Allison’s POV
Once I heard the door shut I didn’t rush to uncover myself from the blanket. To be completely honest, I kind of want to just stay here for the rest of my life and not show my face to anyone.
I’m beyond embarrassed.
Louis-walked-in-on-us. May I repeat LOUIS WALKED IN ON US. That’s horrible!
And Zayn did whatever he could to make me more embarrassed! He just kept opening his mouth and letting stupid things slip out. Does he not think? Stupid Zayn saying we were ‘busy’ doing stuff. Like, he wasn’t even embarrassed. But I sure as hell am.
I can never look at Louis the same. Heck- he’ll never look at me the same again. This is the second time we’ve been somewhat caught by him.
Oh lord, I almost slept with him... for the second time. But this time we were so much closer. I got so lost in the moment that I didn’t even think. I was so happy in that moment that I was willing to do anything with him and I didn’t even think about the possible consequences.
I can’t sleep with Zayn.
Ever.
Or at least until my life isn’t involved with drug deals, gangs, and an angry step dad (more like mom’s boyfriend). But at the same time, I’m not really planning on doing that sort of stuff with him.
If I sleep with him it’ll only make me more attached. I can’t do that to myself. I’ve gotten so attached to him as it is that sleeping with him will be the thing that’ll make me never want to let him go.
And I do have to let him go. That’s the worst part. I don’t want to. I want to keep him forever. He makes me go crazy, he gives me butterflies, and he knows me so well that he can tell whether I’m in a good or bad mood. Every second he’s with me makes me want him for the rest of my life.
I think it’s the fact that he makes me feel safe that has gotten me so attached. That feeling is something I thirst for and he willingly and freely gives me that feeling.
I stayed in bed, just thinking about everything- mainly about Zayn though. The way he kisses me with such passion and love. The multiple feelings I get whenever we make some kind of skin to skin contact. The way he pisses me off doing the stupidest things. But at the same time the things he does to make me forgive him.
He’s perfect. He’s everything I could ever want in a guy and by the way things are going in my life- I’ll never get to keep him.
Having to deal with that fact sucks.
It really does.
I forced myself out of bed and stood up, letting the cool air hit my bare skin that should be covered with a top and pants- which were flung around the room.
I felt my cheeks blush at the thought of why they were sprung around. I shook the thought out of my head and slipped my clothes back on.
After throwing my hair up in a messy bun I walked towards Zayn mirror. Looking at my reflection I frowned. My lips were swollen from all the kissing and I had love bites planted on the side of my neck.
Damn him.
I untied my hair and put it all at the one side of my face so the marks were completely covered. I wouldn’t want anyone to see those now would I? Especially Niall- he’d flip.
I paced the room, trying to waste some time so I wouldn’t have to face anyone. I already know Louis or Zayn, or the both of them are going to make some stupid remark about what happened and I’m not really up for it. But I’m going to have to face them sometime right?
Sighing, I walked out of the room and walked down the hall and into the living room. I walked right past Zayn who was sitting on the couch- not acknowledging his presence and looked towards Niall. I purposely avoided eye contact with Louis. I could feel him smiling in my direction and it kind of pissed me off.
“Hey uhm... you needed me?” I asked Niall. He stood up and nodded.
“Yah, come with me alright?”
“Sure,” Niall began to walk towards the door and I was quick to follow.
I heard a cough noise and I mistakenly turned around. I glared at the two boys wiggling their eyebrows furiously at me. I flipped my middle finger to Louis and Zayn as I turned back around to walk out with Niall.
Stupid Zayn. Stupid Louis. < These words were being repeated in my head as Niall and I made it outside the building. We walked side by side down the sidewalk without talking. The silence was starting to get to me.
“Niall...”
“Mhm?”
“Are you not going to talk? I thought you needed to tell me something?”
He looking at me, linking his arm in mine and smiled as we continued to walk. “I will, but I just want to take you somewhere first.”
I looked at him suspiciously. He was up to something and I knew it.
“Well, do you want to tell me where you’re taking me?”
He shook his head. “You’d probably turn back home.”
I stopped in my tracks; not allowing him to drag me any further. “Niall if this is something bad, I really don’t think I should go.”
“It’s not bad. It’s just something that I thought I should do to make it up to you. You know- for not being there for you when you needed me in the past.”
“Niall! That’s in the past! There was nothing you could do in the first place! I don’t need you to make it up to me.”
He pursed his lips to the side of his mouth. “Please?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t want you to think you owe me anything. I’d like to go home actually.” I crossed my arms over my chest playing a stubborn role.
He rolled his eyes. “I promise it’s nothing over the top.”
“I don’t believe you one bit, to be completely honest.”
He smiled lightly and gave me a pleading look. “Please Allison, for me. I’ll feel guilty for the rest of my life if you don’t come. Like I said; I promise it’s nothing over the top.”
“Fine.” My voice grumbled as I started to walk down the sidewalk next to Niall. I kept my hands crossed over my chest, dragging my feet with every step.
I think it was the way he begged that convinced me to go. I mean, I still don’t want to go because I know that wherever he’s taking me can’t be good. I know it’s going to be something dramatic because that’s just how he is. He really does think he owes me for not being there. But he really doesn’t. At the time he wasn’t even famous so it’s not like he had the money to support me or anything like that.
We walked into a coffee shop; Star Bucks. He led me to an empty table next to the window.
“So?” I asked resting my arm on the table and letting my head lean on my hand.
“He’s late...” He mumbled quietly, looking towards his watch.
“Who’s late?”
He didn’t answer. He unlocked his phone and looked at his text messages. I tried leaning over the table a bit so I could see who was supposed to be coming but he just tilted it so I couldn’t see.
“You’ll see.”
I slumped back into my chair and let out a long breathe. “Can I at least get a drink?”
“Nope.”
“Seriously Niall! We’re at a coffee shop for crying out loud!” I groaned; a tad frustrated.
“I know, but I pre ordered it.” Once his words processed I rolled my eyes. Of course he did.
“Ni, I just want you to know that you aren’t to blame for everything in the past. It just happened. I don’t want you to feel like you’re to blame.”
“I know. But I just want to make us a real family again.”
I raised my eyebrow. “What do you mean...?”
Just then someone walked through the door and a little ring went off confirming it. The man looked a little older and walked towards our table. He smiled once he saw Niall but once he looked in my direction it slowly began to fade.
He gave Niall and me a suspicious look. He stopped walking once he reached the table and studied me. I did the same to him. He looked familiar. Niall sat there quietly as he waited for something to happen.
I looked at Niall and then at the man standing beside him. I looked back and forth and picked out the similarities between them.
Then the realization hit me. And I think it hit him too because he had a shocked look on his face.
“Allison?” He choked out. His eyes widened. He whipped around and looked at Niall. “Niall... What is she doing here?” He spat, obviously mad.
Well hello dad.
My little memories of his presence with me in the past flashed through my mind. He always made me feel unwanted. Why? Because he constantly made me feel like a mistake. That’s why he was rarely ever in my life. I can tell that he still thinks the same way; just by the way he spoke to Niall about me and the way he looked at me.
Although we were never close, it hurt.
“Well dad, I thought you would want to see Allison again...?” He answered hesitantly, confusion plastered on his face.
“She can’t be here. Niall what do you think you’re doing? I kept her out of our lives for a reason!” He spoke angrily; his words cutting like knives.
I bit my lip and shut my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.
Peeling my eyes open I slipped out of my chair. “Niall, cancel tonight’s interview.” With that I looked away from them and walked out the door.
Once I made it out I began to speed walk; just wanting to get away.
The feeling of being unwanted sucks. Although he made it clear so many years ago that I wasn’t to be involved in their lives- having him refer to that right in front of me hurt. Just because I don’t have much of a relationship with him it still hurt to hear him deny me again- and it’ll always hurt, to be honest. It’s not like I didn’t want to have any communication with him it’s just that he never wanted me to be able to.
I walked down the sidewalk towards the flat. Before I knew it I was storming though the flats door and into my bedroom.
None of the boys were in the living room any longer so I made it there swiftly. Slamming the door- I jumped on bed and grunted.
Stupid family.
Stupid life.
Stupid everything.
Zayn’s POV
I heard a door slam and I knew it had to be from Allison. I shut my laptop and tossed it to the side and walked out of my room and towards hers.
I knocked softly on the door and got no answer- just like I expected. Instead of waiting and hoping that she’ll come and open the door for me, I walked in myself. She was planted on her bed as she buried her head in her pillow.
“Ally,” I mumbled as I walked towards her.
“Go away.”
I chuckled as I sat down on the bed next to her. “What’s wrong? I thought you were out with Niall.”
“I was.”
“And...?”
“And what? I’m back that’s it.” She spat stubbornly as shifted her body away from me.
I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her over to me, placing her on my lap as I wrapped my arms tightly around her- pulling her into my chest. She kept her arms crossed and refused to look at me.
“What happened?”
“Nothing important.”
“Ally, I know you’re lying.”
“It doesn’t matter if I’m lying or not. I don’t really want to talk about it.”
I kept a strong grip around her body as I sighed. It doesn’t seem like she’s going to budge anytime soon.
“Do you want to start getting ready for the interview? It’s coming soon.”
“It’s cancelled.”
“What? Why? Allison what happened? Something obviously happened and I need to know.”
She pursued her lips as she looked at me then rested her head against my chest.
She didn’t answer. She began to relax on me as I felt her breathing in and out at a repeated pace. I was going to ask her to just spill it but I felt her begin to shake lightly.
Before I knew it, I felt light tears hit my shirt.
Hugging her body even tighter into mine I asked what was wrong.
“I can’t take this anymore...” She said as the tears get flowing. What does she mean? What can’t she take anymore?
“What do you mean, Allison? What happened?” My voice sounded desperate for an answer. The first thing that I thought when she said she couldn’t take ‘it’ anymore was towards what Allison and I are.
“Zayn, I can’t take this anymore. Everything is crumbling down. I-I can’t-“
“What happened, Ally?”
Once she calm down her tears her voice croaked “I’m tired of not being wanted, Zayn. My own damn father doesn’t even want me. Do you know how that feels? Horrible. My whole life I’ve been told about how much I’m not wanted and how much of a mistake I am and honestly, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take anymore of my life. Nothing good is happening. I can’t let myself be with you, I can’t start a real life, I can’t even get a damn job if I wanted to because my life fucking sucks.”
She didn’t have to say anymore because now I can tell that she obviously saw her dad and he denied her again. I feel for her, honestly. She’s been through so much and having her being told that she isn’t wanted right to her face probably crossed the line.
But the fact that she thinks that she can’t be with me is ridiculous. She can be with me. She wants to but she’s too scared to. She may not know it but she has so much potential in this world.
She got of my lap and began to walk away from me and I could tell that she was beginning to try again.
I was quick to my feet and grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from the door and to me.
“Allison...” She tried to wiggle out of my grasp.
“Allison, please.” She shook her head as the tears kept spilling and my heart was aching seeing her so sad.
She was yanking at her arm, trying to get it away from so she could leave but that only made me hold it tighter. I let go of her wrist for a millisecond and forced my arms around her body, clashing her against me.
She continued to wiggle and push out of my grip but I wouldn’t move. She may not see it, but she needs this right now. She can’t keep trying to keep her emotions to herself.
“Zayn, please. Let me go!” She yelled between her cries.
I shook my head and tilted her head up to look me straight in the eyes. I looked back into her glossy pink ones and held her tight.
“Listen to me Allison. I’m not letting you go.”
I wiped some tears off her cheek with my thumb and took a breath.
“You need to understand that I will never let you go. You want to know why? Because I want you. In every way possible. I want you as a friend, I want you as more than that, I want you in a loving way, I want you in a sexual way, and I want you for you.”
“Just because you may have been told you weren’t wanted in the past, you sure as hell are wanted now. Not just for me but for every other person in this house. We all care so much about you and you can’t let all these little things get to you. You’re an amazing person; you just need to realize that.”
Silent tears kept spilling from her blue eyes as she kept her gaze locked on mine. She took a shaky breathe as she leaned up and attached her lips to mine.
My eyes shut immediately as I held her into the kiss. It wasn’t like the one we had not so long ago. This one had so much emotion in it. Her lips had a salty taste due to the tears reaching them. She held onto my shirt trying to pull me closer than possible.
She pulled away, and leant her head onto my chest as she began to cry again. She hugged me as I hugged her to my body rocking back and forth.
She finally broke. She finally realized that she can’t handle everything that happens to her all by herself.
I kissed the top of her head as I held her sad, shaking body. It really killed me seeing her like this. She always played the strong girl who doesn’t need any ones support but deep down, she isn’t. We all need somebody and for her, that somebody is me.
- SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE OMG IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN I SWEAR LIFE JUST GOT IN MY WAY.
I really hope you guys liked this chapter because I really liked it.
COMMENT AND VOTE and I'll update super soon.
QUESTION- would you be mad if zayn nd ally broke up from like... everything? (NOT GIVING ANYTHING AWAY I JUST WANT TO KNOW FOR AND IDEA).