I smacked on chewing gum while I read. Reading got easier when I found it necessary to tune out Dina’s group of worshippers as they talked about…personal things. Pumping music into my head as well helped keep Marcus out of my mind. So instead of thinking about my life, I was able to read about a futuristic world and listen to Flo Rida sing about a whistle.
Rhett, Levi, and Michael had already decided that they should be a band. So when I pulled my ear-buds out, I listened to them beat-box and rap in a stupid manner about My Little Pony. That was another disturbing thing about the guys at my school. They were obsessed with My Little Pony. Blech. I outgrew that when I was four.
Then Amber’s nasally voice shouted over the top of them to Michael who was doing the actual rapping. “What are you, five?”
Rhett called back, “And a half,” mocking an offended tone.
This sent them into an eruption of laughter. I wouldn’t have pulled my ear-buds out had the teacher not asked me to do so and wait for further instruction. Then Mrs. Simmons went around to everyone who had turned into IPod pod-people. Or would that be i-pod-people. Either way, they turned off their music and games. So now we all had to suffer through another My Little Pony song. This one was about tasting a rainbow while dancing on it. I really don’t want to relay their words of how the rainbow came out of the pony because it honestly made me want to barf. And then shoot myself in the head.
Mrs. Simmons tried to get everyone’s attention directed to the front, but it was futile since the My Little Pony song was at the back of the bus. I saw Ms. Parks –who was sitting across the aisle from me temporarily – ask the kid in front of me, Ian, to pull up some app.
I knew which app it was even before the high-pitched siren sounded and her voice was amplified. The bullhorn app thing. Ian had used it once before in Ms. Parks’ science class to get the kids to shut up. Always worked, I guess.
“Thank you, Ian,” She smiled down at Ian who was probably turning a million shade of red. She turned back to us, her voice coming out a little static-like from where she stood talking through the IPod. “You guys, Mrs. Simmons is trying to give you support in how our restroom break is going to function. So if you would please be respectful of her…”
“Thank you,” Mrs. Simmons said. “We will spend around fifteen minutes here for you to use the restroom and stretch your legs.” And with that the bus driver opened the doors and threw the bus into a chaotic sea of kids cramming the aisle. I was one of the first people to stand and get into the aisle, so of course I was part of the line of people being shoved and squished.
The air seemed thicker. My chest was shoved into someone’s back, and my back was shoved into someone’s chest. My breaths came a little faster. Breathe. Just breathe. I told myself. The line began moving forwards some, giving me a little breathing room (no pun intended). With a couple of inches between me and the person in front of me, I began to shuffle forward.
With each seat that we passed, the air got colder until finally my face was stone cold and right at the threshold of the bus. I climbed down the stairs and onto the concrete. As I walked at my usual fast pace, someone rushed past me and to the door. When I looked up through my fringe, I saw that it was two someone’s trying to see who could get to the Flying J fastest. One of them was Marcus. Just seeing him made my heart stop and then speed up all of a sudden. Breathe. Just breathe. I told myself yet again. And as I watched him walk into the building and out of my sight, my heart began to hurt. I shivered, but not from the cold, and kept walking.
The Flying J smelled like pizza and Axe cologne. If my eyes had been closed, I would have thought that I had teleported back to my old school. I kept walking. I didn’t know where the bathrooms were, but it was pretty easy to figure out. The string of kids was laid before me like a trail of breadcrumbs. I simply followed them to the bathroom and slipped to the front of the line. Maybe ninjas were on the right train of thought when they came up with the theory of black clothes not drawing attention to you. I crept by unnoticed.
I pretended I couldn’t hear anyone talking. But I wasn’t so lucky. Sometimes, I didn’t want to hear everything. Sometimes, I didn’t want to know what people thought – whether it was of me or something else. Sometimes, I wished for ignorance. As I climbed back onto the bus, I passed several people who whispered things to their friend. That made my heart clench some.
I didn’t have any friends here that I could talk to about my love life, if you could even call it that. My friends here were guys. This was fine by me, but still. I couldn’t talk girl talk with a guy. I also didn’t trust almost any of the people here.
There was one person, but even I was confused by it. I didn’t know him, but, yet, I felt like I did. I had only known his name for a month and four days now, but I felt like I had known him longer. Whoa. I am going poetic without even trying. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. Or if it’s good or bad that I trust Marcus so much. If someone tried to hug me, I’d stiffen and then push them away. I Marcus did, I’d return the embrace without thinking.
I was so confused, though, if that was good or bad that I almost got hit in the face.
Dina was walking down the aisle with her arms out-stretched, palms slapping each seat lazily. Her hand came within inches of my face when I reached up and snatched it with my own. Her head whirled downward to give me a dirty look. Dina yanked her hand back. “What’s your problem?”
It was a rhetorical question, but I answered it anyway. I looked up at her and then stood. I then tipped my chin forward to accentuate that she was the smaller person and that she should not to mess with me. “My problem,” I said. “Is that I do not care to get smacked in the face. If that is a problem by your standards, then perhaps you should back away,” Her glower morphed into shock and then fake incredulity with that hint of mischief in her eyes.
“Did you just threaten me?” Dina asked in her loud and annoying voice. Her eyes were like that of a bear as it looks at the fish that is now flopping around on the rocks. She thought that she had won. Well, she was in for a surprise.
“No; I warned you,” She opened her mouth to say something, but I felt the fire in my eyes flare with a dangerous light. Dina thought better of it and closed her mouth. Amber got on the bus and started talking animatedly with Dina. They moved on to sit in the back again. I was forgotten. I sat down in my seat quietly and pulled out my book.
When Levi and Michael got back on the bus, Dina’s voice got pretty loud when she said, “That little girl up there just ‘warned’,” I could practically hear her making air-quotes. “me not to come close to accidentally hit her.”
“She threatened you?” Amber said in a shocked tone.
Taking the bait, I stood up and turned around. “No; she didn’t. I warned Dina not get pissy with me when I tell her not to be careless enough to almost smack me in the face.”
“From what I can tell, a smack in the face would actually be an improvement for you,” Amber said. This sent up a wave of chuckles. Her words like barbs in my gut, but I didn’t show it.
“From what I can tell, you’re one to talk,” I said. Some of the people in the seats in front of me said, “Ohhhh,” They were returned with glares from the people I was facing. The popular people.
“Excuse me?” Amber’s voice was twice as high as usual.
“What?” I put on a look of innocence. I could tell that no one fell for it. That’s good. No one was supposed to fall for it. My eyes were giving it away. That’s okay. They were supposed to. I looked at Amber like I might if I was trying to goad someone into jumping off of a cliff, using only my eyes. She didn’t jump off of the cliff. Instead she changed the subject.
Once again I was forgotten. My friend could tell you, though, not to forget the smoke. Never forget the smoke.