TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE
(I'd also like to apologize for not adding these sooner and will go back to fix that. I'm so sorry for anyone who read something that triggered them...)
The moment Ruby saw Ben staring at her neck, her hand flew up to cover it and readjust her scarf. The soaked scarf had sagged because of the water and now revealed her neck. Ruby knew her attempt to cover her scar up again would be in vain, judging by the look on Ben's face he had seen enough, but she did it anyway in the desperate hope that Ben would let it go. She knew he wouldn't. Ben was a sweetheart and would honour anyone's wishes, but not when it came to something like this. With something important like this, Ben would become the most stubborn person you'd ever meet.
Ruby hesitantly looked at Ben, her hand resting on her neck in a weak attempt to look casual. Ben's expression was a combination of horror and worry and when his eyes locked with Ruby's, she saw the resolution in them.
Slowly, Ben raised his hand up towards her neck. He gently pulled her hand away and Ruby didn't have the courage to fight him off. Ben was very deliberate with his movements and he started unwrapping Ruby's red scarf, undoing the bobby pins with delicate fingers. By now, Ruby had averted her eyes away in shame. She felt tears built up in her eyes, but pushed them down stubbornly. This whole situation was humiliating enough for her and crying would only make it worse.
From the corner of her eyes, Ruby could see Ben putting her scarf to the side. The cold breeze that ran past her exposed neck contrasted with the burning stare of Ben. His fingers carefully grazed the jagged skin on her neck and she flinched, making Ben drop his hand immediately.
Ruby didn't dare look up at Ben. She didn't want to see his reaction. Maybe he was disgusted by her now, she knew she would be. Anytime she looked at the scarred-up tissue she felt disgusted, so why wouldn't he? Maybe he saw her scars as a weakness, like she did. If she was stronger she wouldn't have those scars. If she was better her neck would be untouched.
But Ben didn't feel any of those things. He felt worried; worried about what could've happened to the girl he loved. He also felt angry, angrier than he had ever been before. Someone had done this to her, and the thought alone was enough to make his blood boil.
But despite his immense worry and anger, he mostly felt upset. Upset that Ruby had gone through such a thing, and upset because he had seen and recognized the look on her face. Ruby was ashamed and Ben couldn't understand it. She had nothing to be ashamed of. If she was angry, upset, resentful, Ben would've understood, but he couldn't understand why she felt ashamed. The idea that she felt ashamed upset him because it wasn't fair for her to go through that and then end up feeling ashamed for it. Ruby didn't deserve that.
So, he gently reached over and lifted her head, forcing her to look him in the eye. Ruby tried averting her eyes even when she was facing Ben, but Ben was adamant.
"Ruby, look at me," He said gently. Hesitantly, Ruby did. Her coffee brown eyes met his hazel green ones and Ruby felt like crying when she saw the soft expression he wore. She didn't see all those expressions she'd feared. She found sympathy, and while she usually hated that, it was exactly what she needed right now.
Ben scooted closer and cupped Ruby's cheeks with both hands. Ruby didn't know what he was doing, she wasn't sure what would happen. He rubbed his thumb across her cheeks in a comforting way and Ruby fought her urge to put her hands on top of his. It wasn't right. He wasn't supposed to sit there and look at her like she was still beautiful, he should've made a disgusted comment by now.
Yet, instead, Ben pulled her closer and pressed a lingering kiss on her forehead. He pulled away and softly asked, "What happened, Ruby?"
Ruby looked down and pulled his jacket closer to her body. Ben wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her arm with one hand while holding her hand with the other. Ruby, without much thought, rested her head on Ben's shoulder. Ben in turn rested his head on hers and waited for her to talk to him at her own pace. It was time she talked, really talked, and he would listen to every word.
After a moment, Ruby answered, and when she did, her voice was nothing but a broken whisper,
"My mother doesn't like it when I disappoint her."
Ben's heart shattered in a million tiny pieces at those words.
He may have had his suspicions, but to hear her say it made it real. Ben knew not all parents were as kind as his, but he couldn't imagine any parent hurting their child. Ben wasn't naïve as to think that it didn't happen but never had it hit him as hard as it did now.
He squeezed Ruby's shoulder and pressed kisses to her head. "I'm so, so sorry," he whispered, not knowing what he could ever say to make it better.
Ruby heard his voice breaking and she never meant to upset him this much. She shook her head slightly, "It's okay." She tried to comfort. Ben pulled back, making her look up at him. Ben looked at her with an almost unreadable expression, but the emotion Ruby could identify in his eyes was anger.
"No, it's not okay," Ben said with a barely levelled voice. "Your mother doing this to you is never okay. Anybody doing anything to hurt you like this is never okay. Do you understand?"
"Ben—" Ruby started, wanting to reassure him. Ben put his hands on her shoulders.
"No, Ruby, listen. This is abuse, okay? Your mother abused you, and that's unacceptable." Ben tried to make Ruby understand, but she seemed to misinterpret his words. Tears appeared in her eyes and she looked down at her hands again.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
It was with those words that it finally clicked with Ben. He finally understood how much deeper this went. He didn't know how deep, but judging from Ruby's reaction, there was so much more to it than he thought.
Ben retracted his hands from her shoulders and duck his head low to look at her and gain eye contact. Ruby looked at him and Ben tried again in a much softer tone,
"No, Rubes, you have nothing to be sorry for. I meant that your mother did something unacceptable. You are the victim here and you have nothing to be sorry for. This is not your fault, okay? None of the things your mother did to hurt you are your fault."
Again, Ruby opened her mouth to counter, but this time Ben let her. He wanted to hear what she had to say and he wanted to show her that nothing made it acceptable for her mother to hurt her.
"But if I only listened to her and satisfied her, none of this would've happened."
"Your mother is in no possible situation allowed to hurt you, Ruby. Even if you set the house on fire, your mother still is not allowed to lay even a finger on you. Nothing you could do justifies this. It is not your fault."
"Then why do I feel like it is?" Ruby whispered. A tear escaped her eyes, followed by another, and another, and another. Ben pulled her closer and Ruby silently cried against his chest. Ben rocked her gently and didn't let go.
"I don't know, but you're wrong. It isn't your fault. It's not. You deserve so, so much better," Ben whispered in her hair.
"I wish I could believe that." Ruby got out between sobs.
"Then I'll repeat it until you do. Whenever you need me to."
The two of them stayed in that position for a long time, even long after Ruby's by then silent tears had dried. The sun would soon set by the time that Ben decided they had to go. Ruby's clothes were still damp and if they stayed longer she'd inevitably catch a cold.
Something in Ben made it feel wrong to take her back to school, where she'd be uncomfortable under the stares of the other students. He knew that even after all this time, and even after having gotten used to life in Auradon, Ruby still felt uncomfortable with it all sometimes. It's why she took refuge at the target practice fields so often. So, he opted to take her to his home. It was Friday anyway so they'd have the whole weekend to themselves.
He shifted from his position, gaining Ruby's attention. Ruby looked up through broken, yet shielded eyes. She was pulling her armour back on, Ben realized. He had already figured that Ruby wouldn't talk about it more today, him finding out had been a lot for her, but it still surprised him how quick she was picking up the pieces.
"I think it's time to go," Ben whispered, breaking the long-stretched silence. Ruby glanced down at her hands.
"I'm not sure I want to," she said in the same whisper. Ben kissed the crown of her head.
"I know. Do you want to go to my place instead?"
"I really don't think meeting your parents right now is the best idea." Ruby chuckled half-heartedly. Ben smiled a bit.
"They're on their weekly night out. They'll be gone right around now until later tonight."
Ruby thought about that for a moment and nodded in agreement, "Okay."
"Okay. I'm going to go get my clothes and I'll be right back okay?"
Ruby nodded and watched him leave. Part of her thought he wouldn't come back, but she pushed that part down, reasoning with herself that he'd stayed the whole day. If he had wanted to leave, he would have by now. She shook the thoughts away and grabbed her scarf, which was only slightly damp, and put it back on. She didn't feel comfortable without it, despite Ben already knowing what was under it.
Ben returned and his smile faltered slightly when he noticed the scarf back on, but he hid it well enough for Ruby not to notice. He understood why she'd done it, even if he'd hoped she wouldn't have worn it.
Ben gathered up the half-touched picnic and helped Ruby up with one hand. The two walked their way back through the forest to Ben's bike. It had been silent for a while and Ruby became more and more aware of it. Back at the Enchanted Lake, wrapped up in Ben's arms, she hadn't noticed it as much through her loud thoughts and the sound of nature around them, but now the sound of silence was deafening. And Ruby felt it was her fault.
"I'm sorry. I kind of ruined the date, didn't I?" She kept her voice low. Ben slowed to a stop and looked her in the eyes with a soft look.
"No, you didn't. Not at all. I'm glad I know."
"You didn't seem glad." Ruby couldn't help but say. Ben shook his head.
"I'm not happy that it happened to you, but I'm glad I know about it." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, making Ruby look up. "You shouldn't have to go through that alone."
"Ben, I don't—" She stopped herself.
"What?" Ben pressed, knowing that what she wanted to say was important to her.
Ruby looked at Ben. Really looked. Many thoughts were running wild in her mind. Part of her wished she was strong enough to tell Ben everything, from the way she felt to what she'd gone through growing up. Yet another part of her, the part that had kept her feeling secure and confident all these years, the part that had helped create her strong mask and armour, told her to keep quiet and pretend nothing had happened.
Ruby had always listened to that second part of her, she had listened to it her whole life. It was easier for her. But back then, the first part of her had been smashed to pieces and felt like a mere whisper in a mind. Now, now both parts were screaming equally loud, both trying to tell her what to do.
And Ruby felt inclined to start listening to the part of her that told her to open up. She knew she wouldn't be able to tell Ben everything just yet. She just wasn't strong enough for that. Ruby was physically strong, but emotionally she was a mess, and she had to sort herself out before she'd feel strong enough to truly open up. She knew she should, and here in Auradon, she could. There was a reason why she was now considering opening up; Auradon made her feel like that was an actual option. Here, emotions weren't disregarded, instead people embraced them. Ruby knew she had to learn to do that too, no matter how unpleasant some of those emotions might be.
Ruby was aware that this would be an uphill battle and that she could easily fall back into old habits. The urge to put her armour back on and hide behind her mask of the Ruby Princess would be hard to resist, but she had to try. She hated how weak she felt for not being able to talk about this. She hated it even more that she wasn't even sure what she felt, even though she felt like she should know. She'd have to work on that and it was very unlike her.
Ben tended to do that to her; make her do things she wouldn't have believed months ago. She would've thought she'd despise him for making her something she wasn't, but she just couldn't. Ben brought out a different side of her, a side she liked, and she was happy. She liked Ben even more for it and she knew he'd be there to support her.
There was one thing she had to make clear first though,
"Please don't look at me differently. I'm not some kicked puppy in need of pity. I don't want you to look at me like that."
Ben nodded slowly as his eyes showed her that he understood where she was coming from before his mouth could, "Okay," he agreed. He couldn't promise her anything, but he'd try because he knew that if it were him, he wouldn't want pity either. He understood that.
Ruby nodded. She looked down at their intertwined hands, keeping her gaze there as she continued, "I can't promise you that I'm going to be good at talking about any of this, Ben. I've never been good at emotions and talking and stuff, but," She looked up at Ben, coffee brown meeting hazel green, "but I'll try. You just have to be patient with me on this, okay?"
"Of course." Ben wrapped her in his arms, hugging her to his chest in a warm embrace, desperately wishing he could hold her there and protect her from the world. He pulled away and ducked his head a little to look her in the eye, "I promise, Rubes. I'm here whenever you need me, okay?"
Ruby pushed back tears when she saw the genuine look in Ben's eyes. He was there for her. He wasn't going anywhere, even after what he now knew about her. He loved her. He genuinely loved her. Not because of a love spell, not because he loved her façade.
He loved her for her.
Ruby had never been good at words. Never been good at telling people how she felt. She wasn't good at any of it. She was a woman of action instead.
She cupped his face and pressed a kiss against his lips.
Ben, taken back at first, soon kissed her back and both of them melted into each other's touch. They pulled back after a moment, their foreheads touching. Ben's eyes sparkled as he locked eyes with Ruby. He knew exactly what she'd meant to say and whispered,
"I love you too."