June 19, 2012
Malibu, California
[Karsyn]
Fearless, Inc. is officially a legal incorporation in the United States by the State of California! Our paper work came yesterday and Emmileigh immediately faxed everything to the lady in London for her visa. The lady ended up calling her and Emmileigh told her she was over visiting, helping me set up the business.
We finished setting up the office and agreed on setting up the website first, starting out that way.
We ended up decided to name the magazine and website, itself, Fearless. We decided that, like Nick had said when I came up with the idea for the incorporation name, that we were fearless by following the tour, quitting our jobs and leaving our lives. We want the magazine to be the same way.
So I have been busy setting up the web site, while Emmileigh has been learning her new camera gear that came in the mail. Nick has been busy in the studio, writing and working on material with the guys and things have been relatively normal.
The house is finally starting to feel like home. Carter has gotten used to the house and has learned his way around. Chunk actually came over last night to stay and they both slept on my bed with us without causing a fight.
Only thing that sucks is I started my period a few days ago. I knew it was coming this month and thank God it didn't hit me while we were on the cruise. It did make me realize that I need to get a doctor here in California and have a check up now that I'm sexually active again. I need to make sure that bad boy IUD is in place and still working good.
"This camera takes amazing photos," Emmileigh said, sitting across the room at her desk as I leaned against mine, working on a logo for the magazine.
"Uhh..." I moaned as I finally laid my head down on the desk.
"Want me to go get you some Motrin?" Emmileigh asked as I shook my head. "Well at least you can 'work' in your pajamas."
"Thank God, but Nick and I are going over to Kevin's tonight for dinner," I said as Emmileigh stared at me. I lifted my head and looked at her. "I know, Kevin scares me. Those eyebrows."
"Awww, it'll be fine," she said as I sat up, leaning back in my chair and holding my stomach. "I think it means a lot that he's introducing you to Kevin. You know Nick loves Kevin a lot."
"I know," I sighed, standing up from the chair. "I think I'm going to go take a hot shower and hopefully it'll make me feel better. I need to wash my hair before tonight anyway," I said as she nodded.
I walked out of the room and towards the staircase when I saw Chunk walking down slowly. Nick had left him over with me while he went to work with the guys.
"Decided to come downstairs?" I asked Chunk as he looked at me, nodded, and went back to walking downstairs. The dog was smart, I gave him that much.
I reached the top of the stairs and walked into my bedroom, seeing my cell phone on the bed. I picked it up, seeing a text from Nick and opened it up, reading it.
Be home around 5:30. Gonna be at Kev's by 7. Wear a pretty dress. Gotta impress Kevin. ;-)
I sighed, replying back that I would and sat down on the edge of the bed. I reached over, picking up the picture on the table beside my bed of me and Nick that was taken on the first day of the European tour, when he gave the Platinum Tour.
How was I going to impress Kevin Richardson when all I wanted to do was climb back in bed and sleep?
[/Karsyn]
[Emmileigh]
I'd been taking pictures of Carter, Chunk, the ocean, and Karsyn working all day to test out the new camera she had gotten me. It was amazing, and it seriously excited me for this magazine.
But I was still nervous over the whole visa interview. I'd spoken to the lady who interviewed me when I'd faxed over the details for the company and she'd called to confirm with me. I'd told her I was here and I got the vibe like I shouldn't be. It just made me even more nervous.
Karsyn was up getting ready for her big night meeting Mr. Body Beautiful, and I could tell she was a little scared. Kevin was a big deal to Nick, and I kept telling Karsyn to just be herself. Kevin will see how happy she and Nick are, and see how much they love each other.
This is Kevin Freaking Richardson, anyone who makes Nick happy is good in his books.
A tapping on the front door made me look up from the spot I was sitting in on the floor, getting ready to take a picture of Chunk walking towards me. I climbed off the floor with a grunt and walked over to the door, opening it. I smiled when I saw Donnie standing there and snapped a picture of him before stepping back so he could walk in.
"Wow, it's like being greeted by the paparazzi," he joked before kissing me softly.
"Sorry.." I blushed a little. ".. just testing this camera out. It's awesome." I went to look at the picture I'd just taken when Donnie pulled the camera from my hands and turned it on me.
"Let me see. Smile!" He started snapping pictures as I covered my face.
"Donnie noooo!" I stepped backwards and laughed as Donnie followed me.
"Wow, so this is what it feels like to be the paparazzi.. hounding people." He laughed as he followed me around the living room, snapping pictures of me as I laughed and tried to hide from him. "We should take this home and have some fun with it."
I turned around and went to protest when I heard Karsyn's voice.
"That's strictly work use camera only! Anything taken on there gets used in the magazine! Use at your own risk!" She walked into the room and laughed before sitting on the couch.
"Aww damn.. we'll have to buy one of our own then." Donnie lowered the camera, giving me a chance to take it off him and drop down on the couch next to Karsyn.
"These pictures are awful." I started deleting the ones of me as Donnie laughed. "You make a bad pap."
"That's why I prefer to be in front of the camera." He commented before bending down to stroke Carter the cat. I smiled and snapped a picture before turning the camera screen to Karsyn.
"This is captioned Donnie stroking pussy." We both looked at each other and laughed.
[/Emmileigh]
[Karsyn]
It was time.
Emmileigh had helped me curl my hair a little and helped me pick out a simple black, sleeveless dress to wear. I didn't do my make-up too heavy and I felt weird, but Nick insisted I looked great when he came over after changing at his place.
And now as we pulled up at some, really nice house outside of L.A. in the country, I was pretty much shaking in my flats that I had on.
"Why are you so nervous? It's Kevin," Nick said as he cut the car off.
"He scares me."
"Scares you?"
"You guys did this concert once, before 'Never Gone' ever came out and some of the songs had leaked," I said, looking at him. "Well, you guys were performing 'Poster Girl' and I was singing along and Kevin saw me, third row of people maybe, and Kevin gave me the weirdest look. Those eyebrows arched, wondering how the hell I knew the lyrics."
Nick cracked up laughing and I looked away. "He was probably just confused, yet happy that you seemed to like the song." I looked back at him and he smiled. "Come on."
I followed Nick's lead, getting out of the car and as we walked to the front door, the door swung open and a dark blonde boy came running out, jumping in Nick's arm.
"Nick! Dad said you were coming!"
"Hey Mase," Nick said, hugging him before the boy looked at me. "Mason, this is Karsyn. Karsyn, this is Kevin and Kristin's kid Mason." I shook his hand and could tell instantly he was Kevin's kid.
He had the eyebrows, just not as dark.
"Come on, Dad's cooking," Mason said, practically running back into the house.
"Come on," Nick said, taking my hand and walking me into the house. He shut the door behind us when all of a sudden the one and only Kevin Richardson walked out with a cooking apron on. "Kev!"
"Come here, Nicky," Kevin said, hugging Nick tightly before taking a quick look at me. "This must be Karsyn that I've heard so much about," he said as he and Nick backed away from the hug and he walked over to shake my hand. "Nice to finally meet you."
"You too," I smiled nervously. "Nick told you a lot, huh?"
"Oh, I had lunch with Brian yesterday," Kevin said as I felt a lump in my throat. "He told me how you won that big Powerball lottery a few months back."
"Yeah, that's how she ended up going to all the shows on the European tour," Nick chimed in. "Where's Kris?"
"She got called in for a last minute photoshoot, one she couldn't pass up," Kevin smiled. "So it's just us. Hope ya'll like steak."
[/Karsyn]
[Emmileigh]
"So... Karsyn's gone."
I looked up from the floor at Donnie, who was lounging on the couch. "Yea, I know."
"We could have some fun." He wiggled his eyebrows at me, making me chuckle.
"This is Karsyn's house. And I don't have a bed here yet." I stroked Carter, who was laying on my lap purring.
"Who say's we need a bed?"
I shook my head. "Nu uh. No way. Not happening."
"Why not?" Donnie sat up, picking the camera up off the table.
"Because! It won't feel right."
"We can go back to my place then?"
I laughed. "You just want sex, don't you."
"No, I want you."
The flash from the camera made me look up to see him snapping a picture of me. "You can have me later. For now I need to sort all this out." I waved at my laptop, which was sat on the floor in front of me.
"What are you doing?"
"Research. Karsyn wanted me to get some ideas. Plus I figured out some more stuff we'll need. She also needs to contact her lawyer with the business information. I need to get a laywer."
"You can use mine."
I looked up at Donnie. "I'll get one of my own. No offense, but I'm doing this with Karsyn. I know you're supportive, but this is our thing."
Donnie moved down on the floor. "Oh, I know. But if you need a laywer, mine is good. The offer is there." He moved beside me and grabbed my computer. "So, anything I can help you with?"
I looked at Donnie and smiled before nodding.
[/Emmileigh]
[Karsyn]
"So," Kevin said as we sat at his dining room table a little bit later, "Nick and Brian tell me you're a fan. Obviously since you went over to Europe. For how long?"
I finished chewing the steak in my mouth and took a sip of juice that I was drinking. No way in hell was I going to get drunk around Kevin Richardson.
"Since '97 or so, I think," I said as Kevin nodded. "I was still in high school."
"How old are you?"
"I turned 31 last month."
"And your accent, where are you from?"
"North Carolina."
"What did you do before you won the lottery?"
"I worked at Joe Gibbs Racing," I said as his eyes perked up. Uh oh, NASCAR fan?
"Coach Gibbs that used to coach for the Redskins," Kevin said. "That's right, he owns a NASCAR team, doesn't he? So you worked in NASCAR?"
"When we went to Charlotte after the tour was over, her cousin works at the track and I drove a car around the track at 165 miles per hour," Nick said as Kevin looked at him. "I had all the safety stuff on, don't worry."
"Just the thought of you driving that fast, well, it scares the shit out of me," Kevin laughed, causing me to crack up. "So your family is still in North Carolina?"
"Yeah, I moved out here. I bought the house next to Nick actually," I said as Kevin cracked up. "He wanted me out here so badly and we didn't want to rush into living together or anything."
"That's a good decision," Kevin said, taking a sip of his wine. "Nick always rushes into things."
"Kevin..." Nick said as I looked at Nick and back at Kevin. What the hell did that mean? Rushes into things?
"So, met Jane and Bob yet?" Kevin asked as I shook my head. I looked at Nick and saw him look away. He was obviously getting annoyed. "Guess things still aren't going that great, Nick?"
"No, Kev, they're not," he said as I took a bite of my salad, not wanting to say anything.
I guess Jane and Bob really were a sore subject for Nick if he didn't even want to talk about it with Kevin.
[/Karsyn]
[Emmileigh]
"I wonder how Karsyn is getting on?"
We were driving back to Donnie's place after picking up dinner. I'd fed Carter before locking up Karsyn's place and leaving. It was weird being trusted with a key to such an expensive house.
"I'm sure she's getting on fine. Kevin's cool."
"Yea, but it's Kevin he's almost like Nick's dad in some ways."
"Really?" Donnie glanced at me.
"Dude you have no idea."
We were quiet for a moment before Donnie spoke again.
"So, you more a Backstreet fan or a New Kids fan?"
I looked at him and smiled. "Wow, that's a random question. Why?"
"Just curious. You seem to know a lot about Backstreet."
I chuckled. "Well, I've been a Backstreet Boys fan ever since they started."
"And New Kids?"
I looked out the window and smiled to myself. "I wasn't a big fan. My cousin was. She had the dolls and everything. When I got older I got into the old stuff, like Cover Girl and all that.. but I guess it wasn't until your come back that I got pulled in."
"Who's your favourite Backstreet Boy?"
I laughed. "Really? You're asking me? Ok.. well, I won't lie. It was Nick, but.. AJ was always a close second. And my favourite New Kid was always you."
"You're just telling me that to keep me happy." Donnie smiled at me.
"No, I'm serious. I always admired you, Cover Girl is my song, ask Karsyn, she has it as my ringtone for when I call her. I love it. And I've always admired you're acting. I love the whole package basically."
"Now you really are sucking up to me." Donnie teased as he drove.
"No, if I was sucking up to you I'd be like all those whores out there.." I leant back in my seat and watched him.
"Yes, but you're not.. and I'm kidding. I like hearing about why you like me and everything. I mean I know you're a fan. I like that you're a fan."
I smiled. "Was Kim a fan?"
Donnie was silent for a while before sighing. "Not a fan of me being away and stuff, no. She could never get used to the fact that I would be gone for long periods of time. Even when the New Kids broke up and I was doing tv shows and movies."
"But you were together so long."
"I know." Donnie nodded. "but I guess the final straw for her was New Kids reforming. That meant recording, tours and everything. Plus around that time I was reading scripts, including Blue Bloods. I hated the separation because of the kids, but it was a blessing in disguise. I was back with my boys and landed a role in a successful TV show."
I reached over and patted his leg. "Do you miss her?"
"Now? No. Not at all. I did for a while afterwards. Why are you asking me that?" Donnie glanced at me.
"Well.. she's the mother of your children.. and...." I trailed off.
"Yes, she is. And to some extent I will always love her for giving me my boys, but that's it. She's moved on and so have I."
I nodded and looked outside, seeing we were nearing his place. "Have I pissed you off?" I asked softly before turning back to him.
"No.." Donnie answered softly. ".. just confused with all the questions."
"Sorry. I guess I was just curious."
Donnie pulled the car up his driveway before cutting the engine and taking his seat belt off. I thought he was about to get up, but he turned to me instead. "Don't be sorry. I guess you just took me off guard. I asked you questions, was only fair you got to ask me what you wanted."
I nodded and gave him a smile. "Ok. So, what's the plan tonight?"
Donnie grinned. "Me and you."
I laughed. "Is that it?"
"And dinner."
"That's more like it." I said with a chuckle before climbing out the car, leaving him to follow me.
[/Emmileigh]
[Karsyn]
After finishing our dinner, Nick and Kevin went into the kitchen and Kevin asked me to go upstairs to check on Mason who was in his room playing video games. I guess Mason was tired, because when I went to check on him, he was sound asleep in his beanbag chair in front of his television.
I walked down the hall slowly and down the staircase, looking at the photos on the wall. I guess Kristin had always been interested in photography. There were photos on the wall of the guys that I had never seen before.
There was one of Nick and Kevin, from when Nick had to be about 15 or so that I was in love with. They were on a boat and Kevin had his arm wrapped around Nick's shoulders.
I made my way back down the stairs and headed back toward the kitchen when I heard Nick and Kevin's voices and I paused.
"So how much do you really know about this girl?"
"Pretty much everything. Why? What's wrong with her? You always find something wrong with the girls I date."
"Nothing, Nick."
"Yes there is, what?"
"I like her. She's normal, it seems. She seems smart. She reminds me of Kristin weirdly enough."
"So what are you getting at?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're getting at something."
"I see it in your eyes, Nick."
"Hey, I haven't done drugs in a long ass time..."
"I'm not talking about that."
"Then what?"
"You're in love with her."
Then there was a silence. Oh boy, even Kevin could tell it. I didn't know if that was a good sign or not.
"Yeah, so?"
"Never seen you like that before."
"Oh shit, is the fatherly talk coming or something? Practicing for the day Mason brings a girl home? I know about the birds and bees, Kev. You had this talk with me the second day we knew one another."
"You've only known Karsyn a few months."
"So? You always said you knew you were going to marry Kristin after your first date."
"Nick, we've talked about this. I know you want what me and Brian and Howie have. I know you want what your parents never had. I like Karsyn, a lot. She's obviously not using you like some of these girls you've dated have. Just... don't rush it."
"Just because you waited over ten years to marry Kristin doesn't mean I have to."
Oh shit.
I backed away from the door and walked into the living room, sitting down on the sofa. I didn't hear what I just heard. There was no way I just heard that. Nope, not a chance in hell did I just hear that.
[/Karsyn]
[Emmileigh]
"Good god.." I muttered before rolling onto my back, breathing heavy.
"You could say that again." Donnie groaned before laying beside me.
"No more sex. Not today. God damn you're like a machine."
"I am, aren't I?" Donnie said proudly, making me laugh.
"Don't be proud of that shit, my vagina can't take much more."
Donnie cracked up before rolling onto his side to look at me. "You've been hanging around Karsyn too long. You're starting to sound like her."
I giggled. "Shut up..... bitch." I laughed as Donnie kissed me softly before moving off the bed.
"I'll be right back, baby."
I watched him walk out the bedroom naked before sighing softly. Dinner never happened, but.. three hours of intense sex happened instead. I was totally shattered and my body was screaming. Yet.. I probably could go for another round, I just knew I shouldn't.
Donnie had turned me into a nymphomaniac.
I laughed to myself as I heard my phone vibrate on the side. I rolled over, taking the sheet on the bed with me before reaching over for my phone. Straight away I saw text after text from Karsyn, but before I could unlock my phone to read them it started vibrating in my hands.
Unknown Number.
There was only one unknown number that had called me since I'd been out here, and that was the woman from the visa office.
I swallowed hard and slid my finger across the screen to answer the call before putting my phone to my ear.
"Hello?"
"May I speak with Miss Knightly please?"
This was a different person, a guy. I hadn't even seen a guy when having my interview. This made me even more nervous. "This is she."
"Oh, good Morning Miss Knightly, my name is Grant and I'm calling from the American Embassy. It's regarding your Visa application."
I bit my lip as he spoke. "Oh, ok. You need more information?"
"Not at all." The guy said with a cheery voice. "Infact, I'm calling to tell you the results."
I held my breath and closed my eyes, saying a quick prayer before he carried on telling me my fate.
[/Emmileigh]
[Karsyn]
"Damn Kevin cooks a mean steak, I'm so full," Nick said as we pulled up in his driveway a little bit later. "You've been quiet the whole way home," he said, looking at me.
"Cramps," I said as he nodded. "They were killing me earlier today when Em and I were trying to work."
"So, what did you think about Kevin?" he asked as I smiled at him. "He's not as scary as he seems, is he?"
"Not at all," I smiled. "I guess what he thinks of me is important to you?"
"Yeah, Kevin means a lot to me," he said, taking the keys out of the ignition. "The other guys are like my brothers, but Kevin really has been my big brother. Honestly more like a father than my Dad ever really was."
"So, does he approve of me?" I asked as Nick chuckled.
"He likes you," Nick smiled. "He said you remind him of Kristin, which I guess is a good thing," he said as we both got out of the car. "You wanna stay over tonight?"
"I just kind of want to get into bed and curl up with my heating pad on my stomach," I said as Nick walked up to me, pulling me closer to him. I stared up at him and could see exactly what Kevin could see. "It'll be gone in a day or two."
"You want me to stay over and rub your tummy or anything?" he asked as I smiled. "Chunk likes when I rub his tummy when he's ate too much," he said as I cracked up laughing.
"Let's stay at our own places like big boys and girls until this visitor is gone," I said as Nick nodded. "Then it'll be worth it when we do stay with one another. Besides, I think Chunk thinks I'm stealing you away."
"Okay," Nick smiled, leaning over to kiss me on the lips gently, turning it into a deeper kiss. "I'll come over in the morning before I head downtown with the guys."
"Okay," I smiled, kissing him quickly again before turning to walk across the grass and head to my front door. I looked back at him as I walked up to my door, unlocking it and walked in, hitting the security code quickly.
I leaned up against the door and took a deep breath.
One, this period needed to go away... now. Two, why did I have the feeling that Nick was thinking about taking this thing to the next level and had already talked to Kevin about it? Three, what the hell did Brian Littrell tell his cousin about me? Four, why was Carter standing in front of me, staring at me with his little round held tilted?
Could my cat even tell how confused and scared I was?
[/Karsyn]