nag-check out sa resort. Pagkatapos no'n ay inihatid niya ako sa bahay namin.
I kissed him before bidding my good bye.
"Ingat sa pagdi-drive," I said as I waved my hands at him.
Tumango lang siya at kumaway sa akin pabalik, bago ako tuluyang lumabas ng sasakyan niya. Nang pumasok na ako sa gate ay saka pa lang siya nag-drive paalis.