Everything came back slowly to Rey as her eyes opened to the sight of familiar grey stone. Except it was no longer the smooth and untouched floor of the monastery. Bits of broken rock littered her view as she laid there. The wall several feet in front of her was blown up, a gaping hole was ripped through it. She began to rise, her muscles and head screamed at the movement. Rey rested her weight on an arm that was extended behind her. She winced as her other hand gravitated to the sharp pain that radiated from the side of her skull. Her fingertips were met with dried blood that was caked in her hair. Her hand dropped down to her side, putting the rest of her weight onto it. Rey panned her head, taking in the destroyed building. Walls were covered in scorch marks from blasters while others were completely gone. Corpses laid strewn across the floor of the main corridor. Their bodies, rigid and covered in rubble. Some of the bodies were mangled and bloody, it was a sickening thing to behold.
Her hand dropped from her sore wound, using it to push off the ground. She grimaced at the pain of her muscles screaming at her as she used their strength to pick herself up from the ground. Rey looked down at her clothes, she was covered in dust and dirt. She patted her clothes off before she looked up from herself. It saddened her to see such an ancient, holy place of the Lanai to be desecrated. The dead littered the main floor of the monastery. Sorrow for the death of Resistance fighters panged her heart as she stood there, taking in all the carnage. Among the dead were bodies that were most certainly not Resistance troops. They all wore different styles of clothes, clad in leather, or metal breastplates, no two mysterious corpses looked the same. Some were human, some were Quarren, while others were Twi'leks.
Rey walked forward, stepping over a disfigured body of a Resistance fighter, trying hard not to look into any of their lifeless eyes. She came upon a human body and knelt before it. Their cause of death was quite obvious looking at them. The man's eyes had a faraway look in them. His mouth cemented open. His head sported a blaster wound on his forehead; it burrowed deep into the flesh and bone. Dried blood stuck to the cold flesh, frozen in place where it had poured out from the gaping hole. Her gaze shifted down to the exposed skin of the man's neck. It was branded with black and red ink. The tattoo depicted four circles overlapping each other encased in a hexagon. Rey immediately knew what these people belonged to. They were cutthroats, bounty hunters hired to track down the Resistance.
The young Jedi shot up to her feet, now frantically looking for Leia, her friends, Ben, anyone, but they were not there. Panic now rooted itself deep within her. Had the First Order hired the bounty hunters? Most importantly, the question that blared in the forefront of her mind was, Where is Ben? From what she could see, no Leia, Ben, or her friends laid amongst the dead. Rey closed her eyes, reaching out through the Force, trying to find the bridge that connected her to Ben Solo. She stood there for a moment, trying to push the confusion and worry away from her mind.
Nothing. No semblance of their bond was present. Tears welled up in her eyes, just on the verge of slipping over her waterline. Her worst fear took over her thoughts. He was dead. That was the only explanation for the connection being severed so abruptly. It was just gone. Disappeared into thin air. She couldn't feel him anymore. Ben Solo's heavy presence had vanished; she felt empty and carved out. His absence left her feeling lost, confused, numb. The tears no longer threatened to fall as they began to slip silently from her eyes. The warm moisture fell on her expressionless face. Her chest was a gaping hole where her heart once beat with ferocity. Now it was still and simply broken into pieces. The air in her lungs turned toxic, she choked and heaved for air. As if the weight of her reality hit her, anguished wails escaped her that sounded throughout the corridor.
Rey went limp, landing on her knees before she let herself hit the floor. Her world was cold, devoid of any meaning. All that could be, ripped away from her against her will. She had never experienced a loss like this. So empty in all its glory. Sudden loss. Sudden pain. Sudden numbness. Since the day the Force awoke within her, Ben Solo and Rey were always meant to be together. She wished now that she had not been so stubborn in accepting her fate. Because then she would have spent that time with him instead of fighting him tooth and nail. Her arm rose to her chest as her hand bunched up the material of her shirt. Rey's chest felt as if something was stuck there with a heavy weight. Her sobs couldn't make it better. Beating her chest couldn't dislodge it. Her tears couldn't wash it away.
She was so lost in her grief. It stung, cutting through her as she lay there, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. A piece of her died on the stone floor of the monastery; a part of her that was Ben Solo. If the soul existed, who created it to have the ability to writhe in such sorrow? How could she have been affected by a man that months ago was an enemy? He never smiled or laughed, by all means, he was not a likable man. But Ben was passionate and felt emotion with every fiber of his being; with that Rey knew that she was loved. Now, that was gone. He was gone. How could he leave her all alone like this, so abruptly? Rey spent her life alone, so why did this feel different than before? Her pain was propelled by anger as she wept. It felt familiar and comforting. Something about it made her feel closer to him, but there was nothing to be close to anymore. Her heart panged at that thought. She lifted her hand, balling it into a fist. Rey brought the fist down with ferocity to the hard stone, hitting it with force, over and over again. It didn't hurt, it was numb. She was numb.
"You're such a jerk," Rey cried out to no one. "Why did you have to go out and get yourself killed, huh? You left me... you left me all alone just like everyone else! You of all people understand how that feels!" she screamed at the floor, hitting it again. Her tears burned hot against her skin as they fell.
"What am I supposed to do without you, Ben. Ben... Ben. I'm so lost. What am I going to do now? Why do you have to be dead? Just do one thing for me... don't be dead. Come back to me. Do you know what's funny? I remember that day you took me to Illum, you racked my mind looking for information, I hated you. I hated everything that made you Kylo Ren. I hated you when I watched you kill Han. I hated the rage within you, it scared me. But then, somehow you barged your way in, made me care for you... love you. Then you die, gone, and leave me behind. I hate you, Ben Solo. I hate you!" Rey screamed and cried in vain to no one but the dead to hear.
"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain." her voice dropped to a whisper, almost silent in the still air of the monastery. She knew that talking to him as if Ben Solo was there was moot. She knew he was gone. It was as if saying those words loud helped ease the pain her heart was riddled with.
Her sobs simmered down to whimpers as she continued to relive her memories of him. Memories of when they stood out in the middle of the murderous storm, bearing their pain to each other. The way his plump lips felt on hers. They were warm and soft when they conformed around hers. Or how his skin felt to touch. But none of that mattered now. He was dead and for all, she knew so were all the others. Rey's face contorted into something sinister, angry. She let out a bellow, slamming her fist one last time. Her legs and arms lifted her off the ground. Her hands were balled into tight fists, fingernails bit into her palms. It hurt, but she let the pain fuel her. The pain turned into anger and the anger into rage. A thirsty fire began to consume her from within, feeding off of the hurt, the pain, and the loss. Kylo Ren, renowned for being a deadly force, gave up so quickly. She was furious, how could he get himself killed so easily? And at this point, Rey had nothing else to live for.
Rey walked over the corpses of her comrade and enemy without a second glance towards the cavernous hole just ahead. Hard breaths escaped her as she lifted one leg over the small pile of rocks that separated her from outside. The skies had turned violent again with hard rain and turbulent winds. The grey waters were crashing ferociously against the cliff, shooting sea spray high into the air. She let the chaos in, allowing it to add to the devouring fire within. She took in the planet's wildness in a deep breath as her eyes closed. She searched her mind, her soul, for the place that she never dared touch. The side of her that was infinitely dark and raw with power. The place that scared her. This place was warm and comforting, easy to give into.
The rain fell in brisk droves as Rey's hair clumped together in thick wet sections. Her clothes left with imprints of the water droplets falling all around her. The cold rain could not drown out the fire or calm her seething eyes. She pivoted where she stood to look at what was left of the monastery that was battered and on the verge of collapsing. A scream that came from the depths of her emitted out into the dampening storm. She called on the Dark Side of the Force, willing the lightning to strike the stone building. It was pale blue and crackled as it left her fingertips. The lightning coursed through her body. It felt like every neuron was electrified and simultaneously on fire, but it did not hurt. It felt good. She let the bolts surge through the building, branching out in every direction. It snaked through what was left of the corridors, catching fire to anything it could as it went. The flames started small, almost unnoticeable before it started to burn the dead inside.
The fire was now well established as the smell of burning flesh, putrid and sour, began to waft through the storm. Rey snapped her fist shut, the lightning ceasing with it. She could feel the structure in her hands, feeling every corner of it. Her expression contorted as she pulled back the fist in a jerking movement. The monastery, still blazing in the rain, went with Rey's command. It collapsed with the sounds of crushing rock falling to the ground. She fell to her hands and knees, breathless. Her head hung low in between her arms while she heaved. The young Jedi had never used her power in great magnitude like this before. It took what little energy she had left, chewing her up and spitting out. Yet. somehow, the power did not scare her. She welcomed it.
Rey stood in the downpour at the edge of the cave that sat below the temple island. The island of Ahch-To is a holy and sacred place to the Jedi, the planet was staunchly centered in the Light. But with a strong pull to the Light side, like all things in the Force, there must be balance. This cave too followed the natural order as it was drowning in the Dark Side. It called to her now, feeling the shift within her, pulling her closer into its clutches. She stood there, soaking wet, at the mouth of the cavern, contemplating throwing it all away to see what she needed most. The dark grey ocean was wild as it hurled waves that crashed in front of her. It matched the tumultuous events of the past 24-hour cycle. Her eyebrows pushed together, her mouth flattened into a thin line with the corners of her lips tilted downward. She clenched her fists as she took in a deep breath, holding it in her lungs. Rey clenched her legs before releasing them in a jump. Her body was weightless as she fell, plunging towards the icy waters below. The air in the Mirror cave was different, thick with the presence of the Dark, her lungs could not quite process it as she took one more breath before dove into the water.
The cave was almost completely absent of light in the storm, making the already grey water impossible to see through. The small beads of air rushed past her skin, fizzing, and bursting as they made their hasty journey towards the surface of the pool. Rey's arms extended on each side of her using their strength to bring herself out of the depths of the cave. Her lungs began to pull in the dank air as water streamed off her face. The fire still burned in her eyes as she stared ahead at the unknown. The mirror stood ominously in the back of the cave. It called, willed her towards it. As if it knew what she sought after and would give her those answers. Her first encounter with the mysterious object of great power had left her unsatisfied, but she learned that she would only be able to rely on herself. What would it show her this time? A vision of what she will become given the dark path she was on? Or perhaps what transpired at the monastery? But she was determined to find what it called her for as she swam to the lip of the water, pulling herself out of it.
She stood in a defensive posture, face to face with the cold mirror. It saw her dark, her fire, her rage and pulled her closer to its clutches, tempting her with what she needed. Rey felt its presence too; it was cold, calculating, and ever so aware of her. The thin layer of frost disappeared as she came closer to it to reveal its reflective face. It showed Rey as a decrepit creature that mimicked her movements. Its hair was dripping wet and thin, her clothes clung to her boney body, but what stood out to her the most was its face. The eyes were a sickly yellow color, and the skin around them was black. Its face was gaunt with hollowed-out cheekbones. Rey lifted her right arm, the creature in the mirror moved its arm in perfect unison with her. Its eyes widened at her and stopped moving with Rey. Its arm dropped to its side and in a brief moment held still before it erupted in soundless laughter. Their eyes shut, its body moving with the laugh. But then it broke down. Slowly its body contorted in inhuman movements. Its back twisted and bent. Its head oriented upside down and looked back at her. Their eyes turned completely black and devoid of emotion. Like the mirror, they were cold and calculating.
"Enough of this game. I did not come here to play with you. Show me what I seek." Her tone was filled with stern anger. The image of the creature dissolved like smoke before her. Rey took another step to the mirror with her arm out. Her fingertips met the exterior of the object. An image began to appear, but it seemed far away and she was unable to make it out. The images played out with no sound. As the image came closer, Rey could feel her hand slipping through the face of the mirror. It felt like she was moving through thick, syrupy molasses and was completely absent of warmth. The mirror swallowed her arm, then her shoulder, before Rey could comprehend it, her whole body was encapsulated by the dark. She was hypnotized by the mirror's call as it pulled her further into its body. She felt no need to breathe, no fear, no sorrow, no anger, she was in a pure state of being. Her legs pulled her closer towards the image in front of her, being drawn to it like a moth to the light. She stepped into the image, sounds, warmth, and voices came back in an instant.
I felt myself come back into my body, but it was not my own. I was stronger, taller, more rigid, and could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins. I was ready. Ready for the attack. I was walking down the halls of the ship, our ship. It was alive with the sounds of mechanical whines. My brothers in arms passed me with a nod as I continued down the hall. I was heading toward my quarters. The door opened to a bleak room that only held my weapon and a small cot. No need for items from my past. Hunger panged at me. Not a hunger for food or water but hunger for blood. A hunger to drive my weapon into flesh radiated throughout my body. My fingers twitched as I stepped into my room. My weapon that sat in the far corner, drifted through the air into my gloved hand. The Mandalorian executioner vibro-ax was heavy. So many had been cut down in its wake. My fist tightened around it. Kylo Ren, I am coming for you. Traitor.
The sounds of the ship's cannons firing pulled me out of my thoughts. I walked through the door and back down the hall. I joined my brothers at the exit. They waited, all clad in black and masks. Weapons ready. We are the Knights of Ren. Deadly. The doors opened, the ramp dropped. I lived for this. This is my existence. The stone building was blown apart, we wasted no time charging them. My brothers and I split up. We cut down the Resistance troops as we went. No match for the Ren. We are the Dark, we are power. I swung my ax, bringing it down into a man that looked surprised when my weapon cut through his abdomen. Deep red liquid poured out on my blade. I tugged on the shaft with my hands. It was deep. My foot rose to the man, my grip adjusted on the ax. I used the strength of my leg to push the man off of the blade. He looked down at the wound at back at me, wide eyes, yes. I loved this. He dropped instantly.
I look up from the man, my brothers wreaking havoc on the Resistance. The bounty hunters were vicious, but not in it for sport like us. I looked to my left, Kylo Ren had a blaster in his hand, shooting at the bounty hunters. They dropped like flies. They were no match for the likes of Kylo Ren. Former leader, I am here for you. The chaos was all around but I thrive on it. I see the General of the Resistance running towards the back exit. I reached out my gloved hand, calling on the Force and pulled her down to the floor. My power was more than the old hag's body could combat. She was out cold. The girl, she laid on the ground, unmoving, amid the attack. Kylo Ren looked at me, the familiar rage burned in his eyes, but something new I never saw before. It was fear and it plagued him. I chuckle to myself as I bring my long ax up in both hands. I run towards him. He takes on a defensive posture, blaster ready to fire. I needed a good death.
Rey's exploded from the mirror, spit out abruptly from its body, landing on her hands and knees. The rough stone floor bit into her, it stung. Her lungs pulled in short, deep breaths as she stayed hunched over the ground. What had that meant? Was he dead? Whoever's eyes she had seen the attack through, they fully intended on killing him. She felt the sorrow creeping back up to her chest. She took an arm off the ground, shifting her weight, and beat her chest until it disappeared. She had no time to focus on that right now. There was one thing that was abundantly clear to her, the Knights of Ren were responsible for all the deaths of the troops. Responsible for his death. It relit the fire within her. It burned hotter, more violently. Now knowing who carried out the attack, she had a purpose. The rage, the loss, the pain were directed and linearly driven. Rey knew what she wanted to do once she got her hands on them. She was going to kill them all. Relish in their deaths. Killing one by one, so they knew their days were numbered. Her legs tucked into her chest as she moved her arms off of the ground. She pushed up, standing tall, poised. She was going to save the Knight with the ax for last. She knew she was going to savor the hunt.
Rey looked up at the opening of the cave, the rain was pouring in and falling into the pool at a steady pace. She commanded the Force, focusing it on her legs, and sprung up into a jump. She leaped to the mouth, not quite landing outside of the cave. Her body flung hard into the jagged rock. It knocked the air out of her as she clung to the lip of the entrance. She used all her strength to claw herself out. Her face contorted, squished together, her teeth bared, and jaw clenched. Her arms alternated as she tried to pull herself up. Every muscle in her arm felt as if it was being stretched to their furthest extent. But she had to keep going. After what seemed like forever, Rey collapsed on the rough landing outside. The ocean crashing below her. The rain fell on her body, her face, letting it wash over her, allowing the chaotic energy seep in through her pores. This is her, this is her life now.
For a moment she lay there, resting and unwavered by the rain hitting her face. The mirror showed her what she needed to see, but why did she still feel so empty? She pondered the thought of the hunt and how it excited her, but it still would not bring any of them back to life. But that did not matter to her anymore and she accepted that fact. She wanted to cut them up, unleash her wrath against them. She had nothing, no one, to live for anymore. Their deaths had relinquished the bonds that tied her to being human, being who they needed her to be. She did not care if she died in the process, her life meant nothing now. The only thing that mattered to her was the hunt. A burst of maniacal laughter exploded from her chest. Yes, that was the only thing now.
The airstrip was untouched as if the Knights of Ren had known no one was going to make it out alive. Well, no one except Rey. Why had they not finished her off when they had the chance, why not make sure she was dead? The Millennium Falcon stood proud in the grassy field. The brilliance of the white paint faded through the years but still stood out against the grey storm. Its ramp was open, welcoming her in. As she drew closer she thought of what dark corner the Knights of Ren would be hiding in. Most definitely in the Outer Rim, but that would not be her first stop. She was heading to the frigid planet of Kijimi. She needed information and with all the criminals that had a residence there, they were bound to have information on the Knights of Ren. Anything at this point would propel her mission in finding them.
Rey stepped into her room, the automatic lights came to life. Nothing in here served a purpose for her anymore. She had let go of anything that tied her to her old self. She disregarded it as she made her way to the modest bureau in the corner. It still had not been cleaned off or organized. The top of the bureau was riddled with paper and books. But she came for one thing. The only thing that could connect her to this world. She crouched before the set of drawers, reaching out to the small knob of the middle cabinet. The black alloy dimly reflected the lights of the room as the crossguard lightsaber slid into view. This is all that was left of Ben Solo and Kylo Ren. It was bittersweet to look at, but Rey turned it into fuel. She needed to keep the fire burning, because if she stopped, even for a minute, then she would unravel at the seams.
"Don't worry, I will avenge every single one of you," Rey said to the deadly still room. But she felt the words with such conviction. Yes, she was slipping far from the Light and closer into warm clutches of the Dark. The man takes in the Dark, Dark takes in the Dark, and then the Dark takes in the man.
Author's Note:
Hello and welcome back to the next chapter. BEN IS DEAD ?! WHAT, BUT HOW COULD I?! Who knows! All will be made clear, but for now, we are going to Rey on her journey down a dark path *Ba Dum Tss*, bad pun, sorry. Come back soon for chapter fourteen. Sorry for the shorter chapters, but I think they serve a purpose like this. So, with that, thank you all for following Rey and Ben Solo's story up until now. I really appreciate all the nice comments and likes. You guys are the best! See ya' soon.
With love,
E