Everything had been set on the table, food, drinks the cake. The Bluey balloons were blowing in the wind with the sun beaming down on my skin as I set down all the party bags. "Marley, darling, come and sit down. You have been rushing all over the place since 5 this morning. This cannot be good for the baby." Damien ushers me to the garden swing, handing me a glass of water and two pills.
"What's that?" I asked with a sigh trying to get rid of this headache with a couple of gulps of water.
"Your vitamins. I know you haven't taken them this morning because your pill box was filled." He answered forcing his hand closer to me.
"I don't need to take them just yet."
"Marley you've been saying that every day for the past two weeks. I know you are worrying about Rhys's birthday but take a breath and calm down. You're pushing yourself to do more than you can." He pulled my hand towards him and put the pills in my hand. "Take them." I swallow down the tablets and take in the ice-cold water, calming down my headache.
"I know I'm not taking care of myself much lately, I just need this to be his best birthday yet. His first birthday wasn't the best because I couldn't afford it. You're here this time and I wanted it to be a good experience for you."
"Marley, it's going to be the best birthday whether there are lots of people and presents and cake, or if it is just us watching tv with our family." He assured in a tender tone. He towered over me before kneeling in front of me, taking the glass out of my hand and placing it on the decking under us. "You are a wonderful mother and nothing will change that, what matters is that you have thought of him and are gifting him with a party."
"Will you enjoy it?" I sniffled as I wiped away a lone tear on the back of my hand.
"Marley, my love, I enjoy everything that you do. I'm grateful I'm here this year. There is nothing more in this world that I could ever wish for than to be here surrounded by our family and celebrating another year of our son's life." He consoled. He cupped my cheek in his hands and brought his face closer to mine, resting his forehead on mine. "You are the best mother to Rhys and you will be the best mother to this little one." His hand fell to my belly.
In the background, I could hear Rhys calling my name from the house. I turn around just as he is waddling onto the garden decking with Mary-Jane following behind him. "Good morning birthday boy!" I cheered. He squealed as he ran towards me, arms wide open, calling for me to pick him up and wrap him in the safety of my arms. "You are getting heavier with every day that passes. Mummy won't be able to carry you soon, darling."
"Why?" He asked me for the millionth time this week. 'Why' had become his favourite word. In every conversation we would have, his response will always be 'Why', even when he does not need to ask.
"Because mummy is growing a little brother or sister in her tummy, so she will not be able to carry you as often as she does now," Damien answered. Much to my demise, the doctor had requested that I do no heavy lifting and I suppose carrying a two-year-old boy that is growing by the day, comes under the title of heavy lifting. "What time is everyone arriving, Marley?"
"They should all start arriving at 12." I looked over at the garden clock. "So we have 3 hours to make sure this party is ready and perfect." I set Rhys down on his feet and told him to go with Mary-Jane to get ready for the party. "I set his clothes out on his dresser Mary-Jane." She smiled at me and beckoned Rhys to join her. I turn around to the food table and start setting out the paper plates.
Two strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me into their chest. Damien's scent fills the air and I can't help but breathe it in. "What are you doing?" I sigh.
"Can I not give you some affection?" He laughed.
"Of course you can but this was how it started with making baby number 2." I chuckled as I set some napkins over each plate.
"Well we could always practice making number three, we still have 3 hours."
"Like you could last for 3 hours! Anyway, at least give me a chance to have baby number 2 before we practice for baby number 3." I clawed at his arms trying to release myself from his tight grip but to no avail, my attempts fell to the floor. "Could you let me go?" I plead.
"Why would I do that when I could do this?" His grip became looser as his hand found the zipper of my jeans and began to undo them.
"We are outside!"
"No one will see us, we are in the middle of nowhere." His voice had grown more husky with desire. Instinctively I pressed myself against his jeans and enjoyed the feel of his desire for me against me. "We have 3 hours."
"What are you thinking?" I whispered. His hand found my underwear and slid underneath the lacey material. I gasped as his hand found my clit and slowly started to tease me. The warmth of his other arm left me as I felt the chill of the spring air on my bare skin where my jeans once covered.
"Bend over and you'll find out."
*****
The party was in full swing once everyone had arrived. After our little break from the party prepping, our family and friends started arriving earlier than planned. Damien had run off with Luke and Rhys to the bouncy castle, both the men were having more fun than Rhys.
"So, how are things with you and Damien?" Maddie asked, looking at the food on the table.
"We're doing okay, he's been attentive with me lately."
"I mean, come on," She stared down at my belly and then back up at me, "what do you expect? You are carrying his child." I sigh and place a hand on my belly, right where the little foot was kicking.
"I know, but he seems to be walking on eggshells around me because of it. As if I am going to break at any point or burst and the baby is just going to pop out and be a fully grown adult already." She laughed at my exclamation, and after a second or two her laughter died down as she grabbed a slice of pizza.
"Have you thought about what could be going through his mind?" I stared at her blankly. "When Rhys was born, he had abandoned you both. This could bring up memories from your pregnancy with Rhys. Have you thought to talk to him about it?"
"No. I never thought of it like that." I muttered, only able to hear the crunch of the crisp I had eaten.
"Maybe talk to him about it. He will be acting this way because he cares about you, however, it will also be about missing everything with Rhys and trying to prove to you that he can be a good father to Rhys and also a good man for you."
I was about to reply to her when Damien came over and wrapped an arm around my waist. "What are you two chattering on about? Not getting me in any trouble are you, Maddie?" Maddie laughed.
"Me," She gasped placing a hand on her chest feigning hurt, "I would never purposely get you in trouble." She winked at me. I rolled my eyes at them both and zoned out of their conversation. Maybe Damien is thinking about everything that happened while I was pregnant with Rhys. But if that is the case, why couldn't he tell me about it? I'm the mother of his child with one on the way, we're in love. I should be the one that he could talk to about anything. I should be the one- "Marley, are you still with us?" Maddie's voice broke me out of my train of thought that would spiral into overthinking it all.
"Yes of course," I brushed it off, "I'm just going to go inside, need a bit of space from everything." Maddie looked at me with a sad smile. I turned on my feet and headed towards the house, as soon as I was in the kitchen I could not hold it in anymore. I lifted a hand to my cheek and felt the wetness of my tears falling down my skin. I grabbed onto the kitchen side to stop myself from losing balance, my knees had become weak.
I felt someones hands on my shoulder and turn me around into their arms. His scent filled my nose, making me cry harder than I was. "Why?" I sobbed.
"Why what darling?" He spoke softly in my hair, placing a kiss on my forehead.
"Why aren't you telling me how you feel?" I pull away and look up at his face, which had concern written all over it with his furrowed eyebrows.
"What are you talking about?"
"I had been speaking to Maddie because you have been overly weary and concerned about me. She said that it could be because you hadn't been there for Rhys while I was pregnant and the first couple years of his life. Now I can't help but think about it and I don't want you to then treat this baby differently because you have been here all of the time for it and I don't want Rhys to grow up resenting you if that does happen. I don't-." My sentence was cut off with the warmth of his lips on mine.
"Marley, I will not deny that these thoughts haven't been going through my head when they have, ever since you told me about this little one. I promise you none of this will affect the way I treat Rhys, I am always going to treat every single child we have the exact same." He gave me a light kiss on my lips. "Every parent is scared for a new child. It's another person you need to take care of, another little human being that needs care and attention twenty-four-seven. It is terrifying, I am terrified that I will mess it all up. It is a natural feeling."
"I am so scared. Theres already so many complications and worries with this little one, what if," I was cut off by him pulling me in for a tight hug.
"No what if's, we do not do what if's. Everything will be okay." He gently placed a kiss on my forehead and beckoned me to come and rejoin the party.
I really hope so.
*****
"Happy birthday day to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Rhys, happy birthday to you." Everyone sang together and cheered once the final candel had been blown out, with the help of Damien of course.
This had become one of the most memorable birthdays. I can only hope and pray that every birthday we get to enjoy will be almost as amazing as this one has been.