*Dark Pains*
“AHHHH!!”
Napabalikwas ako ng bangon. Dark’s side of the bed was empty. Again. Pang-ilang linggo na siyang biglang nawawala ng hating-gabi pagkatapos paggising ko ng umaga nakayakap na siya sa akin. Sigurado ako. Boses ni Dark ‘yon eh.
“D? Asan ka?”
“AHHHH!!!”
I flinched with that scream. It’s a scream of pain, of agony. I didn’t like it one bit.
Dali-dali akong umalis ng kwarto at hinanap ang pinanggagalingan ng tinig na iyon. Hindi ko man kabisado ang mansyon na ‘to, alam kong kagaya ng mansyon namin, mayroong nakatagong silid ang lugar na ‘to. Maaaring isang basement. Kailangan ko lamang hanapin ang hagdanan na magdadala sa akin.
Alam kong doon ko matatagpuan ang hinahanap ko.
I passed through the tall wall. Napahinto ako. Beneath that I heard gruntings. Fast breathings. From my calculation, isang tao lamang ang pinanggagalingan niyon.
Naghanap ako ng passage na maaaring mag-lead sa tagong lugar na pinanggagalingan ng ingay. Aksidente kong na-slide ang isang fraction ng dingding. Bumulaga sa akin ang madilim na kawalan na tanging ang bakal na hagdanan pababa lamang ang nagbibigay ng laman.
“AHHHGH!”
“Dark…”
Walang dalawang-isip kong tinahak ang hagdanang iyon pababa. Dinala ako nito sa isang dungeon na panay kulungang bakal ang nakahilera. Nasapo ko ang dibdib ko. Eksaktong kumalansing ang bakal sa may dulo ng hilerang iyon. Agad akong tumakbo para makita kung naroon nga si Dark.
And I found myself hurting from the sight.
He was kneeling in pain. His wrists are both tied up in a chain that binds from the wall. He’s coughing blood. Too much blood that I was afraid for his life. “Dark…”
Nag-angat siya ng paningin. His eyes were not the same anymore. The one is a shade of yellow and the other is now a shade of brown. What has happened to him?
“Dream… Dream… Oh God AHHHHH!”
“Oh my God. Dark, where’s the key?” I shook the metal cage. Hindi ko mabuksan. “Dark, where is the damn key? DARK!”
I could see traces of smoke rising from his back na para bang nasusunog siya. Dark… “Just… just wait for me upstairs, baby D. I-I’ll come… AHHHHH!!”
This is breaking my heart. I need to find away to hold him. No please this can’t happen. “Dark, I’m not going. Please, baby, tell me where’s the key. You can’t do this to me. Tell me where’s the key. Let me in please?”
Pinahid ko ang mga luhang nag-uunahang umagos mula sa mga mata ko. Hindi ko siya kayang panoorin ng nahihirapan. Hindi ko kayang manood lang. Kailangan niya ako. Nararamdaman kong kailangan niya ako.
“AHHHHHH!” he grunted, his breathing going fast. There goes the little burn rising again. “I-In the wall… hanging… in there.”
Agad kong hinanap ang susi sa bawat pader ng kulungan. Nakapa ko siya sa pangalawa. Nanginginig ang mga kamay ko nang susian ko ang kandado ng kulungan na kinalalagyan ni Dark. I practically just ran and knelt down before him and took him in my arms. He buried his face in my neck and cried in pain there.
Hindi ako namamalik-mata nang makita ko ang usok na nagmumula sa likuran niya. It looks like it’s burning invisibly sa hindi ko malamang dahilan.
“Dark… you said it’ll be fine. Will it be really fine?”
“It will, baby D. Trust me.” then he screamed again.
I was horrified. Mahigpit niya akong niyayakap na parang sa akin siya kumukuha ng buhay. Natatakot ako para kay Dark. Natatakot ako. Parte ba ‘to ng eksperimento nila? Parte ba ‘to ng mga prosesong pagdadaanan niya? Bakit kailangan niyang makaramdam ng sakit? Bakit ganitong klase ng sakit? Bakit si Dark? Bakit hindi na lang ako?
“I love you, Dream. So much.”
“I love you too. I love you the same.”
I touched his cheek with my palm. He leaned against it and closed his eyes. May luhang tumulo mula sa mga mata niyang nakapikit. “Trust me?”
“Mm. I will. I do, baby D. I trust you.”
~xxxx-x-x-x-x-xxxx~
“Hey, Dreaming!” \(*0*)/
Inilagay ko ang hintuturo ko sa tapat ng aking bibig. “Sshh. He’s asleep.”
Napatingin si Yale kay Dark na nakayakap sa akin habang natutulog. Napakunot siya ng noo. “Why does Dark look different?”
“What do you mean different?” pagtataka ko.
“Well you know he’s still gwapo and all pero… why does he look a little old? Like he’s aging or something? Tapos yung aura niya, hindi na gaya ng dati. Like you’re safe when you see him. Like you’re drawn to him. Now I just… want to be scared and go run away from here.”
Napatitig ako kay Dark. Wala akong makitang pagbabago. Si Dark pa rin ang nakikita ko. Ano bang sinasabi ni Yale? Wala namang ipinag-iba si Dark ah. Siya pa rin naman ‘yan. “I don’t see anything different.”
Napakamot siya sa buhok niya. “Siguro nga namamaligno lang ako. Pero eto, nadala ko na yung mga ekstra mong gamit na naiwan mo pa kina Tita Xana. Uy kailan ang kasal? Maid of honor mo ba aketchiwa?” *0*
Ngumiti ako. “Oo na. Ikaw na ang maid of honor. Pero hindi pa namin napag-uusapan ni Dark ang kasal eh. We have… things… to handle.”
Things. I’m lying. I don’t even know what’s happening to Dark now. I just trust him. I trust him too much to stay silent about him hurting in an invisible fire in his back. Wala siyang sugat pero may dugong lumalabas sa bibig at sa ilong niya. Walang bakas ng apoy at paso pero nasasaktan siya kapag hinahawakan ko ang likuran niya.
What’s wrong with him?
“Yale, how much do you know about angels?”
Tumigil si Yale mula sa pagkain ng cookies na nasa coffee table ng kwarto namin ni Dark. “Angels? They have wings?”
Wings. Wings? “And wings… should be on their backs?”
“Duh? Obviously? Sa’n mo gustong ilagay ang pakpak? Sa ulo? Natural sa likuran. I heard from my history teacher that wings are angel’s life and dignity. Kapag tinanggalan sila no’n it means they are fallen. Just like the angel of death.”
“Wala siyang pakpak?”
Umiling-iling si Yale. “Sabi nila wala raw siyang pakpak eh. Kaya nga siya outcast. He slips inside Hell to redeem souls that demons claim theirs but don’t belong there so he’s kicked out of the Higher Heavens for that. Actually his whole choir is kicked out.”
So does that mean… “Wala ring pakpak si Dark?”
Tumingin si Yale kay Dark pagkatapos ay nag-shrug siya ng balikat. “Pwedeng wala, pwedeng meron. Kasi kung wala, paano naman siya magiging angel hunter? Eh di ba nga buhay tsaka dignidad daw ng anghel ang pakpak nila?”
“If an angel don’t have wings then… what’s gonna happen?”
“They’ll go to hell. I guess…”
My breath hitched. The idea of Gehenna is not my idea of Dark’s after life. No. Never.
Umalis si Yale pagkatapos niyang maubos ang dalawang tray ng cookies. Pinagmasdan ko lang si Dark na matulog ng mahimbing. I wanted this moment to last. Yung yakap ko lang siya, yung mga oras na wala akong ibang iniisip kundi yung hinaharap naming dalawa na magkasama. Gusto ko siyang makasama ng pang-habambuhay. Maski sa kabilang buhay, gusto ko magkasama kami.
“I think I stink…”
I blinked. Unti-unti siyang nagmulat ng mga mata. His eyes searched mine and I smiled. I wanted so badly to see him like this. Alive… loving me with his gazes. With his eyes that mirrors my soul. “No. You smell just right.”
“Really?”
Tumango ako ng nakangiti. “Really.”
“Dream… can you hurt me?”
Nawala ang ngiti ko. Anong sinasabi niya? “What?”
“Can you tell me that I’m… I’m a worthless stupid asshole? That you don’t love me. That… that you don’t wanna be with me? That you don’t care for me and you never did? Can you tell me all of that, Dream?”
“Why?”
He smiled. Then afterwards, he positioned on top of me and then kissed me gently on the lips. “Because I wanted to show you what’s real pain is. How I feel pain last night… it would never ever compare to any pain that I will feel if you, my love, will be in danger or will tell me things like that one. I’m not hurt, okay? I’m fine. I’m a lot more better when you held me. Stay with me?”
Nakahinga ako ng maluwag. His antics… damn this man. “Do you wanna claim me, Dark?”
Ngumiti siya pagkatapos ay tumango ng sunod-sunod. “I’d love to.”