You tossed and turned around the bed, unable to lull yourself to sleep. Every once in a while, you find yourself drifting off but the moment you drift farther into the realm of dreams, you suddenly find yourself wide awake.
Knowing you wouldn't be able to sleep at all, you decided to get off. You threw your legs off to the edge of the bed as you sat for a moment, looking around. Your room that was once brightly decorated with your belongings is now empty, just as much as the feeling that pooled around your chest. It feels as if you just moved into this place but what's happening is the opposite: you are about to leave.
Your sad eyes gazed into a number of storage chests that lay on the floor. In there were the things that used to give life to this room. This is the queen's chamber, actually, but since a king is yet to rule your nation, your sister uses the past king's chamber for herself.
Standing up, you wrapped the sheets around your body to keep you warm. Slowly, you stepped out of your room, brushing aside the curtain that hang in your doorway. You took your time to walk down the long corridor.
It was dark just as always for the sun's light never reached the interior of your home. Yet today, it seemed much darker. Not because the sun is yet to rise, but because of the gloomy atmosphere that filled the entirety of the edifice.
Guided by the torches, you slowly made your way through the narrow corridor. Your eyes shift sidewards to look at the sacred carvings on the walls. You placed your fingers upon the wall and gently dragged them over the writings as you walked, savoring the last moments you get to touch them.
Written on these walls were chants and rituals dedicated to magecraft. Most of all, the mysteries of the divine children. It is believed that the very first divine child built this place not long ago. It wasn't just a home but also a massive chamber that holds the secrets of the royal family chosen by the goddess and carriers of the divine blood.
What they learned about their powers, they wrote them on the wall. The purpose of having built this edifice is for the future of the family: to further enhance the great powers that a divine child possesses because the previous ones believed that one day, the perfect divine child would be born; someone that can protect not just this kingdom but the whole world.
The first child of the gods believed that the power blessed upon the divine children would one day be perfected thus, he dedicated his life into writing everything he discovers about his power onto these walls. So did the divine children that followed after him.
It dawned on you that maybe you will never be able to write on this walls due to the fact that you are to live in another nation, and the fact that you have little to no control of the power that was passed to you. You suddenly felt useless as if unworthy of being born into the royal family, much more inheriting the gifts of divinity.
To be able to write on this wall and contribute to the knowledge of the divine children is a mark that you have existed; a proof that you were of help to this era, and that the gods weren't wrong in choosing you.
You felt ashamed. Your palm clenched into a fist as you leaned against the wall. You felt pathetic. You were but a display, a shrine to be worshipped. What are the previous divine children saying as they look upon you from the underworld? Were their efforts to further enhance the gift all for nothing because no matter how much you try, you couldn't control it?
"(Y/n)?" A gentle voice called out. You turned to see Ajamu standing nearby. You immediately stood straight, regaining your composure.
"A-Ajamu!" You exclaimed. "The sun is yet to rise. What keeps you up at this hour?"
Ajamu walked closer. "I should ask the same to you," he said. As he stood before you, he held his hands out and held your cheeks, wiping away the tears with his thumb. You didn't even know you were crying. Perhaps your eyes have gone numb from the earlier tears you've shed.
"You have a long journey ahead," he said. "You should be at rest." He pulled his hands away from your face and stared at you with tender eyes.
Instead of replying to his statement, "Can you accompany me?" you asked. "I would like to stroll around the kingdom once more."
"It'll be my pleasure," Ajamu replied. He turned to offer you his arm. Gently, you tucked your hand to the crook of his arm, accepting his offer. You soon walked out of the long corridor into the main hall, and outside. The cold breeze of twilight blew past you as if bidding farewell.
You walked down the flight of stairs. You savored every step for this is the last time you'll step upon them. Soon, you find yourself walking around. The streets were dark and empty. Ajamu held a torch in his other hand to light the way.
Everyone was asleep. You wondered how they would react the morning the sun rises, being greeted by the news that the princess will never be seen again. You loved your people. You loved them so much. You loved them more than yourself. That is the sole reason you agreed to Enkidu's offer.
The conversation yesterday came back to your mind. You've been brushing it off, trying not to think about it as much as possible but this time, you allowed yourself to remember.
"So choose, (y/n)," your sister declared. "The fate of the nation is in your hands."
Your hands that were on top of the table clenched into fists, your knuckles turning white. Who is this king? Why would he go to such extents: to use your people against you? How could he have known your weak spot despite not meeting him before?
Your mind was a chaotic flurry as your thought clashed against each other. Marry the king and become Uruk's queen or decline, but declining meant war. You have great soldiers; you have Ajamu. But to go against something like Enkidu? You know they couldn't.
Whoever this man is, it's obvious he isn't human. His powers might even surpass yours. Who knows what he could do to this kingdom and specially to your people. You can't put them to risk. Whatever happens to you when you get to Uruk, you know you can handle, but what will happen to your people when you decline, you don't even want to know.
You glanced at your sister, looking for answers in her eyes. What you saw, instead, was sadness. Or so you thought. "I will ask again," Enkidu said. "Come with me to Uruk and marry the king or... stay and watch your kingdom fall?"
"Your highness, you don't have to!" Ajamu interrupted. "Our forces combined would be able to stand up agains—" It won't.
"Give me a day," you cut in. "Give me tomorrow so I could at least bid them farewell." You turned your head to look at Enkidu.
"You have today. We leave tomorrow at dawn," Enkidu answered. "The king does not like to wait."
You bit your lip at his reply. You haven't met the king yet but you obviously dislike him. This is a matter of political marriage; no love would seep in. "Understood," you replied not wanting to further prolong this conversation.
"Hey, Ajamu?" You asked. The two of you are now standing in front of the massive staircase. The sun is about to rise so you've decided to come back. "Have I..."
"Hmm?" He hummed in response, urging you to continue. "...made the right choice?" You asked. It took a while before he answered. "Only you can find the answer to that, milady."
"I see," you muttered. You removed your hand from his arm and faced him. His eyes were tired and you could've sworn yours look the same. You weren't the onlyone who cried today.
"Take care of my sister and most of all, the people," you said. The next thing you knew, you were embracing Ajamu and you were crying on his chest. He was your knight in shining armor ever since you were little, and up until now that you've both grown through the years. Of all people, he knew you most just like your sister.
His arms wrapped around your waist in a firm but gentle embrace. "Allow me to say this," he said. Your hand found its way into his hair, and you gently caresed it.
"I love you," he said. This time, more tears escaped from your eyes. Your heart hurts for a love that you can't return. You always knew what he felt for you. His love speaks in a different way; it does not need to be loud to be heard. "I'm sorry," you whispered.
"I know," he answered, his arms loosening, pulling away from you. "Don't apologize. You're just being true to yourself." He took a step back, pulling away and letting you go.
You looked into his eyes one moment before you spoke, "My arms aren't ready to hold the weight of your love." You wiped your own tears away before continuing, "I wish you'd let the person who deserve you show you that there is more to you than your words inscribed and written from a broken heart."
You took his hands in yours. "I hope someday, you will be so happy, you'll find yourself realizing there is nothing left to wish for."
"This is goodbye then, isn't it?"
"Until we meet again, I wish you all the best."